Don't we all, Dom, don't we all...

It's obvious from my last post's title that I'm a little bit of an ANTM fan, and while I'm waiting for the first episode of cycle 11 to go up on youtube (because Channel 10's showing CYCLE 7 FROM 2006 and the full horror of Anna Nicole's win hasn't hit Foxtel yet) I thought I'd do my preseason analysis and tips. These are based mainly on the official preshow stuff, since I can't be bothered sifting through everything out there.

I haven't taken spoilers into account, since half'll be wrong, and I usually end up liking the designated bitches better than the girls given good edits (Camille/Yoanna, Bre/Nicole, Bianca/Tootie, Dom, Fatima/Whitney). 

 Now watch my faves turn out to be the most rancid fugmonsters...



ANALEIGH: One of my favourites -fantastic legs and even though her head looks a bit small for her body and facial features, she's not pinheaded. A bit Miranda Kerr. She'll probably get booted for being "too porny" (and the name doesn't help...)

Perfect world: Top 3
Tyraverse: 9th


BRITTANY: Love her bone structure and eyes, but she might be a bit expresssionless and stonefaced. Eliminated for having "no personality."

Perfect world: 6th
Tyraverse: 8th


CLARK: Pretty but unmemorable -the epitome of what my mum'd call "nice looking." Like lots of people, I smell a bit of bitch here, but think she might be the "photographs old" girl as well.

Perfect world: Is she a fun bitch or a bitchy bitch? 3rd and 10th respectively.
Tyraverse: 7th and up for actually looking like a versatile model.


ELINA: Lots of people's preshow fave, but I'm not wowed. She looks a bit short (could be the token plussie's outfit she's wearing in the official photo, though) and aside from the  gorgeous Asian-ish eyes, has a fairly common type of Slavic face with the full lips and square jaw (like me and half my cousins). The Reject Shop Angelina tats are also a bit wrong.

Perfect world: Still, in comparison with Sheena and Sam? Top 5
Tyraverse: A PETA activist selling Covergirl? Cut before overseas trip.


HANNAH:

Perfect world:
Tyraverse:


ISIS: I like her in photos -kind of a cross between Lluvy and Dom (without the cryptkeeper skin)- but in motion? Hmmm...she'll either be a Shandi/Lauren/Heather, a Kelle (broken down by the whole experience) or, if she's entertaining and manipulative enough, a Jaslene (from sideshow act to winner).

Perfect world: Oulasting all the intolerant bitches, then progressing through ability.
Tyraverse: First cut overseas -sent home with some lovely consolation prizes after proving Tyra's tolerance.


JOSLYN: No. Looks like a black Ricki-Lee Coulter, sounds like a southern STACY ANN!!1!1 

Perfect world: 12th (11th if she reprises SA's stripper dance)
Tyraverse: 4th (grovelling might get her overseas, but it's too soon for Saleisha II).

LAUREN BRIE:

 

MARJORIE: Despite the Aggy, she's
 

McKEY: Don't get all the preshow hype -the hair and jaw remind me of the really trannyish Pussycat Doll, the "retired" redhead.


NIKEYSHA: Preying Mantis

SAMANTHA: Um, are you looking for the Ladette to Lady auditions? So trashy and English-looking. This one's either gorgeous in person but 'orrible on film, or our designated bitch, or both.

Perfect world: 14th
Tyraverse: No i


SHARAUN:

SHEENA:

Perfect world:
Tyraverse: 1st