And I'm not all that certain how to deal with it. She's 18 and change, pregnant for 5 months. I love her to bits and pieces, but she just now told me. When she called me. Asking for money. It's not much, just 34 is all I have on me, but I'm worried about what she's going to do. She doesn't seem that healthy. She'll come over in a few to pick it up, and depending on how she looks I'll toss some food...

So I've been thinking a little too much lately. I need to do things in order to create a domino affect that will, undoubtedly, lead nowhere. What do I want to do with my life? We've been taking video footage of my grandparents. I've got some good frames so eventually something will come of that. I just wish I was using Adobe 3.0 instead of whatever crap vista editing software I've working with now...

I taste like vinegar when I wake up. I feel like drowned cigarette butts. It's too early in the morning to deal with the afternoon. I think I am too much of who I am. It was only an hour ago.

Nerds usually harness their obsessive knowledge mongering, to a useful end, like improving technology or making money, Geeks, though, they pour an endless fascination with the world into purposefully constricting channels like collecting records or learning Klingon or building an HO scale model of 1920's New York with toothpicks. Dorks have nothing in common with them other then social ineptitude...

It happened again today. I went to sleep at 6:47. I had eaten a package of ramen. When I woke up, I had a headache and my stomach felt like dead cigarettes and rotten strawberries. I could taste the ashes. I am getting drunk and not knowing it! How do I stop this phenomena?

I was looking through a folder I had when I worked with Stewart. Stewart was amazing. He led Ace Theatre, it's where I had my first starring role and had so much fun, over some summer or another. I miss Stewart. He moved to New York or somewhere to make it big. I don't think he managed to do it. I hung out with him for as many summers as I possibly could. My last play with him was in fourth grade,...

Couldn't we be fantasy characters? Cause that'd be awesome. We'd be all "Pew Pew Pew" with our laser eyeballs that fly around and then we'd just laugh and laugh until we fell down, and then we'd still laugh, because that's what people in fantasies do, right? We should totally do that.

So. Problem 1: I'm over problem one. If he liked her, fine, but he is dating me now, so I'm just over that. Seriously, I went out on a date with a guy while I was away. Why the hell wouldn't he? Problem 2: Still differing, but it's ok. I think I was just having cold feet and I'm pretty ok now. It's good. Problem 3: We'll see how long we last and how well it works out. Not worring about it. Problem...

As a first kiss...that was pathetic. And how was it slobbery when it was a closed mouth?! eewwww saliva.....

So. At like 11 tonight (last night?), Sven texts me. We have just seen each other for the first time in a very long time, and he's super excited. Before I got on the bus today, he kissed my forehead and told me he had missed me a whole lot. Ok...I missed him too. I kinda like him. Well, more then kinda. I do like him. He's sweet, got personality, is funny, speaks german (so crazy brownie points there...