It's been a not-so-fantastic sorta week. My heart is racing. Constantly. It refuses to quit beating quickly. Pounding, even. I can hear it. And I'm so angry. At everything. All of the time. I'm angry at everything and everyone. I'm angry at myself, and disappointed.

I feel like the outsider on campus. And even with all I've done to purposely keep to myself, this isn't by choice. I feel absolutely no connection with my peers. I don't understand any of them. I don't understand anything. Because I'm so thick. Nothing makes sense. At all.

Usually this thinking lasts a day or two. Then I have a nice nap on the floor, and though none of my problems are solved, I no longer give a shit. In fact, I feel silly for having cared at all. But it's been over a week now and I haven't been able to snap out of it. Dammit.

...

I hung out with Jessica yesterday. She watched a documentary for English with me, and then we had pizza on Main Street and took a walk to the shopping center to waste time. When I got back to Rodney, my floormates were decorating for a building contest. I gave up my bed sheets, covered things in bloody handprints with Jacky, and then sat in my room the rest of the night, as I am doing now.