Ianto Jones was a skeptical man.
He had seen, in all of his 25 long and full of twists and turns years of life, amazing things. Huge things. He had saved the world, he had seen it nearly end, he had met aliens and become part of a secret organization. Outside the government, beyond the police, like Jack would say.
Most people would spend all their lives waiting to see something amazing happen, and Ianto Jones lived it on a daily basis. Amazing was routine.
And yet, he was skeptical.
As he sat down next to Miss Martha Jones, inside the police cabin called the TARDIS, and had a perfectly nice human conversation, he started to think fish men with guns were so cliché it was actually comic. He was dead scared at first, not sure if a man whose name was Doctor was reliable enough. And yet, he was inside his spaceship slash time machine with not too many options ahead. So all left to him was trust.
Trust a man with no last name and his beautiful companion to take him home.
This was, definitely, a lot better than Star Trek reruns. It was Star Trek, but live.
He had seen and met aliens before. An extensive range of alien sorts, actually. Ianto realized, however, that, for the first time, he was taking a ride with one of them. He had not only been in other planet, but he was inside a spaceship.
That was amazing. Not just regular amazing, but truly and out the ordinary amazing.
Ianto, you see, was a skeptical man. His life, it didn't matter how great, was a lie. No one could ever know of it. No one would ever even believe it. He barely existed. And while other members of the Torchwood team tried to find their own ways of having parallel lives, he opted not to.
It was a fair deal. Fine by him.
Ianto was a man of great causes. He could, at any time, sacrifice himself for a greater good. His life, his time, his patience and his espresso preparing skills. And a man of great causes needed motivation.
And Torchwood gave him motivation.
He didn't really care if that meant a lifetime in shadow and never getting credit for any of his personal sacrifices. All he needed was a reason.
It wasn't about altruism at all. It was about him, and his life, and how he felt about it.
How he felt for Lisa, and how she was his entire life; his present, and his future. And he loved her. Love was the greatest motivation anyone could ever have in life. Not that he was the sentimental type, far from that. But being in love meant fire and passion, meant strength and meant giving. For a cause. His own greater cause.
He could die for other people's greater causes. But he could kill for his own.
And Lisa died, or at least the cyberman she had become, then all his plans for a lifetime died with her. He died a bit with her. Twice. And Ianto lost his reason.
For months he could pretend that his girlfriend was long deceased. He could pretend he was not aching, and that his body and soul were not being torned apart. He could pretend to the others there was nothing in the basement, and he could pretend to himself he had no feelings for his boss whatsoever. But he could not pretend he still knew how to go on without a cause.
For Ianto Jones was a man of great causes.
While sitting on the roof of his flat, with a can of beer on his left hand, and the weight of the world on his shoulders, he swore to himself to never let something take over him like Lisa had. He would never feel as empty and lost was he was, he would never wish to have the guts to just jump, ever again.
It was brutal to have everything he cared for ripped away from him like that.
Except it wasn't everything he cared, even if he tried to deny it.
He had an objective when he joined Torchwood Three. He loved Lisa, and it was about him. But it was about him, for her.
He learned to care for Torchwood, for the team, for it's causes. For Jack. Mostly, for Jack. He didn't expect Jack to care for him any more than he cared for any of the others, with the difference they were sleeping together, most for Ianto's desperation as he realized, with the passage of the days and the nights he spent in the company of his boss of so many attributes, he was leaving Lisa and his original goal behind.
He did not deserve forgiveness, and yet he received it. The compassion bothered him at some point, but still, he had to live with it, after everything he did, it was fair enough. Now he had a different meaning in his life. He had Torchwood, and it's causes. And he had Jack, and whatever he meant.
So, he never charged anything from the Captain. He never made demands. He just accepted him for whoever he was, and what he could offer. Ianto admired the man, in so many levels it was hard to describe. So while most people could not take a no for an answer, or would persistently expect a wedding ring or endless devotion promises, Ianto just accepted. Accepted Captain Jack Harkness for who he was, fake name, mysterious past, immortality and everything. For that was who Jack was. Not more, not less. Mystery was part of him. Uncertainty was all they could expect. Mix it with a nice coat and a perfect jaw line, and there you had it. Stunning and perfect, in all the wrong ways.
