M) ...now... now it's a matter of experience accumulation, realisation accumulation, and then a breaking point will be reached. Only... seven episodes left, or thereabouts? Getting really close to the end, cutting it very close, but it makes sense, the... hmm. NERV and SEELE come to mind... anyway, the main force for the main offensive, then they have to switch sides and join forces against the 'main boss(es)'... I hope... this looks like an answers-period, and I will be REALLY ANGRY if we never see Dag again. ...It's odd. The things I truly care about provoke rankling irritation, whereas individual characters provoke true anger... doushite?

Heh. Of course, none of these are even close to 'true' emotions... ignoring the near-emotionless nature of all of us, there are far stronger, more permanent frustrations and qualities of anger that could be felt. Far more terrible. All this is relatively measured within the bounds of this type of experience.

Nobodys... hmm. The concepts can be paralleled, and might be equal. ('Nobodies'?) Act as though you feel emotion, because you're trying to seem like a real person, until you can't tell the difference any more... there are real emotions. I know there are, because I can see the memories in which they've been felt. Or not see, 'recall'. The sharp, painful ones are most definite. The others are harder to get a handle on. Anything which involves words or any deliberate motion is suspect. In fact, anything done deliberately is suspect. Hmm. Those non-obvious cases, then: uncontrollable trembling of a lower lip on one occasion. Especially noted because it couldn't be recalled as happening before, hasn't happened since, and of course was recognised from descriptions in books. It couldn't be controlled, though N tried to, and it didn't match the 'official' emotional state. The official emotional state was something that was attempted to be implemented using an infrastructure with its own emotional state, a shakiness that couldn't be quelled.

I sound like my brother, even down to the ridiculous grammar.

Reasons have already been gone through regarding the implications concerning the matter of separate identities. The logic of it doesn't concern me.

...silly though it might be, I still want to sound different. Heh, and F's terrified of saying anything, for fear that she'll lose whatever she had.

Same thought processes. Same infrastructure... no, neither is correct.

Same thought protocols. How to think, how to phrase words. The same stubborn arbitrary pedantry, the same rules, the same applications of rationality. We're too alike.
...If we were in separate bodies, that would be fine: the same effect would be the result of similar circumstances: close proximity, long association, thought protocols shaped by interactions with the other into similar forms. We could be accused of sounding alike and deny it, or accept it, and...

Working through the logic of our existences, separate or not and how to treat them, was hard enough. I'm pretty happy with the result, all things considered... heh, I wonder if that sort of existential uncertainty could also be part of what did Markus in?
Sounding differently from others... that's just a desire to be seen as separate, to lessen doubts which always form.

Same thought protocols. Through everything out the window, mimic F in that regard, it might work. The problem: I'd be pretty much mindless for a good long time afterwards, if I could even bring myself to do it in the first place. Even then, our thought protocols might converge again. *tired* I suppose I could always try to find a book on etiquette, how young ladies are supposed to speak... that could help with a lot of things actually, not least my tendency to piss people off when I get too direct or barbed. *wry smile* ...But I'd never be allowed the time to do it. Even the prime book on the list of books to read that the others have made in here has been languishing on the bedside table for the last... well, ever since the January exams, really.

Now that I think about it, I'd probably end up sounding ridiculous, or ridiculously outdated. And I'd probably have to hold my tongue, which is good in one way and unbearable in another. ...though I still wonder...
A matter of always wanting what one cannot have.
In the end, the same answer as always. More tangles first, but they lead to it as well in the end. Wait. Wait for the Singularity, wait for goddesshood, wait for someone to actually DO something... the amount of time spent on anime instead of on bionanotechnology reading isn't helping either, though I'm also to blame for that. ...and yes, I suppose the exams are helping as well... *sighs; yawns*

...oh, and apparently we're not a 'Singularitarian', though we might be after all, since we're focused on getting the Singularity for ourselves and then probably at some later date introducing the globalism part. ...Only maybe not, as it could turn into a Vinge-esque situation if the Powers leave, one by one, and Earth is left behind as a sort of preservation park for those not yet ready to abandon it. Remember, the technophobes won't go along that easily, and forcing them is surely unethical. By most ethical systems used in this context, that is.

First, get that power, because others aren't trusted with it... the results aren't trusted... some are better than others, but first and foremost... and can't just wait and hope... mustn't...

It's easier for those planning to do it with AI, I suppose: they don't expect to have any semblance of control over it, as they assume that a sufficiently intelligence AI would be able to manipulate them easily in any case.

Posthumanism... transcendence... while it would be nice if ultimate intelligence led to ultimate wisdom, there's too great an area in the middle there where you've got potential beyond human comprehension and a boatload of human biases as well. It's time to end this entry now, I think.

Oh! And one other thing: 'I think therefore I am' doesn't rule out that you could be a figment of someone else's imagination. You still exist, it's just that your existence is dependent on certain factors, as usual... it's different in a world where belief determines reality, but can also sort of apply to other situations as well. Though of course there's also the 'may it can't really think' problem. *yawns again* Oyasumi... ah, it's still before supper, isn't it?