me:	So, on a completely other topic We have these groups at work
Brianna:	ok
me:	Fairly new Known as "employee resource groups" There are maybe 7 or 8 One for women, one for the disabled, one for Afro-Americans, etc., etc.
Brianna:	ok
me:	To let management know about issues affecting them So guess who's bitching?
Brianna:	WHITE MEN!
me:	DING DING DING DING DING!
Brianna:	LOL what the jang, you guys that is ridiculous
me:	LOL "We're not being represented!!!" Um. Surriously.
Brianna:	LOOK AROUND.
me:	FO SHIZZLE YO
Brianna:	jordan said that once, like "there's no white history month!" and i nearly decked him in the elevator i was like THE WHOLE HISTORY. IS WHITE HISTORY. i'm pretty sure you've never said to yourself, hey, you know, i'd love to be a scientist, too bad there are no straight white male scientists i can use as an example!
me:	What exactly are the special issues facing white men that we think management won't understand?
Brianna:	um... that the coffee machine is broken?
me:	The coffee machine was broken ... BY THE GAYS!!!
Brianna:	rofl "if there were women in the kitchen looking after the coffee machine this wouldn't have happened!"
me:	I mean, seriously, seriously, I was walking down a hallway today at work I'd never been in And they had a huge mural of everyone who'd run the division since, like, 1951 or something And I was absolutely shocked to see that every last one was a white man. I mean, my eyes just about fell out of my head and rolled down the hallway and bounced down the stairs and settled by the doors to the cafeteria.
Brianna:	that's it! white men want more murals dedicated to them!
me:	LMAO Why is it so fucking difficult for people to accept that they have privilege, and that actions taken to mitigate that privilege are not, in fact, slighting them, but instead inching things a teensy bit closer to a world where they don't get a head start just for breathing??
Brianna:	YES IT IS THAT DIFFICULT. jeez marissa, have a little compassion for the white man!
me:	It's like ... everyone wants to believe they got where they are solely because of their own awesomeness.
Brianna:	i certainly did!
me:	That's right! Nobody gave you no leg up!
Brianna:	nope! especially not my private non-sectarian university! or my well-educated parents!
me:	Or your lily-white skin!
Brianna:	especially not that
me:	ESPECIALLY not your lily-white skin.
Brianna:	uh huh. there are people that actually believe that, though as scary as that is
me:	No, I know Apparently my workplace is full of 'em
Brianna:	eew
me:	I mean, seriously, people are like, "So just because I'm a straight, white male without a disability means I don't get to participate??" a) The ERGs are open to everyone b) Shut the fuck up
Brianna:	LOL right, that's like fucking pat buchanan saying that only white males signed the constitution like, i'm sure the slaves and the women were invited, they just had better things to do that day GO FUCK YOURSELF PAT BUCHANAN
me:	Oh, JESUS ROLLERSKATING CHRIST Did you hear all that shit about how white men built this country?!?!?
Brianna:	i heard some of it then i couldn't hear the rest because i was too busy vomiting
me:	And how everyone who died in all our wars were white?!?!?!?!?
Brianna:	yeah even the civil war
me:	YES
Brianna:	like... uhh....
me:	THE MOTHERFUCKING CIVIL WAR
Brianna:	you know, the one about the emancipation of BLACK PEOPLE.
me:	WHOOOO?? WHAAAA???
Brianna:	pat buchanan. what an asswipe.
me:	I'm just getting so tired of the "pity the poor white man" schtick So, so tired
Brianna:	yeah white men can talk to me when they don't make up the large majority of this nation's government
me:	And all positions of power Period And a huge-ass percentage of the management at my employer
Brianna:	and apparently 100 percent of the casualties at the battle of gettysburg
me:	*weeps softly*
Brianna:	lol
me:	BTW I'm posting this on my LJ
Brianna:	you better! i want the world to know how funny i am when making fun of whitey!