[Chapter 2]

Jared’s hopping from one foot to the other, rapping on the door with the same staggered rhythm. It’s like a game to see how many times he can go without losing his balance. The wind whistles through the trees behind him and he stifles a giggle at its playfulness.

On the other side, he hears a murmured curse and shuffling of feet before a lone branch, brown and weatherworn, slaps against the side of the house. He frowns at it, mimicking his momma’s reproachful look and it seems to retreat back toward its home. He smiles gleefully, catching his tongue between his teeth to keep from answering back.

A second later, there’re are a series of clicks as the locks are being haphazardly thrown and the door flies open.

“What the fuck! It’s 7 in the goddamn morning,” Jensen yells in his general direction but the angry scowl disappears when he sees Jared standing there.

He watches as Jensen’s adam’s apple bobs up and down while the man swallows back the rest of the words he had planned to say.

“Jared,” Jensen stammers, much softer now, “dude, what the hell? You know it’s not Monday, right?”

“I know.” Jared smiles back sheepishly. “I just wanted to get started. That’s okay, right? You’re not mad?”

Jensen shuffles his feet back and forth across the threshold a few times and runs his fingers through his spiky hair. It’s a self conscious gesture that Jared watches and memorizes to replay over and over in his mind.

“Um, no, I’m not mad,” Jensen replies, clearing his throat.

Jared watches the uneven rise and fall of Jensen’s chest as the man takes in a couple of deep breaths.

“Come in,” Jensen says, stepping aside to allow Jared through. “I’ll just go... Yeah, I’ll be right back.”

He watches as Jensen pads across the wooden floor in nothing but pajama bottoms and bare feet. He’s seen Jeff naked and his father’s bare pot belly, but Jensen’s skin is smooth and fair with a smattering of freckles across his shoulders that are utterly fascinating. He follows the line of Jensen’s spine as it dips below the waistband of his pajamas and ends at his firm, round behind. The early morning sunlight catches on the wiry golden hairs on Jensen’s forearms. It makes his skin glow and him look almost like an angel.

Jensen is beautiful.

The air feels charged with energy and Jared bounces on the tips of his toes with barely concealed joy. It’s already warm inside, despite the early hour, so he peels off his outer shirt as he waits for Jensen to come back. He’s already a little bit distracted by his plans for the day, anxious to see the smile on Jensen’s face when his garden returns to life.

Jensen comes back wearing running shoes, laces flopping with every step he takes. Jared’s momma always scolds him when his laces aren’t tied and it makes him worry that Jensen might fall, but Jensen keeps walking without having to look down so he must not really care.

He’s still staring at Jensen’s feet when they’re standing toe to toe.

“Jared?” Jensen’s soft voice breaks through his thoughts and he blushes just a little bit. “There are some tools out back. I can show you if you want.”

Jensen doesn’t sound impatient like his momma sometimes when she catches him staring at the floor. He’s still embarrassed anyway and just a little bit scared, especially since he was silly and told Jensen the thing about his grass. He learned a long time ago that people don’t like it when he says things like that.

He peers out from behind his bangs, just in case Jensen is hiding his anger. Nobody in his family is very good at that, especially Megan, but a long time ago, when he was still going to school, he had a teacher that never yelled, even when she was boiling mad inside.

But Jensen is only standing there regarding him with questioning eyes, and he’s reminded again of new blades of grass in the early morning sunshine. It’s weird, looking into the eyes of a stranger and not feeling frightened. It’s kind of like how he feels when he’s outside and the wind is telling him a story.

He smiles brightly and watches with amazement as Jensen’s eyes light up just the same. It makes him feel warm all over and happy.

“Okay, come on,” Jensen says, “it’s just right over here.”

He follows as they walk out the back door. Already, he can feel how excited the trees and the grass are that someone is out to keep them company.

Shhhh, he says loudly in his head, I promise to take care of you, and the wind settles down in carefree anticipation.

The sun kisses Jensen’s bare shoulders as they make their way across the back yard toward a little shed out back. The grass is too long here and almost as dry. In his mind, he sees where flower beds would be good friends and how the overgrown trees on the side would give good shade. He feels the heat on his arms and through his worn tank top. It’s going to be a good day.

Jensen stops and unlocks the heavy padlock on the door with a rusty old key.

“The previous owner left this behind,” Jensen says as he swings the big doors wide open. “I’m sure you can make use of it. You’d never know it, but this place used to be really beautiful.”

“It’s still beautiful,” he responds, seeing the wistful look on Jensen’s face, “just hiding.”

He peers into the tool shed, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. Inside, there’s every kind of trowel, shovel and pruning shear he’s ever seen. There are even a few things he doesn’t know what to do with.

“Wow,” he says, completely in awe of the tools so lovingly placed on their shelves. He wants to touch every single one of them.

There’s still dried dirt on the ends of a few pieces and he instinctively knows that someone devotedly cared for this garden once. It makes him all the more determined to make it a happy place again.

He hears Jensen chuckle behind him.

“I’ll let you get a feel for the place,” Jensen says softly. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Jensen,” he says reverently, because he’s never been trusted with such precious things before.

For a second, he thinks Jensen wants to say something more, but instead, the man turns and trudges back into the house, leaving him standing there with so many choices he doesn’t know what to do first. He closes his eyes and lets his hands float in mid air, waiting for some sort of guidance. When his fingers light on the long handle of the old lawnmower, he smiles.

