Title: The Radio Wedding ‘Verse: The Big Case Of Bad Luck
Author: tinalia
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word Count: 8930
Summary: Things go from bad to worse when Jared loses his wedding ring, setting in motion a chain of bad luck that neither Jared nor Jensen were prepared for. Part Eight of the Radio Wedding Verse.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven


Author’s Notes: Thanks again to the fabulous chez_amanda for the beta.




Due to the upcoming finales of a few highly rated television shows - that were scheduled to show against Supernatural’s usual timeslot - the network announced that new episodes would resume airing after a 2-week hiatus. As a result, Eric and the producers deliberated and decided that once the current episode was finished, filming would be put on hold for a week; being already well ahead with the season and giving all cast and crew a much needed break.

Excited about the prospect of seven days - seven full days - off work, Jared and Jensen decided it was time to finally get started on extending the back deck. Having called in another favour with their builder buddies from set-production, the extension was going to take less than an afternoon to complete with help from Brian, Pete and Cody. Brian ordered wood from his usual contractor and had it delivered to the house a few days in advance, and when the boys got home from work that night, Jared let the dogs out and they rushed over to investigate the pile of new timber; Sadie snuffling and Harley rubbing his back against it.

Their first day off, Jared and Jensen spent the morning in bed. Jared, unable to switch off his internal alarm clock, lay back on propped pillows with the remote in his hand and quietly watched television as Jensen slept nestled beside him. He watched a few hours of TV; cartoons followed by infomercials; giving the occasional glance over at his sleeping husband, bored and itching to wake him up simply to have someone to talk to.

When he reached a hand over to nudge him and opened his mouth to speak, Jensen beat him to it, “Don’t. I’m sleeping.”

Jared gaped, “You’re awake?”

“No,” Jensen replied, his eyes closed as he mumbled into the blankets gathered around his chin.

“But you’re----”

“Shhhh,” Jensen hushed.

“But I’m booored,” Jared moaned.

“Take the kids for a run.”

“But I wanted-----” Jared said, cutting himself off, realising how ridiculous the rest sounded and then saying it anyway, “I wanted to be here when you...woke up.”

“Could you be any gayer?”

Jared huffed, “We haven’t hung out in bed since the last time we had a break.”

“You wanna cuddle? I could probably swing that,” Jensen said, his mouth quirking into a grin, “I still wouldn’t be any gayer than you.”

Jared threw the remote down on the bed and went to get up, “I hate you.”

Jensen reached out and snatched him from the edge of the bed, pulling him back and throwing the blankets over him. Jared chuckled as Jensen snuggled down, a hand fisted in the fabric of Jared’s t-shirt as he rubbed his cheek back and forth over Jared’s chest until he’d found the most comfortable resting place.

“There you go, you big gay baby,” Jensen muttered with a sigh, his eyes still closed, “Now watch TV and let me sleep, dammit.”

Jared grinned and resumed the watching of infomercials, curling his arms around Jensen’s shoulders as they both sighed, sinking further into the comfort and warmth of their bed.


Brian, Pete and Cody arrived around noon, reversing Brian’s trade van up the driveway to the back of the house. They wore their tool belts and sunglasses as they lugged out various equipment to aid the building of the deck extension. Cody measured out and marked the lines of timber for Pete to cut. When Pete started up the power saw, Harley ran for his life, sprinting into the safety of the house while Sadie warily plonked herself down between Jared’s and Jensen’s legs.

Jensen became enthused and helped Brian extend the frame of the deck, digging and sealing foundation poles into the ground while Cody slotted the timber in and Jared hammered nails. Jensen watched him carefully, only taking the hammer from him seconds before he could smash his thumbnail.

“Why don’t you put the furniture together,” Jensen suggested, twirling the hammer in his hand, “That way we can all sit down and have a beer when we’re done.”

Jared stretched a hand out for the hammer, “But----“

Brian chuckled, witnessing the exchange, “It’s for the best, Jared.”

“Aww, man,” Jared sighed, dragging himself dejectedly over to the garage.

Jensen and the others watched as Jared impressively carried over the narrow and exceptionally heavy boxes containing the parts of the outdoor furniture set, stacking them on the newly laid timber of the deck. They had bought the furniture set a while ago - in the hopes that it would eventually motivate them enough to get the deck extended - and when it was all fastened together, it would consist of a large octagon table with a sun umbrella and eight chairs.

“You’re gonna regret not wanting my help,” Jared called over to them all as he headed back to grab another box, “My furniture putting-together skills are gonna look badass compared to your stupid deck.

Jensen smirked, sharing the same look with the others, “I’m sure they will, honey.”

Cody, Pete and Brian all sniggered at Jensen’s term of endearment, even as Jared’s voice hollered from the garage, “Don’t patronize me!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, pumpkin,” Jensen replied.

“Fuck you!”

“It’s okay, Jared,” Pete called to him, “You can show the rest of us how awesome you are.”

Jensen narrowed his eyes at him in a mock-glare, “Traitor!”

“Thanks Pete,” Jared said, walking from the garage with a box as he flashed a grin in Pete’s direction, and then promptly poked his tongue out at Jensen.

“Uh oh, someone’s in the doghouse,” Cody sing-songed.

Brian laughed, “Just like a real marriage.”

Jensen smiled to himself, and then full out grinned when Jared winked at him good-naturedly, “It is a real marriage.”

The guys finished the five-metre extension of the deck and set about building the plant boxes around the edges - an idea that had grown from Jensen’s love of the garden at their Chianti honeymoon home. Jared and Jensen knew that if they started building a garden into their back yard, Harley would undoubtedly tear up any progress they made in a matter of hours. So, while they had flicked through home improvement magazines, Jared had prodded his finger down onto a page that had a picture of a deck with plant boxes. They had smiled at each other in total agreement, thrilled that they’d found a way to get what they wanted, as well as a way to thwart Harley’s destructive tendencies.

