Everything became centered on trying to get through one day at a time. I could go whole days without thinking of Jack. Then the guilt would come crashing down. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, begging him not to leave, whispering apologies in the dark.
My thoughts weren’t exactly on my trip to Whistler. I’d managed to push the thought as far back in my mind as I could get it. The whole thought of being alone with Jensen was making me nervous as hell. In what I was beginning to believe were my saner moments, I considered telling Jensen I’d changed my mind. Then I’d hear the tone in his voice when he’d said, ‘I want to make love to my woman’, and I’d get a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. All thoughts of canceling disappeared at that point. We’d always had other distractions at home; Bryce, Jared, not to mention the stolen moments. We’d make out in the pantry like a couple of horny teenagers every chance we got.. As if my nerves weren’t bad enough, there was also the teasing I got from my son.
“So,” I glanced at Bryce as we cleaned up the kitchen for the evening. “I’m thinking about a trip to Whistler this weekend.” I studiously scrubbed a hole in my countertop.
“Are you mad at Mister Jensen again?” He asked, as he carefully wrapped the leftovers.
“No,” I took a steadying breath. “Actually, I was thinking that maybe you could stay with Mister Jared and Miss Sandy for the weekend, and Jensen could come with me to Whistler.”
“Okay.” And that was it. I watched in stunned silence as he ran off to his room to get ready for bed.
Of course, I should have known something was up when he didn’t have much of a reply. Then the guys showed up. It started off easily enough. Jared and Bryce were harassing each other over the video controls. Sandy, Jensen, and I sought refuge at the dining room table, occasionally tossing out comments and recommendations. Yet every time Jared or Bryce passed us to get a soda, or rummage for more sweets, they would hum under their breath.
“What are you humming?” I demanded, and grabbed my son.
“Nothing,” he giggled.
“Nothing,” I raised my eyebrows at him, and glanced at the rest of them. “Nothing he says,” I huffed. “I think that this calls for…”
“No Mom,” Bryce squealed, and wiggled like a worm on a hook.
“Oh yes,” I grinned manically. “Tickle torture,” I yelled. My fingers curled and sought every ticklish spot I could find, while he squirmed and laughed. “Give me all of your secrets,” I demanded in a bad German accent.
“Jensen, help,” he sputtered, shrieking with laughter, and stumbled from my arms with a mighty heave.
I chased him through the dining room, letting him run through the living room. I laughed as he dodged Jared’s attempt to catch him. Of course, Sandy blind-siding Jared with a throw pillow was a lucky break.
“Oops,” she gave a sheepish shrug. “Sorry,” she grimaced. The look in her eyes said she wasn’t the least bit sorry.
“Sorry?” Jared sputtered incredulously. “That’s it!”
That, of course, led to shrieks and giggles from Sandy, as Jared chased her through the house. I ducked a pillow Jay lobed at his girl. I spun around to find that Jensen had scooped Bryce upside down under one arm. He caught me around the waist with the other.
“I’ll ransom the kid,” he winked at me.
“Really?” I grinned at him. “What do you want?”
“Hm,’ he pretended to ponder the question. “A kiss,” he smirked.
“You think he’s worth a whole kiss?” I laughed as my son squirmed.
“Sure,” he flashed me a huge grin. “See he’s bendable,” I bit my lip to stop from laughing when I saw my son’s less than amused face, due to hanging upside down. Jensen had grabbed one leg and pulled it up and down. “He’s squishy,” He flipped my son up right, in spite of his protests, and gave him a bear hug until he groaned.
“Well, I guess a kiss,” I laughed.
Jensen smiled at me with twinkling eyes, leaned in to claim his prize, and my son decided that it was a perfect time to sing the song he and Jared had been humming all evening.
“Jensen and Mommy sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage,” he giggled when Jared picked up the verse and they sang it all over again.
I thought my face was going to catch fire. Fortunately Jensen’s face was just as red.
Jensen sputtered and chuckled. “You guys suck.”
“Instead of getting a baby we could just get a puppy,” Bryce informed us.
There were things about living in Vancouver that I absolutely without a doubt hated, the traffic being the biggest on the list. A drive that should only take me twenty minutes, often took me forty-five. If Bryce was having a slow morning and I was running late, it usually left me feeling frustrated. Unfortunately that set the tone for my day.
