I went to Hell with Julie last night.  I showed up at her place around 9:30pm.  Apparently a bolt of lightning hit her back yard, right where the well is and had turned all the water into grossness.  To top it off it damaged her father's EXPENSIVELY AWESOME stereo equipment.  The computer is basically dead forever and everything is kind of a mess.  Thank goodness for insurance right?  Though, I am not sure how you explain that a bolt of lightning hit your yard, isn't that just about the rarest thing to happen?  It just sucks because above their garage is this AMAZING home theater.  When I say AMAZING I really mean it.  It has a gianormous tv.... Actually it might be one of those screen thingies, because I vaguely remember a projector above the sofa.  Then there is a bar with a mini fridge and her computer and a futon.  But the surround sound is wonderful... well, WAS wonderful.  We used to have sleep overs in there all the time.  It's sound proof so we could be as noisy as we wanted and not get in trouble.  I miss sleep overs.....

Anyways, so I got to her house and she was just getting out of the shower because the water just started working again.  It then took another hour of her rummaging through clothes and putting on makeup before we could go.  It is really amusing how different we are in style.  You can tell it when we go dancing.  I'm in jeans, my black sparkling 1 inch pumps, and my hot pink and flourescent tiger shirt.  My hair is "emo" because it has a side part that goes into my eyes.  My makeup is gold and earth colors, except for my lips which are fuchsia gloss mixed with gold gloss.  I have a rune necklace and some handmade bracelets on.  I put on rings to feel special, so garnet is shining out from almost every finger except for my claddagh ring and my starry ring.  I have Japanese Lucky Cats hanging from my ears.... Julie on the other hand is wearing a coctail-type dress... Completely satin and strapless that goes down to her thighs, it's indigo with a blingy broach.  Her ears are bedazzled by rhinestone hoops.  Her shoes are black 3 inch heels, her neck is bare, her hair is straightened down, her eyes are silver shadowed.... 

Julie is a glamorous mermaid and I'm a punky pixie.  Somehow we mix well.  Like cream and coffee.  

So we head up to Hell.  I bought a pack of cloves on the way... I think these ones are deterring me from ever smoking cloves again.  I wanted to try the vanilla flavored ones.... They taste like toxic BLAH-ness....  My blacks usually last about 2 months, since I only smoke when I'm dancing or with the Cat.  These will probably last longer, or I'll throw them at my friends to smoke.  I should stop anyways.  I just like having something to do when we go out of the club for a break.  But smoking is bad and I really don't want to get addicted to these things.  So far it's under control but I'm not sure how long that will last.  And if my parents ever find out, they'll kill me.

We get to to Hell around 11pm.  Julie's friend Courtney is waiting for us.  We start dancing on the pedestal and Courtney has Julie scan the boys for someone hot to dance with.  You see, the whole purpose we are here dancing is apparently to make Julie's "ex" (not really an ex since they weren't REALLY dating) jealous.  Her ex, Derek, djs there.  So, she finds this gorgeous boy.  His name is Corey.  He has this sweet labret piercing.  It is like a hook that comes out on both sides of the labret.  Julie said he had nose piercings too, but I wasn't up that close to him.  

While Julie and Corey are dancing, Courtney runs off to dance and drink.  So, here I am dancing by myself, which is fine.... I guess.  I was slightly peeved because I went there to dance with Julie not to watch her dance with boys.  Maybe I should have invited some other girls so I would at least feel loved and noticed.  I should have had some alcohol in me to make me less aware of how alone I was, but I promised my parents I wouldn't get drunk that night.  I keep my promises.  

At one point a boy comes up behind me and starts dancing... NOTE TO ALL BOYS:  LET THE GIRLS LEAD!!!!  My fucking Lord!  The boys that danced up on me SUCKED!!  I could tell they wanted to lead and they just weren't good at it.  The music was fast and pumping and they wanted to do a slow grind.  The boy that was dancing with me kept a lock on my hands and was holding them in the air and it pissed me off.  I was SO freaking bored with that move... He only had one move!  And when I tried to throw in my own spice, he wouldn't take it!  Whenever I tried to move off he pulled me back in with his lock on my hip.  I wanted to turn around and smack him, but I'm a better person than that.  So I endured the horrid dance until the song switched over.