Brian was chatting with Jensen, suggesting ceramic planters to place inside the boxes, “...it’ll be easier to control and that way you won’t end up having weeds growing up through the deck.”

“Good idea,” Jensen replied.

“And...” Cody said as Pete handed him the final piece of timber for the last plant box, and he fitted it in and nailed it into place, “We’re done.”

Jared, lounging bare-chested in his long grey shorts, hooted from his slouch in one of the new wooden chairs he'd put together; his bare feet crossed at the ankles and resting on the table as he fished bottles of beer from the icebox and handed them out. The guys accepted gratefully, hot and sweaty in the afternoon sun and rolling their t-shirt sleeves up over their shoulders. Jensen pulled his t-shirt off, tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans and plucked at his black wife-beater, unsticking it from his skin as he sat next to Jared, taking the beer he offered him.

Pete sighed pleasantly as he sank into a seat, “Another raging success for the P,B and C team.”

The group laughed at that and Cody shifted experimentally in his seat, “These chairs are actually really comfortable.”

Brian hummed in agreement as he pulled his baseball cap from his head and scrubbed his fingers through his hair, “This table is fucking huge.”

Jared spoke as he and Jensen shared a warm look, “We have a big family.”


After getting to work in putting all of the equipment back in the van and sweeping up the sawdust, bent nails and small off-cuts of wood and throwing them in the wheel barrow, the boys hung around for a few more hours. Cody went out with Jared to buy dinner for the group while Jensen followed Brian and Pete in his Land Rover as they dropped home the trade van, before they piled into the Rover and went on a booze run.

Jensen, Brian and Pete were relaxed in their seats, drinking beer when Jared and Cody got back with bags of takeout from the Grill house. They all ate and Brian, Pete and Cody drank enthusiastically while Jensen sipped at leisure, deciding with a quick awkward glance in Jared’s direction that given how his last drunken adventure had turned out, getting plastered again was probably not the best idea. And with the way Jared slowly consumed his beer, he seemed to be in agreement.

As the sun went down, Jared turned the downstairs office and laundry room lights on to give the deck some illumination, and Jensen grabbed a citronella candle from the garage to put on the table, taking out his cigarette lighter and lighting the wick.

A while later, Brian looked up from the text message on his cell phone and grinned at the others, “I’ve gotta be off. The missus wants me.”

“Yeah, I should get home too,” Pete said, kicking a foot into the leg of Cody’s chair, “Hey, wake up.”

Cody awoke, startled and mumbling, “What...”

“Come on, home time,” Pete said.

Brian got to his feet and pocketed his phone. “Thanks for dinner and the beer.”

“Hey, we’re good like that,” Jensen replied with a chuckle, shaking his hand and patting him on the shoulder. “You guys are the best.”

“Yeah man, thank y’all for doing this,” Jared agreed, one-armed hugging them all.

After Jensen had paid the taxicab driver in advance to get the guys home, he closed the door of the cab and he and Jared made their way together up the driveway; shoulders and elbows brushing as they walked. In bed, they lay facing each other as they discussed things they could do in the next several days, feeling and enjoying the familiarity of all the nights they spent talking each other to sleep on their honeymoon.

Just before Jensen completely gave himself away to blissful unconsciousness, Jared leaned in and kissed him gently alongside his nose, wishing him goodnight. Jensen went to sleep with a smile softly warming his face; it was the last thing Jared saw before he, too, fell asleep.



It was the next morning, as Jared busied himself hanging freshly ironed dress shirts in the closet, that he noticed his wedding ring wasn’t on his finger. His immediate thought was to check the nearby carpet to see if it had landed anywhere, so he turned in a circle, stepping carefully as he scanned the floor. When he came up with nothing, he went straight into panic mode.

“Jensen!”

At hearing his name hollered loudly from the bedroom, Jensen’s hand jerked, nicking himself with his razor as he shaved in the ensuite bathroom. Jensen cussed, grabbing a tissue and hissing as he pressed it to the small bleeding cut just beneath his jaw.

“Dammit, Jared!” he growled, moving to stand in the doorway and seeing Jared walk about in starts, “What are you doing?”

“Retracing my steps!”

Jensen sighed, “Need I bother asking?”

Jared paused in his rifling of clothes drawers to look up at him, eyes wide and worried, “I can’t find my wedding ring.”

Upon seeing just how flustered and anxious Jared was, Jensen rinsed off his razor and threw the tissue in the bathroom trash can, immediately moving to help, “When did you have it last?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be looking for it!” Jared wailed, reaching up his hands to grip at his hair. Jensen leapt forward and tugged Jared’s hands away before they could do any damage, holding them against his chest.

“Think real hard---”

“But I am,” Jared sighed heavily, bouncing anxiously on the balls of his feet and wildly looking over the room, “Oh god, what if I can’t find it? What if it’s gone forever?”

“Then we’ll get you another one, it’s fine---“

“I don’t want another one!” Jared whined, gaping at his husband like it was ridiculous that he would even suggest such a thing, “You put that ring on my finger---!”

Jensen shrugged, “I can do it again?”

“---on our wedding day! You can’t duplicate that!”

“Jared---“

Jared gulped, breathing deeply through his nose, “Good lord, I think I’m gonna be sick---”

“Jared, look at me. Calm down,” Jensen ordered, and when Jared sighed and finally did as he was told, he continued, “Now, what did you do this morning?”

Jared glanced off in thought, chewing at his lip, “I...got up, got dressed, went for a run with the dogs, came back, put them out in the yard, fed them, had a shower...”

