So I typed up all my top 10's and that , its full of the same old bad sentence structure (believe it or not I can actually use punctuation and everything) and over excitable rantyness
I only posted like FILMS, TV, ANIME, DOWNLOADABLE GAMES and GAMES. and chances are that ive missed whole sections of text out or something is out of place... and of course its riddled with bad english and dubious choices.





Films, Films, Films and even more movey-picturey things. The longer I stare at this list, The longer I try to convince myself that is is weird and wrong and mostly an act of sleep deprived idiocy. The thing is though… This totally is my 08 top ten 100% full of certainty and Neilness.

Some other notable films. The Mist, No country for old men, juno annndd justice league: the new frontier.

1 - Mukoh Hadan. Sword of the stranger

Yes I like anime and No I would never put an anime film at #1 if I didn’t truly think it was my favourite film of the year. You know all of those Kurosawa samurai classics? Well this is absolutely nothing like them. Its about a boy and his dog that end up on the run from some Chinese soldiers that hire a nameless samurai to get them back home. Now I will be the first to admit that I’m not really fond of mid 80’s to early 90’s ultraviolent anime. And Mukoh Hadan is easily the most violent piece of Japanese animation I have seen all year full of blood and limb loss but when In conjunction with studio BONES fluid and beautiful animation It is truly a sight to behold. The action sequences are so wonderfully choreographed full of blinding speed and movement and are easily the best of their kind I have seen this year. Although The film if full of amazing action It is not its strongest point. The long stretches of relationship building between the boy and the samurai are genuinely touching, The dog one of the cutest creations ever and topped with an epic stirring score I have nothing but endless love for this film.

Best moment – The Final battle, Just truly breathtaking and beautifully animated.

2 – Wall.E

Blah, Blah another cartoon. We’ve all seen it right. Wall.E is cute, Eve is bizarrely hot, the spaceship sequences aren’t as good as the first half but still a billion miles ahead of the competition. Its surprising Disney have their name on such an incredibly bleak outlook on the future of humanity. Pixars second finest easily… yeah I said it, Fuck you the Incredibles is better and you KNOW IT!

Best moment - Is he, isn’t he…no he can’t be dead.

3 – Son of Rambow

My favourite film of the year featuring John Rambo. And my favourite “oh my god they made that movie for me” movie of the year. Utterly charming story about two boys that decide to make a sequel for rambow, set in the 80s and full of silly little moments that make me smile like an idiot, The Sixth former room that’s like a night club with lines of sherbet with kids being sick outside, the-sub story about the too cool for school French exchange student. And the wonderfully wonderful film sequences that come from little boys overactive imaginations. Two really notable things about this film stand out from a purely personal point of view… Holding water in your mouth like a balloon for as long as possible and marking kills with pine cone hand grenades. I really need to see this again NOW! (also one of two entries with siouxie and the banshees songs used to awesome effect)

Best moment – conversation with the cow.

4 – Doomsday

And number two banshees song used in conjunction with cannibalism…YAY!
If there was ever a rival to the Milla Jovovich “most awesome at killing dudes in the face” crown Rhona Mitra would be in the front runners after this film. Utterly bonkers in absolutely every way possible. Scotland is diseased and gets all escape from new yorked… where everyone has reverted back to medieval times in a matter of like 15 years. Sometimes the survivors in Scotland Dress like they were in a Mad Max movie and like to eat people like poor old sean pertwee, probably the unluckiest man in the history of cinema. Glossy, absurd has a fight with a knight at a castle very close to where I live. An awesome sequence where more knights first reaction to coming across a door is to cut down a tree and create a battering ram. Probably the funniest film I have seen this year, gore-filled stupidity with a side dish of dumb all from the director of the Descent and Dog soldiers.

Best moment - I think the whole film is a best moment.

5 – Speed Racer

You know That film nobody saw that had like cars n’ stuff in it and jack from lost doing kung fu, Yknow the one that looked like it would give your children epilecptic seizures? Well I guarantee that in ten years time you will probably love it along with everyone else that claims they loved it first time round. The story is silly and predictable like the cartoon it was based upon, The driving sequences are like nothing you have ever seen before and the sequence towards the end where speed is running through all of his families speeches and sayings is one of the most air punching moments I saw all year. I left the cinema glowing with excitement like I wanted to go drive fast cars up sleep icy cliffsides probably what the wachowskis intended. This film was made for people like me and young boys that dream of cars and robots and dinosaurs and spaceships. And it was fully in IMAX unlike some other film everyone loves this year…

Best moment - the springing car in the desert where jack from lost punches the other driver in the face!