“Okay,” he says out loud, not really sure who’s listening, and drags the heavy thing all the way out to the driveway in front.

*

It takes him about an hour, after getting the thing running, to cut through the entire front and side lawn. The sun’s beating down on him mercilessly and he’s covered in sweat and grass clippings. He sets the mower on the side and goes back to look for something to rake with when Jensen emerges through the back door again.

He’s surprised to see that the man has changed into jeans and a light blue t-shirt since it’s Sunday and he figured Jensen looked sleepy enough to go right back to bed. Jensen looks crisp and clean, though, like he just got out of the shower and, when he gets closer, he even smells like soap.

“You’re working hard,” Jensen says with a smile. “I was gonna have some breakfast. You wanna, maybe, take a little break?”

Jared nods vigorously. He doesn’t really need a break but people don’t usually talk to him so he doesn’t know how to say ‘no’ when Jensen asks.

“Okay,” Jensen shrugs, “come on in the kitchen then.”

He washes up in the sink when Jensen points to it, feeling guilty for getting dirt on the counter. His momma would purse her lips and immediately try to wipe it away but Jensen just dismisses it like it’s not even there.

Jared breathes in deep to the smell of bacon. It’s been such a long time since he’s had any since his daddy’s not allowed to eat that kind of food anymore. It reminds him of home, though, and Sunday mornings when Momma would wake them all up early to eat breakfast together.

“I hope you like pancakes,” Jensen says, “I didn’t really have a lot of ingredients lying around.”

Jared twirls around and lets he eyes go wide over the big stack of fluffy pancakes on the table.

“I love pancakes,” he whispers, so happy he can barely keep it inside.

“Well, go ahead and dig in, then,” Jensen responds.

There’s orange juice and pancakes and crispy bacon, just how he likes it. Jared empties half the bottle of maple syrup over the top and watches it run off the sides and onto the table. It’s all of his favorites, even better than what his momma makes and, even though he feels guilty for thinking that, he devours it like he hasn’t eaten in days.

He forgets where he is for a moment, savoring the gooey goodness of syrup and buttery pancakes, until Jensen’s voice pulls him right back in.

“You always work on Sunday?” Jensen asks.

“No, not all the time,” he answers, quickly trying to swallow an overly large bite, “but it’s better than staying at home by myself.”

He watches as Jensen takes a sip of his coffee. He has a bit of a frown on just like Daddy when he can’t quite make the words all fit in the crossword puzzle.

“What about your parents?” Jensen inquires softly, “Don’t you live with them?”

“Uh huh,” he replies happily chewing on a piece of bacon, “Meggie and Jeff don’t live with us anymore, but Momma and Daddy do.”

“And they don’t stay home with you on weekends?” Jensen goes on.

“Oh no,” he laughs out loud, “Momma and Daddy go to church on Sundays.”

“What’s the matter, don’t you like going to church?” Jensen teases, making Jared laugh.

“I don’t really mind, but Momma told Daddy she doesn’t like the way people look at me so they don’t make me go anymore.”

“Huh,” Jensen mutters and his frown deepens.

Jared bites his bottom lip. Jensen’s so still as he stares back at him that he knows he did something wrong. A bead of sweat trickles down his cheek and hits his chest just above the neckline of his tank top. Jensen’s eyes move to follow it before fixating on his face again.

“You've got something on your chin, buddy,” Jensen says softly.

His cheeks flare with embarrassment and he feels hot all over, but when he glances back up, Jensen is just grinning at him. He remains frozen in place while Jensen reaches over with a napkin to wipe the wayward dollop of syrup away.

He can’t remember being touched by anyone other than his family except for when the doctors poked and prodded at him, but that was a long time ago. He can’t help but gaze back in wonder at Jensen’s long eyelashes and the full curve of his lips.

“You're really pretty,” he blurts out without thinking.

Jensen bristles and sits back stiffly in his chair.

“I’m sorry,” he says, letting his fork clatter to the table. “Please don’t be mad. I know I say things sometimes that make people scared of me.”

Through the fringe of his bangs, he watches Jensen lick his lips and sigh.

“I’m not scared of you, Jared,” Jensen whispers softly, offering an almost shy smile.

Jared beams back, not even trying to disguise his relief.

*

It’s nearly 4:30 when Jensen calls him back in the house again. In one day, he’s managed to get the grass to a manageable level and clear out most of the big ugly weeds choking the good plants. He’s wet from the leaky water hose and muddy from head to toe, but so very happy. He feels the contentedness of the place starting to creep in and it makes him feel good all over. Even Jensen is calmer and less nervous when he’s outside now.

“Give this to your dad, okay?” Jensen says, pressing a white envelope into Jared’s palm. “It’s got my address and payment for today in there.”

“Okay,” Jared replies, “I won’t forget.”

Jensen claps him on the back in a friendly way and Jared laughs out loud.

“Is it okay if I come back tomorrow?” he asks.

“If you want to, sure,” Jensen answers, “I won’t be here, though. I have to work.”

“That’s okay,” he nods. He’ll miss Jensen’s quiet presence but he wants more than anything to make the garden pretty again. Pretty for Jensen.

