It seems these days most of what I do is sleep --> commute --> try to learn a billion things all at once and not freak out --> commute --> sleep

I DID go up to Portland and had a really great experience teaching classes up there. If you wanna read about that it is on an ALT post. http://alt.com/blog/7/post_476850.html. Like there. It was fun. I wish John had been able ot come with me though. Being a pervert rockstar gets lonely sometimes.

The main drawback to the office is that we have no windows so it is kinda disorienting. But it helps to focus, I suppose, and man do I need to do that. Well, I also need to remember to fucking breathe and take a walk in the fucking sun now and then. I freak out every time I don't know something than I remember "Dude you have like, really, maybe 2 days of instruction and you have only been there for a couple of weeks. Barely. I’m getting is,

/>My friends Andra did this Hilary Clinton crunchy-ass folksong on YouTube that is taking off, much to her amusement and surprise. And my gigglebitchness.




I haven't sipped from either vat of Fla-Vor-Aide, but I like that a Kinky Lesbian Goth woman is the new voice for Hilary.

Um...what else....

I have been having insanely vivid dreams of late. Strange ones. One was this surreal German Imressionista Ansel Adams / Robert Mappelthorpe-esque walk through a surreal woods type of thing that featured cindymonkey making me walk and rock climb / hike over and under and around these crumbling pewter driftwood logs and trees that were formed into pathways and foot holds on the side of these cliffs and things. The dirt was volcanic and black and got on everything. There were petticoats and bustles and corsets and there were NO shoes. Allegedly there were mice in the umbrellas. The dirty feet were an issue, as naked feet outdoors is Something That Makes me Nervous.

I had another dream over the weekend. It was a Busby Berkeley polar bear dance, the apex of which featured a waifish Louise Brooks type girl helping a polar bear give birth. It was all in cold black and white and really stylized and beautiful until the polar bears in the inner concentric circle turned on the woman and tore her apart in really graphic detailed slow motion. The blood was really red.

I am in an interesting state of mind.

Like I am observing rather than inhabiting my skin.

I don’t feel unhappy or sad or numb.

Just….about an inch smaller than my outside.