Ianto got it. The others, not quite.
There was no need to speak aloud that he loved Jack. But he did. Tried his best not to, resisted for as long as he could. But eventually it got him.
And there was nothing wrong with being in love.
Except he did not wish for that kind of love anymore.
There was nothing wrong with have meanings, motivations and reasons. There was nothing wrong with having a cause. A personal cause, that led him to do things for others without asking for nothing in return.
Except he did not want to be reduced to a cause. He did not want to be someone who only lived for others.
And he realized it as soon as he returned to Cardiff, with the Doctor and Martha Jones.
It turned out their way back took a lot more than it should've. Four months more, to be exact. Time enough for him to see amazing things, and to do amazing things. He saw the kinds of things the right kind of doctor, and only him, could heal. He saw him do his magic. He saw a lot of Torchwood in the Doctor, and wondered if it was just coincidence. Perhaps it was, in fact, a lot of the Doctor in Torchwood, and not the other way around. Jack's Torchwood.
But there was a fundamental difference between the life in Torchwood, and the life in the TARDIS. In Torchwood, it was a lie. At the TARDIS, it was real.
Not that the Doctor didn't do his own share of covering up. He wandered through Earth very frequently, the place where his life did not exist and he was nobody but a weirdo with no last name. But he wasn't limited to that. He had the whole universe ahead of him.
And there was just so many things out there that Ianto didn't know.
He had four amazing months at the TARDIS, learning things he never thought he'd learn. Doing things he never thought he'd do. And that gave the Welshman a completely new horizon.
"Home sweet home." the Doctor spoke, as he stepped out of the TARDIS to breathe Cardiff's air.
"What time is this?" Ianto asked, joining him, hands stuffed in his trousers' pockets. The Welshman took a deep breath, and a look around his homeland.
"About five months after you left. Sorry about the month delay. "
"If feels more like five years." he whispered back, mouthing out his thoughts. It did feel like a lifetime since he had last been in Cardiff. So much he almost could not believe it.
"Good five months." the Doctor spoke, turning around to face the boy he collected from a prison in Betazima. Ianto gave him a soft smile. A remarkable boy, indeed. An amazing partner.
Ianto's smile was the same as always, he was standing right in front of the Doctor. But his eyes were distant, his look was vague. Something was bothering him ever since the announcement they were finally heading back to Cardiff, taking Ianto back to his own timeline.
"Sorry it took so long." the Doctor said.
Ianto widened his smile.
"I'm sorry it took so little."
The Doctor knew exactly what was bothering him. The same thing that bothered everyone who stepped into the TARDIS for the first time. It was alive, and it enchained the hearts of those who spent some time in it. It was just too hard to leave.
"You know..." he started, after a brief moment of thought. "You could come with us. If you'd like."
The smile Ianto held on his face immediately faded as his expression became serious. The Doctor should not have said that.
He could not.
"I think you should go tell them you're here." they heard a third voice, as Martha joined them outside. She had been watching the two men, standing in there like avoiding to say goodbye, pretending they didn't have to.
"Five months is a long time. You should let them know you're fine. You know, before you... decide." she completed.
Ianto stared at her, vaguely. He heard what she said, but his mind was wandering somewhere else.
"She's right." the Doctor agreed, stuffing his hands on his pockets, and turning his face to Ianto once more. He was trying to be as comprehensive as he could, but time was something that lacked him. The TARDIS did need some rest, though. And he supposed they could wait a bit.
Ianto stared at him, confusion all over.
"It's fine, you go see them. We'll wait. But not too much. So if you decide you want to go... Don't be late." and he gave Ianto one of his best captivating smile. No other thing to return than another smile. The man could be the scariest and the most lovely creature in the universe, as he pleased.
Just one of the many amazing things about the Doctor.
"Alright." the Welshman answered, with a sigh. He then gave Martha a small smile, before turning around and start walking towards the Torchwood hub, on very slow steps.
