I didn't get the job.

So when I was alerted to this, I kinda thought hey, I thought I may not get it even if I had a kick ass interview. I talked with my good friend Michael about it and seemed to be taking it allright. I went out for a mid morning coffee with Ash for about an hour because I didn't really feel like being a 'good employee' and plus I didn't have a lot to do today on my plate as it was. The coffee time was really good, as most Ash time is. Went all the way to Starbucks and got some Pumpkin spice latte's.

As I walked back I had thought about this 'new guy'. I kept thinking more and more that this guy better be a pro at project managing, at what's required on drawings, and so on...he better well be...as I kept thinking more and more I was getting more and more pissed off at the whole thing. My natural reaction I guess is to get mad at things. lol.

Now...I know who got the job, it was the husband of a girl that worked in the office for only a short time, but in that time we got to learn they were quite a yuppie couple, dressed to the NINES, not anything more in the skill department than the others but dressed to the nines like i said. That made me wonder...if mr 'hardware salesman', mr 'worked for a home builder for a bit' even though he's the same age or so as me...if that's what clenched it...his dressy $1000 suit?

As the day went on like I said..i got more and more AND MORE pissed off at things. I didn't really feel too motivated to work. I looked thru job postings, and as usual in this 'booming province' the same old shit tech jobs as usaul. I've basically applied for every drafting job at every place here already and KNOW i'm at the highest earning potential even if i'm capped..at the university.

When new guy comes I'm not helping one iota. I'm not his teacher, I'm not his minion either. I'm part of a team and that means you know your job and i know mine. Whether I wear shorts and you wear dress pants will not dictate how or what you can tell me to do or how you do it.

Some instances I can't wait to he comes..others I just want to do what Milton did. I got told by my boss that hey, in the meantime I think you start closing out project managers projects, to give you some experience with dealing with people....excuse me?! Do their work? and get paid the same as i do now? EXC(FUCKYOU)USE ME?

I'm not sure what I can do to make more money... I guess I stay at the trailer hole for a while...no other choice really so I guess in one instance that has solved my little dilemma I've had for a while now.  I can't help but feel like hte lowest paid schmuck around. Clerical girls are getting more than I am and have room to move up. I have no room to move up, and can apply for reconsideration but that would take a year or 3 to take effect....most likely until the next contract is drawn up.

I thought of getting myself an 11x17 portfolio wiht the little sleeves for drawings, and placing in my stuff....but then thought what's the use!? It's not like there is anything here to apply to even if i had a 'good' portfolio...

On top of that, I post on a real estate site, and I revealed how much I make and the others were sympathetic sayign 'you only make that?! well no wonder you are having trouble with the housing market and costs etc'....

I can't go to school again and I can't work at a new place. What the FRAK do i do now. I guess that's what I have to think. I dont' wanna be the jack of all trades and get paid a jokers salary.

@#$q@!q$#r(qr*q!!!

PS. I left work early. fuck em.