Jensen shrugs, fishes into his pocket, and produces a rusty old key.

“You’ll need this then,” Jensen says.

He must have looked kind of silly, maybe his tongue was hanging out, or his face was scrunched up, because Jensen wiggles it in front of him with a laugh.

“It’s for the tool shed, Jared,” he chuckles.

He’s too scared to even put his hand out, not having ever been trusted with anything so important before.

“Um, I don’t know if I can...”

Jensen reaches for his hand and drops the key in the center of his palm anyway.

Jared squeezes it really tight, so tight it digs grooves right into his hand.

“I won’t lose it,” he chokes out.

“I know you won’t.”

He wants to say more, to tell Jensen that rose bushes in the front yard will make everything seem happier or even that there’s an apple tree in the backyard that’ll give him lots and lots of juicy apples at the end of next summer if he clears away the shrubbery around it, but someone beeps a horn out front and he knows he can’t stay.

“That’s Meggie. I have to go,” he says.

“Meggie?”

“My little sister,” he answers even though he’s already running down the driveway toward the car. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you, Jensen!”

*****


It’s been less than one week but the place already looks different, at least that’s what Jensen thinks as he stands in the middle of his front yard as the late afternoon sun warms his back. So what if he left the office a bit early, it’s Friday after all, and he only used up half a tank of gas driving in traffic to get home. It’s not like he was hoping to see Jared or anything.

He barely gets a glimpse of the guy as he’s bent over the bare earth, hands muddy, and dirt smudges across his forehead, before Jared’s ride is whisking him away. He cranes his neck to catch a glimpse of the driver but whomever he or she is, they’re in an awfully big hurry to get home, and he doesn’t get more than Jared’s excited wave as the car pulls away.

He doesn’t know what he really expected to happen. Except for a midweek phone call to Jared’s father to thank him for the work and promise payment at the end of the week, he hasn’t had any contact at all with the Padalecki family. He shrugs. At least he knows the guy’s last name now.

It’s funny, but he’s never noticed the way the planters around the front of his house curve in a big wave. They’re empty now, probably waiting for Jared to plant some fresh new flowers in them. Jared’s also cleared away all the weeds and overgrown bushes. Even the trees have been trimmed to reveal the gorgeous windows that made the house look so charming in the first place.

It’s not like him to feel so sentimental but the house is starting to feel like a home again.

“Told you he could work miracles,” Sophia says, stepping up to stand beside him.

“Yeah, who’da thought.”

*

He’s just finished loading the dishwasher when his cell phone buzzes against the dining room table. It’s been a hellish week, mainly due to KQRX’s harried management team flying in from Phoenix to contribute to the negotiations. If anything, he’s learned to never let Mike handle a project on his own ever again. JD was less than pleased, but at the end of the week, the outcome was good so everyone went home happy.

He jogs over to the table and grabs his phone without even glancing at the caller ID.

“Jensen Ackles.”

“Honey, why do you sound out of breath?” his mother asks and Jensen has to smile.

“I was in another room, Momma,” he answers, dropping down onto the couch for what he knows will be another long phone call.

“You work too hard, baby,” she says. “There’s more to life than making money.”

“I know that, Momma,” he laughs.

It’s not like they don’t have this very same conversation at least every other week. At least, he’s not actually at work this time.

“And you know how I don’t like you driving all that way in the middle of the night,” she continues. “Why in the world you had to go and find a place so far from the city, I’ll never understand.”

“Well, you’ll be happy to hear that I’m already at home tonight,” he says proudly, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

“Oh?”

He can almost hear the click click click as her mind digests this new information.

“Is Danneel there? Are you going out on a date tonight?” she asks cheerfully, and he imagines that she’s already making plans for a garden wedding.

The truth is, he regrets ever telling her about Danneel in the first place because she never stops hounding him about meeting her. Ever since his brother, Josh, got married she’ll say, “one down, two to go” and it makes him cringe every time. It’s not like he’s averse to the idea of marriage and a family. In fact, he misses all those Sunday barbeques at his Grandma’s house. If he had to be completely honest with himself, it’s just that he’s not really ready to settle down yet. And, maybe, knowing that Danneel isn’t the right girl might have something to do with it too.

Oh, she’s a beautiful woman, alright, and sweet, at least when she wants to be. The thing is, though, there’s a hollowness about her that sometimes leaves him feeling empty. Most of the time, the great sex makes up for all of that, but not always, and he’s grateful for the long breaks they have in between.

“No, Momma,” he replies, “Danneel is in Vancouver filming a movie.”

“Jensen, when are you gonna bring that girl home to meet us?”

He sighs. It’s the same every time.

“I don’t really know,” he answers, “I don’t even know when I’ll get to come down again.”

“You need to make time, sweetie,” she chides. “What’s the point of being in charge if you can’t give yourself a day off once in a while.”

“It’s not exactly that simple,” he says with a tired laugh.

She chuckles softly on the other end, probably just as exasperated over having to rehash the same subjects over and over again.

“Well, if you don’t have a date, why are you at home?” she asks, “Are you sick or something, baby?”

“No, I’m fine,” he assures her, “just been having some work done on the house and I wanted to get home in time to see it in daylight.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, dear,” she says.