I was in the middle of an argument with the caterers, for the Christmas faculty party when there was a gentle tap on my door. I glanced up to see Mike standing in my doorway. He always wore the most interesting things. His knitted cap was yellow and green. He’d unzipped his jacket enough so that I could see the simple tee shirt he was wearing with his jeans. I thought it said, ‘I love my Weiner’. As it turned out, it did. I gave him a smile and waved him in.
“Well sir, I’ll tell you what,” I fought to keep my voice smooth and steady. “I have a contract in front of me for the quote on the menu and services fees. So, while I understand that the prices of game hens have risen, that is not my fault. I will not pay extra. Now if you can’t honor our agreement, then I will be forced to redirect our gathering elsewhere, but I will be canceling the check I wrote out,” I listened for a few minutes more. “Look, serve the dinner we ordered, or refund my money!” I snapped. “It’s as simple as that,” I dropped my phone in its cradle, and glared at it for a moment before my face smoothed out. “Hey you,” I smiled up at Mike, before coming around my desk to give him a hug and a kiss.
“Trouble?” He cocked his head at my phone.
“Where’s a good gator pond when you need one?” I asked him. “So, what brings you to my parlor, Mister Rosenbaum?” I teased.
“Well, I came to sweep my friend off to lunch,” he glanced around for a moment. “But if you’re busy…?” he trailed off hesitantly.
“I’m always busy,” I grinned as I leaned against the corner of my desk.
“Olivia?” Carrie stood in my doorway. “Olsen wants to see you,” there was a faint look of distaste on her face.
“Tell him,” I hesitated, and glanced at Mike. “I’m out to lunch.”
I never realized how spoilt I was by Jensen, until I went to lunch with Mike. Jensen always held doors open for me, and guided me to our destination with a light hand in the small of my back. He held out my chair for me at restaurants. I felt protected. I felt cherished. He made me feel like a lady. Mike left me to fend for myself so to speak. He didn’t escort me. If I got to a door first he’d wait for me to open it.
“Okay, what have you been up to?” Mike demanded as soon as the waitress walked away with our orders.
We talked about work, the writer’s strike, and Bryce.
“So, how’s Jensen?” he asked, taking a big bite of his sandwich.
“Great,” I shrugged with a faint frown.
“I hear you guys are going to Whistler this weekend,” he teased with a twinkle in his eyes. “So things are pretty serious?”
“What? Do you have a spy in my household?” I laughed.
“Hey, I worked damn hard getting you guys together,” Mike laughed at my expression.
“You worked hard?” I gaped at him.
“Liv you didn’t see the look on his face the day that we brought Bryce back with a busted lip,” Mike smirked.
“What do you mean?” I asked with a frown.
“He just had this look on his face,” Mike leaned back in his chair. “I mean, Jen’s a great guy but he would never have…” he hesitated. “He needed a push.”
“A push,” I swallowed back my lunch. “God, I feel like a chess piece.”
“It was a fine piece of Lex-ing if I do say so myself,” his eyes twinkled at me.
“I can’t believe that you’d…” I sputtered.
“Hey,” he frowned at me. “Are you happy?” I raised startled eyes. “I’m serious,” Mike smiled. “If you’re happy, and Jen’s happy, then what’s the problem?”
“He’d kick your ass if he knew,” I shook my head at him.
“So don’t tell him,” Mike smirked.
“You need to tell him, you little shit,” I laughed.
“Maybe,” he wrinkled his nose. “Maybe I’ll wait until the wedding,” he was all toothy smiles. “He wouldn’t start a fight while wearing a tux would he?”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, slick,” I frowned at him.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, just make sure MY invitation doesn’t get lost in the mail,” Mike laughed at me some more.
Needless to say my mind wasn’t on the ton of work on my desk. Lunch kept replaying over and over in my head. Was Jensen just feeling competitive? I suddenly felt like the rope in a tug of war game. If I felt slightly maneuvered how much was Cookie going to freak.
The very sound of my name almost didn’t register with me.
“Dr. Lucas,” I glanced around to see the Dean of the University hurrying towards me.
“Dr. Mitchell,” I gasped, and broke out in a wide smile.
