Mary Cooper

I find Mary's story to be one of the most fascinating of my ancestors' encounters with Angelus. As I'll explain in depth later in this chapter, she was the first in our family to have any prolonged experiences with Angelus, that didn't involve hours of excruciating torture. I felt that a tale as unique as Mary's would be best served if it was told in person, so I invited Mary to Sunnydale, where I was making my home at the time, to tell her story in person. As Angelus was still at large in Sunnydale at that time, she was reluctant to make the trip, but she was eager to have her story told. She finally agreed on the condition that we meet in a place where Angelus couldn't go. That meant that a public forum was out of the question. It also cancelled out my own home, as it was currently serving as a hostile for Angelus, Drusilla and Spike, after Giles had burned down the factory. Though he was completely vindicated in his actions, Giles felt partially responsible for my current living arrangements, and as he had already met most of my family at a gathering the previous year, he agreed to allow Mary and I to have our conversation at his home. The following excerpts took place there.

The Missing Piece

After escaping her childhood home, Mary, overburdened with her precious cargo and a satchel full of necessities, managed to flee only a short distance down the road before being intercepted by a carriage headed in the opposite direction. Given the circumstances which led to her flight, she was hesitant to approach the vehicle, fearful that the occupants might be in league with Angelus and her late brother-in-law. When the door swung open, however, she was relieved to see the face of Mr. Charles Dupree. The man she once viewed as a thorn in her side, an insufferable interloper, was now her only salvation in a world torn asunder. She gratefully climbed into the passenger compartment with her infant nieces, demanding that the driver carry them out of that place as fast as the horses could run.

Once inside the safety of the carriage, when Mary felt they had achieved a safe distance from the cottage, she explained to Mr. Dupree and the two men in his company what had transpired at the Penn home. Mr. Dupree responded by providing the last bit of information he had previously denied Mary and her sister. He confessed that he was in fact not a social worker, but an operative for the Watchers' Council, and went on to explain everything that entailed. Though Mary's mother Katie had written extensively of the Council, and of Mr. Dupree in her journals, and Mary herself had studied those writings until she knew them forward and backward, hearing the tale aloud somehow gave it more credence.

What Katie had failed to mention was that the Council had offered her refuge at the headquarters as long as she liked, and would have trained her in the same manner they had been training Slayers for centuries. Katie had refused the training, insisting that Holtz had given her all the training she needed, and that any additional time spent with the Council would be wasted time that could be spent hunting Angelus. Had she remained, she may have been better equipped to face Angelus and Darla, and Mary and Elizabeth would not be in their current predicament. This was the missing piece in the puzzle Mary had been searching for, the fatal flaw. While a part of Mary was angry with her mother for making such a grievous error, she was determined not to make the same mistake herself.

Learning to Live

Unlike her mother, Mary did not feel the need to rush off in search of Angelus. She knew where he was at the moment, and due to Katie's detailed descriptions of her visions regarding Angelus' previous crimes against humanity, she had a good idea of what he was doing there. Though the thought of abandoning her sister pained Mary greatly, she knew that by going back, even with Mr. Dupree and his companions aiding her, she would only be endangering herself and the lives of her nieces. Elizabeth had sacrificed herself to save them, and Mary was determined not to let that sacrifice be in vain. She would not repeat her mother's mistake of going into battle under-prepared. Angelus had found her once, likely by mere chance. Whether they sought each other out or not, Mary had no doubt their paths would cross again. In the meantime, she would accept the offer her mother had so stubbornly declined.

Mr. Dupree explained that the current Slayer, Marie-Christine Du Lac, who was no older than Mary herself, was serving under the French Monarchy at the Palais de Versailles. It was decided that Mary's interests would be best served there, receiving her training alongside the Slayer, under the tutelage of her Watcher, Edmund de Voison, within the security of the Palace walls. This all depended of course upon receiving approval first from the Council, and then from the French Monarchy. Gaining such approval from the Watcher's Council was simply a matter of going to the Council Headquarters and presenting their case in person. Once the Council Director, who at that time was David William Washburn (according to the prominently displayed plaque on his desk), heard Mary's tale and was able to reconcile it with the file they had on her mother, her wholeheartedly agreed that Mary should be trained as if she were a Slayer. Obtaining the same enthusiastic approval from the French Monarchy was another matter entirely. Communication was quite slow in those days, and bureaucracy was even slower, so it would take some time to receive a response once their request had been sent.

In the interim, Mary would begin her training academically. She was first instructed to thoroughly familiarize herself with the extensive files the Council had been compiling on Angelus, and was tested on them until she knew them all by heart. After she successfully completed Angelus 101, she was given a course on vampires in general, as well as other demons. She learned how to recognize any demon (vampire included) on sight, which weapons were most effective on which demons, and what, if any, special abilities each species had that gave them an edge in battle. She was also taught what she could do to protect herself from each species in addition to straight combat, such as wearing protective armor or repellent herbs and amulets.

