Title: Grains of Paradise
Rating: PG-13 (and going up)
Pairings: AoixUruhaxAoi
Worth the mention: AU, Uruha POV
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one and I'm not making any money with this.

Written for 50stories under the theme 23, Happy

Author's warnings: Ahead: bad English and even worse ideas.



”I’m bi.”

From the corner of my eye I saw Ruki tipping his sunglasses down on the bridge of his nose so that he could stare at me without his vision being altered by the dark, red wine lenses. “You’re what?”

“I think I’m attracted to men.”

“You think?”

I sighed, allowing my head to loll back, staring at the cloudless sky. “You’re not making this easy for me.”

“You know how I love to see you squirm.” I shot him with a glare that was given a snort of contempt with a smile. He tipped his glasses back to protect his eyes and continues to inspect the unsuspecting crowds of the park that day, the mirror surfaces reflecting back all that he saw without exposing him. “What makes you think so?”

I disguised the pause by nursing my milkshake while uncrossing and then crossing my legs again, feeling as if I was itching from a good half of a dozen places at the same time but not being able to do anything about it. “Aoi kissed me.”

Ruki checked our surroundings, making sure that our conversation could be carried on in privacy. “That doesn’t make you bi. That only means that Aoi kissed you. And that he probably is bi-sexual if not gay.”

“But it sure got me thinking.”

Ruki shrugged at this and turned his face away from me and I couldn’t help but frown at his attitude. I knew it wasn’t the best of topics to pick up a conversation about on an average Wednesday in a public park but I wasn’t that stupid, I kept one eye and half of an ear to make sure that no one was overhearing anything they shouldn’t have.

For the past few weeks my thoughts had been occupied by this particular topic and while the gossiper within me had wanted to call Ruki the moment I had gotten over my initial shock, I had suppressed the urge to do so and tried to take a more down-to-earth approach on what had happened. I wasn’t that much interested on Aoi’s part on any of it but I was curious about my own reactions and feelings about this.

Ruki surely would have laughed his ass off if I had told him that for the past week or so I had entertained myself by checking out every decent guy I had happened to run into in order to see if it was possible for me to be physically attracted by a male body. The answer was yes, to some extent at least. I was extremely picky and while I liked a little muscle, I was looking for some feminine features as well. And most definitely, I wasn’t even dreaming about being that excited over a male body just yet, but on a mental level I acknowledged my new found orientation.

Oh hell, I didn’t even know where the line between straight and bi-sexual went, yet I was willing to categorize myself to the wrong side of it.

“When did it happen?”

“The last night he stayed at my parents’”, I answered with a grunt, knowing he was referring to the kiss.

“And you don’t tell me until now?”

His tone was bland to say the least and I was beginning to regret having said anything. “Well, I’m sorry but I wanted to have an opinion of my own before running to you.” He snorted at this and my anger and frustration reached the boiling point. “What is it with that attitude of yours?”

“Well I’m sorry but I’m slightly baffled because my best friend turned gay overnight.” He was looking at everything else but at me and it was only then it dawned to me that Ruki might not actually approve of such lifestyle.

We had never really discussed it, not even in passing, and it seemed now that I had taken Ruki’s acceptance for granted. I knew that some things he primarily tolerated while not accepted as such, but I had never seen it coming that he would snap so badly over someone’s homosexuality, even and especially not when the person in question was so close to him. I was so used to it that he accepted people as who they were and I had thought that he knew me well enough not to change his opinion in me for no matter what.

I slurped the rest of my milkshake and stood up, throwing the paper cup to the trashcan close by. “I need to go, I don’t want to be late from the meeting. I’ll see you later.”

“Hey!”

His yell reached my turned back and I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t come after me and so I was allowed to storm away in my own peace. A part of me was angry for having to fight over something like that, my own beliefs, but more than that I was disappointed by Ruki’s behaviour. The main reason for me bringing it up in the first place was because I had been looking for acceptance in order to feel good and right about my decision. Now I felt like that was never going to happen and I was already planning the rest of my life so that I would come out as straight as possible.

To say that I had actually surprised myself for learning how deep my level of simple acceptance and attachment over the matter, my deepest feelings, were after such short period of time was definitely and understatement. I would never make a trend over my homosexuality, but I was, to say, intrigued by the possibilities it brought with it. Of course my social status and publicity brought by it were things to consider but I considered my private life rather safe and I was certain I’d manage to keep it that way, no matter who I was seeing.

I decided to nurse these thoughts later with a wine bottle once I got home, but now I focused all my energy in navigating myself through the station in order to get myself into the right train and one of the overcrowded carriages. The noon rush hour was at its peek and even finding a place to stand in the carriage was something. I was heading back to Shinjuku but instead of continuing home, I headed for the west exit of the Shinjuku station and headed for the world I had never quite familiarized myself with.

It was late for a lunch hour but the streets were still conquered by a horde of salary men and office ladies let loose. I allowed the stream to take me with it and cut to a more secluded side street where I had learned to.

