Not with a person, but rather a tv show.  Actually, this show and I have an almost thirty year history in some form or another.  We've gone steady.  We've broken up.  I've casually dated its spin-off friends.  But as of now, last night, I am officially engaged to General Hospital: Night Shift.  If you know me at all, you know that for the past decade, I have been involved with an intense love/hate relationship with the original show.  Mostly hate, actually, as the show, over the course of the aforementioned decade, has been eaten by the mob, with the characters of Sonny and Carly at the forefront.  And while I have quite the tangled relationship with the former--hate, love, hate--I just hate the latter flat out.  Anyway, last summer, the good (?) people at SoapNet announced that they were putting forth a GH spinoff, to be called Night Shift.  the show would run for 13 episodes and would feature the characters of Robin, Patrick and Jason AND would be centered on the hospital.  Of course, like so many things related to GH in recent years, the story started off great and quickly went to hell in a handcart.  Which is why I was so leery when they announced a second season.   Only, where last time, it was just like regular GH in that they said it was about the hospital and it ended up being consumed by the mob.  But this season?  Well, they tempted me to watch, against my better judgment.  I mean, they promised the return of old characters and the complete absence of others so, I decided to at least give it a try.  And it. Is. Awesome.  So I now give you 10 reasons why Night Shift is so infinitely better than the real thing...

1.  It's not like having Antonio Sabato, Jr., he of the Calvin Klein billboard fame, return wouldn't have been enough.  I mean, for a few years in the early 90s, he was pretty much the reason everyone was watching.  He was the reason I was watching.  Rather he was the reason I started watching again after a year's hiatus due to my extreme distaste with the decision to KILL OFF Robert and Anna.    And he's been gone for 13 years, so, again, simply having him back was quite the thrill.  But he made his grand re-entrance IN A TOWEL.  And only a towel.  In. A. Towel. 

2.  Robin and Patrick, who have been having the same--the EXACT same--conversation for the past year, are freaking adorable.  I mean really, really adorable.   They are like sparkly champagne.  They are like fizzy bath bubbles.  They managed to charm the hell out of me having a conversation about how he wants to name the baby Dale after Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

3.  The part of the show that isn't good--specifically the part where they completely and totally copy Grey's Anatomy--is so laughably awful as to be fun.  Fun in that weird "I can't BELIEVE this is happening" kind of way, but fun nonetheless.

4.  Thus far, and I'll admit that we are only three episodes in, but THUS FAR, the show seems to be about (and this is a novel concept for General Hospital) a hospital.  And the sick people therein.  And the doctors doing it.  It's really quite remarkable to see the hospital used as something other than the big building to which gangsters are taken when they are shot in the mob war.

5.  There's nothing on this earth (or in space for that matter) which isn't made better by the presence of Mr. Billy Dee Williams.  Because HELLO?!?!?!?!  Lando Calrissian.  Seriously, he could just hang around in the background of scenes and it would make the show better.  so how awesome do you think he is when he's playing a hospital orderly/Motown singer named Toussaint duBois?  Note:  However awesome you are imagining, this is more awesome.

6.  In the grand tradition of soap operas, actors come and go.  In this case, they replaced OldLeo with NuLeo.  Who is OldLeo's real life brother.  And is now the focus of my hate.  You are contractually obligated when watching a soap to hate SOMEONE..  And I have located my target.  'Cause, DAMN, he's an asshole.

7.  No Sonny.  No Jason.  No Carly.  For us old school regular GH fans, this is like the Holy Trinity of No. 

8.  The first scene involved a car crashing into the ER, shattering a window and driving a huge shard of glass into the jugular of Dr. Ford, making Dr. Hottie McHotterson (aka Patrick Drake) Acting Chief of Staff.  And they showed the glass shard.  And it was glorious.

9.  I can hold out hope for two things:  First, that last year's unresolved plot line involving Myster Patient, Last Name: Barrett; First Name Oh-My-God-She-Has-Long-Dark-Hair-And-A-Tattoo-On-Her-Back-And-She-Recognizes-Jason, or as we like to call her, BRENDA will come up again.  And that while certain people are creeping about the hospital hiding in linen closets they will discover Anna and Noah making out in said closet.

10.  And speaking of certain people...Robert Scorpio.  ROBERT. FREAKING. SCORPIO.  Regular GH did everything in its power to make Robert into a zombie pod person who was a bad father.  And in one episode.  Wait, ONE SCENE Night Shift redeemed him.  Made him awesome again.  Had him mention Sean (Yes, please!) and Faison (OOOOOOOOH! SCARY! And yes, please.).  Had him throw out a compliment to Anna.  And made him he best dad ever.  Again.