Martha exchanged glances with the Doctor. She knew exactly how he felt. Torned between where his heart wanted him to be, and where his head said he should. She felt just the same way. But Martha Jones had made her decision already. She had to. It was about time. And her decision was depending only on Ianto's.
Like him, she could not know, though, if she did want him to get back, or not.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
He did not have much time. But he was also not ready to go back, just yet. Ianto decided, while walking through the docks, time would make the decision for him. If the time he needed to get back was enough, it was enough. If not, then so be it. He just had to be ready. For leaving, or for staying. And, right there, he was ready for neither.
He sat down on a bench, strategically positioned for lovebirds to sit down and watch the sunset over the docks. It occurred to him that he used to pass there very frequently, and had never seen anyone sitting on that bench. Maybe he was the first one. There was no sunset, nor lovebirds, though. It was a day in Cardiff, just like he remembered. Grey clouds on the sky, the smell of the rain constantly tormenting the people with a promise of coming down.
He did love Cardiff. It just suited him, perfectly. He missed it, even. But whenever he closed his eyes, all he saw was the universe out there. Things his rich creative imagination could not picture even though his days at Torchwood were directly connected to it. It was one thing to hear about it. It was a completely different one to be there. It changed a person.
It changed him.
For longer than he could remember, it had become about Torchwood. On behalf of the human race, like Jack would say. Jack and his silly effect slogans. Though Ianto was the one who liked to name things around, really.
It was, anyway, a great purpose, not to complain there. He did like his job. very much. But every once in a while, he felt like bursting out. He just wanted to get on the rooftop of his building and shout. Shout until his lungs could not stand, and his throat started to bleed.
And he questioned himself, while considering how weird or suicidal would it be to actually do that, if it was a normal feeling. He had great times with Tosh, and Owen, and even Gwen. But he never had the guts to ask any of them if they felt the same way. Gwen obviously didn’t. She had her escape valve. Rhys. Owen... Well, Owen was way too busy fucking his brains out to even think. There were times he thought Tosh might have felt the same as him, when he watched her, all silent and thoughtful. She was the closest one to him, maybe it meant something. But Ianto was afraid they would think he was nuts, or that he could go on and do something like hiding a cyberman on the basement again. Though, he knew, they forgot about Lisa long before he could close his eyes and not see her face anymore.
And then there was Jack. Jack was a busy, required man. He had lots to worry about, his own personal problems and damages, things he did not share with any of them. Ianto wondered, so many times, how hard it was for Jack to live with centuries of memories and struggles, and not share it with anyone. Because even if he did, sooner or later, he would have to start over. Everyone passed, and Jack always remained. The things he had not lost, the people he must have missed... Jack’s eternal life was not as easy as his smile and arrogant attitude suggested. And Ianto was now certain of that, after finding out that all he wanted was to die.
Dieing was a hard thing to face for most people. For others, it meant peace, and rest. Ianto had no opinion on dieing. If he had to, he would, no complaints there. He hated to see others part, though. It was what made life unbearable at times. The losses. And the way he felt when his mother died, when Lisa died... Jack must have felt this way hundreds of times.
He was a strong man. Determined, and committed to his duties. Most of it, at least. Ianto admired him.
Ianto loved him. He wondered if it was something about the fifty first century pheromones or something. Jack seemed to have lovers and crushes everywhere. He was an extremely attractive specimen, indeed. And he was American. Or at least his accent said so. His attitude did the same. That goddamn American presumption that made Jack irresistible. But Ianto went deeper than that.
He wasn’t an easy one to fall in love. It took Jack a lot to get to him, but he did.
And even so, he could never tell Jack about how he truly felt. Not about Torchwood, not about him, not about anything. After the terrible events with Lisa’s cyber body, Jack started to look at him more closely. Never once he had asked Ianto how his day had been, or how he had slept at night. It got to his boss that he was just screwing the tea boy, and that was a bit cruel, even for someone like Jack. Not that Ianto cared, back then. All he wanted to be unnoticed. But Ianto was aching and feeling like his body was burning from the inside out, and no one could see it. Jack just wanted to screw him, even if his careless behavior got him puzzled.