“Please, it’s Bruce,” he smiled down at me, and took my offered hand.
“Olivia,’ I grinned up at him.
Bruce Mitchell wasn’t a person some people would picture as a Dean of a University. He was roughly Jensen’s height, but with big broad shoulders. I’d spotted the collegiate sports trophies scattered through his office. He’d played everything from football to soccer. He’d even wrestled a bit. At fifty-something, he still sported a thick head of dark brown hair. He was a good-looking guy, and his life partner thought so too.
“I have to tell you how pleased I am with the way the Rehabilitation Center is starting to come around,” he smiled down at me.
“The staff has been busting their tails, sir,” I loved the warm glow of satisfaction that his praise gave me.
“Well, from what I’m hearing all of the credit has been piled high on your shoulders, young lady,” Bruce smiled down at me.
“Thank you sir,” I could feel the pleased flush in my cheeks.
“I just wanted you to know that I’ve been receiving some pretty sizable donations from the networks,’ he grinned at me. “We’ll be ready to break ground for the new facility, come January.”
“You’re kidding?” I gasped.
He shook his head at me. “We would’ve never thought of appealing to American studios for donations, if you hadn’t been so convincing with your ideas.”
“Thank you,” I swallowed back my shock.
“Anyway, good job Olivia,” he patted my shoulder and started to walk away. “I’m looking forward to more great things out of you, young lady,’ he pointed a finger at me with a smile.
“I’ll try not to let you down,” I laughed. My head felt light with the rush of satisfaction, and my hands shook with excitement. I dug around in my purse and fumbled my cell out.
I was surprised to find myself talking to Jensen’s voicemail.
“Hey, I know you’re working, but oh my god!” I laughed. “I’m so excited! I just got told that the donations have started coming in from LA. We’ll be breaking ground for the new Rehabilitation Center in January,” I felt like I was on a high. “I… I’m… Anyway you were the first person I thought of calling,” I could feel my face flaming red. “See you at home.”
He was the first person I’d called, and for some reason that scared the shit out of me.
Of course there was nothing like running into people who we hadn’t seen in a while. The shocked and uncomfortable looks on their faces when they would ask about Jack, and the looks that I’d get when I told them that Jack had passed away. I was childishly torn between the pleasure at their obvious discomfort, wanting people to hurt just as badly as I did and the renewed ache in my chest.
I will not panic. I will not panic. That had become my constant mantra through the day. I’d picked up my phone a half dozen times to cancel, but I always set my phone down again. Going to Whistler with Jensen meant no interruptions. No interference. No responsibilities. Just us.
“Tell me this is a bad idea,” I demanded as soon as Lisa answered the phone.
“You’re the only woman in the States who would freak out at the thought of spending the weekend with her incredibly sexy boyfriend,” Lisa laughed.
“Yeah well, I live in Canada,” I snorted. Lisa always put things into perspective for me.
“By the way given half a chance and a shot in hell, I’d steal him from you in a heart beat,” she laughed. “I just wanted to get that out there.”
“Well, thanks for the honesty,” I snapped wryly.
“Any time baby,” she snorted. “So aren’t you suppose to be on your way to a weekend of bliss? What the hell are you doing calling me?”
“Trying not to throw up,” I gave a shrug that she couldn’t see.
“Come on Liv,’ her voice changed and became serious. “Its just Jensen, you know the guy that burps the alphabet on your couch.”
“I know. I know,” I sighed and leaned my head back against the rest in the car. “But…”
“You’ve shared thousands of intimacies already with the guy,” Lisa spoke quietly. “That’s what you’re scared of and you don’t have to be. I don’t think that he’d have asked you to come away for the weekend if he wasn’t seriously into you.”
I watched as Jared and Jensen walked towards their trailers where I was parked. Their shoulders brushed and bumped off of each other as they made their way towards me. Jensen was smiling at what that Jared was saying. His gait loose and relaxed. It was easy to see that Jay was teasing him. I smiled at the pushing match that ensued.
“I know,” I sighed and opened the door as Jensen walked up.
“Hey let me get cleaned up a little and we’ll take off,” he informed me after kissing me.
“Oh god I am officially jealous,” Lisa sighed in my ear. “If you don’t want him can I have him?”
“Okay,” I snorted. “And the answer is no,” I told my phone.