I've explained it before, and I'll explain it again.  I'm a whirlwind on the dance floor.  I'm this untameable mustang and I DO NOT wish for some boy to try and tame me on the dance floor.  Not even tame me, just lock me up with his hand like a tiger in a cage of metal.  NOT FUN!  For once, I would like to meet a guy that will let me lead on the dance floor.  Or better yet!  It would be nice to meet a man that can dance, a man that is just as untameable as myself.  I don't want to grind slowly with you!  I don't want to be dry humped.... much.  I just want to move my feet and my hips.  I want to be the secret exotic snakecharm dancer that I am and NOT get man handled.... Arrrggghhhhhh!!!

So, we left the club at closing, around 1am.  Julie was stuck talking with Derek about stupid shit.  We got in her car finally and were driving on the highway, but he was texting her the whole time.  He was talking about how he likes her but he doesn't want to get hurt again... blah blah blah... Why do guys ALWAYS use that line to get out of commitment?  That is just about the most stereotypical line a guy can use.  Like we girls haven't been hurt?!  Plus, who the fuck cares if some girl hurt you a year ago, how does that relate to us?!  Why would you automatically judge us as if we will hurt you too?  You can't live your life in fear.  If you do, you'll never see love as it passes you by.  It is like that verse from the RENT song "Another Day":  There's Only Us, There's Only This, Forget regret, Or life is yours to miss, No other road, No other way, No day but today.

Anyways, so we get home and I leave Julie to her fate of deciding whether to give up on Derek and go to bed or to drive to Cranston at 2am to see him, talk about things, and probably have sex....  I hope she chose to sleep instead of going to see him.  That boy seems selfish, he's a jerk, and he is not that attractive.  I mean, he gave her the ultimatum of either talking with him/seeing him that night to work things out or not doing so and in which case he would be done with her by the morning.  Why does Julie always fall for the assholes?  

So, I get home at about 2:30am, take off all my make up and crawl into bed.  I then wake up at 12:15 today.  I slept for 9 hours and 45 minutes!  The sleep was nice except for the bad dream I had. 

Now, I'm sure this dream would not be scary to anyone but myself.  I had a dream that I was hanging out with some friends.  I won't be listing names.  One of my friends then comes up to me and tells me straight up, that I'm barren.  I laugh it off like they're joking, but they are completely serious.  Then they show me the doctor's paper work.  It killed me inside.  You know how you can feel things in your dreams, like your body can feel the physical pain your going through subconsciously?  I felt my whole body collapse in on itself.  I fell to the ground in my dream and made the most primal, guttural sound.  It was like the sound of a wolf howling in anguish, only slightly more human.  I've never felt so much despair in a dream.  You see, the one thing I know that I want in life are children.  How pathetic is that?  I'm not sure why... I just want a child someday, preferrably a little red-headed pixie like myself...  Someone to play dinosaurs with and dress up in hand made Halloween costumes.  Someone to teach how to dance, to make prom jewelry for, to love unconditionally forever.  I want that someday, not now of course... but someday.  So, to be told in your dreams that you will NEVER have your own children... That is the worst news ever.

That was my dream.  

On a plus note, I'm going surfing with Jimmy G on Sunday morning.  While other people go to church and worship the Lord, I'm going to be crashing into waves and worshipping Mother Nature, who is my goddess.  I'm excited to get some practice in.  I will have to go to work later in the day at 11:30, but we'll be surfing at 7 or 8 so I'll have enough time to get ready.  Then we'll be surfing on Wednesday night too!!  This is soooo awesome.  

Alright, I've ranted and raved long enough now.  

Here's a cat that meshes well with one of my topics.