Yeah, can't you tell my depression is bipolar? It's frustrating me how I can only be flat and depressed. It feels like I'll never be happy again.
Last night, I wrote my last words, but when I was getting ready to kill myself, my plan fell through. My mom was staying up until midnight working in her office. And the Sereqeol pretty much made me comatose for eight and a half hours. :(
Today:
-woke up depressed as hell
-faked being happy to try to please my mom in the morning before school
-listened to Hawthorne Heights on my iPod on the bus to school
-wrote in my journal in my empty homeroom that I snuck into (I was going to see the guidance counselor, but she wasn't in her office, so I just went to my homeroom on the same floor)
-all my classes- I was sad
-Gym: slight change of plans. I walked around the track (as usual) but some really nice eleventh and tenth grade girls started talked to me. And Marissa (eleventh grader) used to live in the same town where my cousins (Skyler, Logan, Aunt Katie, and Alexis) live. And Marissa seems really nice. I found we both have the same lunch.
Spanish 1- talked to Lindsey a little.
I wonder if everyone forgot I exist?
Lunch- S and her friend joined me at my empty table. Well, some preps sat at the same table, just at the far end. Some of the preps gave me weird looks.
Tutoring- slightly scratched my wrist with a paper-clip under the table in the classroom. No one saw, cause I was sitting at an empty table away from everyone. Didn't really do anything to help me.
Geometry- took a 4-Sight test on the computer, I was about ready to kill the lap-top because it was being stupid
-rode the bus home
-got on my computer (TH, email, and my story)
-did my Music Theory homework
-listened to my audio book
-looked at communities on LiveJournal
-looked up pictures on my computer of Hawthorne Heights
(They're SO cute!) :)
-ate dinner
And other crap I can't remember.
I want to work on my story again and take my shower.
Later.
-Tornblackrose