Jensen quirked an eyebrow up at him when Jared trailed off, then he abruptly yanked his hands out of Jensen's grasp and ran from the room; Jensen following close behind, “Jared?”

“Harley was still pumped from the run and he jumped on me when I fed them,” Jared called over his shoulder, rapidly jogging down the stairs before bursting into the kitchen, “I was covered in dog meat and slobber so I took my ring off and washed my hands...”

Jared stopped by the kitchen sink, studying the bench like it had all of the answers. Jared’s hand hovered over the bare counter top, “I put it right...here.”

Jensen peered dubiously around Jared’s shoulder, “You’re sure?”

Jared nodded, Jensen following him with his eyes as he turned to take in the room, before glancing back at the bench and pointing, “Positive.”

Jensen paused when his gaze fell on Harley, who was sitting by the wall and staring back at him, head cocked to the side. The uneasy feeling growing in the pit of his stomach told him there was more to the situation than they were seeing, and as Harley dropped his eyes - much like he had a couple of years ago when Jensen had caught him tearing up the contents of his sock drawer - Jensen just knew the dog was behind it. And as he thought back to seeing Harley raised on his hind legs against the bench earlier, simply assuming he was trying to drink from the tap like he did sometimes, Jensen put two and two together.

Jared hovered over the sink, lamenting the possibility of losing his wedding ring to the garbage disposal and Jensen tapped at his arm until Jared threw him an exasperated look.

Jensen pointed accusingly at the dog, and Jared turned to look at Harley, confused, “I saw him up against the bench earlier. I didn’t think anything of it, just told him to get down.”

Jared’s hairline seemed to droop, his expression dead-panning as he, too, made the connection, “Oh...fuck.”

Jensen flashed him a more upbeat expression, hitting Jared affectionately in the gut with the back of his hand, “Look on the bright side...At least we know where it is?”




Jared sat alert and fidgety in one of the chairs near the edge of the deck, the sun bouncing off the lines of muscle along his exposed torso as he watched Harley's every move with the passion of an angry parent. Jensen lay on one of the adjustable sunning chairs, flat on his belly with his arms folded beneath his head and his sunglasses over his eyes as he let the sun heat his naked back.

“I can’t believe we’re wasting an afternoon off waiting for your damn dog to poop your wedding ring out.”

“Our damn dog,” Jared replied weakly.

“Nuh uh,” Jensen refused, “In these instances, he’s your damn dog. Because Jared, husband of mine, light of my life - I agreed to a lot of things when I said my vows but picking your wedding ring out of Harley’s doodie was not one of them.”

Jared snorted, amused, “You said doodie.”

“Why don’t you go yell at him some more? I’m sure your last attempt got his bowel movements in motion,” Jensen said, finding himself to be all too funny as he shook his head and chuckled, “They just need a little nudge.”

“You’re such an ass,” Jared replied as he frowned out over the lawn, “Man, he just does not wanna poop!”

Jensen lifted his head from his arms and whistled over at the dogs, “Harley! For the love of god, fuckin’ poop already. Your father’s driving me insane.”

“You’re insane.”

“Well, your face is insane.”

“Your-----“ Jared immediately stopped himself before he could finish the sentence with Momma’s face is insane, backtracking at Jensen’s smug, mock-curiosity, “Not even going to justify that with a response.”

Jensen grinned into the skin of his arm, “Smart man.”

When Jared spotted Harley squatting down under a tree at the end of the lawn, he casually stood up, launched himself smoothly over the plant boxes and softened his landing on the grass with a bend of his knees before snatching the hose from the ground and determinedly walking over.

“Let him finish before you start squirting,” Jensen called out, “We are not wasting another two hours on Harley’s shitty ass.”

When Jared returned with his freshly rinsed wedding band, he held it up triumphantly at Jensen, who quickly leapt up and backed away, “Flick that at me and you’re a dead man.”

Jared grinned mischievously, teetering on the balls of his feet for a seemingly quick launch forward. Jensen removed his sunglasses, hooking them into the waistband of his long black shorts as he walked backwards into the house.

“Don’t do it, Jared.”

Jared burst forward, disappearing through the back door with speed. The sounds of heavy running along the tiles of the kitchen floor, Jensen’s loudly expressed disgust and Jared’s gleeful cackling rang out into the yard.



It was as if some switch had been flipped, bringing with it bad luck in doses that were small but had the potential for even bigger, far-reaching consequences.

For example, a couple of days later when Jared was on his cell phone to his mother as he brushed his teeth in the bathroom, telling her about Harley and his ring-eating escapades, Jared went to move his phone to cradle between his ear and collarbone. While he really should have seen it coming, he switched hands, lost his grip on his phone and reached out to catch it, missed...and it fell hard against the inside porcelain of the toilet, it’s back coming open and the battery popping out and all of it landing with a big splosh.

Jared had grimaced down through the settling water at his Blackberry sitting at the bottom of the toilet bowl, “Uh...Momma?”

This, in turn, led to two separate incidents.

One, when Jensen saw Jared carrying his dead, dripping cell phone and howled with laughter to the point where he’d forgotten to watch where he was going and ended up walking into the living room archway, hitting his forehead against the wooden framing which resulted in a small but noticeable bump.

And two, when the boys headed out of the house to go shopping for a new cell phone.

Jensen had punched in the alarm code for the house and locked the front door before pulling it closed behind him. There, he jumped down the front steps, tugging at the belt holding his jeans up and wandered over to the Land Rover, holding his hand out to Jared for the keys.

When Jared stared back at him blankly, Jensen snapped his fingers, “Keys?”

Jared frowned, “I thought you had them.”

“But you always grab the keys.”

“Because we usually take my car,” Jared replied, glancing over at the house.

