This were sent to me in an email and they made me laugh.

Hence, I post them here for your amusement and/or disdain ;)




THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH
THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE ....BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

(1) Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

(2) I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

(3) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

(4) Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

(5) Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

(6) I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

(7) I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

(8) My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

(9) I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

(10) My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

(11) My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

(12) What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.


A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"

"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"

He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."

The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smart butt when he's drunk and stoned."

The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"




ENJOY