Another night of dancing, another night of feet getting more blisters, joints getting stiffer... Another year around the sun. The final song was a new one by VNV Nation, I remarked to the DJ how I cannot believe that it has been a decade since I first saw them live. 'But it's the memories that it creates', he replied. How true...
I'm in my last year of my 20's now, my birthday was this Saturday. And I'm finally not so afraid of aging. I still do what I love. I still feel relevant, needed, part of the world. And how would time ever change that?
/>I'm glad the current system is falling apart. I'm glad people are seeing through the cracks.
I watched a report on the 'new' America, and a woman commented that now that the illusion of money is being shattered, the elderly will be allowed to look old. Middle-aged will be allowed to look middle-aged.
Thank fucking God.
We all know that this youth worship, lamenting over passed time, value of surface 'sex appeal' over real beauty, leads to nothing but frustration and feelings of worthlessness. But as a culture we bought into it. And whatever the reasons, it was taken far too seriously for far too long.
And now I enter the second half of my Saturn return. And so does the society around me.
Much has been broken down over the past year. What we thought would bring us happiness was revealed to be nothing but a house of cards, waiting to collapse when we finally stopped holding our breath.
And yet with this destruction comes a new sense of what's real. We've always known it, of course. But it so easily becomes lost in the over growth. In too many commercials and worries and forced upon dreams. And as in nature, when the forest becomes overwhelmed with thickets of dead branches, the cleansing fire comes to destroy the unnecessary, allowing new life to thrive.

The next year of my life is going to be extremely hard.
I'm given the choice of whether I'm going to step up and do what I know I'm supposed to do, even though it will involve a lot of hard work, sacrifice, and confidence... or if I will try and take the easy route and skirt around the issue.

But on a lighter note, I feel like I have someone who will really support me in my corner.
My birthday was such a blast, many thanks to Daniel.
We went out for Absinthe brunch, which as we all know is one of my favourite things in the world to do. We had caviar and I melted away into Russian fairytale land. After cocktails, and perfectly cooked eggs and crab sandwiches, and more cocktails... I was pretty much the happiest girl around.
After brunch we headed to the Marina area. We walked by the docks where I was able to hear the familiar and memory inducing sound of wire tinging against metal masts. We sat on a bench and watched a crane prance across the small beach. We walked along the waters of the Palace of Fine Arts, marveling over the gorgeous weather. I was even able to feed the Mute Swans some clovers. I touched one on the forehead, and he grabbed my finger with his beak, haha. I'm so glad I got my tattoo, I will be forever connected to them.
I continued my girly princess theme by stopping at a delightful candy store, where I picked up gourmet red licorice from Australia, frog gummy candies, and a Birthday cupcake with strawberry buttercream frosting. Daniel got chocolate that looked like a real sardine.
We stopped at yet another place to grab a strawberry mojito smoothie and a vegan peanut-butter/chocolate cupcake. As such, much delicious sugar was consumed while basking in the sun.
Eventually we returned to the East Bay. Since we were both in a sugar/Absinthe brunch coma, we decided to forgo the numerous events in the city that night, and opt for renting an outdoor hot-tub instead. Whatever little stress that remained melted away, and I must say that for the first time, in a very, very long time I feel completely renewed and refreshed and ready to tackle the next phase of my life. I thought I would be scared to turn 29, but instead I'm so excited. And the best part is, I'm not just saying that! Hahahaha...
Oh no wait, the best part is that I got the most insane present ever from Daniel.
We enjoy watching this TV show about weird foods around the world. And tend to talk about trying strange things, etc, and I mentioned a couple times about that coffee where the weird primate eats the coffee beans and then craps them out and they are collected...
Well Daniel found me something just as (or even more) crazy... Weasel Coffee!! The Weasels eat the fresh coffee beans and then regurgitate them, which the locals (in Vietnam) then collect and roast and make coffee with. Haha so awesome!
So the plan is to pick a good club night, and get all hopped up on the Weasel vomit coffee that he got me, and then go out and dance like a bunch of crazed vermin.
Wiggle Shwiggle, Weasel Sneasel!!!