I was extremely pissed off a few minutes ago and it turns out I didn't even have cause to be. T_T

I spent absolutely ages working on a mockup of a new skin for EF yesterday and when I came to reopen the file today it was just gone. Like it was an empty file! So my immediate reaction was: "WTF?!!! I know I fucking saved it because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to preview it, so WHAT. THE. FUCK." And then out of desperation it occurred to me that perhaps I had another copy in a different file, and there it was. In my master Elysia folder, not the Skins subfolder. -facepalm- Turns out I'd saved a darkskin_mockup blank file in the skins folder ready to begin work but then just duplicated a different mockup in the master folder and worked on that instead. I can be such an idiot sometimes. T_T

At least it was a case of idiocy and not something worse, though. I'm struggling with my design muse enough as it is right now anyway, I wouldn't want to face such a blow!

The only reason I decided to even start a new skin is because EF is so frickin' quiet right now. It seems like everyone has disappeared. We're down to 8 active characters (8!!! That's the lowest we've ever had, I think, and five of them are mine!) I'm trying not to worry too much because a couple of members are sick or without internet, and others are having RL troubles that naturally make roleplaying a low priority but honestly, going to that site every day and realising that there've been no new posts since I went to bed is a freaking nightmare. I'm basically roleplaying with myself and, frankly, a site that's two years old should not need to rely on its admin to keep it active.

I'm trying to keep the recent spurt of activity in mind to tide me over during this slow patch because activity does fluctuate but it's driving me nuts. I'm always worrying so much about why people aren't active, and when even fellow staff aren't around it just makes things seem so much worse. I have to keep reminding myself to be patient and enjoy the downtime while I can.

It's silly, though, isn't it? When we're busy, I complain about the workload, but when we're not busy, I miss having things to do. In my defense, it's not the actual work that I moan about because I quite enjoy it, it's just the fact that so often I'm ending up doing someone else's job, but even so. I'm starting to sound like Gregory House - not happy unless I'm miserable. XD

It's just incredibly lonely, I guess, and I feel it so much more when there's nothing to keep me occupied. I've been trying to pass the time by making and learning new stuff, though. I've started getting curious about the differences between valid and non-valid HTML/CSS (enough to validate EF's website, only to discover that while the CSS is perfectly valid (YAY! :D) the HTML isn't) so I'd like to start reading up on how to validate my HTML more. I've started looking at web development blogs and tutorials to see if I can expand not only my base skills but also my style. I've actually been looking for some kind of graphics/design community where I could enter challenges and contests and stuff to try and push myself, but I'd love to find somewhere like Eden Enchanted (except for web/graphic design, haha) and based on a forum (I find forums easier to keep up with than things like LJ communities). I've not had any luck finding any so far, but to be perfectly honest I don't have a clue where to even begin. xP

I also found a tutorial on deviantART yesterday that encouraged me to try working with 3D rasters to make a wallpaper. I've never worked with rasters before so it was a new experience. I don't think I'll be working with them again. ¬_¬

Vectors, on the other hand... I found some gorgeous vector (photoshop) brushes today, with image packs since I have PSP-X... And why is it that more brushmakers aren't releasing image packs, seeing as they're so popular? It makes sense to me, because not only can older PS users gain access to the same resources as newer versions, but PSP artists can too! It strikes me that half the reason people feel they have to fork out such a fortune for photoshop is because it apparently comes with better brushes, except if brushmakers release the image packs too, that's no longer the case. I love brushmakers who release image packs! :D

Although, I discovered one today who was rather odd... She had a bunch of image packs with her brushes, but then for some she was like "Sorry, no image packs, I enjoy this set". It confused me. If she releases the brushes so others can use them, why wouldn't she release the image packs too? Oo; I mean, each to his/her own, and obviously it's her work so she can do what she wants with them, it just really didn't make sense to me. And for that matter, why on Earth do stock artists/photographers only grant permission for use on deviantART? Especially the ones who give free reign to use however you choose. If you're only using them on dA, there's no freaking point in downloading them! I've found countless gorgeous pictures I'd love to use in post layouts on EF, or web designs or whatever, and gone to read the rules - which say those things would be fine, except you can only use the stock on deviantART. Am I missing something about what that actually means?

Anyway... yeah... XD

I've been popping in to TNO a bit lately (because Evie wanted my opinion on something) and I'm actually starting to miss the place. Not enough to come back full force, but I especially miss the art studio, making graphics and stuff for the guild (as well as the lovely, lovely people of course. *cuddles them*) I just like making things and sadly don't have the time to keep up with Soggy Muse the way I'd wanted to. Since I hate things going to waste and I much prefer to make things for a reason (like, the only IPB skins I've ever made were for EF because I knew that way they'd get used), it'd be nice to make things for TNO again but I'm not under any illusions about actually being able to come back. :)

Bah, I've rambled too long now. ilu!