So, for Jon Walker's birthday, I wanted to write him something. Or, more accurately, write something involving him. However, I am tired and headachey and don't think I'm actually going to get any writing done tonight, so have what I spent my Sunday writing.

Basically, about one in the morning, Sunday, I went to elfiepike and said 'oh, woe is me, I cannot write', and she prompted me, and like. Okay, guys, it's Zack the fucking security guard at Brendon's school. Hi, best concept ever.

Mucho thanks to madsciencechick and adellyna for like, squealing along and making sure there were no glaring errors.

Just FYI, this title was the last thing to come to me. It's not my fault Jesse Lacey channels Brendon Urie, okay?

you're just jealous cause we're young and in love
Brendon/Zack, Spencer/Jon, 3500 words

The second month in, Zack saves him from a toilet.

“I love you," Brendon says. "You're my hero. Marry me."

"You're kind of a weird kid," Zack says, and offers Brendon a hand up from the floor.



It's Brendon's first day of senior year, and already his life has swung dangerously out of balance. "Spencer," he gasps, grasping Spencer's arm. "My life has swung dangerously out of balance."

"Let go of me," Spencer says, and shakes his arm irritably. Brendon grips tighter. "Okay," Spencer sighs. "Why has your life swung dangerously out of balance?"

"Bob," Brendon moans. "There's no Bob."

Spencer follows Brendon's eyes, then shrugs. "Okay," he says.

"I loved Bob," Brendon says. "He saved me from things."

"Uh huh," Spencer says, and keeps walking, tugging Brendon towards the doors. "Like what?"

"Toilets, Spence. I told you about the toilets."

"Right," Spencer says. "Toilets, of course. How could I have forgotten?"

They're at the doors now, and Brendon stops. Spencer sighs and tugs his arm again, but Brendon doesn't move. "You're not Bob," Brendon says.

Not-Bob squints down at him. "I'm Zack," he says.

"Where's Bob?" Brendon asks.

"Not here," Zack says, and he smirks a little. Spencer snorts from behind Brendon. Brendon doesn't appreciate it.

"Is he coming back?" he asks.

"Nope," Zack says, then looks out at the parking lot.

"Never?" Brendon gasps.

"Never," Zack says cheerfully, still not looking at him.

Brendon lets out a moan. Spencer grabs his arm again. "Toilets," Brendon says, as Spencer tugs him inside. "I will never recover, Spencer."

"Okay," Spencer says. "Math time now."

**

Brendon has decided he doesn't like Zack. "I don't like Zack," he tells Spencer, as they walk into school on the second day. Standing there, not being Bob. Who does he think he is?

“Okay," Spencer says. "That's nice."

"I want Bob back," Brendon says.

"For what?" Spencer asks. "Heroic saving you from toilets?"

"Spencer Smith," Brendon starts, "are you stupid?" Spencer stops and glowers at him. "I mean, no, of course," Brendon says. "Of course you're not. But. But Bob was hot, Spencer."

"Uh huh," Spencer says.

"My days," Brendon moans. "They're so empty now."

"Zack's not so bad," Spencer says thoughtfully.

"There is a difference between not bad and hot," Brendon says grandly. "One day you will learn the difference."

"You really need to stop talking to Ryan," Spencer says.

**

On the third day, Brendon tells Zack he doesn't like him. "I don't like you," he says. "I want Bob back."

Zack looks down at him, then smirks again. Brendon doesn't like that either. "Sorry kid," he says.

"Where's Bob?" Brendon asks. "I demand you release him." Spencer lets out a choked sound behind him.

"Bob's gone," Zack says. "Dead."

Brendon gasps. "He's dead?"

"No," Zack says. "Go away, you're keeping me from upholding safety."

"I like him," Spencer says, as they walk inside.

"You would," Brendon sulks.

**

The second month in, Zack saves him from a toilet.

“I love you," Brendon says. "You're my hero. Marry me."

"You're kind of a weird kid," Zack says, and offers Brendon a hand up from the floor.

Brendon has decided he's in love. "I'm in love, Spencer," he declares, but quietly, because they're in class, and Mr. Davis is kind of mean.

"Oh?" Spencer says, muffled against his arm, head on his desk.

"Zack is amazing," Brendon says. "I want his babies."

"I wish Ryan was here," Spencer says. "Or like. I wish you weren't."

"That's not nice," Brendon says. He tries to doodle his initials and Zack's, but he doesn't know Zack's last name, so it ends up looking like BBU <3 ZACK. He think it looks good anyway.

