so last night i ended up hanging out with an old high school friend.

what was supposed to be a friendly outing to his kickback...i soon discovered that the so called "friendly outing" would turn into a somewhat of a date.

it was a boring chill night. mainly just sat outside talking by his pool with his other friends. we talked about the past, the present, and the future. it was fun hanging with him because i havent talked to him for like 2 years...and the fact that there was never a dull awkward moment made it fun.

i realized that it was somewhat of a date when i called shotgun and he made me sit in the back with him.

then we ended up going to 24 hour walmart where he bought random shit...even really cute heels for me! but somehow within that time...what once was a crowd suddenly became a date. somehow his friend disappeared and it was only me and him. nothing happened...but we did just talk.

after that we went to circle k and in the car we were alone...and then i fell asleep on the ride to my house.

that was my night...from 930 to 120...thats all we did.

sometime around that though...he tried coming in for a kiss but i simply put my hand in front of my face and told him that i was sorta saving my kisses for someone else.

someone that isnt ever gonna come back to me.

so he said that hed just kiss me like he kissed me earlier...and kissed me on my head.

tee-hee...damn that meow! i dont know. jlyn told me to keep my options open....so for the first time in 5 months...even though i didnt know itd end up like that i went on a date...but could you really call it a date when i kept my distance? i felt bad.

i didnt touch him when it came to crossing streets and i avoided the kiss. but is it the right decision to stop those opportunities for a guy?

for a guy who doesnt (and may never will) see me the way i want him to ever again?