Jensen threw out a hand to stop him just as he tugged uselessly on the passenger side door of the Land Rover. Jensen threw his head back and sighed wearily at the sky while Jared flinched as the Rover’s alarm began bleeping loudly.

“So I guess we’re locked out of the house and the car?” Jared yelled over the noise, wincing and covering his ears.


When the alarm had switched off after it’s programmed 2 minutes, the boys wandered around the property with the hopes of finding an open window. As a general rule, they always made sure the windows were locked on the lower level whenever they left the house, so it was with great apprehension that saw them find one of their bedroom windows barely cracked open...on the second story.

“How are we supposed to get up there?” Jensen asked.

Jared slid off his jacket and handed it to Jensen before he reached out and gripped the trunk of the tree that was only a few metres down from the open window. “The tree.”

Jensen shook his head, grabbing one of Jared’s biceps and stilling him. “Whoa, no, no. I can see this going all kinds of wrong.”

“I can do it,” Jared replied, pointing up and mapping out his course of action. “Climb the tree, land on the roof and swing down into the bedroom window. Easy.”

Jensen nodded, unconvinced, “Easy? I won’t be able to catch you from a second-storey drop if you fall, Jared.”

Jared hauled himself up, crowding his body close against the tree as he climbed. Jensen watched as he went higher and higher, a hand hovering worriedly near his mouth. One of Jared’s Converse sneakers slipped against the bark of the tree and Jensen gasped.

“I’m fine,” Jared called down to him as he swung from arm to arm along a branch and dropped down onto the roof. He carefully stepped towards the edge, “Move closer to the window so I know where it is.”

Jensen was quiet and focussed as he moved to stand directly below the window, because if Jared got hurt, Jensen’s ass was on the line in one way or another. He would have to answer to Jared’s family, his family, Eric and the producers or, worst of all, he’d have to answer to himself. Jared getting injured simply wasn’t an option, and with the way their luck or stupidity quota for the week had been tallying up so far, he didn’t like the odds.

Jared stepped over the few metres before he turned his back and braced his hands down along the metal guttering of the roof, using his upper body strength to slowly lower his legs over the edge. He blindly moved his feet out to rest against the side of the house and when he hung completely from the gutter, he adjusted his grasp before carefully letting a hand fall to open the window.

Jensen stood below him, watching the muscles in Jared’s arms and belly tense from where he could see up Jared’s shirt and holding his breath as Jared worked in quick bursts at getting the window pulled open before latching back onto the guttering. When the window was open enough for Jared to get his sneakers hooked around it, he used his feet to pull it wide the rest of the way before placing them on the inside window sill. He dropped a hand to grip the window frame and with one last swing----

“Wait.”

Jared frowned, adrenaline pumping, “Wait?!”

“The house alarm,” Jensen called up to him, “You’ll have thirty seconds to disable it before it goes off.”

Jared shook his head, exhaling heavily to himself and thinking the whole situation was like something out of a Mission Impossible movie. With that, Jared leaned his weight on his feet and locked his hands along the window frame before dropping easily into the room.

Jensen quickly made his way around to the front of the house, hearing Jared run through the bedroom to the upstairs hall before leaping down the stairs and skidding to a halt by the front door. Jensen could hear Jared panting from the other side as he quickly pressed in the alarm code and unlocked the door, pulling it open.

Jared grinned. “Better than Tom Cruise.”

Jensen was too relieved to see Jared on stable ground to really argue. “Whatever you say, Sasquatch.”



They successfully made their way to and from the cellular store; Jared choosing to purchase an iPhone like the one Jensen owned; and Jared sat back in the passenger seat, feet up on the dash as he read through his user manual, asking Jensen the occasional question about his new phone’s functions when he couldn’t be bothered reading through a certain page.

Jensen was on auto-pilot as he drove, his eyes spending more time looking into Jared’s as they talked than actually being on the road, so it was Jared who threw out a hand to grab Jensen’s wrist as they turned into their drive way - the front of Jensen’s Land Rover connecting with the closed gate before Jensen could slam on the brakes. Thankfully, it wasn’t enough to cause any damage to the gate and nothing more than a barely noticeable scuff to the front roll bar, but they turned to look at each other, stunned and disbelieving all the same.

“Let's just not leave the house for the rest of the week,” Jared suggested, raising his eyebrows at Jensen. “Okay?”



The next day came, and Jared woke up feeling tension throughout his shoulders, biceps and along his sides, probably due to having not stretched before his big heroic tree climb the day before. He wasn’t the type to whine, not when something was really bothering him - as illogical as it seemed - so he suffered in silence, having a hot shower and popping a couple of Tylenol in the hopes that they would relax his muscles, and kept moving around because the longer he remained still, the more his muscles seized up.

Jared and Jensen lounged outside on the deck, after a day of buying and planting flowers in the plant boxes, nursing glasses of red wine; Jared lying out on one of the sunning chairs, playing games on his new phone, shaded by the disappearing sun while Jensen sat at the table with his feet up, flicking through a home renovation magazine.

When Jared paused in his gaming to rotate his arms and stretch his torso, Jensen sighed, dropping the magazine onto the table as he got up out of his seat, “I knew you’d pulled something.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been doing that all day,” Jensen said, pointing at Jared as he rubbed at one of his biceps, “Where’s it hurt?”

“Sides and shoulders mostly,” Jared answered with a sigh, “Arms are a bit sore too.”

“On your stomach,” Jensen ordered with a twirl of his finger, adjusting the sunning chair until it was flat and Jared obliged, rolling over onto his belly and folding his arms beneath his chin. Jensen sat down on the edge of the chair and got to work rubbing Jared’s shoulders through his t-shirt, “Only superheroes don’t have to stretch, dude.”