He settles back as she slowly relaxes into talking about her own week for a change, bringing him up to date on his father’s latest escapade on the golf course and his sister’s latest boyfriend. He listens with the detachment of someone who hasn’t lived at home for way too long, indulging in her need to keep him close even though he’s miles away.

At one point, his mind begins to wander and he pictures Jared laboring under the hot midday sun. He doesn’t know how the guy’s been able to tame the tangled mess of his yard but, in just a short time, it looks like new.

“Honey, I hope you’re planning on calling Danneel tonight while it’s still early,” his mother says, interrupting his thoughts. “Oh, I have an idea, why don’t you fly up to Vancouver and surprise her tomorrow afternoon? It’s a short flight, isn’t it?”

“Mom, you do realize Vancouver is in Canada, right?”

“Of course, I do. I can read a map as well as the next person.”

“Yeah, well, I already have plans for the weekend,” he says, hoping to divert her attention in any way possible.

“Plans? With whom?”

“Jared,” he says casually, “he’s the guy that’s landscaping my yard.”

“I see,” she says curtly, “well, just make sure you wear sunscreen, baby, you know how quickly you freckle.”


*****

Jared skips along the sidewalk, counting the blocks of cement as he goes along. In his backpack, there’s a change of clothes and his favorite book about flowers. He closes his eyes and makes a wish that Jensen will be home today so that he can show him the pretty pictures and tell him about how his garden wants to be.

Over the week, he’s worked meticulously to clear away all the bad, cutting back the overgrown shrubs and branches, pulling out weeds, and making room for something fresh and new underneath to grow. Now, it just needs a little bit of water and the healing sun to bring it back to life.

As each day passes he feels the contentment growing, the silent “thank you” in the air, like taking in a deep breath for the very first time. All that’s left now is to fill in the empty spaces with color. He knows the trees are already excited about the new voices that’ll be coming soon. He feels their buzzing like electricity underneath his skin.

He can’t wait to tell Jensen about it.

Jensen is a busy man. He’s like Jeff who can’t seem to find his smiles anymore because he has too many things to think about all the time. The problem is that Jensen leaves his house too early in the morning, before the sun even kisses the ground. If he would wait just a little while longer, he’d have more smiles for the day. Jared’s sure of that.

He rounds the corner and sees Jensen’s driveway. It’s almost 7 a.m. and the sun is already high in the sky, casting shadows along the tree-lined path. He feels the familiar warmth on his face and shoulders like a silent welcome, and when he looks, he sees Jensen’s car parked in front of the garage.

He feels giddy, almost ready to burst with excitement, because he’s waited all week and now he gets to share something very special. The best part is that he knows Jensen will understand and that he’ll want to be a part of it too. He knows this because Jensen isn’t like all the others. Jensen is different, he just doesn’t know it yet.

He trips up the front steps and raps lightly on the door. One Two. Three times, expecting Jensen to be sleepy-eyed and grumpy like the last time. Instead, the door swings open and Jensen is staring back at him with bright green eyes and a big smile. It lights him up inside.

There’s that luscious smell of bacon again, mixed with something sweet and Jared’s stomach rumbles loudly.

“Pancakes?” he whispers and then pinches his lips together with his fingertips to keep from squealing. He can already tell from the way Jensen is nodding that the answer is yes.

“Thought you might want something to eat before you get started,” Jensen says, stepping aside to let Jared enter.

The house is light and airy this time, mostly because Jensen has all of the curtains and windows thrown wide open. A slight breeze ruffles through, tickling his senses like laughter. He didn’t really get a chance to look around before, but now he sees dark wood and cream-colored shades with a smattering of bright here and there. He can feel the loneliness in everything around him, though, not because Jensen is rarely home, but because of Jensen. It makes him sad, but only just a little bit, because he’s already determined to make everything different.

Jensen is wearing faded jeans that are so threadbare in places, Jared can see skin underneath. His momma scolds him all the time about wearing clothes with holes in them, but he knows how good it feels to put on something soft and familiar. He wonders if Jensen’s momma would scold him too if she knew. Maybe he’s just lucky she can’t see him right now.

Jared watches the way the light plays across Jensen’s gray t-shirt as he follows him across the wooden floor to the kitchen. He’s momentarily distracted by the pull of fabric across muscled shoulders and the short sandy blonde hairs at the back of Jensen’s neck. Jensen’s waist is so thin, he thinks his arms could fit twice around, but then, Momma always tells him he’s too big anyway. Jensen is almost as tall as he is, but his arms aren’t too long and his feet aren’t too big, the way his are.

The kitchen is warm, bright, and filled with so many delicious aromas. He slides into a chair, right in front of a steaming plate of bacon and scrambled eggs.

“Pancakes are almost ready,” Jensen says. “Go ahead and start.”

He’s tempted to just dig in, but he wants to wait for Jensen instead. Bouncing in his chair excitedly, mouth watering and tummy growling in anticipation, he watches Jensen flip the last of the pancakes onto a plate.

Jensen looks at him questioningly for a minute when he finally sits down, probably surprised that Jared didn’t dive right into the food. He beams back proudly, knowing he did the right thing when Jensen smiles and extends his hand so that they can say Grace together.

With a voice that’s deep and resonant, Jensen says his thanks and Jared is certain that God must have heard the reverent prayer. He echoes his thanks silently, not just for the food before him, but for bringing him Jensen too.