6 – National Treasure 2 : book of secrets

Fisrtly… FUCK YOU! I saw it, That look on your face. That look of judgement like all of my opinions are of no worth anymore. But seriously Probably the best case of low expectations and a horrible mindset being changed by an utterly silly action adventure romp (yeah, I totally said romp) Do you remember that kinda bad Indiana jones movie out this year? National treasure wants to be that film. Do you remember that godawful Mummy movie out this year, The one that wants to be Indiana jones?... National treasure wants to be that movie. And it was more fun than both. I don’t really mind if Nicholas cage looks weird or the illogical storytelling, this film had jon voight doddering about like he didn’t know where he was, Helen Mirren not sure if she can do an American accent so she just switches between both. Silly car chases, “lovely bunch of bananas” stereotyping, ed harris disappearing and people throughout history leaving clues for Nicholas cage to find incase Nicholas cage needs to have to find clues….. He also kidnaps the president and finds out about area 51. If you were 10 this would be the greatest thing ever and seeing as I think like a ten year old it kinda was the greatest thing ever.

Best moment – Using a speed camera to take a photograph of a piece of wood left conveniently throughout time in a desk with a puzzle (complete with corgi pictures) for Nicholas cage to work out.

7 – In Bruges

Two hitmen In Bruges….

Colin Farrell karate chops a coked up racist dwarf in the neck. And stomps around like a little boy that’s lost his toys. Doesn’t want to see jesus blood and is generally unpleasant but absolutely funny as hell. Im really glad I saw this film, A really original take on the whole brit-gangster genre guy ritchie masturbates over… and did I mention…

The karate chopping of a dwarf??

Best moment - The stairway chat before the shooting starts

8 – The Dark Knight

Everyone has an opinion on it… It was really good and the ending pisses me off. Lets leave it at that, ok?

Best moment – The bank heist at the beginning (even if the extended version was better)

9 – There Will Be Blood

That ending! That’s what separates this from No country. I saw these films one week after another and TWBB’s ending is absolutely brilliant wheras No country’s isn’t very good at all. (it is not because I didn’t “Get it”, Its just not very good) The film is completely gripping mostly due to Daniel day lewis brilliant performance as a man only interested in how to get one up on everyone else even if that means adopting a fake (easily discarded) son to make himself look like a better, family man. I did complain to my friend at the time that although the performances are brilliant , the cinematography beautiful and the score haunting that there wasn’t really all that much of a story underneath and that is my only real complaint about such a compelling film. Maybe that is just my stupidity though… I totally am into national treasure 2 afterall.

Best moment - The bowling alley at the end.

10 – Tropic Thunder

After years of being disgusted by almost anything Ben stiller touched post Zoolander I was given The awesomeness that was Tropic Thunder. And like the film above there is one performance and only one that made this film. As funny as it is seeing Alan partridge explode or stiller wearing a dead panda on his head There was one man being completely unpolitically correct and that was the blacked up Robert downey jr as the most extreme method actor on the planet. “I’m a lead farmer motherfucker!” or the “never go full retard” are two of the most quotable lines in any film this year. Even tom cruises cameo as a movie producer is funny (but could have totally been trimmed) The biggest misstep is probably anything jack black does, He is completely unlikeable and unfunny in this film. Maybe that was the point, Who knows. After some really boring or mediocre comedies this year Tropic thunder really worked both as a comedy and a scathing attack on Hollywood, Its still downey jr’s film though.

Best moment – as mentioned before “im a lead farmer mortherfucker”



TV

I watch tv, yeah I do..I like it…. There has been a lot of really good episodes of things in amongst mediocre seasons of usually excellent shows. Supernatural being a really good example with its kind of shocking ending. Terminator on the other hand is consistently “good” but never makes me say “Oh god I wanna see the next episode right now!”

Notable mentions: Terminator: sarah connor chronicles, Fringe, Supernatural

1 – Lost

I still Like re-enacting the moment ben went all Jason bourne, It was one of the greatest moments in tv … I think possibly ever, Unlike fringe which I feel hasn’t fully found its footing yet jj abrams other show has become increasingly more awesome with an ending in sight and the creators finally commiting to sci-fi and timetravel albeit in a very lost-y way. But as much as I like to point out that ben is one of the greatest characters on TV today it was Desmonds incredibly emotional episode “The constant” that made the tiny run of episodes so very memorable. The new characters introduced were a mixed bag though… Daniel being the standout with his quirky skittery ways and ties to desmond. Now lost has direction I cant wait for it to return… and dude, that wasn’t john locke ina coffin…I refuse to accept the finest specimen of man alive is dead!

Best moment – Ben going all bourne!

2 – Pushing Daisies

Were still at season 1 in the UK (I refuse to download it) I adore everything about it despite its sickly sweet nature. Chuck is awesome and emerson is always funny. Its nice to see a cast completely comprised of likeable characters and fun storylines despite it being primarily about death… oh, it got cancelled? Really? Fuck you!!

Best moment - Child chuck stomping on a city of plasticine people.