Jared closed his eyes and winced as Jensen started moving his thumbs in circles, digging them into the bands of muscle connecting his shoulders to his neck, grunting at the deep throb. Jensen kneaded them with his thumbs until the pain numbed, then clasped his hands together and moved the pads of his fingers in circulations along his spine.

Jensen smiled when Jared groaned pleasantly, touching his hands over the softening planes of Jared’s body before he moved them in firm strokes over the rounded muscle at the tops of Jared’s arms. He pressed his fingers along the inside of Jared’s biceps and rubbed until Jared told him he couldn’t feel the soreness anymore.

“You would have been a great Physical Therapist,” Jared mumbled into his forearm.

Jensen smirked, gently massaging up the back of Jared’s neck to his hair line, causing a shiver to ripple through his shoulders and his mouth to fall open on a moan, “Yeah, and we never would have met.”

Jared laughed, “Why the hell did you choose acting then? You could have been rid of me all this time.”

Jensen chuckled and shook his head adoringly. “What can I say, Sasquatch? Your idiocy makes me look good.”

Jared snorted, turning over on Jensen’s command and stretching his arms above his head over the end of the sunning chair, his white t-shirt stark against his bronzed skin. Jensen gently prodded along Jared’s abdominal muscles, glancing up at Jared’s face for a sign as to where it was sore.

When his fingers pressed into his obliques, Jared winced. “There.”

Jensen began massaging in circles, moving higher along Jared’s sides and repeating the process, his eyes following his hands. Jared observed Jensen as he worked, something very peaceful yet very intimate about the way Jensen seemed to take care of him, fixing his hurts and paying attention to the way Jared’s muscles clenched when he rubbed a particularly tender spot and adjusting the pressure of his hands to lessen the pain.

Jared stared openly at him, feeling Jensen’s fingers move lower and lower as he searched for soreness to rub away and it was as Jensen was doing this over the muscle above Jared’s hip bones where warmth began pooling in the bottom of Jared’s gut - his body suddenly taking a very serious interest as to where Jensen’s hands were rubbing. The muscles in his belly tightened beneath Jensen’s touch and Jensen glanced up worriedly at Jared’s face.

“Sorry. Sore?”

Jared’s cheeks flushed and he raised himself up on his elbows, reaching out to still Jensen’s hands, “No, uh...just sensitive, is all.”

Jensen quirked an eyebrow and smirked. “Ticklish?”

Jared huffed nervously, flashing Jensen a smile. “Not exactly. It’s just one of my more...erogenous zones.”

Jensen glanced down at Jared’s stomach, then back up to stare him in the face before dropping his eyes once again, as if Jared’s belly was something he’d never seen before, “Really?”

Jared pushed Jensen’s hands away and Jensen put them back, flattening them over Jared’s tummy. “So, if I do this...this turns you on?”

Jared rolled his eyes, sitting up and shoving him off, “No.”

“No,” Jensen protested gently, genuine and un-mockingly. “It’s...something a husband should know, I guess.”

“Is...” Jared sat still, tensed with his hands braced on the chair behind him, attempting to ask without actually saying the words. “Is that something we...something we would need to know?”

They gazed at each other, searching the other’s eyes for something despite not knowing exactly what they were looking for, and Jensen watched Jared’s face for an objection as he lifted Jared’s t-shirt and slowly slid his hands underneath to touch the hot taut skin of his abdomen. Jared quietly gasped at the contact, staring back at him and swallowing thickly as his belly warmed all the way through, the heat travelling lower to Jared’s groin.

Jensen watched, seemingly fascinated at the gentle but steady rise and fall of Jared’s chest and the feel of his stomach gently expanding and hardening beneath his hands as he breathed, and he moved his hands lower until his palms were pressed along the skin just above the waistband of Jared’s boxer briefs.

The centre of Jared’s brow line dimpled with a concentrated frown and his eyes closed, trying to remain as still as possible even as a nervous tremor quaked through his shoulders and arms-----

“Hello!”

Jensen and Jared leapt apart, nearly falling off the opposite ends of the chair at the sudden interruption.

Jared panted, eyes wide. “What the f---”

“You boys back here? We’ve been knocking on the front door for the last five minutes!”

Jared gaped at Jensen. “Is that---”

“Chris?” Jensen called out confusedly.

“Hey! They’re back here!”

Jensen staggered to his feet, his knees wobbly as 5'10" of muscle vaulted smoothly over the back gate and hooted like a cowboy, grinning madly at Jensen and jogging up the deck steps.

“Sup son!” Christian exclaimed, wrapping his arms tight around him.

Jensen dazedly patted him on the back before pushing him away. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Christian grinned. “Heard you cats got some time off. Thought we’d visit.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Jared asked, his voice half way between incredulous and irritated as he remained in a tense straddle on the chair, still catching his breath.

“Oh, hey, Jared!” Christian hollered, stepping forward to slap him on the shoulder.

“Who’s ‘we’?” Jensen repeated, and he got his answer in the form of Steve, Jason and Dylan wandering in through the gate.

Steve wore his usual dress shirt and jeans combination with his cowboy boots and sunglasses; the redness in his face telling Jensen he’d been drinking while Jason was all casual in a t-shirt, long shorts and flip flops with a baseball cap over his eyes. Dylan looked as lovely as he remembered in an emerald green sun-dress and brown sandals; her crystal necklaces and tousled blonde hair hanging long.

“Hey, boys,” Jason greeted with a smile.

“Sorry for barging in on you like this,” Dylan said, with the same sweet smile and apologies clear on her face, “I couldn’t rein them in.”

Christian hit a fist to his gut and let rip a loud, long burp, just as Jensen narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you drunk?”

Steve snorted. “How do you think we got here?”

“That’s something I’d very much like to find out,” Jensen replied, glancing disbelievingly between them all.