**

Brendon thinks it's important he tells Zack of his love. "I love you," he says, the next morning.

"Okay," Zack says. "Toilet?"

"Babies," Brendon says.

"I. Don't understand?" Zack says.

"You don't want to," Spencer says, from behind Brendon. Brendon hates all this stealthy meanness. "Let's go, Brendon."

"You ruined my declaration," Brendon sulks.

"What a pity," Spencer says. "How sad, that he didn't laugh at you."

"We're in love," Brendon says. "You're just jealous."

"Yes," Spencer says. "Yes, that's exactly it."

**

It's maybe a month later, that Brendon realises that Zack isn't just a toilet saviour and the future father of his child. He has really nice arms. Brendon kind of doesn't want to tell him this. Or Spencer.

"Why so glum, chum?" Jon Walker asks him in music. Brendon loves Jon. Brendon would have his babies too. Brendon maybe doesn't like his arms in the same way.

"I'm not glum," Brendon says glumly. Jon pats his shoulder. Brendon pouts at the floor. This sucks.

**

Brendon blushes when he next runs into Zack and hurries past him. "Okay, what?" Spencer asks, sounding exasperated.

"Nothing," Brendon mumbles.

Jon walks up to them then. "Feeling better?" he asks.

"M'fine," Brendon says, looks up.

"Hi Spencer," Jon says.

"Hi," Spencer says.

"I hate you," Brendon says, once Jon's out of view and Spencer's stopped staring at his ass.

"What?" Spencer asks.

"Hate," Brendon says, punctuating it with a stomp.

"Going to tell me what's wrong?" Spencer asks, huffy.

"No," Brendon huffs back.

“Fine," Spencer says, still huffy.

"Fine!"

They stomp to English, side by side.

**

Spencer goes off with Jon after school that day, and Brendon’s left with the hard task of walking to the bus stop alone. He puts it off, standing guard beside Zack. “It’s a long walk,” he complains. “When you have been betrayed.”

“Uh huh,” Zack says. “You’re kind of blocking my left side.”

“You don’t need that,” Brendon says. “Zack, will you walk me?”

“I’m still working,” Zack says.

“Bob would have walked me,” Brendon sulks. “Why did he leave me?”

Zack shrugs a bit. “Got married, I think, got a better job.”

“Girls suck,” Brendon says. “They take everything away.”

“Actually,” Zack says. “I’m pretty sure it was a guy. But sure.”

Brendon gasps. “Frank?”

Zack looks over at him. “What?”

“I’ve been betrayed again,” Brendon moans. “I thought he was so cool.”

“You’re going to miss your bus,” Zack says.

Brendon has to run for it. If Spencer had been around he wouldn’t ever have to run. It ruins his shoes. He’ll be sure to tell Spencer that.

**

The next morning, Spencer’s smiling. “Spencer,” Brendon says, a little desperately. “I want to have Zack’s babies.”

“Mm,” Spencer says, dreamily.

“Which means I want in Zack’s pants,” Brendon says, tugging on Spencer’s arm. “I want to have sex with our security guy.”

“Uh huh,” Spencer says.

“Where’s your boyfriend, Spencer?” Brendon sulks.

“Don’t know,” Spencer says.

“Wait, what, actually?” Brendon asks.

Spencer blinks at him. Brendon crosses his arms and pouts.

**

Brendon picks daisies from the school gardens, and shows up in front of the school. “Zack,” he says, thrusting the daisies forward. “Have sex with me.”

“Aren’t you like, fourteen?” Zack asks.

“What?” Brendon asks. “No! I’m almost eighteen!” Zack starts laughing. “I am! No, look, Zack, look, I have ID!”

Zack looks over it. “Your middle name’s Boyd?”

“I’m a Mormon!”

“You’re a Mormon?”

This isn’t going the way Brendon wanted it to. “Will you?” he asks.

“Did you take those from the garden?” Zack asks, squinting at the daisies.

“No,” Brendon says. “No, I made them with all the love in my heart.”

“Huh,” Zack says. “Yeah, no, sorry kid, I’m not having sex with you.”

Brendon stomps off to sulk. He ends up missing his bus. If Spencer was around there would be no bus missing. There’d be no propositioning either, and Brendon’s heart wouldn’t be broken.

**

“Spencer,” Brendon says. “My heart has been broken.” Spencer’s too busy mooning to listen to him.

“Jon Walker,” Brendon tries. “Jon Walker, sympathetic friend, my heart has been broken.”

