I have too many things I need! Order number 1 is jeans that don't fall off. Order number 2 is athletic shoes for serious workouts. Order number 3 is new book binding tools of better quality - mostly for cutting things. Order number 4 is a few odds and ends to finish off my apartment. Grrr... So many things! Some new summer tops would be really nice as well! Things at work are awesome. I'm super...

I have a very busy week ahead of me, and I'm really looking forward to it! Tonight I'm going out to dinner with the indomitable dave_over . He still owes me ice cream! Oh yes he does. And Tonight he shall pay for it! (But I'm paying for dinner, 'tis only fair.) Tomorrow I've got my last Pathway's check up. They say with my meds that I'm going to completely skew their study. But there's a...

So... every once in a while someone who's met me IRL will come and find my LJ. Not surprising since many of the people I associate with go by one "handle" or another and I'm occasionally introduced at, "And this is Cheesentoast on LiveJournal". So, sometimes people look me up. Now, I'm sure it comes as no surprise for my long time (or even short time) readers that I'm a deeply interior person and...

I was gonna do my yoga first and then journal/write after my mind had calmed but - since I kind of want to keep a record of my reactions to how things are going I thought I'd try it the other way around this time so I can remember everything. I have been to Northwest Folk Life every day this week. Usually it didn't bother me. Sometimes it did. Never to the point of freak-out but to the point where...

So - it had been my hope that the panic attacks were largely due to the ex-husband being a jerk and that they would fade over time. That I would be able to exchange negative experiences with positive ones and retrain the way I react to things. That... turned out not to be true. I was married for 5 years. I've been divorced for 5 years now. However, I'm finding with the Clonazapam I can start to do...

Last July I challenged myself to an Iron Epistle . In short I challenged myself to send one hand written letter a week. I sent out a few and then things in my life went to hell and I dropped the ball. Seeing the renewed interest in this community has inspired me to try again. Tonight I will write the a new letter to some lucky person on my list. I was inspired to start my Iron Epistle because...

Some day, this will be hollyking . :)

So I'm feeling a little bit more bouncy today. :) I woke up in a good mood and got some breakfast right off. I've accomplished a fair bit already this morning. Sadly, as the day is progressing I can feel that fading off, but I'm hopeful. My stress councilor helped a lot when she pointed out that it's a physiological response, not necessarily an emotional one. Huh. Yeah. This is getting old. I think...

Dream: I borrowed three spiral-bound notebooks belonging to tereshkova2001 , in which were lists of songs that her... faction/tribe/bank/hell had been playing, saying I wanted to listen to the songs and see if there was anything I liked. The truth, of course, is that it was a bit of industrial espionage, as I needed to gain access to said bank/hell. This was after I was unsuccessful breaking...

Hello, you all. :D You know - I'm feeling so much a ton better. Really I only have my exciting freak-outs every once in a great while but this week I just feel really on top of things. I've gotten a good grip on church, friends, social life, work - it's all working for me again. I mean, everything was always pretty good, I just wasn't handing the changes very well. But now I think I've adjusted pretty...