Ianto thought they would never get together again. But they did. And it was different. Jack was different. Even he was different.
Certain things, however, never changed.
Whenever he felt like about to explode, he would go home earlier and spend the night in the company of his finest bottle of scotch. Until he passed out. And whenever he thought his entire life was confined into Torchwood’s hidden metal walls, he would feel like exploding.
It was feelings not even he could quite understand, for he liked his job. But maybe his job did not like him that much.
Or maybe it was Him.
He was destined to live in the shadows of Torchwood, probably die in the shadows of Torchwood. Picturing a life after Torchwood was way too hard. He would’ve spent years confined into a hub, sending aliens back to they’re home planet and saving the city from a time-space collapse. No time for making friends, or plans, or getting a family.
Only for Jack. Because Jack was right there, and he knew about the whole thing. He was the whole thing, for fuck’s sake. And it was comforting to sit down and just listen to his stories, or talk about the rift and the things Jack knew of it that Ianto didn’t. About Torchwood and it’s secrets. About the others. Every once in a while, Ianto would tell him about things he never had, like kindergarten or soccer practices. Small aspects of a regular twenty-first century human being that Jack never experienced.
Most of the time, he loved being around Jack. They had amazing times.
And he loved the man. But how fucked up was it to be in love with Jack Harkness?
Sometimes, it nearly drove him mad.
Jack was inconstant, and beyond any relationship. They didn’t have a relationship. Or at least Ianto wouldn't classify it as one. It meant something, to him. Sometimes he thought it meant something to Jack as well. Some other times, however, it appeared to be just ordinary bedtime.
Jack was there, and then he wasn’t. No goodbyes said, no regrets. He had to live with the idea that someday, Jack could just be gone forever.
Jack was illegible, and Ianto could never really tell what he had on his thoughts. Except when it had anything to do with sex, then he would just make it very carefully clear. But the Welshman had the feeling that, any time, Jack could just show up at the Hub with a guy or a girl, and announce he was getting married. He was illegible like that, and never ceased to amaze.
Jack was amazing. With his delightful laughter, his beautiful and penetrating blue eyes, perfectly designed jaw line and the confidence of a god. Simply and utterly amazing.
And it drove Ianto mad. Because he was in love with a man who could offer nothing but his time. Great time. But, nevertheless, just time. Ianto was doomed to loose him, like he lost Lisa. Sooner or later, Jack would be gone. Just like that. There was always a possibility, while in Torchwood, that he would go first. To the dead world, that is.
Jack would just ride a star away from Earth.
And Ianto could understand that. It suited Jack, and it probably made him even more remarkable.
Being in love with Jack Harkness had a high price. He was never quite sure where he stood in the man’s life. He was never quite sure he was the only one. Never quite sure he’d be back, every time he left the Hub.
And it was one of the reasons that made him feel like screaming his heart out. Like that would put his thoughts in order, and avoid an explosion.
Someday, he would explode.
And right now, he was running out of time. He stuffed his hand on his jacket’s pocket, and took out his watch. He had been sitting on the lovebird's bench for almost an hour now. He had been away for so long, and not thought of his need for screaming or his old bottle of scotch for such a long time, he had almost forgotten. But not quite.
It was all back now, with the smell of the rain and the sound of the sea. It was him, his life, who he was. And it hurt.
No one knew Ianto was hurting, constantly hurting. He was a grown man, not one of those to be crying around the corners, or going to useless therapy sessions - even if he did, probabilities were the therapist would think he was mad, other than depressed. He wasn’t depressed, really. Did not want anyone to pity him.
He wasn’t quite sure what he needed, though. And even if he liked his job, even if he fought for a great cause, even if he was in love, there was something quite missing.
And Ianto had the feeling it was not in Cardiff he was about to find it.
And maybe he could’ve kept going on like that forever. Going to bed and waking up with a sack on his stomach, feeling like waking the whole city with nothing but the potency of his voice every once in a while, and going mad with Jack’s inconstancy, bed abilities and amazing nature.
