The Beijing Olympic Games will be over very soon. Long before the opening ceremony, we knew this was going to be a different Olympics. We were supposed to come together, like a giant Woodstock, (not Woodstock II, The Wrath of the Rage Against the Machine) except without the THC. However, the reality was that for a couple of weeks the eyes of many people would be focused on one place, making it primetime or the right time to convey messages and impart agendas. Tibet, human rights, communism, Coke Cola, canine delicacies, doping, sportsmanship, air quality, thousands of condoms and a whole host of other things were the center of our attention for these past two weeks. The actual event itself was amazing. China dealt with a devastating earthquake, ordered restaurants to stop serving dog for the duration of the games, shot rockets into clouds to temper the weather conditions and ran the biggest single event in this world with the precision of a Bruce Lee two inch punch. During the event, “enemies” hugged each other, world records were broken, athletes were honored and disgraced, marathoners ran past the same square that a while ago, some man with his groceries under his arm stood in front of a tank, and tall women emptied sand from their bikini bottoms.Download volleyball.jpg
Once the closing ceremonies conclude, “normal” way of life will resume again. The Dali Lama will continue to go from country to country to garner more support than Richard Gere or Sharon Stone can muster for his cause. Wars will continue to be waged and innocent men, women and children will continue to die. Oil, air, water, sex, drugs and rock and roll (koochi koo) will continue to worry people. And dogs will be eaten again. So until we get together again for another feel good session, which we will need desperately, in London in 2012, I will have some mustard on my dog and leave you with the following tidbit:
Freehold, Iowa - Behind the locked doors of America's Christian bedrooms, young boys are getting swept up in a disturbing trend. I had a frantic mother come to me the other day in tears, said Pastor Deacon Fred. She told me that her son, Timothy, invited several of his friends over into his bedroom for private prayer and devotional scripture studies. What she told me next is enough to send shivers down the spine of every God fearing mother and father in our Christian Nation! Satan is in our midst, my friends! The Devil is using Olympics volleyball to lure young men into shedding their clothes, flopping around and falling off off their beds with him into the pit of iniquity. Lucifer is turning innocent afternoon gatherings of imprecatory prayer into frenzied young Masturbating Baptist Boys' Clubs!
When Mrs. Huxton put her ear to the door, she told Pastor that she heard not the sacred sounds of scripture readings accompanied by soft sweet whispers to our Heavenly Father, but rather a noisy television set spewing Chinese gibberish, tuned to an Olympic volleyball match. When she listened closer, she heard the slapping sounds of flesh-on-flesh accompanied by the grunts and moans of little Christian boys!
When she opened the door, Mrs. Huxton reported seeing a pile naked young men, including her own son. Timothy's head was peeking out from under the pimpled rump of his prayer leader, she said. They were all on the bedroom floor covered in sweat, their stiffened purple tallywhackers pointing in every direction. Before Mrs. Huxton fainted in the doorway, she noticed the Tivo paused on the scantily clad knee of an Olympic volleyball player from the corner of her tearing eye.
I have no doubt in my mind that all across America, Christian families are coming across scenes exactly like this! Pastor Deacon Fred told parishioners on Sunday morning. We won't stand for it in this church! From this day forward any member of our congregation caught watching Olympic volleyball or even mentioning Olympic volleyball will be asked to pack their belongings and find a place to live where your filthy, sinful, disgusting, depraved masturbation lifestyle is accepted! Reported in the Landover Baptist Church (not sure how legitimate this is, but like Dr.

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