“That’s so sad,” Jon says, thumb stroking over Spencer’s hand. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Brendon says. “No, I am not.”

“Would you like a hug?” Jon asks.

“Why, Jon Walker, that is exactly--”

“No,” Spencer interrupts. “No he wouldn’t.”

Brendon hugs himself instead.

**

Brendon avoids the front doors for days, until Spencer remembers he exists, and drags him through them on the way to the bus. “Hey,” Zack says, as he hurries past. “You okay, kid?”

Brendon tries to keep moving, but Spencer stops him. “My name’s not kid,” Brendon mumbles.

“Brendon,” Zack says. “You okay, Brendon?”

“Fine,” Brendon says, then tugs at Spencer’s arm and moves on.

“How does he know your name?” Spencer asks.

“Showed him my ID,” Brendon mutters.

Spencer stares at him. “Do I want to know?” he asks.

“I look seventeen,” Brendon sulks.

“That’s a no,” Spencer says.

**

Brendon goes through the front door the next day, after taking a lot of deep breaths. “Stop hyperventilating,” Spencer says, as he walks beside him.

“I’m taking deep breaths,” Brendon manages.

“Brendon,” Zack says, as they pass, but Brendon scurries past him.

“Huh,” Spencer says, contemplatively, but as Brendon’s about to ask him what huh is supposed to mean, Jon shows up, and Spencer’s too busy smiling to answer.

**

“Brendon,” Zack says the next day, and the next, and Brendon keeps hurrying past him, until the day where Zack coughs and coughs as he passes, instead of saying his name. Brendon stops.

“Are you okay?” Brendon asks. “Are you sick?”

“M’fine,” Zack says, then starts coughing again.

“Do you need a lozenge?” Brendon asks, starting to root through his bag. “I have lozenges!”

“Thanks,” Zack says, as Brendon hands him one. He starts coughing again. Brendon chews at his lip, hovering, but then the first bell rings.

“I have to go,” he says.

“Okay,” Zack says.

“I do,” Brendon says, not moving.

“Go,” Zack says. Brendon finally does.

**

Brendon comes back at lunch, with tea from the cafeteria. “Drink this,” he says, handing it to Zack. Zack looks at it dubiously.

“Oh,” Brendon says, then roots in his pockets, pulling out little cartons of cream and packets of sugar. “If you don’t want it black, or anything.” He holds out the tea in one hand, the cream and sugar in the other.

Zack takes it after a minute. “Thank you,” he says, sounding all rumbly and sore.

“You’re welcome,” Brendon says, kind of fidgeting. He doesn’t know what to do now. Zack looks at him. He looks back. Zack takes a sip of tea.

“Um,” Brendon says. “Feel better.”

“Thanks,” Zack says, and Brendon retreats.

**

Brendon comes to school the next day with a thermos, but Zack isn’t there. Brendon goes into the office. “Miss Salpeter,” he says, clutching the thermos to his chest. “Where’s Zack?”

“Zack?” she says blankly, then “oh, right. He called in sick.”

“I had something to give him,” Brendon says, chews on his lip. “Is he really, really sick? What if he’s hurt?”

“Brendon,” she says. Brendon maybe sees a lot of the office.

“What if he’s dead?” Brendon frets. “Where does he live? Can I check on him?”

“Brendon,” she says again.

“Please?”

She sighs. “If I call to check on him, will that be okay?”

Brendon thinks about this. He nods. “Um. Want some tea?”

**

Zack’s back on Monday. Brendon considers resisting the impulse to hug him, but decides that’s dumb. “Hi,” he mumbles into Zack’s chest. “You’re alive.”

Zack gently prises him off. “Yeah,” he says. He still sounds scratchy.

Brendon brings him more tea at lunch, and sits on the steps while Zack drinks it.
**


Spencer’s off being gross with Jon, and Brendon’s left to walk to the bus alone, but he stops and sits on the stairs at Zack’s feet. “I don’t want to walk alone,” he says. “Spencer keeps leaving me alone.”

“Spencer’s the girly looking one?” Zack asks.

“Yeah,” Brendon says. “But you can’t say that to him, because he punches really hard.”

“Huh,” Zack says. “Shouldn’t you catch your bus?”

“That’s okay,” Brendon says, craning his head up to look at Zack. Zack looks back down at him. “Can you walk me?” Brendon asks.

Zack sighs. “Bob would do it?” he asks. Brendon nods. “I’m off in fifteen minutes.”

**

“Spencer,” Brendon says the next morning. “Zack walked me to the bus stop.”