But he had, by chance, been cruelly introduced to something else. And it was calling for him.
Time was all Jack had to give him. Time was something he used to like to mess around with, and feel powerful by doing so. Time was what his watch showed him he did not have.
And time was something he had learned he would never quite figure out. It wasn’t about the pointers of he minutes and the hours, nor about days, or months, or years. Time was something completely different. And powerful.
His watch could be completely wrong, as far as he was concerned. His concepts of time were turned upside down once he stepped into the TARDIS. And not seeing a purpose on the turns of the pointers on his watch meant a lot to Ianto Jones.
So he took a deep breath, feeling the Cardiff air fill his lungs, slowly. It was time to go.
He completed the way to the hub, trying to realize, exactly, what the hell it meant. He knew perfectly well that if Jack asked him to stay, then he would. Not think twice. But what if he didn’t?
What if Jack didn’t care?
What did he really want?
Ianto cursed himself, mentally, feeling like a stupid schoolgirl. He could stop in front of the whole team and have absolutely no idea what to say.
He saw, finally, the little wooden door to the office he used to occupy, pretending to be a useless receptionist. He had told Jack they didn’t really need an office. He could just lock the door, and not let anyone in. But he insisted that was way cooler having an undercover tourism agency.
Fine by him, as long as he got paid.
He remembered, suddenly, a one time he told Jack about how he wished he was brave enough to jump from his flat’s rooftop, when Lisa woke up on the hub‘s basement. He was brave enough to die, but not to kill himself. Jack got mad at him. “That’s not being brave, that’s being a stupid coward. If it was for you to kill yourself, I would’ve done it with my gun. Don’t you ever dare to leave, Ianto Jones, before I say you can” the man had said. His words still rang on Ianto’s mind every now and then, powerful.
He wondered if he still felt like that. For all that mattered, he had left without permission. Not his fault, though.
When almost reaching the door, he heard noises. Like voices, coming from inside. Ianto stopped, and waited. There was laughter. And the voices were getting louder. Voices he would recognize in this, or any other planet.
They were coming out.
Two seconds that lasted 2 thousand years. He froze, and considered his possibilities. He could stay, and greet them. Or he could hide.
And instinctively, he hid. He jumped to his side, and hid behind some containers piled around. It wasn’t something he had time to command, really. The thought of greeting them was discarded just as soon as it came up. He could not be seen.
He saw, however, when they got out. Laughing. First was Owen, hands stuffed in his pockets, smiling. Then Tosh, looking adorable with her cheeks blushed, probably from the laughter as well, since she had a pretty smile across her lips. Then Gwen, this one not making any efforts in controlling her laughs. She had one hand at her stomach, her cheeks were trailed by tears. That must have been a hell of a joke.
And last, but never least, there was Jack. Looking stunning as always, in his military coat, with his irritant perfect teeth showing. He locked the door behind him, and followed the others, to the SUV. Ianto watched as they left, Jack saying something about dropping them at home but expecting to be paid back with sex favors later.
Ianto smiled. Softly, and truthfully. He felt no need to interrupt their moment of happiness with his presence. They seemed so fine he wanted to take a photo and put it on a frame.
Just as the SUV disappeared from his sight, he turned to the small wooden door again. He still remembered the code to open the door, still remembered where was the button to unlock the stairs. But, more importantly, he still remembered where he hid the spare keys.
When the heavy metal rounded doors opened and he heard the sound of the pterodactyl, he smiled again. His home. Everything seemed to be exactly how he left. It smelled the same way. It felt the same way. Like he was back months ago, warning Gwen about the dangers of getting him away from his TV without a good reason on his day off.
God, he missed this place.
He needed to feel the cool metal of the walls on his hands. The smell of old pizza from the not entirely consumed boxes they always left on the table, despite his threats of stuffing their pants with the rests if they continued to leave old food and trash around. He was the one who cleaned it up in the morning.
It never worked.
As bad mannered as always. He loved them, but he did not miss that, though it felt home.