3 – Dr Horribles sing along blog

Technically not TV but I guess internet TV is the future of TV so it should be accepted. Nathan fillion singing you say?, NPH as a super villain? Some other girl from buffy in it?.... JOSS FUCKIN WHEDON! If you are unsure about my devotion to all things whedon then I guess you’ve stumbled upon my LJ randomly or yknow you don’t really know me. I loved Dr Horrible. Its because I love musicals even if whedon hadn’t had any hand in it… joss or his brother It would probably have still been an amazing Its such a brilliant concept how could anyone have messed it up.

Best moment - The end song of part one with Nathan fillion standing, singing on top of a moving van.

4 - The Clone Wars

I am aware of how some hate the clone wars, mostly based on the OK movie but the TV series is a different beast indeed, I have to say it consistently holds my attention and does things on tv that just couldn’t be done by anyone other than lucasfilm. I love its painterly look and I think it sometimes has really amazingly composed shots and some space battles almost as good as their film counterparts. I get that it uses the roger roger droids as a constant comic relief and I get that it has been kidified .. but seriously not to the point of it being unbearable. I might even go as far as to say for a western cartoon it is pretty daring with the amount of death on screen. Try it you may actually be surprised about how well made it actually is.

Best moment - Ahsoka fight against general grevious in a store room type thing.

5 – Dexter

Very, very different from the first series, darker humour and a much faster pace with dexter being the target of the police and his steps (and a lot of luck) to try and outwit them at every turn, It’s a shame doakes died because I loved his exchanges with dexter but that bitch lilah totally got what she deserved (yes, we are waaaaaay behind)

Best moment – stabbing lilah in france after she thinks shes gotten away.

6 - Mad men

Its totally not all guns and explosions in my viewing habits, I am really fond of the political incorrectness and cruelty that comes from the mouths of these advertising men in the 60s. The setting and the bitchiness from both the male and the female characters is really compelling despite there not actually being all that much going on. I hear the second season concentrates much less on Dons mysterious past which actually sounds good because I never gave all that much of a fuck in the first place.

Best moment -

7 – Chuck

Its still dumb and its still fun, the game references haven’t shown up yet to my disappointment (minus a Cod4 joke) yet they seem to have been replaced by back to the future jokes (someone owns fore by hewey lewis and theyre gonna use it!) I have to admit this second run has been more comedy focussed than stupid spy action focussed and the producers are still totally into girls fighting each other in A: Rain,B: a shower or something similar (probably involving underwear) Chuck is still likeable but theres been a definite lack of chuck-morgan interplay which is upsetting…and give me back my silly game references!

Best moment - “ The man who created missile command actually commands missiles!”

8 – Battlestar Galactica

I nearly forgot about this… they got to earth, earth is bust and callie died… it was really depressing and really awesome all at the same time… I don’t really know what to say other than it has stunning effects and its more about drama than sci-fi (like I type every year) gaius is pretty great as some kind of prophet… I can add that, ok, great DONE!

Best moment - probably the shocking airlock moment because you just don’t expect it to happen.

9 – The Unit

Something deep inside me loves this macho, men bonding with guns kind of shit, The unit is always well written and sometimes filled with Hollywood shaming action sequences. There was an episode where one of the core unit members died where one of the other characters bleeding from a bullet wound was all like “bro take my gun” It stirred up something very boyish inside. Also Y’Know Dennis Haysbert… HE RULES YOUR FACE!

Best moment – the last stand in the episode I mentioned above

10 - Doctor Who

A return to form after that horrible last series concentrating more on running about and silliness with the occasional creepy episode here and there like the library planet episodes or the one on the space train, Catherine tate was an OK assistant I never really liked her or hated her and always find the writers insistence of going back to Martha completely baffling because you couldn’t get a lamer character…. Mickey you say ..*sigh* The end episode where she lost all her memories where she became another half of the doctor were well done and kind of sad but the new ending for rose tyler kind of left a bitter taste in the mouth almost making me want to hate the really good episodes that proceeded it.

Best moment - The water pistol against the lava monsters



Anime

It has been a mediocre year…..

Notable mentions: xxxHolic kei

1 - Nijuu Mensou no Musume ( The Daughter of 20 faces)

The Anime show I love yet never talk about, maybe Im just not trying to get so excited that I end up hating it or something. I adore The way the show is set in the late 50s early 60s and I adore how it shifted from being a bout a gang of con artists and thieves to the hunt for 20 faces. The Main character grows from child to early teen in about 8 episodes going from being the apprentice of a thief back to the heir of a small fortune living with her auntie that wants to kill her. Shifting from light hearted fun lupin the 3rdesque caper episodes to slightly disturbing action orientated episodes where women can turn into dolls and men enhance themselves into giant metal wearing machines. The closest Thing I can think of in comparison is some of the later fullmetal alchemist episodes but it really isn’t like that at all, Its far more grounded in reality for the most part. Some of the acrobatic/fight sequences are so amazingly balletic and make it incredibly exciting to watch. Its kinda a shame nobody really cares about it though because It is definitely one of the more original things in a long time and never ever does it resort to knickershot fanservice.