He’s about to dig in, fork poised in mid-air, when he feels a gentle hand on his forearm.

“Here,” Jensen says tentatively, “put your napkin in your lap so you don’t get food on your clothes.”

Jensen pauses before reaching over to lay the napkin over his thighs. Jared’s stunned by the feel of that warm, dry palm against his skin, and the casual brush of Jensen’s arm across his body. There’s a strange tickle somewhere deep in his belly and then a warm flush from his head down to his toes.

Lips pursed in concentration, he watches Jensen’s graceful movement as he spreads butter and syrup onto his pancakes before biting into a narrow slice. Jared copies the motion, hesitating when he thinks he wants to pour on more of his favorite maple.

“You can add more if you want,” Jensen says, reading his thoughts.

He really wants to, but his desire to please Jensen wins out instead so, replacing the bottle on the table, he takes an experimental taste. It’s not as sweet, of course, but the pancakes are fluffy and buttery-tasting on the inside.

“I like it,” he laughs, surprised at his own revelation.

They eat together in companionable silence, Jared trying to carefully mirror Jensen’s movements, if only to see Jensen’s delighted smile.

“You’ve done a great job with the place,” Jensen says once they’d gone through about half of the pancakes and most of the eggs and bacon. “I’m really impressed.”

Jared blushes under the praise. The people that he helps always say nice things, but it feels different somehow when Jensen says it.

“I want to show you pictures of what your garden wants to be,” he says shyly. “Do you want to see?”

“Absolutely!”

Jensen clears a spot on the table between them and Jared happily jumps for the backpack he left carelessly on the floor. Pulling out the big book, he fingers the pages excitedly for a moment, barely able to contain his enthusiasm.

“This is my favorite book,” he states. “My daddy gave it to me.”

The book is worn around the edges and some of the pages are smudged with dirt, but to him it’s just as beautiful as the first day Daddy sat down with him to look at it.

“This,” he says, pointing eagerly to a colorful photograph, “this goes in the front by the house.”

“Roses?” Jensen asks, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “roses. Red and some yellow and pink ones on the side.”

“Okay.”

“And Sweet Dreams under the windows on the side of the house,” he continues, confident now that Jensen isn’t putting up a fuss, “and Daylilies in the back.”

“Cool.”

Jared nods back, suddenly a little choked up over Jensen’s trust and easy acceptance. He can always see things so clearly in his mind, like the pictures are placed there from somewhere else. Most of the time, though, he has to pretend that he doesn’t know the way things are supposed to be, and settle for what he’s told to do instead.

“It’s going to be really pretty, Jensen,” he whispers, “and happy too.”

“So, uh, does this mean the grass won’t be mad at me anymore?” Jensen asks teasingly.

Jared throws his head back and lets the laughter bubble right out.

“No more poking you when you walk by,” he chortles.

“Well, that’s a relief.”

Jensen is smiling at him, eyes crinkling at the corners, and Jared knows he really means what he says. A lot of times, he feels like people make fun of him, but he knows that Jensen isn’t doing that.

“I guess this means we need to make a trip to the garden shop,” Jensen says. “Better get started if we want to pick up everything today.”

“You gonna go with me?” he asks incredulously.

“Well, yeah,” Jensen replies, “how else were you planning to getting all of this?”

“You’re not too busy?”

“Ah,” Jensen shrugs, “work will wait for me to get home. Come on, let’s do this.”

Jared beams with delight. It’s going to be a great day.

*

Jensen’s car smells like leather and spicy cologne. It only takes a minute for the air conditioner to cool the inside and, when the windows are all the way up, it’s extra quiet as they drive down the road to his favorite nursery.

His friend, Steve, greets them when the pull into the parking lot, shaking hands with Jensen and shooting teasing looks his way.

“You working on another big project, Jared?” Steve asks and he nods back happily.

“Jensen’s house,” he says simply.

Steve pauses, eyeing both Jensen and his expensive car.

“Alright then,” Steve addresses Jensen, “and what are you looking for today?”

His companion holds his hands up in front of him and takes a step backward.

“Oh no,” Jensen says, “this is completely Jared’s show. I’m just the owner of the credit card.”

There’s a gleam in Steve’s eye as he nods his approval and Jared is very proud.

“Good man,” Steve whispers, patting Jensen on a shoulder, “you’ve made the right decision.”

They follow Steve all the way to the very back of the shop and Jared nearly swoons over the fresh, healthy plants surrounding them. The smell of the earth and green leaves are wonderfully overwhelming and he can feel the way everything seems to perk up around him.

The excitement in the air is nearly intoxicating and he can sense Jensen unknowingly picking up on it too when he orders some ficus trees to be delivered for the back yard. Jared finds everything he needs, seeing colors swimming before his eyes, as Steve helps them load the plants into the back of Jensen’s Range Rover. They even get a few bags of fertilizer and an invitation to visit again at the beginning of the next season.

*

Jensen is radiating contentment and Jared feels it like it’s his own.

“You’re going to be really happy, Jensen,” he says finally, “you’ll see. When everything’s done, it’ll feel right and maybe you won’t be so lonely anymore.”

He sees Jensen frown and grip the steering wheel a little bit tighter, and for a second, he thinks he can’t breathe out of fear that he ruined the moment.

