Wow. It’s officially 0:35 Saturday, but pretty much Friday night. I’m listening to Zzyxz Road (taking my time to check the spelling of the song, I have time, as this blog will be a motherfucker), I feel so bittersweet, I’ve been wanting to blog about Wednesday for a while, and it’s been too long. I like the feeling of expressing myself, through blogs, quite soon, it feels good. But I feel a little trapped, haven not done that yet, but now it’s perfect, I am cocooned in my compartment of the caravan awning, and I’m in my awesome sleeping bag, which is usually too hot, and I the hood gets in the way, but it’s raining, and it’s cold, and I’m going to appreciate to a point where it’s lovely, I think that sleeping in boxers and a tee has made it better, although these boxers are my brothers, as a packed all of the rest for the holiday, I could do with some new ones actually, might get some nice ones, not designer like, but some cool ones, these are nice and stretchy, shame about what’s inside them. Anyway, I’m feeling quite good now, I’m a little tired, and I’ll be tired by the end of this blog, but I want to do this. I will enjoy this holiday more (I’ll probably talk about that in later blogs, as I need to concentrate on the week now,) anyway I anticipate this could be a big bastard of a blog, if it isn’t then the rest will attach onto future ones, which will make it larger, in general. Wow, it’s summer and I’m blogging it’s interesting to look back, to last summer, I’ve changed so much, and I’m so happy as a human, and having all this time off, it’s odd really, especially at how I’ve accepted it so well. I’ve been off for nearly as long, as I do in normal summer, and the rest of school haven’t broken up yet. I haven’t done all of these amazing things that I wanted to do, get buff, nano-write, even the social side has been odd, but awesome, just ... err, I’ll describe my week anyway, that should come to all of my points. But the initial point I was making was that it’s nice to be blogging this sort of thing away, chronicling all year-round, capturing every day is awesome, and in a way I wish I began earlier, although I think I was a little too immature to begin, although it would have allowed me to see my flaws, and help myself, nevertheless, the time I started felt right, which is rare for me. I dunno it’s the magic, of the prom and summer lure; I always talked about, which has happened, and currently being wasted at the time. And the fact I could have stopped there, but carried on (like that musical term Sam Harris talked about,) and now I’ve onto chapter two of the blog, I suppose, or three, if I could say that chapter one, was free-writing and bulking out a skeleton of my past (i.e. Talking about the important times in my past, the important things, the emotions, the thoughts, and everything else I must categorize, or I won’t get near finished and either I, or my laptop will die before I’ve finished.

Oh, Silly World I <3 that song, so beautiful, like most of Stonesour, I remember on my 10-day caravan holiday with Grandparents too, like last year, and it feels like I’ve come fullcircle, and like my annual holiday to Devon, I see how much I’ve changed, and feel happy, whilst enjoying the constant things about it all, this is one of the moments, where I’ve felt it really strong, without me moving at all.

Not everything will captured, and for a time, I thought that notion wouldn’t be captured, although with blogging I always get this security, that I’ve got it, and it doesn’t matter if I haven’t, which is completely unlike me in any other circumstance. But without furthermore ado, I’m going to blog. Wow 721 words in already.