He walked to his favorite chair, and threw himself at it. It was warm, which meant someone had been sitting on it just a few moments ago. Ianto slumped against it, trying to guess who it was. When he spotted a piece of cheese on the ground right beside it, he had no doubt: Gwen.
She was not careful with those things. Like a little guy, sometimes. A guy with good perfume and nice breasts, but a little guy.
He stretched out his lips into another tender smile. And then he spotted what was his favorite thing in the whole universe.
Ianto jumped to his feet and walked to it. The coffee machine. His precious, precious, baby. “I missed you the most, Bridget” he spoke, softly, to the machine. His loyal companion, never letting him down.
Coffee, he realized, was probably the reason other races wanted so badly to take over the Earth. He could see their point. A life without coffee was way too harsh. Would not wish that on anybody.
He fucking needed a cup of coffee.
Started working his magic on Bridget, no one could operate and touch her like he could. It was a gift, really. Not just about practice. And Ianto was proud of that.
When he could feel the smell of the coffee in the air, he searched for the mugs. The machine had a compartment for keeping the mugs, that’s how good Bridget was. Each one of them had they’re own mug. Ianto’s was special. He could swear it made the coffee taste better. His coffee, of course.
Tosh’s mug was there. Owen’s mug was there. Gwen’s mug was there, rest of old coffee still inside of it. Jack’s overestimated arrogant mug was there.
But his mug wasn’t.
And then it hit him that he had not been there for five whole months. He had not touched Bridget, or the walls, or fed the pterodactyl or sat on his chair, for five months. He had not laughed of jokes with the others, he had not taken a ride home, and had not returned the services with sex favors.
And his mug was not freaking there.
They were a team of four now. Not five.
Teams of four only had four mugs.
Before he could realize how bothered he actually was, he saw through the monitoring computer screen the SUV parking outside. Jack was back already.
He could stay, and demand explanations about his missing mug. Or he could run, and get the hell out of there before Jack had the chance to see him.
Instinctively again, he ran away. He locked the metal doors with the code, he pushed the button to lock the stairs door, and he closed the wooden door with his key. No time to hide it again, though. Ianto ran to hide behind the containers. He saw as Jack came, walking slowly, towards the Hub.
God, he missed Jack.
He missed every goddamn thing about Jack. All it took him was a look at the other man, and he was pretty much reassured of how, precisely, he felt about his boss.
When the instincts that got him to hide, twice, were almost sending him out of his corner, he saw Gwen coming from behind, and jumping on his back. Jack bent over, being caught by surprise, and then put her down again, smiling shyly.
“Oh, come on!” Gwen said, speeding her steps to take the front. She was now in front of Jack, walking backwards in direction of the entrance.
“You should’ve gone home, Gwen, To your fiancé.” He said, giving emphasis to the last word.
“I don’t want to.”
“But you should.”
“You said you wanted sex favors in return of the ride.” and she smirked. Ianto felt nearly affronted by that smirk.
“You did not get a ride, you’re still here.”
“I can return the favor on behalf of the others.”
Jack sighed, and smiled again. That annoyingly perfect smile.
“You really shouldn’t be here.”
“How many times am I gonna have to say you’re not doing anything illegal if you have my consent?” and her back hit the door to the office. She smirked again, and stretched her arms to grab hold of Jack’s coat.
Ianto loved that coat.
And then Gwen pulled him into a kiss. Right there, boldly in front of him. Except she didn’t know he was there. No one did. And Ianto had, right before his eyes, the last of his reasons.
He wanted answers. Well... He got answers.
And could not stand seeing Jack return someone else’s passionate kiss.
Ianto turned around and started to walk way. Faster, and faster, until he was running. He felt the cold breeze on his face, making his eyes water. It occurred to him, while running with no direction, that Gwen had stolen his mug.
Before he could realize, he was standing in front of the TARDIS once more. Ianto took his watch from his pocket, and checked the useless pointers. Two hours, and he still had time.
He needed a reason to go. When he made his way to the hub, all he really wanted was to find something that told him he get into that TARDIS, and go.