Jason pulled a bottle of tequila from his bag and jiggled it in front of Jensen’s eyes. “What do you say we explain it over this?”

Jensen glanced over his shoulder at Jared, who still hadn’t moved, and snagged the bottle from Jason. “Gonna have to if I’m to deal with you lot.”



As it turned out, the idea to fly to Vancouver was born from a bender with Jack Daniels the night before. Steve laughed all the way through Christian’s explanation until it looked as though his face was suffocating, sucking down beer after beer; Jason was slightly more laid back with the alcohol consumption but still managed to write himself off and Christian enthusiastically caught Jensen up with the happenings of late - how his gig season at Dante’s was coming to an end and how he and Dylan were “officially” in a relationship.

Jensen had to smile when Christian glanced over at her adoringly as she and Jared sat a few metres away - hitting it off, like Jensen knew they would - and sighed, resting his chin in his hand.

Jensen whistled low, “Dude, you got it bad.”

“I know, right?” Christian breathed with a dreamy shake of his head, “And I don’t even care. I am so gone for her. I’d...I’d fuckin’ shout it from the rooftops if there was one high enough to tell the entire world.”

Steve swallowed his mouthful of beer, his voice raspy, “Whoa, that was real deep, man.”

“So,” Jason spoke, slapping his hand down on the table. “Think you can accommodate us for the night?”

Jensen nodded. “You guys can have the guest rooms. We have a spare mattress in Jared’s old room so you two,” he gestured between Steve and Jason, “don’t have to share a bed.”

“Jared’s old room?” Christian asked, like he’d found a topic of conversation finally worth listening to. Jensen wasn’t sure what to make of the suspicious and curious glint in his eyes. “Where’s he sleep nowadays?”

Jensen glanced down at his beer bottle, feeling three pairs of eyes on him and hearing Dylan and Jared chatting together in the distance. “Upstairs. With me.”

Christian seemed to lurch forward in his seat, like a burp was trying to fight its way out from inside his chest, “Are you sleeping with him?”

The whole situation and the feeling that he was being judged made him itch nervously. He forgot sometimes, despite how seamless and normal their relationship felt to he and Jared, that other people wouldn’t necessarily feel the same. That they might even find it weird.

“We sleep together in the same bed but we’re not...we...that’s not a part of our relationship.”

Christian looked at him sideways. “Then who are you sleeping with?”

Jensen frowned confusedly. “No one. Why?”

“This is the most relaxed I think I’ve ever seen you. You must be gettin’ some from somewhere,” Christian replied. “I know you. When Dani didn’t put out for a week, you got angsty.”

“I’m honestly not getting anything from anywhere,” Jensen said, “and did you even think that maybe I’m relaxed because I’m happy?”

Steve put his beer down on the table and squinted at him. “So you’re really not having sex?”

Jason winced sympathetically at Jensen, as if he were a neutered cat. “Dude.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “I’m not talking about this with you guys.”

“If you want my advice, Jense---”

Jensen sighed, “Really don’t, Steve---”

“Let me finish, man, and this ain’ a dig at what you’ve got goin’ on with Jayman either, because I think I speak for everyone here when I say it’s good you guys are happy,” Steve said, dropping the finger he had pointed at him and lifting his beer bottle to his mouth, “No matter how gay the sex, it’s still sex...and it’s better than gettin’ no sex at all. Know what I’m sayin’?”

Jensen shook his head disbelievingly. “Did you seriously just suggest that I have sex with my husband?”

Steve shrugged, like it was the simplest of answers. “Who else you gonna have it with?”

Jensen stared thoughtfully at the tequila shot Jason poured him before he lifted it to his lips, caught Steve’s eye as he nodded privately to him and swallowed it down, glancing over his shoulder at Jared before pushing his glass forward for another.




More than a few hours later, Jensen was buzzing on alcohol and the opportunity to socialise as he, Jason and Steve played Texas Hold ‘Em while the others watched. Jared sat dutifully beside his husband, occasionally tapping a card in his hand and advising Jensen on how to play them with a secret flick of his eye brows or a scratch of his nose. Dylan sat on Christian’s lap with her arms loose around his neck and her fingers in his hair, while he drank contentedly from his beer bottle with one hand and stroked a thumb over the tanned skin of Dylan’s arm with the other.

At one point through the game, Jensen leaned back in his seat and draped his legs over Jared’s knees, puffing on a cigarette Steve had lit for him while Dylan returned from inside the house, wearing one of Christian’s black woollen jerseys to keep warm against the cooling evening temperatures. She sat in Christian’s lap again, pulling her feet up to rest on the chair and tucking her knees to her chest while Christian tugged the jersey down over her legs, wrapping his arms around her.

“Better?” he mumbled against her neck and she nodded, smiling down at him and pressing closer against him. Jared and Jensen shared a pleased look, having both seen the exchange.

When Jensen lost the next round and a grand total of five hundred dollars, Jared shook his head. “You really shouldn’t have played with all the bad luck we’ve been having lately.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Jensen replied sulkily as he threw his cards down.




At the end of the night, after Jason and Steve had gone to bed; Christian and Dylan having done so a couple of hours earlier; Jensen dumped the last of the beer bottles in the recyclables bin outside, locking up the house as he went while Jared washed glasses in the kitchen sink.

Once the rest of the house lights had been turned off, Jensen wandered into the kitchen and over to Jared, coming up behind him and dropping his forehead to press between Jared’s shoulder blades. “Mmmuggh.”

Jared smiled as he scrubbed out a wine glass. “Sorry, what?”

“I said, ‘mmmuggh’,” Jensen repeated, lifting his head and moving to lean back against the bench beside him.