What a surreal couple of days, pure magic. I’ll start with Tuesday, watched A Clockwork Orange, I’ve told you how I love it. What was odd about that event, was how Ash rang, when I was half-way through and I realized, towards the end, how I’d only have like three minutes to get ready, so I could meet him outside Haybridge, as I was going to go shopping with him at Merry Hill to get some presents for mother. Ugh, didn’t get much done, but I’m tired, will finish in morning. Well I turned off at 12:59, or at least what my IPod said, well its 10:00 now, and effectively 9 hours later, and I’m surprised how I slept so well, this little cocoon is lush, although the airbed feel is never perfect. Well I’m quiet happy to blog for half hour, and get some more blog done. Back to Tuesday — I wonder how I angled how I angled my laptop with my body last night, it’s as awkward as fuck, anyway I swear, I will do some later, inside the caravan preferably where no-one is watching me, anyway I’m gonna get up, as Mom and Nan are shouting retarded things. Back 11:10, I’ve had breakfast, talked, and read Empire for a while, I’ll blog for a while, but I’m not promising too long, it’s just that I need to express this stuff now. Yeah so after watching A Clockwork Orange, I hadn’t explained to Mom, and Mom knew I was watching a movie so I couldn’t use my excuse, that I was going out with Joe or Ashwin, or whatever ... and then Dad got back, and said he was going to Merry Hill, and then I asked if that was Ash’s care outside, and then they said it wasn’t, and it was, and that was funny, and awkward, and Ash came through round the back for a piss, and I asked when he was going, I didn’t know what to say but I wanted to show my presence, and then it made me seem angst-like and then Ash came in, and we just told the truth. And I found it interesting, how our different levels of information, and trying to be subtle, really doesn’t work. Anyway, we went to Merry Hill, and bought a card, a book and some chocolates for Mother, (as I’d already bought a CD, when I went to Merry Hill with Joe and Jake, referenced in a previous blog entry,) needless to say, we got our presents, done and Ash wrapped them upstairs, and I didn’t know, but I decided I was going to get up early, at a normal time for Mom’s birthday, (I just realized how stressed I am when I don’t blog straight away,) and I did, not quite as early as Ash which was just as well, as he gave the presents to Mom, but before I got up, I had to write my card for Mom, and then was the beginning of Wednesday, a surreal, awesome day. It was Mom’s birthday, and I had woken up at the time I normally used to get up for school, 7am, which is a million miles away from now. I just can’t believe it all, how I feel a million miles away from getting up early, homework, and Mr Payne. But it felt so good to be up for GMTV, and it was satisfying to see how shit it still was, Mom said that Nan and Jane were coming down for some coffee and to give some presents, luckily Joe and Jake came which made it better, it was sterling fun, just talking about things, although I didn’t like explaining our new blu-ray DVD player, million inch blu-ray TV, and surround speakers, and how we never brought it up. I was honest, it’s an embarrassment, I’m sure Ash’d have a retarded explanation for it. But we ended up going to The Vine, in Clent for lunch; mine was vegetarian of course (a whole week now!) and our meal consisted of everybody questioning why I am a vegetarian, and shit like that. It was nice for my Mom to have this, she didn’t know it was coming, and I love her, she deserves it. Oh yeah, and on Tuesday the 360 came back, not that I’m bothered, I didn’t notice it was gone for four days, and it didn’t really affect me, and I just realized my Wii has been unplugged and stored somewhere else, for the whole of my summer holidays thus far, and I really haven’t noticed, it’s actually at a point where this is genuinely hilarious. No joke, its Dad’s retarded decision, what’s funnier is how Joe Junior says his life is a 1/10 because his Xbox needs to be away for a week, what a fucking materialistic loser. Anyway back to Wednesday, we went for a meal, and it was pissing it down, lovely up in Clent, saw Ben Watson, said alright to him, even though I don’t really like him. Saying that I’d pretty much speak to anybody that I know, I’m like that. Wow the awning outside is awesomely big, and I just remembered when I started writing a few things about my past on MS One Note, and how the evolution from that to a blog is a big step-up. Anyway, we went back and stayed at Nan’s for a while, and that made me think just how big it is, that cottage is so nice, in such a good location, with an awesome garden. And I looked around, and realized that the amount of space used up on bullshit is scary, my Nan has a load of shit around the house, as it is, every week she scrats around car-boot sales for more shit. Most people take the stance of quality over quantity, and to be fair she has a lot of shit, but I wouldn’t prioritize in either, I’m getting like Paul I suppose. She has twenty-one mirrors, in her house, including five in one room, now, I know I’m basically inflicting my beliefs on personality onto this, but I think that as it’s my blog I should, I’ll tell you what I see as wrong, as what I’d do, now these aren’t the kind of things I would say, but I can think them, or blog them. Why-ever my Nan needed to have the conservatory extension built I do not know, given that the house is already huge. Right then, I’m gonna visualize the room, and work out what could be eradicated.