No pain, no gain.
He saw the key he had been squeezing hard on his hand since started running.
“It’s over with you” he said to the inanimate metal object, and threw it behind his back.
“I’m going with you” he said, determined, as he opened the door of the TARDIS to find the Doctor and Martha playing cards. He was exhausted, and his chest was still throbbing from the run, his eyes still watered from the wind. But he was firm, and determined. “I decided. I’m going.”
“Just like that?” the Doctor asked.
“No, not just like that. But like that.” he corrected. It wasn’t that simple. Actually, it wasn’t simple at all. But it was as straightforward and decided like that.
“...ok.” the Doctor agreed, a bit suspicious. He wasn’t really expecting Ianto to be back, at all. “I win.” he told Martha, giving her a triumphant smile and throwing his cards on the table.
Martha, however, had a serious look on her face. More than serious. She was... nervous?
“Martha, are you ok?” the Doctor asked, concerned.
“Yes.” she answered, getting up. “I have decided something myself.”
Ianto stepped closer, and the Doctor raised her a suspicious eyebrow.
“I decided to stay.” she announced, finally, with sorrow in her voice, as she looked from Ianto, to the Doctor.
“What?” her boss asked, not quite capturing what was going on. “When did you decide that?”
“A long time, actually. I need to be with my family. They’re not ok, since... Well... You know. They need me. And I decided that if Ianto came back, then I would stay. And so... I will stay.”
Ianto was desperate to yell at her, almost feeling guilty about separating her from the Doctor. Instead, he looked at the man who was supposed to say something to make her change her mind.
The Doctor, however, just stared at her, comprehensive and tenderly, in silence for a few seconds. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” she answered, with a smile, as her eyes watered.
“You’re just gonna let her go?” Ianto asked in disbelief.
“It’s alright, Ianto.” Martha told him, smiling, and approaching her not-so-new friend. “Really.”
“I don’t wanna be the reason why you’ll leave the Doctor.”
“You’re not. I had to do that, anyway. Sooner or later, I would. Now is the right time, though, because I know he’ll be in good hands. I decided that.”
“You are so unfair.” he protested.
Martha giggled, and gave him a hug. Ianto held her gently in his arms for a moment, placing a kiss in her head before letting her go.
“Good luck, Ianto Jones.” she told him, before turning to face the Doctor, who stared at her with a soft smile across his face.
Martha jumped on his arms, and let her tears fall. The Doctor just stroked her head, gently, as she whispered something in his ear. Ianto could not, and did not want to, understand. Whatever it was, it was personal and only they’re matter.
But leaving the Doctor was probably a very hard decision for her. Martha loved him, and that was no secret, to anyone. She was determined, and she knew what she had to do. Still, it did not make any of it easier.
And Ianto knew exactly how it felt. He was Martha.
She pulled away from the Doctor, and wiped her tears, giving them a smile again. She looked beautiful when she smiled.
“Don’t you dare disappear! This will not be the last time, Doctor.” she told him, and he gave her a nod.
It would most certainly not be the last time.
With a last deep sigh and another pretty smile, she turned around and left, before she changed her mind. Oh, Ianto knew how that felt... Martha was probably running right now.
A harsh silence fell upon them, as both men faced the closed door, like expecting it to open again at any second. But it wouldn’t. And they had to go.
“Where to now?” the Doctor finally asked, turning to face Ianto with a smile. “New companion.”
“Oh my God. I’m your new companion.” the Welshman answered in awe.
The Doctor arched him an eyebrow. “I suppose you are.”
“That is... so cool.”
The Doctor laughed, walking over to the TARDIS’ control panel. “Are you planning on giving me suggestions or am I free to decide? I usually let my companions make the choice, on their first ride as companion.”
“Surprise me.” he answered, with a smirk. “Just make sure you surprise me far away from Cardiff.”
“Alright, then. Off we go.”
The Doctor glanced at his companion, and smiled.
It was a new beginning.
Ianto Jones used to be a skeptical man. But not anymore.
Next chapter
