I really, really hate this Twilight phenomenon. I have no desire to even discuss why. That said, cleolinda has written detailed reviews of all the books. She apparently likes the books because they are just so absurd and terrible. It takes awhile to read through the reviews, but it is so worth it.

So, for anyone who hates Twilight, this is for you. Prepare to laugh. A lot.

Start off with this short review of the first book. It isn't as funny, but it is a good intro to the overall problems with the series:
"Bella's an angsty teen girl in a new town, and Edward's a sparkly vampire. No, really"

Onto cleolinda's brief chapter notes on the second book, New Moon. This is when the reviews begin to get funny (though you have to wait until the Breaking Dawn review for hilariousness):
"'Honey, I know it hurts when Robert Sparkleson breaks up with you, but in real life, you're going to have to deal with it. Attempted suicide by thug is not healthy'"

Next up are more brief chapter notes on the third book, Eclipse. Again, not hilarious yet, but pretty damn funny:
"Edward tried to commit suicide by public sparkling"

Okay, here's the long one. cleolinda has split the review of the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, into three hilarious parts. Enjoy:
Part One (chapters 1-7): "I mean, was it like fucking a popsicle?"
Part Two (chapters 8-18): "OH FUCK DID JACOB JUST IMPRINT ON THE NEWBORN DEATH BABY?"
Part Three (chapters 19-39): "Oh Dumblevamp, how could you?"

Finally we have cleolinda's review of the leaked first half of Midnight Sun (which is the first book from Edward's point of view):
Part One (chapters 1-6): "Oh Edward. Shine on, you prissy diamond"
Part Two (chapters 7-12): "Oh Edward. Only you would seek out the best healthcare plan for stalking"

Hopefully the hilarity will help you all deal with having to hear how OMG!AMAZING!AWESOME! the Twilight series is from all of the teenage girls who seem to think so.