After dinner, I cleared the table for my parents, before attending bible study.

Church was the only place where I had friends. Real friends. I liked church for that reason. In our youth group, Andrew Saunders and I are Guidance Leaders. It's a massive thing to be, and all the younger kids look up to us.

I don't get to spend a lot of time with Andrew, but I could call him my best friend. He listens to me when I have wrong thoughts or problems and gives me advice. Without him, I'd be a mess.

Andrew is a year older than me, and what he doesn't know about life....isn't worth knowing.

He, unfortunately goes to another school. A good Mormon school in which I really should be attending, but it's private and my parents just don't have the thousands of dollars to send me there with.

I go to Palo Verde High School, North Las Vegas.

"Brendon, you know that in a week the Carnival will be in town. I was thinking that we could organize an outing there with some of the kids. It'll be fun. What do you think?" Andrew asked, as I nodded, and clapped my hands together.

"Sounds great. I'll ring around tomorrow after school and get a list of the kids who will be attending," I loved to organise stuff. Andrew was the guy to suggest things and I was the one who got right in and organised it all.

Carnivals ruled. The lights, the rides, the cotton candy, the side shows.....I loved it.

The next morning I was standing at the bus stop alone at the end of my street like I do every other morning when two kids walked towards me.

'Great! Now I'm going to get mugged or something,' I thought, sort of trying to figure out how far away from me they should be before I flight.

"Hey.." one of the kids called out in a non- threatening tone as they walked side by side closer to me.

One was a skinny kid with shoulder length light brown hair, and the other was a guy, who was of normal build, and had short brown hair. He looked a little more respectable than the girl he was with. She had really tight jeans on....sort of looked like a tom boy. No breasts....not that I was a pervert.

They walked closer.

"I do....don't have ...anything you...you'd w...w....,"

Why can't people leave me alone?

"Hey....is this where we catch the bus to Palo Verde High School?" the boy asked, looking at me like I was a freak.

I sighed, but stayed on guard. Maybe this was a trick. I trusted no-one.

I nodded really fast over and over, moving away from them, before realizing that they were the kids that moved in across the road.

"Thanks. Um.....I think you live across the road from us. You have a little black and white dog? Is that you?" the boy asked, as I watched the girl look at the ground and kick at a patch of dirt on the nature strip.

"Her name is Snoopy. Yeah."

I put my hand out and introduced myself.

"My name is Brendon Urie," even though by the time they get to school, they would forget who I was, it was the polite thing to do.

The boy put out his hand.

"Mike Ross. This is my cousin Ryan Ross," he said, as I nearly died. Ryan? That's a boys name. I felt so silly.

Ryan looked up at me for a second and smiled a little, before uttering a small hello.

On his right eye he had a fading black bruise. Maybe from getting into fights.

"Ry, is living with us for a while," Mike added, before he put his arm around his cousin and gave him a quick hug.

"Oh....I thought he was a girl...." blurted out of my mouth as I laughed, before realising what I had just said. Right then I wanted to smack myself in the head. Maybe run into traffic. That was the dumbest thing ever to say.

"Fuck you!" was Ryan’s response, looking up at me again.

"No...no....I didn't mean you are a girl....I just....I just.....I'm sorry."

'Nice one Urie. These guys are being nice to you and you go and blow it by opening your mouth!' my thoughts yelled.

The to guys didn't say anymore to me. Kind of even moving over to the curb so they didn't even have to stand with me.

What?

Was I diseased?

What was it about me that no one liked? I just didn't get it.

At school, I went straight to the music room and handed in my permission slip for guitar club.

Guitar club starts today at lunch time, and I had been waiting for what seemed like ever to get into it.

First class was Home Economics. I looked at it as Scouts class, even though I was the only male in there.

Maybe I'm the only guy in this school that knows how to cook and sew. I figured when I elected it, that they're skills essential to know for life.

I made chocolate truffles today.

Next period was Gym. I hated it.

I was always last with anything we did, except for Poison Ball. I'm first......out.

"Hey Geek.....don't tri........" down I went, flat out crashing to the floor no sooner I walked into the boys change rooms to get on my gym clothes.

A roar of laughter erupted.

I some how corked my thigh on something on the way down.

Rolling onto my back, and cradling my left thigh, I looked up at Thomas Curtis. He was standing over me grinning.

"I was going to say to you, 'Don't trip!' Ohhhhh! Sorry, my foot was in your way," Thomas laughed, as I wished that I was bigger for just two minutes so I could......hurt him somehow. To wipe that smile off of his face.

I got up to my feet.

Being the better person that I was, I simply turned and hobbled down to my gym locker and got dressed into the schools gym uniform, feeling happy that today was Friday and I didn't have to put up with this stuff for two days.