Best moment - The acrobatic face off between the men in suits when she is cornered after a job


2- Detroit Metal City

Oh I LOVE how DMC doesn’t care about who it offends, Its about a boy thats in a semi popular death metal band but hates the music he is writing (songs like slut symphony and grotesque) and would rather be busking on a side street singing twee indie songs about strawberries and clouds. Each episode is only 13 minutes long and guaranteed to offend someone, somewhere with a manager that always talks about how wet she’s getting to the high usage of words like rape and murder usually in conjunction with someones parents… someones dead parents. Its incredibly amusing to see each week when Negishi is going to revert to his Krauser II personality (usually when he is trying to be nice to his twee indie loving almost-girlfriend) some amazing sequences involving onstage band battles and a brilliant tv performance where the band attack indie band tetrapod melon tea in the middle of their song… absolutely fantastic and makes me giggle uncontrollably… who would have thought the terribly drawn cow midway through the season would have been such an important part of the end?

Best moment – Easily the fake Krauser who may or may not be Jamaican.

3 - Code Geass : Lelouch of the Rebellion R2

Robots, explosions, intrigue, action, excitement, insanity, double crossing, triple crossing, quadruple crossing and a healthy dose of pizza hut advertisement. Stupid Japanese entertainment at its most overblown and awesome… and Lelouch totally died at the end. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Best moment - “All hail Lelouch!!!”

4 – Casshern Sins

This should be terrible, robots walk around a wasteland and try to kill a perfect robot named casshern who is possibly the ruiner of the world complete with retro designs and minimal dialogue. Casshern manages to have these sweeping almost poetic fight sequences, stunning art design and some of the most heartbreakingly sad sequences I have ever seen. In fact the overall bleakness never really lets up ever and I could see how some would hate it for that. The show is consistently excellent though with not a single boring episode despite its love for atmospherics over storytelling.

Best moment - the fight between lunas guard and dio

5 - Bounen no Xamdou (Xam’d)

F’ Yeah! Bones with their alternate earthlike worlds and rich universes, The closest thing to compare this to would be Eureka 7 especially in its looks and the world the characters inhabit, the story on the other hand is very different mixing religion and war and a lot about what it is to be part of a family. Following a postal ship a boy named akiyuki gets caught up in something bigger than he would like when a girl gives him the power to become a xam’d and he begins to fight other, similar creatures
When a girl named nakiami staps him in his arm with a staff before he forgets himself. The story is a little too hard to explain in a small paragraph but what I can say is that although primarily an action adventure as I said recently the dramatic aspects are a lot, lot stronger and despite some hokeyness here and there I have really become absorbed in the world BONES have created.

Best moment - defending the postal ship from humanform attacks

6 - Soul Eater

What would a boyish action show like Naruto or Bleach be like if it had the director of Ouran Highschool Host club … It would be like soul eater full of colour and memorable characters amazing fights. The designs for the characters are so unique from Dr stein and his patchworked look to black stars obvious parody of a naruto character to a witch that looks like a cute little frog. I have to admit I didn’t care much for the first few episodes but as the characters bonded and the storyline became more epic and elements of danger were introduced. The main seven or so characters each with wonderful quirks like Death the kid (deaths kid) and his obsession with symmetry and black star liking to announce his stealthiness to the world during a ninja mission. The interplay between all of the main kids at the adacemy is really nice and they all seem like they are genuinely friends (weird for a cartoon, huh?) Maka and soul have a nice relationship and crona is a brilliant example of a character that can go from being dopey to someone you wouldn’t want to mess with in a dark alley…. Also did I mention... There is AWESOME FIGHT SEQUENCES in it, Oh yeah!

Best moment - There is so many fight sequences that are truly memorable but the best one so far would have to be the first face off against arachnophobia and her minion with the homunculus(?)

7 - Kaiba

All about memory loss and kind of trippy, beautiful tezuka-like visuals and imaginative things like the memory jumping gun, There is absolutely nothing like kaiba in the world of anime. Much darker and less about the love story it was labelled as originally and definitely not for children despite the art it contains. Charming, disturbing and really really original.

Best moment – The insane uber-robot battle

8 - Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto: Natsu no Sora

A name so long I totally copy and pasted it! Absolutely adorable thing about a girl from the country that moves to the city to join a magic school, where the students are asked to do magic for clients. and all about the friendships between a handful of students all trying to hone their magic skills. Despite having magic It is set almost in the real world yet once removed with magic and has these nice backgrounds like anime-i-fied photographs. The ending is sad, really sad and genuinely made me teary which kind of justifies being in my top 10 as that is a rare feat indeed. No super powered fighting here, or guns or explosions. Just witty conversations and an occasional magic spell… sounds terrible I know… Its absolutely brilliant though.

Best moment - The really touching end sequence underneath the tree.

