I did this for the final Harry Potter book (which I now have a greater respect for) and so it's only fair that since I went to all the trouble to buy and read Breaking Dawn, I might as well do the same.



Negative 160, 000, 000 out of 5 stars.

In a blatant show of discontinuity, Meyer contradicts the canon that she herself introduced in the previous three books. Bella and Edward have a baby because, "vampire semen is immortal, it doesn't die off, it just searches and searches for an egg. the end." No mention is made to the fact that in the twilight-verse, the only bodily fluid that vampires have is venom. I'm sure she meant to say venomous semen.

Second of all... as if Bella isn't already the most irritating, self-absorbed main character ever, she's also a... slut? Those honeymoon scenes pushed me over the freaking edge. Bella was introduced previously as a shy, naive teenage girl. I thought it was downright demeaning to have her practically begging Edward to have sex with her the entire time they're on their honeymoon. And I laughed out loud when Bella broke her spine during sex and lived because that can totally happen. Honestly, Meyer, you could've at least made up some stupid reason as to why Bella could survive that kind of back trauma?

You know, the same way you explained everything else.

I just felt like the whole book was Meyer saying, "Oh, well, nevermind, Bella can get pregnant. Oh and yes, Jacob can stick around without angsting all over the place. Also, "Nessie" ages rapidly. And falls in love with notangsty!Jake." She probably wrote the book in a convenience store.

What bothers me still is the way that Meyer just tells her reader, "and Bella just forsake any desire she ever had of having a normal life, going to school, and getting a job so she could spend forever with a man". Wth? Dude, you forgot what happens in reality. What a horrible message to send out to the 390485693850934859438503 teenage girls that are fans of Twilight. Forget going to college or university, just find your true love, marry him and have a kid at eighteen and like Bella Swan who continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.

That said, Stephanie Meyer can obviously put words that sound nice together. But she has major issues with continuity, which is surprising because the Twilight universe isn't that big. There aren't half as many plotlines or characters as there are in the Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. Does she not have an editor??

Ugh I need to go wash all the failure out of my head.