The heavily locked doors there were backdoors that some of the ground floor bank and department store workers used, but there were also doors that led to the stairways that led to upper floor offices or flats. I buzzed myself in through one of these doors and took the elevator to the eleventh floor, as far up as it would go, and from there took the stairs up till fifteenth.

Reita’s door was slightly ajar and I helped myself in without knocking, slipping my feet into the pair of slippers that was waiting for me in the excuse for a hall. Advancing further I found Reita behind his desk that was overflowing with piles of paper and files and he finished his furious typing before turning to greet me. “Uruha! Good to see you! Remind me never ever to let you go for a month again.”

I snorted with a smile and seated myself to a chair waiting for me on the opposite side of the desk.

Suzuki Reita was a professional fundraiser. Our paths had met during one charity event about a year ago, he had been employed by the organization and I had been made his right hand in the name of the organization. Reita and my ideas had met and after that I had worked directly to him in quite a few occasions. He had other help as well, but those people were hired and I was the only one Reita had been trying to get to his employee list, but to this day I had declined the offer. That meant he wasn’t my boss and I was able to take over a month out of the business should I want to.

The fact that I worked for him without a contract any kind told something about the trust between us. I had no obligations towards him, I could quit any minute I wanted to or take a day off whenever I wanted no matter how screwed up Reita would be in that case. But I was doing this job, in general and under his guidance, for a meaning and the tasks Reita gave me had gained importance and personal involvement as our co-operation had progressed.

Yet, he was determined and I had to admit that if things continued to looks good for us, I might sign the contract.

I understood the need for people like Reita, big campaigns needed people who knew what they were doing, but when I had first begun to work on the field of charity and fundraising as a volunteer, I hadn’t understood the people who made a business out of it. But now I understood the system better and knew that people like Reita were probably the ones that gave it a meaning. Depending on what the organization employing him was, Reita rarely charged more than needed to cover the costs he had spent along the way. If I’d work for him I would get a nominal salary but I had a feeling Reita would pay for that himself.

First meeting him I had used my mother’s map of acquaintances to track him down and while not in any close contacts with my family, therefore not someone I should have known, even Reita belonged to my group of people with the same social status. I later learned that by profession he was a lawyer and from between the lines I had figured that Reita had quit his job for now in order to focus full-time on fundraising. He had once joked that he would return to his calling if he screwed up an event bad time, got bore or ran out of money to live with. Of all the second option was the most likely one to happen.

“How was Yokohama? Your parents? Shiroyama-san?”

“You know about it as well?” I gaped at him.

“Of course”, he rolled his eyes. “And I say, you better get him participate and contribute to our next big event. Makes us look good.”

“I don’t actually know him…”

“You have six weeks time, don’t worry”, he handed me and inch thick stack of papers and one separate. “I closed this deal today. I was hoping you’d give it your hundred per cent. From the others you can pick a few to your liking or considering how much free time you have in your hands. I wouldn’t bother Shiroyama-san with the little stuff though.”

I flipped him off, that’s exactly how close we were, and skimmed through the separate paper. It was to be a major event, exactly what Reita and I were good at and I smirked, knowing we’d surpass whatever expectations the organization hiring us had. “I’ll get to it”, I nodded. “What else is there?” I browsed through the stack given to me but it was all at least half finished projects, that explaining a good deal of the thickness of the pile, and in reality the stack was given to me mainly in purpose of letting me know what Reita and the company had been up to so that if asked, I’d have a fluent answer. So I let Reita to tell me if he needed help with something.

“Nothing that badly out of order. The membership campaign for DIS is still at its early stages and I really don’t have the time for it during the rest of the week. I’ve written down some things you could do and places to call. Otherwise I’ll need more of your muscle than your brain.”

“I feel appreciated. How did you survive without me anyway?” I mock sighed.

Reita’s eyes widened and he feigned a gasp. “Are you kidding? I practically saved the world while you were gone. But one word from you and I’ll have a desk for you here the following day.”

I smiled at him and shook my head. “We’ll see about that. For now I like to work at home.”

“You’re such a bore”, he grunted and turned to his computer screen when the machine beeped. “Would you save my day and make some coffee?”

“Sure.” I got up and placed the paper pile on the chair so that I would remember to take it with me. The small kitchen station was situated in one corner of the main room and knowing what was where I set on my task.

Reita’s downtown office was and office turned into and apartment turned into an office by Reita again. The five up most floors of the building had at first been for office purposes, but later rebuild to living spaces. Reita had a house outside the city and while the manner of his current profession didn’t really require and office, he preferred to keep his life and work separate and that’s why he had this place. It came in handy when I needed to see him and I knew that the other room was all set in case he had to stay over night in the city, meaning he was working to the wee hours of the morning. As an apartment it functioned awkwardly to say the least, the setting was weird and I often wondered if all the other flats were the same and if yes, what kind of people lived there.

I spent two hours in Reita’s company and went home through the liquor store. I didn’t feel that bad anymore, but the wine would definitely make my day.