A. So I decided that once a month I'm going to buy myself a shirt from palmercash.com because I love all of their shirts and I feel like I deserve it. THERE, DEAL WITH IT.

B. Screw You.

C. You're an ungrateful little pathological liar and kleptomaniac. Your presence is neither wanted nor appreciated. The nasty little comments you make so nonchalantly are aggravating and you're only saying them because you're jealous - that's right, I said it. You're jealous of me. You take after me in (almost) every aspect of your life and it's annoying. Remember when I was listening to David Bowie, and you asked who that was? And then the next day there was a picture of him on your MYSPACE claiming he was your 'musical hero'? Yeah, what I just said is really childish but it's all just to prove my point - you copy off of EVERYTHING I do and you should stop because you'll never be like me - you lack the INTELLIGENCE and KINDNESS and you're way too much of a HUGE bitch to be like me. I've caught you a countless number of times trying to steal my shit and not only do you not have the balls to admit it when I confront you about it, but you act offended and don't even have the common fucking sense to, uh, NOT STEAL MY STUFF AGAIN. Quit kidding yourself - you're an immature, spoiled brat and don't you DARE ever tell me again that I was the one who had a good childhood - that your childhood was safe and boring and you hated having both parents there, getting along all the time, never having to worry about money. Fuck you. Fuck you to the highest degree. FUCK YOU TO THE LAST DIGIT OF PI. (haha) Your behavior never merits celebration or praise - rather disappointment and regret and shame. But that's okay, because we (your friends, family, those who have come to know/hate you) don't expect any more out of you, we couldn't if we wanted to. You're nothing more than a pretty face and I have a feeling that's all you'll ever be. And the PEACE CORPS? Don't make me laugh. Your pseudo-hippie animal-loving peace-preaching ways are laughable and at most TRENDY. You're the LEAST peaceful person that I know and you know what? THEY DON'T HAVE OUTLETS IN THE DYING VILLAGES AND TOWNS OF AFRICA IN THE 130 DEGREE HEAT, WHICH MEANS YOU CAN'T STRAIGHTEN YOUR HAIR! HA! Once this realization comes to you you'll freeze and quickly change your mind. You're unbelievable and youre not the first person to ponder of philosophical and religious matters, RETARD, YOU AREN'T A PHILOSOPHER, YOUR THOUGHTS ARE AS DEEP AS MY BUTT AND BUTTON LEAVES MORE PERSONALITY IN TIGHTLY COILED PILES OF SHIT IN HIS LITTERBOX. And the lying, your stories contradict each other so blatantly that I don't consider anything you say true anymore - you're a no good dirty worthless liar and everyone sees it. Everyone knows it - you're such a hypocrite. Yes, everyone is a hypocrite sometimes, but you aren't just a hypocrite SOMETIMES, that's your fucking lifestyle. If I didn't know any better it's like you strive to be as annoying and hypocritical as possible - and it works! This is the truth, the real truth, and while there IS good in our friendship, this is all the bad. The bad that I can never tell you, because as often as you ask me to be "honest" with you, my "honesty" always flings you into a bad mood faster than I can flip a light switch. You're bi polar, whether you want to admit it or not, and putting up with your constant mood swings is EXHAUSTING and I've given up on putting up with them. But even when I calmly tell you that you're being moody and mean and rude you just freak out even more and go deeper into your "dark place". You're fine to be around every now and then and if this summer has taught me anything it has been that "every-now-and-then" means like twice a year. Just leave me alone in between - you DONT miss me, you DONT miss hanging out with me - you miss having an apartment to yourself with no parents around to tell you how stupid you are. Go ahead, complain about how your ex-boyfriend (who, by the way, you have no control over, boyfriend or not he doesn't care what you think about his drug use, CLEARLY) does "way too many drugs" and then jig yourself into jail on counts of possession of marijuana, you fucking clueless half-wit. Don't bitch about people doing the THINGS THAT YOURE DOING, you're an idiot and hey, what did I do if not prove that you're a hypocrite! You have a cold cold heart and your head is filled with AIR. You stand firmly by your belief that cats lick themselves for strictly pleasure and it's not a method of cleaning themselves - you are such a friggin idiot it's unbelievable. I won't even argue with you over things like this anymore because it's always so crystal clear that you're wrong - you argue the STUPIDEST points of all time and you never win because you're always always wrong - just face it, you've paved the path for your life and up until now it has taken you down the path of self-destruction and you don't know how to change that. This is the reason you are immature - you cannot open your eyes and see that your decisions now will affect your life later and therefore you will remain on the same path for god-knows-how-long - I understand your point of view, I was in the same place once and I was strong enough and smart enough to recognize that and I turned things around for myself, though I was never as bad off as you were in that sense - your mental, emotional, AND physical self destruction was always a concern of mine, at least, until I realized it was simply an outlet for your own personal frustrations within yourself, and a pathetic cry for sympathy and attention. I've tried to help, I've given you my advice, and told you that you could do it and that I believed in you but you threw that all away with this last time you were here (you "forgot" to wipe up the blood on my bathroom floor, and you didn't conceal yourself as well as you thought). I do feel sorry for you. I really do. You were handed the tools to build yourself a wonderful life, and all they are doing is gathering dust - while I had to cut down the tree and saw it into shape to make the wooden handle of the hammer (cool! lumberjack/tool metaphors!) if you know what I mean. I was not handed those tools, I wasn't lucky enough, but I am way better off than you are, I can say that proudly. Maybe you're just a late bloomer - but I hope you come to your senses and get your shit together before I MAKE you get your shit together - and that won't be pretty. Please, I'm asking you to just fucking think for once.