Jared carefully placed the soapy wine glass into the wooden dish rack sitting on the bench and glanced over at him, seeing his heavy eyes and the sway in his shoulders even as he tried to stand still, “You’re drunk.”

Jensen nodded. “Little bit, yeah. Tired too.”

“You gonna molest me again?”

Jensen snorted. “Not in this state. Did wanna talk to you though.”

Jared pulled the plug in the sink and wiped his hands dry on the dishcloth. “What about?”

“What happened before,” Jensen said, moving to press against Jared’s side, “Before our house was infiltrated by crazy drunk people.”

Jared nodded, thinking back to the rubdown Jensen had given him earlier that evening and the purposeful touching of areas on Jared’s body that he had specifically declared sensitive. “Oh, right. What about it?”

“We had a moment there,” Jensen said, looking up at him.

Jared nodded. “Yeah, we kinda did.”

“Well...I’ve been thinking----”

“Uh oh. That’s never good.”

Jensen grinned. “For you, maybe, but I was thinking that...if...well...uh----”

Jared smiled patiently, letting him know that he'd still be there when he was ready.

Jensen stared him in the eye. “I was thinking that if I can...y’know...get you off...would that be a bad thing?”

The way Jensen’s tongue hit the back of his teeth as he spoke made his pronunciation of the word ‘thing’ sound more like ‘ding’ to Jared, something he thought about before slowly allowing himself to register what Jensen had actually said.

“When is getting off ever a bad thing?”

“That’s exactly my point. What if we did that?” Jensen asked, “Would that be...y’know, doable? Do you think?”

Jared smiled, leaning further forward against the bench and pressing his shoulder to Jensen’s. “First off, this is a conversation for a more appropriate time----”

“What’s so inappropriate about it?”

“We are not discussing this while you’re drunk and while we’re tired and certainly not while Christian Fucking Kane is under our roof,” Jared said with a raise of his eyebrows.

Jensen deadpanned, “Okay, point made.”

“Secondly, how do you expect us to be able to...do stuff if we haven’t even kissed yet?”

Jensen gaped. “We have so kissed!”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Drunken face sucking does not count. Neither does shoving your tongue down my throat during spin the bottle at the wrap party last year.”

“I did not!”

“Shannon got it on camera.”

“That bitch.”

Jared shook it off. “Anyway, point is, if we’re going to have a physical part of our relationship, it’s not going to consist of drunken hook ups that we have no recollection of. That’s just begging for problems.”

Jensen looked thoughtful, almost upset at the lack of discussion and Jared leaned in, kissing the space where his eyebrows were currently knitted together. “By all means, bring it up again and we’ll talk it over, but right now I want to go to bed. Okay?”

Jensen nodded, his green eyes bright in the kitchen fluorescence. “Yeah.”




The following day, Jared let Jensen sleep in as long as he wanted, leaving a note when he took Christian, Dylan, Jason and Steve to the airport in Jensen’s Land Rover. Jared hugged them all goodbye, promising to pass on parting messages to Jensen and saw them off in all of their hung-over glory before he went home.

Jensen was still asleep when he got back and he tossed his note into the trash and went about making coffee for himself as well as Jensen, knowing he was due to wake up soon. He made his way up the stairs carrying their steaming mugs and placed them down on his bedside table, going to the wall cabinet in the ensuite bathroom to grab Tylenol for Jensen before he slid onto his side of the bed and sat up against the headboard, bringing his coffee to his lips and blowing along the surface while he watched TV.

As expected, Jensen woke up around twenty minutes later, groggy and peevish as he rolled over and groaned into Jared’s thigh, breathing in the clean cucumber smell of Jared’s shower gel while it still lingered on him.

“Afternoon, sleeping beauty,” Jared said, smiling down at him as he ran a hand through Jensen’s matted hair, “Do you have any idea how loudly you snore when you’re drunk?”

Jensen peaked an eye open to look at Jared’s mug. “Coffee.”

“Right here,” Jared replied, waiting for Jensen to sit up before handing over his coffee. Jensen sighed, swallowing a few mouthfuls greedily and leaned against Jared’s side. “I’ve got Tylenol too.”

Jensen nodded, closing his eyes and resting his cheek on Jared’s shoulder, and Jared sighed happily, “The others are gone; they had fun, they say bye; and you are going to have a shower and brush your teeth. Know why?”

Jensen shook his head. “Mmm mmm.”

Jared grinned, “You and I are going to have our first real kiss today.”

Jensen’s head leapt up from Jared’s shoulder and he squinted blearily at his husband, “What?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about what you said last night and while we’ll discuss it later, I think kissing is a smart way to start.”

Jensen grimaced, his voice still raspy and deep with sleep, “Are you trying to be funny?”

“Not at all,” Jared replied, showing him just how serious he was with a straight face before he slapped a hand down on Jensen’s knee. “So, hurry up and get to it.”

Jensen blinked; stunned; at Jared as he went back to watching television and drinking his coffee.




Jensen took his time in the shower, going about his usual routine and allowing himself to wake up gently as he washed. When that was done, Jensen shaved and moisturised, figuring soft and smooth was a good way to go about having a first real kiss with your husband. He also took his time flossing and brushing his teeth, gargling mouthwash simply for the extra clean feeling.

Coming out of the bathroom to an empty bedroom and slowly getting dressed; whether he was being meticulous or stalling for time, he didn’t know; Jensen eventually went downstairs to find Jared, who was leaning against the kitchen island bench reading a car magazine, chewing a wad of mint gum so big, Jensen could smell it from the doorway.

Jensen flopped his hands at his sides and Jared glanced up. “Reporting for duty, sir.”

Jared laughed before reaching out and pulling him into the room by the hands. “Where do you want to do this? I figured the bedroom seemed like a bad idea----“

Jensen nodded. “No pressure or anything.”