I walk through the front door, there’s two plant bowls, quite tall. Eradicate. In the toilet, minimalize to one mirror, get rid of huge bath/shower thing, get rid of stupid stickers. Get rid of rugs around toilet. Empty out cabinets above sink, and put all of the bullshit around the sink into the cabinet, or chuck rest away. Go into Kitchen, okay there’s a million of those mug-face things here, get rid of them, get rid of the pots and pans, hanging everywhere, there’s hundreds of them, get rid of the herbal condiments, and tins. Conservatory, loads of hanging shit, rid it, or put it into that empty cabinets, mainroom and backroom, there’s a few cabinets doing absolutely nothing, ornamental shit and mugs must go too, same applies upstairs. Especially with clothes, there’s a lot of wardrobes, holding deadwood, rid it. We don’t won’t dead clothes, especially when it can be bought cheap. Now there’s the question of chairs, there’s a million of them, but I have no problem with that, I see this house as being a HQ where a load of us, live together. It’s big enough for a lot of people, in its hey-day I think it had 6 people living there, and I think it’s doing a major disservice to the house, to not be able to facilitate that anymore. So we want to keep the many sitting rooms, I see the backroom becoming a bedroom for two or three, people whilst, another bed could be on the landing, meanwhile, the main room could become a proper room, somewhere where the real men, like to do there business, watch telly, be men. Talk about things, whilst the conservatory, of all rooms, becomes the sitting room, where the mainroom was, as having several sitting/dining rooms is silly. Reminds me of Grimmauld Plaice, an old house, and speaking of that, I feel tempted to watch the Harry Potter movies, as I feel that I’m in a position where I can like them, now, I feel that as you learn you become more and more level headed, the extreme people haven’t learnt everything yet, despite the fact that the extreme people see you, in the neutral position as unlearnt, unbeknownst that you have considered it all, although in the past, I have gone back to extreme beliefs, as growing to neutral, as there are some things in the world, I just don’t like to accept like celebrity culture, conformity and a few other things. Its 13:08 gonna have some dinner, must finish this blog today. 13:43, I am back. 13:46, now that I have a boost bar and the Wombats playing, but my point was that if Nan wanted us to do her drive, the man-hour was the equal to 42 years of her cutting the lawn, then why doesn’t she sort out the things she can? Although they’re not flaws in her eyes are they? Back home, fiddled with my laptop, talked, got excited that not only was I going to tea, but I was going to Joe’s after, for his little party. Even though it was more of a mini-party. Tea, at the Harvester was interesting, the day went so fast it was surreal, and Mom was really happy which is good, two meals out in one day, that’s crazy. Had a pasta, good old vegetarian, everyone questioned it, and we talked and it was great again (particularly the talk about vegetarianism which turned into global altruism, with my granddad,) and then my Dad whisked me off to Joe’s before they all went, although I never got to say bye, and goodnight to my Mom, as it was her birthday, I felt kind of guilty, about it all, but I was ready to go... Its 13:55 will continue later. Been to wherever, I’ll explain in a later blog, as I need to get this past over with, first. Well it’s 18:35, and it was 17:55, but I’ve had my vegetarian barbeque, which was lush, anyway, I’m sick of doing this blog, I left it too long anyway, I better make some progress, so I arrived, in Adam attire, and chewing gum (I realized that I like Cider much more if I’ve been chewing before, although that’s fine as I’m always wanting a fresh breathe, for the party. It started pretty well, Joe was mixing drinks and things, so I went into the living room with Grace, Katie and Emma, and talked for a bit. I’m happy with myself as a human if I’m honest, it wasn’t awkward, I don’t know Emma that well, but I got on with them well, and it was cool. Talked about vegetarianism and the motives and my book, and then Joe came in, but didn’t talk much at first, I cracked open a can of Strongbows, and drank it pretty slowly, I expected more people to come, but only JJ and Tom came. Which made it more of a gathering, than a party, but in a way I prefer that. The palaver was good, and probably improved when Tom and JJ came, gradually. And as more alcohol was needed we took a walk down to the Wine Shop, Jon, Joe’s bro bought the booze, which was WKD and other spirit-based stuff, good for getting pissed quick and dying, but as later circumstances show not the best beverage for the weak, I’ll stick with Cider any day. Anyway got back time flew, Joe was getting with Katie, Tom was getting with Emily, JJ was left out cause I was getting with Grace. Now I don’t like to see alcohol as only a catalyst towards things, I don’t like how Tom pretty much uses alcohol for confidence so that he can try and get with as many girls as he can. It’s like he sees love as a conquest, I dunno with Grace, I didn’t get far, because I don’t know if I want to, I’m not gonna do something I’m gonna regret, if I want a relationship I’ll commit — I won’t conquest and then try my best to cover myself up. Although alcohol was