Jon takes his head out from where it’s resting against Spencer’s neck. “Who’s Zack?”

“That security guy,” Spencer says, tilting his head to the side a little. Brendon thinks he looks stupid. Jon goes back to his neck. Obviously he disagrees. “Brendon, is this like the time you told me Zack saved your life from a toilet?”

“Zack did save my life from a toilet,” Brendon says. “And he walked me to the bus stop, because you were too busy for me!”

Jon looks up again. “You can walk with us any time, Brendon,” he says. The look on Spencer’s face says Brendon can’t, but.

“Thanks Jon Walker,” Brendon says, and kicks at the ground.

**

Zack says good morning in the morning, and have a nice night in the afternoon, and sometimes at lunch, when Spencer’s off with his tongue down Jon’s throat behind the bleachers, Brendon sits with Zack and tells him about his day, or his plans in life, how he’s going to be a totally fabulous hairstylist.

Zack always nods along, and one time he stopped someone and checked their ID, still nodding along to everything Brendon said. It was pretty cool.

“It was pretty cool,” Brendon tells Spencer, through the last stall in the bathroom.

“Okay,” Spencer says, and he sounds kind of wavery. “Busy now.”

“Hi Jon,” Brendon says.

“Jon’s kind of busy too,” Spencer says.

Brendon scowls a little. “You never listen to me,” he says, and stomps off.

**

“He never listens to me,” he complains to Zack, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. “I mean, I was just trying to talk to him through the stall, it’s not like he couldn’t say yes or no or somethimg.”

“Dude,” Zack says, and Brendon looks up at him. “You were talking to him while he was in the bathroom?”

“He wasn’t actually,” Brendon scowls. “Jon was in there with him.”

Zack starts laughing, and he won’t tell Brendon why. Brendon kicks at his shin and stomps off.

**

Brendon turns eighteen on a Tuesday. “Zack,” he says, bounding up to him on the stairs. “Guess what?”

Zack squints down at him. “If I say what, will you tell me, or are you going to make me guess?”

“I’m eighteen,” Brendon beams.

“Oh,” Zack says, then looks away. “Congrats, kid.”

Brendon tugs on his arm a little, but Zack shrugs him off, and Brendon goes off to first period scowling.

**

For prom, Brendon’s the third wheel. Spencer and Jon both look good, with suits and shiny shoes, and they keep smiling at each other, but different smiles than usual.

“You going to do what they say?” Brendon asks, nudging Spencer’s shoulder. Spencer stares back blankly. “You going to go for it?” He says that maybe a little loudly. People stare.

“What are you talking about?” Spencer asks.

“You going to lose your virginity?” Brendon asks. Spencer blinks, once, twice. Beside him, Jon goes kind of red.

“You’re shunned,” Spencer says.

“What?” Brendon asks.

“Shunned,” Spencer says. “Go away. Stop embarrassing Jon.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” Jon says, still red.

“I’m getting punch,” Brendon says. He idles by the punch bowl for awhile, but it’s boring there, and eventually he wanders outside. Zack’s standing by the doors. Brendon sits down on the stairs in front of them, lets out a long sigh.

Zack doesn’t say anything, and Brendon stares at his hands, counts freckles, his breaths, how bored he is, how stupid prom is anyway, and then Zack’s sitting down beside him. “I hate prom,” Brendon says.

“Yeah,” Zack says. He’s wearing a suit. He looks really nice. He’s probably getting it dirty.

“Seriously,” Brendon says. “Seriously, babies.”

“What?” Zack asks.

“Never mind,” Brendon says, and leans his head on Zack’s shoulder until Zack shrugs it off.

**

When he sees Zack next it’s bright out, and Zack isn’t wearing a suit anymore, but he still looks really nice. Spencer and Jon are off being couply, and Brendon’s eighteen, and Zack looks really nice, and.

“Come to a movie with me,” Brendon says, as he approaches. “Please.”

Zack looks at the stream of kids entering, doesn’t look at Brendon. “Brendon, go to class,” he says finally.

“Answer me,” Brendon says, stubborn, doesn’t move other than to shift his bag from one shoulder to the other.

“No,” Zack says.

“No, you won’t answer me?” Brendon asks.

“No,” Zack says, and looks over at him.

“Oh,” Brendon mumbles. “Okay, sorry,” and starts walking inside.

“Brendon,” he hears from behind him, Zack’s longsuffering voice, but he keeps walking.

