(Read Part 1.) The scene fades back up on Foxxy's room later that evening. Hero sits on the bed while Foxxy stands talking to him. Hero: Wow! So you think he might be your real father? Foxxy: It's not for sure... but the signs do seem to point in that direction! Hero: So how do you feel about this? Do you want him to be your father? Foxxy: (thinking) Yes. Yes, I do. Hero: He'd ...
RICHARD THE THIRD PERSON The show opens on a long shot of the house. The scene changes to the interior, where we see all the housemates sitting around watching TV. Family Guy is on. Peter: (on TV) Hey, Lois, can you get in the kitchen and get me a sandwich? Lois: Get you a sandwich? I swear, Peter, that's even more degrading than the time I used to work for R. Kelly! Cut to a teenaged Lois...
(Read Part 1.) Toot (in confessional): I finally caught up with Wooldoor at the beer counter. He was guzzling down cup after cup absolutely drunk out of his mind. (She looks at the camera angrily.) No, I did not JOIN him! Beer vendor: Lady, this is a free country! Your little yellow friend has a right to buy all the beer he wants! Toot: He's underage! Didn't you even card him? Beer ...
FOUL BALLS The show opens on a long shot of the house. Spanky, Wooldoor, Hero, Toot, Ling-Ling, and Xandir are sitting in the living room watching TV. News anchor: (on TV) And after a 17 day search, authorities were finally able to locate the head. (He puts his paper aside.) And now here's Carol with the weather. Spanky: Guys, is there any reason we're watching the noonday news? Xandir: So...
(Read Part 1.) Cut to Hero and Foxxy's room. Both are undressed and in bed. Foxxy holds a remote control while Hero holds a packet of nuts in his hand. Hero: (spitting violently) Ecch! These peanuts taste like crap! Foxxy: I always did say those minibar snacks was overrated! Hero: (puts the packet on the table next to him in disgust) Forget it! I'm not paying for those! I'll just have ...
SKI BLANKET BINGO The show opens on a long shot of the house. The scene cuts to the upstairs hallway. Wooldoor and Xandir, both extremely irritated, are dragging a very large mattress down the hall. Captain Hero's logo is very prominently embossed all over the mattress. Exhausted, Xandir stops. Xandir: That's it, Wooldoor. I can't go anymore. I'm sorry. Wooldoor: Xandir, I'm going to tell ...
(Read Part 1.) Hero (in confessional): I was more determined than ever to marry Foxxy. And if Toot wasn't going to let us go first... well, there was only one thing left for me and Foxxy to do- elope! Cut to Hero in the kitchen surveying the scene in the living room. Toot, Marty, Foxxy, and Spanky are gathered around. Toot: And that's when I was appointed Queen of the Non-Sequiturs! ...
CATARACTS OF JEALOUSY The show opens on a long shot of the house. The scene cuts to the interior where we see Toot and Marty sitting on the couch with a very large binder on the table in front of them. Gathered around the two are Foxxy, Clara, Wooldoor, Spanky, and Ling-Ling. Toot: Clara, you and Foxxy can sing at the wedding on one condition. You play guitar and sing naked like you did in ...
(Read Part 1.) Wooldoor (in confessional): Spanky and Hero and I decided to get into our winter clothes and play in the snow together! We were going to build a snowman and have a snowball fight and build a snowfort and make snow angels, and then afterward Spanky said he'd show us all how to write our names in the snow! It was going to be the best day ever! Cut to the guys in the hallway ...
I'M DREAMING OF A BLACK AND WHITE CHRISTMAS The show opens on a long shot of the house. The scene changes to Xandir's bedroom where we see Xandir looking into his closet with disapproval. Xandir: No... no... no... darn it, none of these outfits seem right! Spanky: (walking in) What's the matter, Xandir? None of them seem gay enough? Xandir: Oh, I can't believe this! I'm supposed to go to ...