Title: The Red Roses are... Desperate
Author: warumono_girl
Band/Pairing: KaixRuki (Gazette)
Theme: 8. Desperate (30emotions)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none.
Word Count : 420
Summary: Feelings shouldn't be kept locked on our hearts, by more than one reason.
Anxious >> Surprised >> Bewildered >> in Love >> Calm >> Excited>> Lustful >> Pitying >> Distressed >> Restless >> Disappointed >> Grateful >>Envious >> Enraged>>Indignated >> Fearful >>>> Grieving >> Apathy >> Desperate>> Longing




8. Desperation
Kai’s POV

I needed to see you, know that you were okay, even if you didn’t want to see me right now. That last look I gave you before leaving your apartment showed me how badly hurt you was. I’m so sorry for being the cause of it. Still I’m here holding my phone after having called you to announce that tomorrow morning I would stop by to see how you were doing. I should be forbidden to do it. I know that getting near you right now is only making things worst.

And I also know that I should still be enraged by the act you pulled, by the way that you rummage through my things and the assumptions you’ve wrongly made, but still, the only thing on my mind now was how broken you were on the moment I left. How badly your shoulders were shaking with your sobs, how hard you were gripping your hair,, almost pulling it out. I don’t know if you still think that the person on that photo is my lover or not, but right now I could careless.

I lift myself from my couch and walk over the balcony, lighting a cigarette and trying to think how I can fix all this. Deep inside me I just know that none of this is your fault, I know that your actions are mere impulses over the aches that you’ve felt when you were with him. I wanted so bad that you realize that I’m not even close to being like him, that I forgot that all of your weird behaviors probably held a very ugly scar to accompany them.

I left out a soft sigh, all the while looking over the sky, like it would just tell me all the answers I want to know. I just wished you have looked the back of the fucking picture before going around shoving tantrums. It probably would have never happened, and I would have you near me right now, softy snoring on my arms, and then I would have all the courage to face our future and your past like it never was a problem at all. God, I’ve just realize how strong you make me when I know you’re here, and how lost I seem to be without you.

Right now, I doubt some of the words I had on my mind when I left your apartment. I don’t know if I could ever let you go, even if you need it.








Title: The Red Roses are... Longing
Author: warumono_girl
Band/Pairing: KaixRuki (Gazette)
Theme: 18. Longing (30emotions)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none.
Word Count :517
Summary: Feelings shouldn't be kept locked on our hearts, by more than one reason.
Anxious >> Surprised >> Bewildered >> in Love >> Calm >> Excited>> Lustful >> Pitying >> Distressed >> Restless >> Disappointed >> Grateful >>Envious >> Enraged>>Indignated >> Fearful >>>> Grieving >> Apathy >> Desperate>> Longing




18. Longing
Ruki’s Pov


I awake from my turbulent slumber on the living room floor with a start, the images of the unpleasant dream still flowing on my mind, the horrible dream plaguing me like I would never escape it. I breath a couple of times trying do adjust my body, and slowly realizing that no matter how real the dream were, it was still a dream, one that can became real very quickly, but still a dream nonetheless. I try to put my shaken legs to work, getting up of the floor and barely making it to the kitchen. Images of the day and the scenes of the dream creating a mix of feelings inside me, making me remember the look on your face when you left.

Remembering the sinful red mark on your cheek, the tears started to sting on my eyes. Why? Why had I done that If I know that your words were true? My mind seems to fog even more, just like my eyes kept getting blurry and blurry. I feel suffocated on my own feelings and mistakes. The dream came back to my mind and the soft words spoken by you on it make me shudder even more.

I should have reached for you, said how sorry I was, said the true, that I knew you don’t have a lover on my backs, that I had seen the back of the picture and that I was sorry for the way I barged on your things, but none of it came to me then, and now, I’m here stuck on my disorder thinking, trying so hard to know why I reacted that way to you, why had I slapped you, and the only response I got is a blank answer. I simply don’t know. Maybe that was what I’ve always wanted to do to him whenever he got home smelling of someone else perfume, and now that he weren’t here for me to do it anymore and I had the courage build up over my cracked feelings, I just took it out on you.

As more as I think, more I feel how badly I’ve hurt you. I wish so much that you were here right now, like you always were whenever my mind keeps playing me tricks. I look over the cup of tea on my hands and the missing feeling just rose. I feel so alone when you’re not with me. I’ve always taken you for granted, you were always there when I needed, And now, facing the fact that was I the one that pushed you away, it only makes me want you more, makes me want to erase the last few days and just go back to the moment I knocked on your door, truly facing my feeling, with not but you on my broken mind.

I unconsciously look at the door, one more time wishing that you would just come back and say that everything were nothing but a nightmare, but as expected, the door never cracked open, and you’re probably still asleep on your own bed.



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I can’t believe that I’ve almost dropped it. Just when I get back to writing I realized how much I enjoy this series. So sad it’s gonna end XD~~


A lot of thanks to drako_malfoy &bubbalooee9 for feed back, I swear that I was almost giving up on this.

* my exams got to a halt, and I got a glimpse of vacation until my finals on January, so… I hope to finish it until them XD~~~~ *

I hate to live in Rio when summer comes. It’s over heated and rains too much to my liking. Why couldn’t I have born somewhere else?

Other pairings/series/Ficlets on my Archive.