**

Brendon stops taking the front doors. “What?” Spencer asks, the same longsuffering tone Zack had, on the third day, but Brendon doesn’t answer, just keeps taking side doors, swerving to avoid any potential encounters. “Hm,” Spencer says on Friday, thoughtful, and then on Monday Brendon’s being dragged towards the entrance, Spencer’s fingers digging into his wrist, Jon’s hand light on his back.

“Hi Brendon,” Zack says as they approach, and Brendon keeps his eyes down, mumbles a high back. “I was kind of worried about you,” Zack adds, and Spencer stops, fingers almost bruising against Brendon’s skin, keeping him there. “Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“Sorry,” Brendon mumbles, looks up at Zack. And Zack kind of does look worried, a little, enough that Brendon has to duck his head again, say some sort of goodbye and drag Spencer and Jon behind him as he walks inside.

**

And it’s not Zack’s fault that he doesn’t like Brendon, Brendon’s just a kid, like he said, and it’s not fair to avoid him when he looks kind of sad about it, and listens to Brendon talk even though he doesn’t want to go to a movie or have sex or babies or anything.

So Brendon comes back, sits on the stairs during free periods, at lunch when Spencer and Jon aren’t around, tells him about his day and about how his summer’s going to be, and about how Spencer’s still kind of a bitch, but Jon’s making him nicer, he thinks. And Zack listens. He listens, and he asks questions, and he’s really good about things, good enough that Brendon almost doesn’t mind that he said no.

Except there are the days, when Zack’s walked him to the bus stop or slapped his shoulder or smiled at him, and Brendon goes home and stares at the ceiling and blinks a lot, but it’s hay fever season anyway, so it doesn’t mean anything.

And then graduation’s approaching, and Brendon’s busy with exams, stressed all the time, more fidgety than usual. When he gets time, he sits with Zack, sometimes with textbooks perched on his knees, red bull replacing lunch. “That’s not good for you,” Zack always says, but he eats horrible things for lunch, so he doesn’t get to talk.

Brendon looks up from his math textbook one day, blinks up at Zack, who’s already looking down at him. “Will you miss me?” he asks, and Zack looks away, shrugs.

“Guess so, kid,” he says.

“I have a name,” Brendon huffs, but he smiles down into the equations beneath him.

“Yeah,” Zack says. “I know. Kid.”

**

The day Brendon graduates, it’s sunny, bright, enough that he squints down the field. Spencer looks pretty, all dolled up, eyeliner and probably lipgloss, since his lips look all shiny. Jon looks all moony over him. Brendon isn’t really jealous, but. He’s maybe a little.

He sits through speeches, squirms in the heat, bored and over heated, unable to look back at Spencer and Jon, row after row after row behind him. And then it happens, diploma, graduation, and he’s blinking out at the sun again, but now he’s free. “Free,” Jon says behind him, tugs him off his feet with a hug, and Brendon can hear Spencer laugh, high and clear. And it’s good, it’s a good moment, but he’s maybe not as happy as they are.

He’s sandwiched between them for once, each with an arm around him, steering him towards the front of the school, even though Brendon’s car’s around back, their parents, Brendon’s. “Wrong way, guys,” he asks, and Spencer laughs right into his ear, giddy, and they turn the corner, close in on the front doors.

Zack’s sitting on the steps. “Hi,” Brendon says, stopping. Spencer and Jon stumble a little, but stop with him.

“Hey,” Zack says, and stands up. There’s a bouquet of daisies in his hands, pulled up by the roots, ugly but.

“Did you take those from the garden?” Brendon asks, dumbly, and Zack smiles.

“Yeah,” Zack says.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Brendon asks.

“Yeah,” Zack says again, and his smile widens.

Brendon waits for Spencer’s snort, but doesn’t hear it. He turns around, but Spencer isn’t there, is walking the other way, arm around Jon’s shoulder. “Um,” he says, and Zack takes a couple of steps forward.

“Brendon,” Zack says, thrusting the flowers forward. Brendon takes them. “Have sex with me.”

“I’m not a slut,” Brendon says, but he’s maybe beaming and clutching the daisies to his chest.

“Of course not,” Zack agrees.

“I don’t put out for just anyone,” Brendon says.

“Right,” Zack says.

“Okay,” Brendon says.

“Okay?” Zack says. Brendon nods. “Okay,” Zack says again, taking a step forward, and Brendon has to get up on his tiptoes to kiss him. He drops the daisies, and Zack’s laughing when he pulls back. It’s okay, though.

“You wanted me all along,” Brendon beams.

“Yeah,” Zack says. “Kind of.”