Jared agreed, leaning over to spit his gum into the trash can. “Exactly. So, couch?”

Jensen shook his head as Jared led him into the living room. “Can you say awkward teenagers?”

Jared smiled, “Okay, where then? The deck? It’s got flowers?”

Jensen looked at him like he was an idiot. “Shall we wait until the stars are sparkling in the sky, Romeo?”

Jared shoved him. “You decide then. I’m outta ideas.”

Jensen glanced around the living room, flopping his hands again. “Here’s fine.”

“The living room,” Jared deadpanned, “You want our first real kiss to be in the living room.”

Jensen pointed a finger at him, “Technically, our first real kiss was a drunken roughhousing up against our bedroom door, whether you like to admit it or not. Our second kiss was in the hallway of a hospital. And you’re saying the living room isn’t good enough?”

Jared looked around them and Jensen threw up his hands. “We’re in the heart of our home. What better place is there?”

After a moments contemplation, Jared smiled, “You sure know how to win an argument. And you call me Romeo. You’re like a poet----”

“Shut it,” Jensen waved him off, “So, how are we doing this?”

Jared raised Jensen’s hands to his shoulders and dutifully placed his on Jensen’s hips, “I don’t know, just kiss me.”

“No, you kiss me.”

“Dude, seriously?”

“You started the whole damn thing!”

“Technically, you did.”

“Nooo, I brought up the sex thing, you brought up the kissing,” Jensen said, “So, hurry up and kiss me, dammit. You made me get out of bed for this shit.”

Jared sighed, “Okay, face touching or no?”

Jensen rolled his eyes, tipping his head back wearily, “Just do whatever.”

“Okay,” Jared replied before he began leaning in slowly. His nose brushed Jensen’s as he tilted his head, and when Jared’s face was right there in front of Jensen’s, and their lips still hadn’t touched, Jensen burst, causing Jared to jump away with a fright.

“Just do it, Jared!”

“Okay, okay,” Jared replied placatingly, sighing heavily and shaking whatever hesitation he had from his shoulders before he moved in again.

He went in at the same tilted angle as before, and Jensen automatically went the other way like a reflex, like he’d done so many times during their scenes together - if Jared was leaning too much into the camera shot or upstaging him, Jensen would tilt his head and lean in the other direction and Jared would catch the hint and correct himself on his mark. They worked together like negative magnets, hovering close and mirroring each other’s every move, so if Jensen was the one going off his mark, Jared would right him with his own movement. After so many years working together now, it came to them naturally.

Jensen was used to having Jared all up in his personal space but having Jared come directly at him, knowing it was for a kiss, made his hands tingle with the need to push him out, the way he normally did whenever Jared decided to jump him for a play fight or something of the like. His reflex reaction was programmed to strike out at anything oncoming, whether it was in jest or not, so it took a great deal for him to keep his hands at his sides. Jared seemed to realise this, and gently curled his hands around Jensen’s elbows before pulling him in.

Jensen closed his eyes and the breath in his lungs stilled when Jared’s soft lips pressed against his, firm and sure. Jared breathed in and out through his nose, the warm air puffing calmly against Jensen’s cheek twice before their mouths came apart with a quiet snick.

Jensen opened his eyes to glance up at Jared, and was nearly taken aback at how relaxed and open his face was, seemingly smoother and younger, peering innocently down at Jensen and waiting patiently for a response. The green in Jared’s eyes was almost glittering at him.

They smiled at each other and Jensen leaned up, his eyes flitting to meet Jared’s as his lips moved in to connect again. Jared shifted on his feet and Jensen’s hands reached out to grip his biceps, anchoring him with his touch and his gaze. Jensen experimentally nibbled-kissed at Jared’s bottom lip and Jared stared back at him, joining in and doing it right back.

Despite the measure of caution they were taking, their kisses became much more relaxed. Jared’s hands fell away from Jensen’s elbows and he placed them warm and certain on Jensen’s flanks, and Jensen’s moved to rest on Jared’s chest, weighted there like a comfort. The kiss wasn’t mind-blowing, nor did it make them want to burst a Taylor Swift song by any stretch of the imagination, but it felt familiar and safe, like sharing a hug with a favourite family member, which made it enjoyable enough.

It also felt odd. Kissing Jared felt odd, because they’d known each other for nearly five years and in that time they had lived through a lot together, told each other anything and everything - and yet this was a shared experience they’d never had before. What was odd about it was the fact that it felt like this was something they should have done by now.

Their gently parting lips gave way to pleased smiles, and Jared raised his eyebrows at Jensen.

“So?”

Jensen nodded, “Doable. Though I’m kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Why?”

“With the bad luck we’ve been having,” Jensen said, “who knows what could happen now.”

“You’re such a glass half empty,” Jared sighed, “I was under the impression that maybe all of that bad luck happened for a reason, y’know, to get us to this point.”

Jensen quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah, no. Swine flu. Bet we just contracted swine flu.”

Jared laughed, shaking his head and tutting at him, “Power of positive thinking, Jense. You should try it sometime.”

“What can I say? I’m a realist.”

Jared leaned in and touched his forehead to Jensen’s, “Guess I’m gonna have to be optimistic enough for the both of us.”

Jensen smiled, “Uh oh. Look out world. Jared’s got his happy pants on.”

Jared grinned back, “If I’ve got my happy pants on, it’s only ‘cause you put ‘em on me.”

Jensen blushed and Jared roared with laughter, throwing his head back gleefully.

Jensen thumped him on the chest with a fist, embarrassed but adoring, “You’re such a dick.”

“Yeah, yeah, but I’m your dick----”

“God, stop!” Jensen whined, even as Jared laughingly pulled him into a hug.



Part Nine: The Kissing Quota