People often accuse me of being too particular when it comes to dating. I have zero desire to date, but if I hypothetically did, I have begun to compile a list of people I refuse to date. Call me a picky girl with high standards... I actually take that as a compliment.

People I Will Not Date:

1: Men with bad facial hair, of which I will be the sole determiner
2: Anyone who wears socks with sandals
3: Anyone who is 2+ years younger than me
4: Anyone who uses phrases such as "if you will" or "well you know what they say"
5: Anyone who talks about the "theories" of evolution or global warming
6: Anyone, but especially men, who make ANY kind of derogatory comments about women or think sexist jokes/stories are in any way funny. I will be the judge of what constitutes derogatory.
7: Anyone you uses racial, ethnic, sexual, or homophobic slurs
8: Anyone who constantly carries a backpack or worse, a messenger bag. Anyone who owns a fanny pack for any purpose whatsoever.
9: Anyone who talks in abbreviations or "leet" and says things such as "Mad Ave" or "Pwned"
10: Anyone who plays more than 2 hours of video games a week
11: Anyone who owns or encourages ownership of iphones, thick-rimmed glasses, plaid or novelty ties, or leather products
12: Anyone who is in any way politically, religiously, or socially conservative
13: Anyone who wears band shirts
14: Smokers/potheads/"social" drug users
15: Anyone who consumes more than 10 alcoholic drinks per week, maximum
16: Anyone who has not finished or is not currently enrolled in college
17: Anyone who is unemployed or is not rigorously looking for employment
18: Anyone who calls him or herself an "artist"
19: Anyone who tries to impress me by playing the guitar or by showing me his or her "pieces" or "raw spaces"
20: Men who wear too much hair gel
21: Anyone with an exorbitant number of tattoos
22: Anyone with a septum piercing
22: Anyone who cannot spell the word "definitely"
23: Anyone who insults or interrupts me at all EVER
24: Men who wear jewelry
25: Anyone who makes loud, rude, obnoxious, or in any other way offensive comments, noises, etc. in public
26: Anyone who does the aforementioned things in private
27: Anyone who rags on vegetarianism. Similarly anyone who describes themselves as a "carnivore"
28: Anyone who is incapable of being serious
29: Anyone who is only ever serious
30: Anyone who cannot take criticism
31: Anyone who is needy, clingy, overly affectionate, or down with PDA
32: Anyone with an overactive sex drive
33: Anyone who dislikes cats
34: Anyone who doesn't have a driver's license
35: Anyone dirty
36: Anyone who thinks they are more important than the other people in my life, my current projects, and/or my potential career
37: Anyone who thinks they are funnier, more clever, more intelligent, or in any other way better than me
38: Anyone who uses or has ever to my knowledge used a pick-up line
39: Anyone who owns cowboy boots, unless I am currently in a Southwestern state (Southern states do not count)
40: Anyone who is an avid gym rat, shops only from the "lite" section of the grocery store, or refers to him or herself as "health conscious"
41: Girls who call me their "partner" their "special friend" or their "significant other"
42: Anyone not willing to relocate to a different city, maybe country
43: Anyone who talks during movies, in or out of the theater
44: Anyone who finds it acceptable to strike up conversations with random strangers
45: Anyone who uses the words "intifada" "inculcate" "die-hard" "red-blooded" "true-blue"... there are so many more
46: Anyone who identifies as "punk rock"
47: Anyone who listens to "experimental" music
48: Men who wear plaid bermuda shorts and/or tank tops, bleach their "shag", or own a visor
49: Anyone who goes tanning
50: "Bros"/"players"

I told myself I would stop at 50, though this list is in NO WAY exhaustive. Perhaps this speaks to why I am single, and more so why I WANT to be single. I remain unapologetic about this list, and while I have many friends who fit into these categories, I feel like being in an intimate and committed romantic relationship with someone is a different story, so don't be offended (or maybe do be offended, if your offense is especially egregious) Maybe I'll add to this later if I think of some particularly fun ones.