“I’m sorry,” he says miserably, “I say the wrong thing sometimes.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jensen says, green eyes turning to gaze at him, “you don’t have to worry about what you say around me.”

He wishes he could curl into a ball and hide. Jensen’s voice is soft and soothing but he’s still too scared to move.

“Hey,” Jensen says, dropping a gentle hand on his shoulder to get his attention, “you wanna stop for some ice cream on the way home? I think we deserve it.”

He nods hesitantly and doesn’t let go of the breath he’d been holding until Jensen smiles back with his eyes.



The ice cream shop is on a crowded corner. Jensen parks the car under a shady tree and they quickly snag a table in front. Jared orders the biggest banana split on the menu and chews greedily on the cherry the minute it’s set in front of him.

A couple of times, Jensen reaches over to wipe chocolate sauce and melted ice cream from his chin. At first, he’s afraid that Jensen is angry about how messy he is, but Jensen only says, “slow down, buddy” and continues eating his own sundae. He tries to eat a little bit slower and discovers that he can actually taste it better that way.

“You two are so sweet together,” someone says behind him, and he turns to find two men watching them with adoring smiles.

“Thanks,” Jensen replies stiffly. Jared can tell that Jensen is embarrassed about something but he doesn’t know what it is.

A few seconds later, he notices the two men giggle and inch a little bit closer to one another. They’re sharing one big bowl between them, alternately feeding each other spoonfuls of ice cream and kissing each other on the lips.

“They’re kissing,” Jared blurts out and Jensen nearly drops his spoon.

“Yes, they are,” Jensen says, trying to recover his composure.

“One time, we came home and Meggie was in her bedroom with a boy,” Jared announces. “They were lying on the bed and kissing.”

“Oh really?”

“Uh huh. Momma screamed and made me go to my room but I saw.”

Jensen seems to want to hold in his laughter with the hand he’s covering his mouth with.

“Meggie told me that she really liked the boy and that’s why she kissed him,” he continues thoughtfully, “but then she didn’t seem to want to kiss him after that.”

Jensen looks at him for a long moment and then says, “Well, I guess it’s important that you really like somebody if you’re going to kiss them.”

Jared nudges Jensen’s shoulder and whispers, “I guess that means those guys really like each other then.”

*

They work together for the rest of the afternoon, laying fertilizer and preparing the soil for planting. They’re both exhausted by the end of the day, covered in both dirt and sweat.

The birds chirp happily from their perches as the breeze flutters through the leaves and he sees Jensen lift his face toward the sound. He stops and waits. Jensen listens, a little smile playing at the corners of his mouth. That enigmatic look tells him that Jensen doesn’t quite understand the song yet, but Jared knows he will someday.

He’s still studying Jensen’s face when the man turns an engaging smile his way.

“The sun’s about to go down,” Jensen says finally, breaking the spell. “Who’s picking you up today?”

“I’m supposed to catch the bus. Meggie has a date.”

He doesn’t mean to, but his face scrunches up as he says that last word.

“What’s the matter? Don’t like her boyfriend?” Jensen asks.

“He’s okay, I guess,” he pouts.

Jensen chuckles, patting him on the back reassuringly. “Come on,” he says, “let’s get cleaned up and then I’ll drive you home.”

It’s takes only a few minutes to put everything away, and then Jared follows Jensen into the house.

“I need to change my clothes,” he says. “Don’t wanna mess up your nice car.”

“You have a change of clothes? Take a shower then, you’ll feel better,” Jensen remarks. “I wanna shower off too anyway.”

Jensen leads him to a bathroom halfway down the hall. He hovers around the door awkwardly as Jensen takes out a set of fluffy white towels and lays them on the closed toilet lid next to the tub.

“I’ll be in the bedroom right over there,” Jensen says. “You set here?”

He stands there mutely, chewing on his bottom lip. He knows how to bathe by himself but he’s never had to do this part alone before. Jensen seems to be trying really hard to read his thoughts. For a moment, he wishes he were like the wind who can say things without words.

“Here,” Jensen says finally, taking his hand and leading him to toward the shower, “pull it out like this to start the water running and then just move this thing toward red for hot, and blue for cold until it feels just right. Just push it in to turn it off, okay?”

He hesitates, hand poised above the knob.

“Just try it,” Jensen urges, “you’ll be fine.”

“I know how to take a bath by myself,” he says.

“I know,” Jensen responds and then steps back to give him enough room to move about on his own.

He swallows. The knob pulls out easily and water pours from the shower head like rain.

“I did it,” he whispers, turning to look at his new friend, “I did it myself.”

“You sure did, buddy,” Jensen replies softly. “Come and find me when you’re done, okay?”

He nods happily, letting his fingers dance beneath the warm water for a few seconds more. He hears the door close quietly behind him and he’s left alone for the first time all day. The sound of water pelting against the shower curtain echoes through the empty room. It’s loud, like a freak summer storm in the middle of hot day.

He undresses quickly and steps under the warm water, lets it envelop him in comforting heat. The water turns brown as it pools around his toes, washing away a hard day’s work. The memories remain fresh in his mind, though, Jensen flipping pancakes, Jensen picking out colors for this rose garden, Jensen wiping melted ice cream off of his chin, Jensen with hands covered in mud, and Jensen’s eyes, reflecting nothing but trust and understanding as he steps through the bathroom door. He catalogs each moment and files it away for safe keeping.