9 – Michiko to Hatchin

I said a few months back “probably the coolest thing youll see all year” I was completely wrong!
I was expecting samurai champloo or cowboy bebop with a latino girl what I got was something so very different, so full of casual violence and weirdly mild dislike between the two major characters. The story so far ahs been very simple about two girls looking for a man one of them his lover (probably) and the other his daughter (probably) there is occasionally some fighting but unlike the above mentioned shows that share staff michiko isn’t about kung fu or shooting at people, shes tough but can easily get beaten down. I really like that she puts up a stone wall yet really is very caring when it comes to protecting the ten year old hatchin . Despite hatchins age she is definitely the more mature of the two and tough in her own little way picking fights with boys in the streets of rio de janeiro and occasionally getting drunk on orange juice. As I said Not what I expected at all but it always entertains and is that rare kind of anime where it seems like it was designed more for a western audience than the Japanese.

Best moment - the really shocking ending of the episode about the stripper and her younger sister.

10 – Toshokan Sensou : Library wars

And the dumbest story award goes to…. The one about the soldiers fighting to protect books in a so called “library war” I loved the characters It reminded me like last years pumpkin scissors. The action stuff was secondary and the blossoming relationship between the lead girl and her superior was really entertaining. I’d really like to see a sequel of some kind but I don’t know if there would be much more to tell other than expanding on the war side of things, the side that admittedly I was least interested in.

Best moment - punching a bear during the first night of training



Downloadable Games

There has been a stupidly high increase in the quality of downloadable games this year, some of them coming close to proper retail quality with Sony having a more quirky and original lineup than the more hardcore offerings on Live arcade.

I also now HATE banjo kazooie with a passion.

Notable mentions : Wolf quest (pc), Wolf of the battlefield (xbl), Lostwinds (ww)

1- Braid (XBL)

Without a doubt the most original title of the year on any system, At first glance what is a simple 2D platformer of the past becomes an ingenious, timeshifting puzzler with more emotional weight and atmosphere than a hundred JRPG’s I have never seen debate like what followed the journal entries or the ending of the game especially over a game, especially over a small independent downloadable game with talk about references to The first Nuclear bomb dropped or 9/11. My puny brain understood as far as it being about coming of age and being left devastated by the end of a relationship. Nobody has really come out and given a definite answer to what it was about and I really like that, completely open to interpretation from the almost crude sprites to the painterly backgrounds and puzzles to build. Braid is a the kind of game that leaves a massive impression on anyone that has played it through to completion like last years portal. It is funny that for all the claims of art this and art that in the games community all it took was a tiny little game with references to super mario brothers to prove that games could indeed be art. (as much as I kind of hate saying it)

Best moment – Chasing the princess and then time rewinding

2 - Castle Crashers (XBL)

On the other end of the spectrum is the incredibly beautifully animated 2D sprite hack-em up with RPG elements, elements so incredibly shallow that even the stupidest of 13 year olds could understand… hit stuff makes points, points make you more powerful. I like to point out at every turn this is the kind of game Scott Pilgrim would play, A new version of final fight or streets of rage, scroll to the right and then hit one of 3 buttons until everything on the screen is dead and then move on. The animation Is beautiful and the quirky mix of 8bitesque, dance, rock and drum n bass music really makes the game shine. The humour is consistent throughout despite being incredibly childish, alien abductions, pooing bears, half cat-fish mutants, medieval robots that create killer cartoons, ninjas on a pirate ship and that awesome Spanish waltz when you visit a shop…ever wanted to hit a 2D troll with a giant carrot?... this is the game for you.

Best moment - “My art will be your demise!”

3 – Ratchet & Clank: Quest for Booty. (PSN)

After last years brilliant yet kind of disappointing when compared to previous games “tools of destruction” I was happy to see that I would be getting some kind of R&C fix this year even If you could finish it in one three hour sitting, I was hugely surprised to see that this downloadable game was like an episodic version of the full games, like a one off fix like a movie, full of some brilliant robot-ghost pirate humour and some pretty fancy puzzles being more platform than combat focussed. That’s not to say there isn’t a moment near the end where You get into probably one of the hugest firefights in all of the ratchet games combined. I thoroughly enjoyed the game for what it was and was amused way more times than in the full game from last year. Heres to hoping next years game will ditch some of the seriousness and go for a much lighter tone like this.

Best moment - The beach assault.

4- N+ (XBL)

The other day I was chatting to Fiona on XBLand all of a sudden I was like “FUCK YOU!” she replied with “Are you playing N+” N+ is the biggest “FUCK YOU!” game out there, Platforming at its simplest, get from A to B and don’t die…. You will see your little ninja die thousands upon thousands of times but continue to play it regardless of it making you want to punch kittens in the face. Absolutely brilliant in all of its frustratingly simple ways and it totally lets you make your own levels. (there is totally a free flash based PC version out there)

Best moment – creating my own level where you have to go inside a dinosaur via its bum.