“Leanne?” Jensen mouthed as he held my car door for me.
I shook my head and mouthed Lisa. I was flabbergasted when he took my phone from me.
“Is she freaking out?” he asked moving away when I went to grab for the phone. Whatever Lisa had said had him laughing.
“Cookie,” I smacked his coat sleeve and tried to grab my phone back before Lisa said something mortifyingly embarrassing.
“You’re right she does look like a pissed off Chihuahua,” he laughed at my glare. “I better give this back before she kicks my butt.”
He passed me the phone back just as Lisa was telling him that I couldn’t kick that high.
“Thanks, you traitorous bitch,” I commented without heat.
“Ooohhhh language,” Jay drawled out, laughing.
“Okay now I am getting comments from the Pipsqueak,” I giggled. “I need to go kick his ass. Love you! Bye!”
Jay helped me transfer my bag to Jensen’s Land Rover and patiently looked over the written instructions that I left for the security system. Where the fire extinguishers are.
“Are you expecting me to burn your house down,” Jay asked as his eyebrows rose.
“No,” I felt the stain of embarrassment covering my cheeks. “God no,” I scoffed. “But you know things… Happen,” I finished lamely. “I also included his pediatrician’s number and the number to poison control so don’t get excited,” I had to stand on tiptoe to point out the numbers to him.
“I gave you the number to the hotel we’ll be at,” Jensen told him as he came up.
I reached into my pocket for my car keys and pulled out the money I’d grabbed from the ATM. I passed Jay my car keys since he’d be taking my car back to my house because Sandy used his SUV to pick up Bryce.
“I can’t believe you bought this car,” he groused playfully.
“What’s wrong with my car?”
I glanced at the new Dodge Charger that I’d bought when I moved to Canada. I loved my car with its maroon red paint job and silver trim.
“Well it’s a Dodge,” Jensen smirked.
“This coming from the Land Rover owner,” I scoffed.
“He’s just jealous that I get to drive it,” Jay laughed.
“It just seems like a lot of car,” Jensen frowned. “And not real good in the snow and ice.”
That comment made both of the men scowl at my car like she’d done something wrong.
“I like a throaty engine,” I crossed my arms. “Besides it has a keyless entry, automatic start, and,” I grinned widely. “Heated seats.”
“Christ! It does everything but make your damn coffee in the morning,” Jensen’s eyebrows rose.
“That was a different options package,” I teased and waved my hand in a vapid gesture.
“Smart ass,” Jensen swatted me on the butt and then pulled me close for a kiss on the cheek.
“Oh before I forget,” I passed the money that I was holding to Jared.
“What the hell is this?” he scowled down at me.
“Money for the weekend,” I blinked up at him, confused by his attitude.
“Money for the… Oh fuck no” He sputtered and grabbed my wrist in a firm grip. “You ever try giving me money for watch Bryce again and we’re going to have serious issues lady,” he snarled down at me. His Texas accent was in full force. He jammed the money back in my hand. The back of my brain screamed run but fear froze me into place. “You watch my babies whenever I go down to LA. Feed me all the time. Hell, you even buy my dog food for your place,” he huffed. His voice softened but he was obviously still irritated. His hand gentled on my wrist and he tugged me into his body. “It’s damn insulting,” he kissed the top of my head and gave my shoulders a squeeze.
“Sorry,” I brushed away the rush of tears and affection.
“Okay, okay,” Jensen cut in. “There is no making her cry.”
“Anything else I need to remember?” Jay asked.
“Bryce likes to cuddle for a few minutes in the mornings when he first wakes up. It takes his brain a few minutes to get started,” Jensen told him as he moved to open my door of the truck. “Don’t let his vegetables touch anything else on his plate,” he moved around to get into the driver side of the truck talking to Jay. “Make sure he gets his vitamin in the morning and no caffeine drinks after 4 or he’ll be a bear to getting ready for bed,” he paused and stuck his head in the truck “Anything else?” he asked me with a frown.
“Nope I think that you pretty much got it,” I fought hard not to show too much of my amusement. Then Jay caught my eyes and gave me a slightly surprised and mystified look over Jensen’s shoulder when Jen gave him a manly hug goodbye and a friendly thump on the shoulder.
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