*

Jared steps out into the hallway, squeaky clean and smelling like soap. Outside, the sun’s barely dropped below the horizon and the house is washed in murky shades of gray. He hears Jensen shuffling around in his bedroom, and he’s drawn toward the sound.

There’s an innate calmness about the way Jensen moves about the room, even in the way he pulls a t-shirt over his head. It’s a kind of measured certainty, as though he’s absolutely confident of his surroundings. Jared understands. It’s the way he feels when he’s outside with his hands buried in the soil.

He clutches his wet towel to his chest, feeling too big and a little out of place in a room that is clearly Jensen’s private domain.

“I... um, don’t know where to put this,” he says, hating the sound of his voice as it breaks the peaceful silence in the room.

“You could’ve just left it in the bathroom,” Jensen replies.

“I didn’t want to do it wrong,” he shrugs, “Momma always gets mad when I don’t put it in the right place.”

“She sounds just like my momma,” Jensen says with a slight shake of his head. “I guess they’re all the same, huh?”

Jared’s eyes go wide with surprise.

“You mean, your momma scolds you if you leave your towel on the floor too?”

“Oh yeah,” Jensen laughs, “and you should hear her go on and on if I leave my clothes lying around.”

Jared gasps, hands clamped over his mouth to keep from shouting, and his legs start to shake like they can barely keep from bouncing up and down. Jensen’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he grins back and Jared feels like he’s floating on air.

“Don’t worry,” Jensen whispers with a wink, “I’ll take care of it.”

Jared hands the towel over and their fingers brush in the process. He feels a shock go through his system at the feel of Jensen’s skin against his and it knocks the breath right out of him.

“Hey, dude,” Jensen says, tilting his head to the side, “you’re shirt’s getting all wet.”

And then his stomach plummets straight to the floor. He stiffens, chewing on his bottom lip as he waits for the inevitable. He always makes mistakes. Always. Even when he tries so hard not to.

Strangely, there’s no censure in Jensen’s look as he drapes the towel over Jared’s head to give it a gentle rub down. Jensen’s standing so close, he’s aware of the way Jensen is breathing and the heat that radiates from the man’s body. It actually takes a moment for him to realize that Jensen isn’t even the least bit upset with him, and then he nearly sags with relief, unconsciously moving closer until the two of them are virtually sharing the same air.

“There you go,” Jensen pronounces, stepping back to examine his handiwork.

Jared sways forward, not wanting to break the contact. He’s not sure what he’s feeling but it makes him warm all over and flushed with excitement.

“I like you, Jensen,” he whispers, “I like being with you.”

“I like being with you, too.”

*

He watches Jensen drive with half lidded eyes. It’s become his new favorite thing to do now that he knows Jensen likes him too. He’s a little afraid that Jensen won’t like it if he stares too much so he leans his head back and pretends to sleep. The radio is on low and the melodic sounds are soothing like a lullaby.

He’s sure there’s been some kind of shift in the atmosphere. He feels it all the way to his toes. Before, there was always something missing, just out of reach, like he’s just a little too late to see what’s really there, but now things are coming into focus, and in the center of it all is Jensen. With Jensen, it’s almost as if they’re in a separate world where time moves slow enough for him to breathe and everything makes sense.



“I think I should go and meet your dad,” Jensen says. “What do you think?”

Jared looks up to the window on the second floor. The light is barely more than a dim glow, indicating his daddy’s already resting.

“Daddy’s sick,” he answers sadly, “he can’t come downstairs very much anymore.”

“I didn’t know... Has he been ill for a long time?”

Jared nods.

“Nobody ever tells me anything but I know he’s not getting better.” He takes a deep breath, fighting to keep his throat from closing up. “He hasn’t been able to come outside with me in a really long time.”

Jensen’s hand squeezes his shoulder. He feels the warmth of that touch seep through his skin until it slowly unwinds the hurt around his heart.

“I tell him about you,” he whispers, “and it makes him smile. I know he’d like you, Jensen.”

Jensen’s smile is a little sad but he nods back slowly.

“I’m sure I’d like him too,” Jensen says.

Jensen hesitates, like there’s something more he’d like to say but can’t find the right words. A moment later, he presses an envelope into Jared’s hand.

“Make sure you give this to him,” Jensen says. His voice sounding scratchy, like it’s been overused even though Jared knows Jensen’s barely said anything at all.

He wants to stay longer, hug Jensen close and make sure his friend isn’t sick, but he’s already at home and he knows that Daddy will want to hear about his day before it gets too late.

“I won’t forget,” he promises, smiling his most cheerful smile. He hopes it’ll make Jensen feel better somehow. It must work because Jensen’s eyes twinkle when he grins back.

“I know you won’t forget, buddy,” Jensen remarks. “You gonna work on the rose bushes this week?”

He sees a flash of color in his mind and it immediately perks him up again.

“Yes,” he says dreamily, “the pink ones want to be first, though. They don’t like how the red ones get all the attention.”

That makes Jensen laugh. Jared can feel the rumble coming from deep in Jensen’s chest and he’s glad to know that he can do that. Make Jensen happy.