Hopefully on the weekend the school would burn down.....I was full of wishful thinking.

"Hey......dude.....are you okay? I saw you fall before," a voice asked, before I felt a presence sit on the bench next to me, while I put my runners on.

I looked across, adjusting my now; poorly fitting glasses, wondering what joke now was being played on me. No-one ever asked if I was okay.

The guy from this morning, Ryan sat beside me. My new neighbour.

"Yes," was my only reply, looking at his face.

I believe that when you talk to someone you have to look them in the face. Then they know you're sincere with what ever you tell them.

I wondered why he cared enough to ask.

I felt my cheeks start to get hot; with embarrassment....shame....I wasn't sure what this feeling was.

I looked away, wanting him to leave me alone. If he's seen with me, more than likely he'd become a target too.

"Are you sure?" he asked, reaching over and put his hand on my knee and tapped at it twice in a comforting way. As soon as he touched me, a light tingling sensation took over my body. A breath hitched in my throat. He took his hand away and stood back up. My hands started to shake.

I pushed myself off of the bench, stood up and ran. As fast as my legs would take me, with a corked thigh.

Why the hell did I run?

If that boy didn't think I was a freak before, after running away from him like a scared rabbit, he sure would now.

I ran out on to the oval where everyone was already doing laps.

"Come on Urie. Get a move on!" Mr Brown, the Phys-Ed teacher called out, grabbing my arm and ushering me along into a jog.

"Hey, dude, look I'm sorry about before. I mean, I didn't touch your leg....like...I'm not gay or anything....." Ryan was now jogging beside me.

I continued to jog, but went a little harder, hoping that Ryan would drop off and not run with me.

"...and......I didn't mean to freak you out..." he continued, showing no sign of slowing down.

I looked across at him for a second.

"You...can't be seen with me....." I puffed, before looking forward and continuing to jog.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, as I had enough jogging already and started to walk.

I didn't answer. A few days at this school...maybe even a day and he'll work it out, and he wouldn't even think about jogging next to me.

Despite me ignoring him, through out the whole hour of gym, Ryan stayed around me. It sort of was nice to actually have someone there, that wanted to be there, but I knew all that would change.

At recess he only then left me and I continued on with my solitary social day at school.

Lunch time guitar club was awesome. There was only five of us in the group, but it was fun. Mr McLean gave us guitar tabs and he told us all to go home and practise. My dad has an acoustic guitar, and he lets me play around with it, and he taught me how to play basics. Sometimes he lends it to me and I play to the small kids at church.

Walking home from the bus stop that afternoon, I couldn't help but smile. I might have even skipped a little. It was the start of the weekend. Friday afternoons were always good.

"Brendon! Wait up!" I knew it was that Ryan.....boy.

I waited, turning to see Mike further off in the distance walking by himself. Ryan had ditched him to walk with me.

"What are you doing this afternoon? Do you want to come have a few games on Play station or something? Mike set it up in my room last night for me. Dude, I've got a Play station 2 and a few kick ass games. It'll be fucking great fun," Ryan said, as I shook my head.

"Thanks for the offer, but I have some things to do this afternoon already," I said really wanting to take him up on the offer. I wasn't a big console games fan.

I never really played one. Only once, in Sears on those demonstration ones. I couldn't figure out how to even put it on. Well....no. I haven't played one. Touched the controller if that counts.

"What do you have to do?" he asked, as we started walking together.

"I'm organizing for some teens from church to go out to the Carnival that's going to be in town next week end. It'll be fun. Then I need to finish up some homework,"

Really this was none of his business.

"How about tomorrow?" Ryan asked as we neared our houses.

"I can't. Got church in the morning then some of us are going to go do some work at the local Animal Hospital. Help out there for a few hours," I said, wondering why he would want to hang out with me.

"Alright. You know, um......if you get bored or anything, you can come over," Ryan said, smiling a friendly smile at me.

I managed a smile back.

For a second, I considered it, but....my parents would definatly disapprove of me hanging around someone like Ryan. Longish hair, black eye and tight pants. That in it's self would make them freak out.

"Thanks for the offer again. I've got to go," I pointed to my front door.

"Okay. Seeya around Brendon," Ryan obviously knew that I didn't want to hang out with him.

As I walked up to the front door and got my keys out to unlock it, Ryan called out to me, making me turn my head to look at the boy, standing in the middle of the road.

"Brendon! You........You know why you don't have any friends? You are so fucking hard to make friends with. That's why. Think about it!"

My stomach sunk, as I watched him turn on his heels and walk up his driveway.

'What would he know?' I thought angrily, kicking the front door shut behind me once I entered.

'What does he even know about me?'