Title : A Step Too Far(Part4/?)
Pairing : Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso
Rating : PG13
Summary : Some making up to do.
Disclaimer : FICTION and nothing else!
Warnings : Flangst!
Feedbacks : Are LOVE! and soo much appreciated.

OK, this turned out not as what I wanted.



A Step Too Far(Part4/?)

“You are leaving.”

That was more of a statement from Xabi, not a question. And Steven merely nodded in response. He stood near the door, ready to make his getaway, waiting anxiously for Xabi, waiting for a flicker of hope that he wanted him to stay. When nothing came out from the Spaniard’s mouth after what seemed like forever, Steven reached for the door with a heavy heart. Gripping the doorknob in his hand, he was about to twist it opened when Xabi’s words stopped him.

“You hurt me, Stevie.”

Steven’s heart froze in an instant. His back was against him and he was almost afraid to turn around, he was afraid to face him because what Xabi said was the awful truth.

“I’m sorry, Xabi…I did hurt ye,” was all he could mutter. His hand was still on the doorknob, eyes still facing the wooden door. Then, he turned his head slightly and saw Xabi taking a few steps closer towards him.

“And I don’t know if we should still do this, Stevie.”

The quiet calm of Xabi’s voice as he spoke those words made Steven panic. He finally turned around to face him and leaned against the door for support. He was having difficulty breathing, his heart beating erratically. Xabi was not suggesting what he thought it was.

“What…what do ye mean?” he stuttered.

“I mean…I don’t know if I can just be your friend, Stevie,” Xabi spoke softly and paused. He took in a deep breath and bit on his bottom lip, a habit he does whenever he was nervous. That sight made Steven felt like leaping in and grabbing him by the collar to kiss him senseless. He wanted him, he needed him and there was no denying it. But first, he needed to understand what Xabi’s words meant.

“What are ye sayin’, Xabi?” he asked timidly.

There was still a safe distance between them and Xabi held on to his restraints, ignoring the urge to pin Steven to the door and slamming his lips on his.

“What I said this morning,” he began tentatively. “I meant it, Stevie. I meant it when I said that I can’t do this anymore with you if you keep hurting me like that…”

“I didn’t mean it, Xabi! I was stupid I know! But…” Steven then stopped explaining himself and clenched his eyes shut. “But that’s no excuse for doing what I did…I am truly, very sorry.”

Steven bowed his head and sighed heavily. Looking up a few seconds later he gazed at Xabi who was still standing rooted just a few steps away from him. Xabi was looking at him, his body leaning forward slightly and Steven could sense the tension in the air was quickly increasing by the moment.

“Xabi…I’m sorry,” he tried again.

“I know you are, Stevie,” Xabi replied softly but neither wanted to cave in, neither wanted to say the words that both needed to hear.

“I know I’m stupid, Xabi. And I can understand if you want to end this…but...” Steven faltered again, not really believing his voice as he uttered those words. Leaning his head back now, he looked straight into the Spaniard’s eyes and decided that he needed to be the bigger of the two since it was he who started the whole damn mess in the first place.

“Xabi, I was wrong, I hurt ye with words that I shouldn’t have said.”

“Did you mean what you said?” Xabi asked and Steven’s eyes grew wide at the mere suggestion,

“No! Of course I didn’t mean it! I know it was selfish of me. I had too many things on me mind and I took it out on ye,” Steven explained like a little boy, his eyes reflecting pure regret towards the man standing right before him. “I need ye, Xabi. Ye know I can’t live without ye.”

He stopped and took in a deep breath.

“Please forgive me.”

“I’ve already forgiven you…” Xabi said while inching his way towards him. He stopped right in front of him and grazed his hand on Steven’s arm, gripping it gently. He placed his other hand on the door behind him and Steven held his breath as Xabi leaned in nearer. His hot breath against Steven’s skin was making it near impossible for him to think straight.

“You know how I feel about you, Stevie…but I don’t know whether I can handle it again if…” but before Xabi can complete his sentence, Steven did what he had wanted to do all evening. Slamming their lips together, Steven kissed him hungrily, a kiss born from desperation and relief rolled into one. Xabi moaned into his mouth and pressed him against the door, his fingers gripping Steven’s short hair in the process.

“Stevie…” he breathed against the Scouser’s lips, his tone trembling slightly as they tore their mouths away for a quick breather. “I’m sorry I hit you…I’m so sorry, Stevie…”

His fingers were tracing the bruise lightly, that touch on Steven’s skin making him sigh. Pressing himself closer against the older man, Xabi whispered in his ear, “Let me make it up to you, Stevie…”

“I thought ye had,” Steven breathed heavily against Xabi’s neck. His teeth were now scraping the tender skin and Xabi leaned his head back to give him more access. The sight before him made Steven’s brain short circuit. Lips parted and eyes closed with head thrown back, Steven felt himself getting increasingly hard and turned them around in an instant, this time pinning the Spaniard hard against the door. Before Xabi could react, Steven attacked his neck again, kissing and licking it before making his way up to his earlobe. He gave it a small bite and sucked on it gently, eliciting sounds of pleasure from the younger man.

“Does this mean we are on good terms again?” he asked breathlessly against Xabi’s warm skin. Xabi pulled Steven’s head up and cupped his face in both his hands.

“Steven…” he muttered but his gaze dropped to the Scouser’s inviting lips and he couldn’t help himself from biting down gently on it, making him moan. “You’re my pain and pleasure, Steven…” he whispered, his lips ghosting his lightly. “I can’t say no to you,” he smiled. “I’m pathetic.”

Steven chuckled and leaned their foreheads together. “I love ye, Xabi. Ye know that.”

“Please don’t do that again.”

“No…” he answered and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I won’t.”

“How can I be sure of that?” Xabi asked teasingly.

“I’ll show ye.”

Steven was about to capture his mouth with his again when a knock on the door startled them both out of the entrancing moment.

“Fuckin’ hell, who could that be now?”