5 – Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (XBL)

I love that full title. Ever played streetfighter 2? Yes of course everyone has its like that but with redrawn sprites and updated music and everything… I can do a mean Chun-li and online is full of ryu/ken HADOOOOOOOUUKEN spammers but y’know It’s still perfectly balanced even after all this time. I once had a picture of myself dressed up like ryu doing a fireball… It was pretty awesome.

Best moment - playing the game with my friend using rock band instruments

6 – Audiosurf (PC)

I haven’t played it for a while but this is definitely steams little jewel, theres coloured blocks and you have to hit them with your spaceship and it moves reaaaaally fast and you can use your own songs and get highscores on them and everything.

Best moment - Being the Highest score on Guns N Roses Back off bitch for about 12 seconds

7 – Super Stardust HD (post patch) (PSN)

2007, yeah whatevs! After SSHD was patched with different gamemodes and was the first game to include trophies I feel completely justified with its inclusion. You shoot asteroids and they explode into littler asteroids and then aliens and bosses turn up and you shoot them, The best twitch based shooter of this generation by a mile. Others swear by geometry wars but SSHD is where its at.

Best moment - Getting the trophy for staying alive for five minutes or whatever it was

8 – Bionic Commando ReArmed (XBL)

Some people swear that the original Nes game is one of the greatest games ever made. But I have played it recently and its full of stupidly hard level design and annoying respawning enemies, The full on remake with incredible speaker destroying electroicified(real term) soundtrack and fancy 3D graphics tones down a lot of the frustrations of the original with an ability to save and more lenient life bar, that’s not to say that there isn’t sections where the game verget only just on the right side of frustrating with some really strange choices like the 3 lives per level option. There is definitely some incredible moments of swinging over chasms and shooting at robot bosses and the game is dripping with style making it a whole bunch of fun even if its not all that pick up and play friendly.

Best moment - Hitler who isn’t Hitler getting his face all splotched!

9 – WipeOut HD

Future racing is fast…and pretty and the new wipeout is exactly like the older wipeout games, really punnishing and demanding perfection at every turn and loop
A lot of fun online and really good for a quick shot of speed…and it looks Oh so very pretty.

Best moment - Probably any time I can actually win a race.

10 – Dorito’s Dash of Destruction (XBL)

My hatred for the Yaris advergame is on a higher plain than even Ecco the dolphin and the dorito’s game that was free should be hated just as much only that this game lets you destroy cities and chase Doritos trucks to eat as a Dinosaur….. doritosaurus rex to be precise…. And when you finish one of six levels you get upgraded with mecha-dino parts utterly bonkers and completely honest in that “Dude, this is totally an advert” kind of way. Silly fifteen minutes of fun I will probably never play again..and oh yeah the EASIEST 200 achievement points I have ever gotten…. For FREE!

Best moment - Clunkclunkclunkclunk after the first level was complete



Games

Dude, I totally Iz into the gamez….
I have just started Valkyria chronicles and may or may not have played a tiny bit of fable 2 by the time I post this.

Notable mentions: Tomb Raider: Underworld (360) Beautiful Katamari (360) Rock Band (360)

1 - Metal Gear Solid 4 : Guns of the patriots (PS3)

I am a little Metal Gear fanboyish… a little. And MGS4 was 100% fanservice from the shadow moses flashback to the ending that ties every loose end it possibly can over its 50 minute duration. Whole story points from other games discarded with answers like “its just nanomachines” and little nods to previous games all over the place. Its hard to describe the game as anything other than being for the fans, To the uninitiated It is probably much, much too hard to swallow. Long drawn out dialogue that desperately needs an editor followed by the biggest, most overblown set pieces the biggest summer blockbuster would die to have. What makes the game truly special though Is its ability to blur the lines between cinema and videogame. I am under no illusions that if this was ported directly to a cinema screen that it would be deemed a terrible movie but this is not a movie, It is in love with and strives to be yet is firmly rooted in the game world. I will mention one sequence in particular where you are tasked with crawling along a radiated tunnel with snake burning up all the game asks of you is to hammer the triangle button with the screen splitting in two and showing a sea battle between two ships in the top half leaving the bottom half to your control of snake. The music and the movie playing in the top half with the animation and look of pain and struggle as it tells you to hammer faster making you struggle like the character inside of the game is a truly one of the greatest achievements in gaming since pong. The beginnings of Interactive cinema NOW! Amazing interactive fight/action/robot sequences aside (you totally get to fight a metal gear with another metal gear!) The game is leaps and bounds ahead of the others in the series with satisfying combat and some clever stealth mechanics using the new suit, The bosses are suitably epic showdowns and there is an on rails motorbike section in the middle that will possibly/maybe/probably make you punch the air at the sheer amount of awesome on the screen. MGS4 takes the existing formula and shakes it about a bit shuffling yet never changing the core game design and then sprinkles it in a story so silly, so stupid, so overblown that you will either fall in love with it or hate it with a passion. The best game of the past five years let alone 2008. I <3 you solid snake