good for my confidence in that respect, I wasn’t doing anything for the sake of it. Peer-pressure and shit like that doesn’t affect me, and I’ll be honest I didn’t get far with her, yes there was a fair bit of physical contact, but nothing that I really counts. I used a few tricks I learnt on the internet, mixed with my personality, which I think is interesting enough, and I’m happy with how the night went, it wasn’t ever really about that in the first place it was about having a laugh. And I’ll be honest there were many stand-out moments that certainly made me, laugh, I’ll just mention one, now, as the other might as well be told in chronological order, I must admit I was actually crying with laughter, when Joe shoved three slices of cake into JJ’s face, and he didn’t even react that was awesome. I also enjoyed my drunken game of football in Joe’s garden, in which I could barely stand up. After Tom was bragging about all of these girls, he’d pulled, and had on the go, I think (I think) I used his phone and texted a few dirty messages to his dad, which given what happened later was insult to injury. It was also enjoyable when JJ said to me in Joe’s kitchen ‘take a seat’, (he would never talk like that sober,) and then told me how the world runs on love and how Cactus’s have a great sex drive, and some other random philosophical matters, we then went back in, more laughs, more love. And then the turning point of the night, Tom reached a zenith in his drunkenhood, and had to be taken upstairs, although this was during our ‘man-to-man’, I thought nothing of it, he was like that at the prom, but worse, the fact that he kept on shouting ‘I fingered a scouse’, was amusing, but I didn’t like how he kept on listing all of the girls he’d got with, especially as my cousin, Simone, kept on coming up into the conversation, although this one was never confirmed, anyway, around ten minutes later, JJ was sick, and that’s when things got a little off-colour, he was in the doorway, me and Grace were enjoying each others company, deep-eye contact, then she pointed, and a noise. Vomit being spewed. Like in the movies, with the odd, intervention, but much sicker. Anyway, pretty much after that the girls went, (Grace wasn’t staying, but the others were,) Jon, Joe’s brother who is pretty sound got pretty pissed off as it was his responsibility to look after us. So it was up to the three of us, to clean up the vomit spewed up the floor and walls from JJ, and calm him down. This consisted of me, sitting by JJ, talking to him, trying to make him feel better, force-feeding him water, and holding a bucket underneath him. It then emerged that Tom, in Joe’s bed, was sick everywhere, and had fallen out of his bed, thing is, Joe was okay, sick, talking shit, but Tom was pretty much KO’d. Time passed, we cleaned up, cursed, I helped out, Jon gave me the kind of gratitude, that the brothers friend accepts, and should secretly feel good about, but not take it too seriously, its necessary. Joe Junior, a friend, seems to think it’s a real compliment, but I’ve always got the impression that he’s been social malnourished despite my attempts to help him. JJ was sick some more, sitting outside Joe’s house, more watery, less meaty this time, same with Tom pretty much, I spent a while ringing both of their homes, parents mobiles, neither answered, the fuckers. Eventually, Tom’s mom was on the phone, very solemn, the whore. Now, I know this sounds unjustified, given everything, but I’ll explain in a second. Arrived quite slowly, angry, quiet, we’ve waken her early into the morning, around 3am, I am led to believe, she tipped water on her, and even got him to move, something we were unable to do for a long time. And then dragged, him into a chair, and together we picked Tom up, I kinda got his right sleeve, leg and buttock, I loved the texture of vomit I got from him, and then I smelt something, and there was a sudden bulge in his boxers (his jeans disappeared,) and all I’m saying on that matter is that it was a shit night for Tom’s boxers, and that, my friend is a great pun, Joe made it up, and we both put it as our MSN screen names. So with a stinky Tom out the way, we only had to get rid of JJ, we ended up needing a taxi, despite his garbled attempts at walking home ‘I’ll drink down Worcester Road’, I hope he meant walk. He also managed to turn his white plimsolls, a stark orange, thanks to the innovation of vomit. This also managed to encompass the bulk of my socks, so I decided to dispose of them. We ridded him, and after more cleaning, a cursed talk at how they ruined the night, and we played a fun game of PES, and we had awesome palaver for a while, and then we took the mattress into Joe’s parents room, as sleeping in Joe’s vomit-struck room wasn’t appealing, and so I slept on the floor, on the mattress, in my sleeping bag. With the radio on, we talked some more, about Joe’s chances with Katie, I shrugged off what he said about me and Grace, and it was incredible, babies don’t sleep like this, although 4 cans of Cider, after a big of mellowing doesn’t even give you a hangover, headache, or any bad sleep, like I had with the prom-after party. Lots of people told me I drank more than I thought I did, I didn’t believe them, but now I do, as I drank the same at Joe’s and was fine, whilst at the afterparty I felt terrible and the next few days was blur.

REACTION AND AFTER-AFTER THOUGHTS LATER.