Inspired by a friend of mine, I took the plunge and signed up on lavalife, posting a picture and filling out a profile. Before I could even finish my profile, I had a couple of email and a few IMs. This is a boost of the old confidence. I even took the leap and smiled back at one of the email people because he got the Lue Read thing. "Lou, Lou, Lou. It's the beginning of a great adventure."

Even though I was willing to bet money on it, I'm still pissed that my sister forgot my birthday. It's not like she couldn't take two minutes, turn on the computer and send me a message via facebook.

I just calculated that I have spent $93.76 on baking supplies. This does not include items that I already have at home, like vanilla, almond extract, cashews, milk chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate, chocolate chips (chunks actually), pistachios, dried cherries, and pecans. Anyone that thinks baking gifts for people is an inexpensive way to go has clearly not done the math.

After spending more money that I meant to whist in Seattle, I am trying to curtail indulgent personal purchases. It's hard, however, to resist when you get an email from Sephora about the vanilla bubble bath birthday gift that I can only redeem if I make an on-line purchase. I haven't bought anything ... yet. I'm also struggling with figuring out how give Christmas presents without spending a lot...

I may just keep the message on my answering machine that Goalie Joe left me this morning. That way I could listen to her singing the birthday song to me whenever I want.

To prevent myself from slipping into a holiday funk/depression, I've decided to try something different this year. Rather than opt out of the season, I'm going to try and embrace it.

Update from last post: Today I successfully procured crochet cotton to make Goalie Joe a table runner and some embroidery floss to work on another cross-stitch project. I also pulled my sewing machine from the back of the linen closet and prepared a piece of 18-count aida for stitching. Now I just need to figure out what project to start first as I try to reclaim myself.

Over the past few months I have come to the realization that I have stopped doing a number of things that I used to enjoy: crocheting, drawing, and painting. I figure that there are more parts of me that have become buried underneath the sludge of bitterness that has come years of being a functional depressive. I know that I'm still not living at capacity and am trying to get there without changing...

The US has a telecast of the American Music Awards. We have a telecast of the Scotia Bank Giller Prize. Hmm. What does that say about us? I'm currently reading this year's Giller Prize winner: Through Black Spruce , by Joseph Boyden. I bought the book before the short list was announced as I loved his first novel, Three Day Road . In his latest book an comatose Cree gentleman, Will Bird, "thinks"...

I just realized that my bed isn't going to be turned down for me tonight. And I won't be getting any chocolate on my pillow. I'm kind of saddened by this thought.