Best moment - the Radiated hallway (among a trillion others)

2 – Gears of war 2 (360)

Look at that beautiful art design, no really check out the architecture. Its pretty as hell.
Gears 2 is bigger, better and more badass just like cliffy B kept saying There is no game out there that has more satisfying extreme, chunky, meaty violence than this. Marcus still loves dom and dom loves Marcus that’s a fact but so is a chainsaw attached to the bottom of a gun being awesome! Add to this the brilliant “shit reaverrrr!” moments and the more open environments and a lot more engaging storyline about finding doms missing wife. The core game is identical to the original from a couple of years ago which in itself was pretty perfect. The Cole Train is still the greatest thing since sliced bread (complete with amazing introduction video) and the inclusion on the team based horde mode was probably the games stroke of genius… like chainsawing dudes up into bacon bits…with friends??? Gears 2 is for you!

Best moment - The big bloody mess that was inside the giant rockworm

3 – Dead Space (360)

Doom 3 sucked, all atmosphere and no content. Dead space is probably the evolution of doom 3 all space horror and alien menace, really twisted or ingenious tools/weaponry depending on your view of things and some spectacular sights and sounds, Dead space is atmospheric from the first room to the final boss. In love with alien and event horizon in its look and what a beautiful look the game has, Dead space has some of the best graphics of a game this generation so far. I cannot describe how amazing it was to run across the outside of a ship in zero g or when I entered the deck as asteroids are incoming. The aliens (composed of bits of human) are fast and creepy and unpredictable in the way they move screaming as you laser cut their limbs off to stop them from running at you. I will be the first to admit that the frights wear off towards the end opening up the game into a more sci-fi action kind of thing but the length and variety of things you do throughout and initial dread as you dock with the ishimura are totally golden. Also surprisingly Dead space is probably the first game I have ever played to have the most genuine sounding “I love you” believe it or not.

Best moment - entering into the lens flared beauty of the command deck for the first time with all the asteroids hitting the ship.

4 – Army of Two (360)

This is one of those “no, I couldn’t, I won’t, I can’t….What will people think” kind of gut reactions. I understand that the shooting mechanics are a little floaty, The aggro system is a little wonky and blindfiring seems ten times more accurate than aiming your weapon but there was something about its Bro-ness something stupid and fun. And that is where I justify this being my fourth favourite game of 2008. I played it co-op with a friend locally and we had a lot of fun, we weren’t expecting a new gears this year and this seemed to be a satisfactory timewaster. I found the game to have the silliest story not really knowing what it’s message was..(”war is bad, but sometimes shooting dudes in the face is right”???) and Some of the sections where enemy after enemy after enemy really are a little annoying but the game is full of some notably silly, silliness opting for the non-pc route (suicide bombers that run up you with their arms out) The graphics are nice if not gears standard and the co-op elements like dragging and healing, co-op snipe and using your gun as a guitar/ headbutting your partner are a fun distraction and then added onto that you can PIMP YOUR GUNS! People forget this. What is better than going up against stereotypical Afghan / Chinese/ Russian soldiers with a diamond encrusted AK-47?

Best moment - “Survey says…Youre dead” – Dalton death #1

5 – The Force Unleashed (360)

I Know, I know everyone hates this game now, I found it to be genuinely entertaining despite some hideous difficulty spikes. I found the Jedi powers to be satisfactorily overpowered and the story to play out beautifully like it could fit in between the two trilogies easily playing out a lot more like the original films, I loved the performance the apprentice gives and I loved the way it weaved in new and known characters despite me still whining over that shaak ti deleted scene where general grevious kills her. The art design is stunning and seeing some of planets only briefly seen in the films up close and personal are really awesome indeed. The mix of new and old score was also really good even if a little too intense all the time. I really don’t know what the backlash is with this game with people saying they outright hate it and that’s kind of saddening because It feels like a game where they really, really tried and really DID capture the universe perfectly. I forget its all black and white these days you either love it or you hate it. Im not ashamed to say I really liked the game… Then again I am hugely fond of the Phantom Menace.

Best moment - storming into a wookie villiage as vader killing everything in your path with the imperial march playing.

6 - Grand Theft Auto IV (360)

I am torn, torn over this games worth. I “get it” as a story, as a statement and I think it delivers on that front for the most part. What I don’t get is Rockstars inability to move forward with what makes a game fun because for the huuuuuuuge playing time (somewhere around 50 hours) I often was having absolutely no fun at all. Chasing, shooting, escaping, driving, failing, failing, failing, failing FUCKING FAILING!!!
So why is this in my top 10? I Do no know, I cant explain it there is something deep inside that makes me fond of liberty city, The offensive yet endearing citizens, the way a sunset bathes the sky with a yellow glow, just driving around and running about made the city memorable and in turn the game. It helps that there are amazing characters like the tragic Niko or the hugely Alpha Brucie. As much as I hate the game for the way it is outdated in nearly every design decision possible my thoughts always return to a place, a perfect place where all is right in the world… Vladivostok FM!