“I hate it when that happens,” Jensen chuckles.

“Me too.”

Jensen reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear and he leans in to the touch.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to help,” Jensen says softly, “work is gonna be pretty intense this week.”

“That’s okay,” he smiles, “I can’t come over every day anyway. Mrs. O’Hara’s begonias need me to check on them. Um, Jensen, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“You don’t need to do it if you don’t want to,” Jared rambles, “I mean, it’s okay if you think it’s stupid...”

“I won’t think it’s stupid. I promise.”

He gazes into Jensen’s eyes. It’s so dark outside, he can’t see their green color anymore but he knows how they match the new leaves on the rose bushes they brought home that afternoon.

He’s always been different. It’s something he just knew, even before anyone ever told him. Over time, he’s learned that people don’t like it when he says things they don’t understand so he mostly keeps his thoughts to himself. Jensen doesn’t look at him funny, though, not since that first day when he was silly and blurted out the thing about Jensen’s grass not liking him. It wasn’t Jensen’s fault he got scared. He should have been more careful then.

Now, he thinks Jensen’s ready to hear a little bit of what the wind wants to tell him and, even though he’s a little afraid, he wants to take the risk and tell him.

“Can you wait until the sun hits the top of the sycamore tree before you leave in the morning?” he asks cautiously, “that way, the trees have a chance to say good morning to you before you leave.”

He sucks in a deep breath, holds it, and waits for Jensen to respond. Jensen looks back at him thoughtfully, searching his eyes for something, though he’s not quite sure what. After a long pause, he nods.

“I can do that,” Jensen replies.

Jared’s breath rushes out in one great whoosh and he has to fight back the urge to jump into Jensen’s lap to hug him.

“That’ll be so great!” he exclaims, “you’ll see, Jensen, it’ll make everything so much better.”

He hops out of the car then, giddy with delight, and all of a sudden anxious to tell his daddy about what he’s done.

“I’ll see you next weekend,” Jensen calls as he starts to walk away. “Take good care of your dad. When he feels better, I’d like to meet him.”

“Okay!”

He can feel Jensen watching him as he walks to the front door so he turns to wave happily just before going inside. The car roars to life but doesn’t drive away until he’s shut the door safely behind him.

*

He bounds up the stairs, envelope clutched tightly in his hand. He’s been told often enough not to be too noisy when he goes into Daddy’s room so he slows down and tiptoes the rest of way down the hall. Dropping his backpack on the floor in the doorway, he takes a moment to run his finger over Jensen’s lazy scrawl. He recognizes the lettering, For Jared, and knows that Jensen put it there to mean it’s for him. He traces the ink lines again and it’s almost like touching Jensen. Almost.

There’s a glow from a lamp on the bedside table. His dad looks pale but he has a smile for Jared just the same.

“Daddy, this is from Jensen,” he says, touching the lettering one more time because he’s more than a little reluctant to let it go.

“That’s good, son. Let me see.”

“I’ll take care of that for your Gerald,” Lauren says, snatching the envelope out of Jared’s hand.

He tries not to scrunch his face up too much because Daddy won’t like seeing him upset, but he doesn’t like the idea of Lauren touching something that’s his.

“He has quite a nice car,” she says, turning the envelope around in her hand, “I’ll bet he can afford to pay you well.”

“Mr. Ackles has been very generous,” his father responds and then turns his attention fully onto Jared, like he does at the end of every day. “He brought you home, son, that was awfully nice.”

“I told him Meggie had a date and he said he didn’t want me to catch the bus home,” he whispers, crawling onto the bed to cuddle up to his daddy.

“I’m not done giving your father his medication, Jared,” Lauren chides, “and you’ll get the bed dirty. Why don’t you go and clean up first?”

He wants to tell Daddy about the roses and the trip to the garden shop, how Jensen had liked his book, and about the men kissing as they ate ice cream. But those things are not for Lauren. They’re just for Daddy to hear.

“You cleaned up already,” his father says, ruffling his hair.

“Jensen let me take a bath at his house,” he beams, “I did it all by myself.”

“That’s great son,” Gerry says softly, “you’re a big boy, aren’t you?”

“I’ll bet that’s what Jensen says too,” Lauren remarks, and he feels his father’s body go rigid.

“Don’t talk like that,” his dad hisses, “he doesn’t even know what that means.”

“All I’m saying is that it’s a little weird, don’t you think?” she continues, “I mean, what do we really know about this man anyway?”

“Jensen’s nice!” Jared shouts, maybe a little too loudly but he doesn’t care. “He makes me pancakes and he works really hard all the time. And he helped me today, Daddy,” he says urgently, “he even got really dirty just like me.”

“Gerald,” Lauren says, ignoring his outburst completely, “Jeff and I have talked about this and we’re a bit concerned.”

“Jared likes him,” his father responds definitively, “and that’s good enough for me.”

She opens her mouth as if to protest some more but his dad just turns away from her. She stares back at him for a moment, looking somewhat offended at being dismissed, before directing her attention back at Jared.

“You have to leave now,” she says flatly, “I have to finish up here with your father and then he needs his rest.”

He walks out sullenly, wishing that she would go away and that things would go back to the way it was before. It’s been too long since his daddy’s eyes sparkled like the late afternoon sun. Much too long.