I've never posted to this LJ, but I have some things I need to get down and work through before this week. I feel like Thanksgiving is going to be terrible this year. We usually go to my Grandma's for Thanksgiving on the years we are with my dad, but with her passing away this August things have changed. They have emptied out her house in preparation for selling it so we can't stay there this year. We will be staying at a resort in the same town, I guess because we will be going to the football game nearby the next day. One of my brothers is going with his fiancee's family to another state, and my other brother is bringing his new girlfriend who I am not that fond of with him. My aunt and uncle who I usually stay with seem headed for divorce, that whole family is unhappy and they were always my favorite. So, I have no idea where we are eating Thanksgiving dinner and my sister is driving me crazy because she says she is going to stay for only one day and go home because of her dog. My step-mother doesn't really seem to like any of the four of us anymore, which is okay because I think all but me are done with her too. We will go to my Grandma's house with nothing there and do some cleaning and sorting of stuff and to her grave. Emotional and sad. I just remember going there when I was little, even a few years ago and it was fantastic. Four different families, my Grandma, and everyone busy and having fun: me rooting against the whole family and the Cowboys, the family football game with UT vs. ATM, putting up Grandma's Christmas tree, shopping all day Friday, and making Christmas cookies with all the cousins. This time it seems as if we shouldn't even be there and my family is all very disjointed. Hopefully it will be okay, but I am very apprehensive about how it all will pan out.

And Christmas is going to be a mess as well. My brother, his fiancee, her two kids staying at their house in town.(The kids are crazy, the parents don't watch them, don't talk to them, or explain things to them. They just run amuck and then get yelled at because they get into trouble because they are too lazy to watch them.) My sister and her boyfriend, who is flying in for NY for a week(longer than my mother expected him to come since she is going there for 2 weeks when he leaves), my brother and his daughter, me, and my mom all in her small house is going to be tight. Really, there seems to be no room at the inn. And my brother's girlfriend will be around the whole time too. She so reminds me of my niece's mother, and that is in no way a good thing. And then when are we doing Christmas with my dad? Just everything seems up in the air.

Lots of changes. The loss of some, the addition of some. And I don't know how it will go. I need to have an escape plan in case I need to get away from all the madness.