Best moment - Easily the four leaf clover bank heist/escape. It is easily the best and most memorable mission in the game even if kane and lynch did it a few months earlier.

7 - Saints Row 2 (360)

I am under no illusion that GTAIV is a better game but SR2 a lesser, uglier game is much, much, much more fun to play, friendlier difficulty, friendlier checkpointing, satisfying shooting and as insane as hell. The minigames like insurance fraud force you to jump in front of cars to rack up money and bodyguard forces you to protect a singer from crazed fans by throwing them into trains and helicopter blades. The game verges on being absolutely distasteful at times but its comic feel and silliness (I once walked down a street and came across a bench with a ninja on a laptop, a ninja drinking a can of coke and a ninja on his mobile phone) It would be easy to see why some would hate this game with is kind of clinical 80s radio stations and crass humour and the ability to dress up and beat police to death dressed like a giant hotdog. Its not as clever or as pretty as gta despite being a total rip off… but y’know it is a whole bunch more fun to play.

Best moment – collecting nuclear waste and watching another man inject it into a rival gang leaders face. (I feel ashamed but I giggled uncontrollably at this)

8 – Lego Batman/ Indiana jones (360)

This is a tiny bit of a cheat really because the two games definitely do play a little differently, Indy being more platformy and batman being a little more fighty. I must admit that Batman is a better game with much better planned out levels and a really interesting roster of characters and abilities But indy has the film parody stuff and the awesome john Williams score to back it up. One of my greatest gaming moments of the year was riding around in circles on a tiny bike with short round as my friend solved all the puzzles. I really liked them both. I really do like the lego games, I know some people are sick of them but they are undemanding and full of silly little touches that could make the most serious of all people smile. Im certain there will be a saturation point but I haven’t hit it yet and y’know 2000 achievement points with a little dedication and that’s ALWAYS a good thing.

Best moment - Short round on a bicycle!/ beating Robin to death using Nightwing … Time paradox!!! (kinda…well it could be)


9 - Prince of Persia (360)

The death mechanic isn’t a big deal. Its just like all other games, Its just you don’t see the words “Game Over” And I like it. It looks beautiful, theres as much depth in the combat as you wish to put into it and the acrobatics are as fun to perform as they are complicated to watch. I don’t mind that it all plays like every corner of every wall has been childproofed just in case you hurt yourself and I don’t mind that the prince is kinda a dick infact I must be in the minority that liked his general unlikeableness. I Liked that the majority of dialogue is optional despite whole chunks of it being really very interesting, fleshing out the world ubisoft has created. Maybe it is my OCD nature and the orb hunting engaged me without ever frustrating me and the big swelling orchestral music warmed my heart. Or maybe we live in a world where games are made a little too hard for the sake of it (I’m looking at you Valkyria Chronicles) I Judge this game like another game I played this year, void of difficulty, automatic actions and having a stunning cel shaded artstyle… Jet Set Radio Future and while JSRF is a much must better (and very different) game It reminds me that sometimes its just fun to run around doing simple, yet fancy actions with a smile on my face instead of screaming “fuck you, I made that jump!” constantly at the screen.

Best moment - The section where you are climbing and getting thrown all about the hot air balloons… It looks truly spectacular if almost completely on rails


10 - Valkyria Chronicles (PS3)

To be honest this is a little bit unfair on fable 2 but I have played more of and enjoyed VC for a good three or so days longer. If I change my mind I will surely write a new number ten or whatever. Valkyria Chronicles is beautiful, Its setting reminds me of an anime show from last year called pumpkin scissors and its character designs are truly awesome. I really am new to this kind of strategy game where you have to set up your soldiers like chess pieces, Its nothing but tense while trying to scrape through to the end of a battle without some silly lancer (rocket carrying unit) or random tank shell destroying your tank (instant game over) I am absolutely in love with the realtime combat with alloted time and movement to do anything you please with, It feels like a real step forward for a japanese game not made by capcom, as other companies would have probably stuck to the tried and tested method of making movement and actions a lot harder than they should be. That said the game is not without its flaws such as a crushing level of difficulty and occasional miss-hits from point blank weapons fire (which can benefit you if it is the enemies turn phase) I must say though that I have been transfixed to the screen for stupidly long amounts of time ordering troops with hugely different and likeable personalities about a battlefield. And with the skirmishes and a whole second half of the game to finish I will probably be playing it for a long, long time to come.

Best moment – The tank level, just after you think youre about to win a new wave of enemies enter the battlefield.



I will most likely post the stupider/more random top 10s tommorow and stuff.