In addition to the brief weapons overview she was given as part of her demon studies, she was also given a more comprehensive weapons seminar. She learned the names, history and proper uses for all manner of artillery. This did not merely include which weapons were best suited for particular demons, but also which situations would be best served by a particular weapon. For example, in some circumstances it would be better to use a stake or a dagger. In others a sword might be more suitable. In still others, an axe might be more appropriate.

Her final course of study involved working with the Council seers, learning to control her visions, to use them when she need them, rather than wait around for a last minute warning. The Council felt that above combat skills, or knowledge in demonology or anything else, developing her innate ability to predict the future would be Mary's best defense against anything that might do her harm, be it supernatural or mundane. She also studied very closely with a powerful coven of witches in the Council's employ. It was the coven's firm belief that by harnessing the same powers that allowed her to predict the future, Mary could also affect changes in her environment via various forms of psychokinesis. The principle behind this belief was that the seat of all these powers was in the mind. If one could divine future events using only their mind, they should also be able to control present events the same way. The coven felt that if Mary successfully developed these abilities, and learned to use them responsibly, she could be a powerful force for the Greater Good. With the guidance of the seers and the coven, Mary did learn to develop these abilities and by the time her relocation to France was approved in August 1786, she had not only learned to summon visions on command, but was becoming quite adept in the use of telekinesis.

Before the final arrangements could be made for Mary's relocation, a plausible cover story had to be concocted, so it was decided that Mary would be posing as Edmund de Voison's niece, whose family had been murdered by intruders. Mary had barely escaped with her life and her sister's children, they said, and "Uncle" Edmund was the only family she had left. It was mostly true, except for the part about Edmund being her uncle. The Royal Family agreed to take her in, and she was outfitted in attire befitting a noblewoman, before being sent to France. "Uncle" Edmund met her at the harbor in Calais, and on the lengthy carriage ride to Versailles, briefed her on proper Palace etiquette.

Don't do this, don't do that. Only speak when spoken to. Curtsey and say, "Yes, Your Majesty". Or rather, " Oui, votre majesté", because of course I had to learn French. That barbaric English tongue of mine would not be tolerated in the Palace. And he insisted I call him "Uncle Edmund". All the time. Even when we were alone. He thought I would slip up and blow my cover if I didn't get into the habit right away. Like I was an idiot or something. And I had to go to finishing school. You know, the whole Pygmalion drill.. It was such a pain. While still training with Marie-Christine and keeping up with the lessons I started with the coven. Ugh! Not what I signed up for. I was there to learn how to fight, so I could finally put Angelus out of my misery, not to learn how to be a proper French lady.

Though Mary detested the notion of becoming a "proper French lady", she was determined to do whatever necessary to further her training. So she learned the French. She wore the proper dress, and used the correct fork. She did everything the queen expected of her, and still managed to care for her nieces while practicing combat skills with the Slayer, and magic (for lack of a better term) with Edmund.

Mary was a quick study and excelled at everything Edmund strived to teach her. Within three months of her arrival, her French was flawless. In six months, her swordsmanship was unmatched except by the Slayer, and she could fire a crossbow like no other. She could shoot a fly off a horse from fifty yards away, and never touch the horse.

If I could see it, I could shoot it. If I could shoot it, I could kill it. Didn't matter if it was a vampire, demon, small animal, human. Whatever. Not that I ever would've killed a person. Really. But I could have. If I really wanted to.

Within a year of Mary's arrival, even the Slayer began to have difficulty keeping up, and Mary came close to beating her several times during their sparring sessions. Was Marie-Christine reaching the end of her prime? Was Mary a Potential Slayer? No. Mary was cheating. That is not to say that Mary lacked the skills, or wasn't training hard enough. She could easily defend herself in battle on her own merit, but perhaps she wasn't quite as adept as she portrayed herself. As I mentioned before, Mary was already quite proficient in the art of telekinesis, before leaving London. Edmund continued her training after her arrival in France, in telekinesis as well as her more important psi abilities-- clairvoyance and telepathy. With everything else in her tight schedule, the time for formal training in these areas was limited, but while she could only practice her fighting skills with Edmund and the Slayer, and only in secret, she could practice her psi abilities anytime, without anyone knowing. Telepathy is what allowed her to learn French so quickly, and how she was able to rival the Slayer's skills. She used telekinesis to direct her crossbow with pinpoint accuracy. Though Marie-Christine accused Mary of such tactics on multiple occasions, until our conversation for this book, she would only admit to subversive methods when it came to her knack for language, and with ordinary daily activities. Only her diary knew the truth, and it wouldn't fall into Council hands again for over one hundred years.

When Edmund was satisfied that Mary had learned all she could from controlled instruction, she was finally allowed to join Marie-Christine in the field, and accompanied her regularly on her various missions for the next two years, doing her part to protect humanity from the forces of darkness. That is, doing her part to protect aristocratic humanity from the forces of darkness. The Council at that time was horribly corrupt, Edmund included. Marie-Christine was raised to believe that her first duty was to the Council, then to the Monarchy, followed by the remaining French aristocracy. Common citizens did not even fit into the plan. By proxy, Mary's missions also followed those lines, though she heartily disagreed with the policy, being a commoner herself.

The French Rebellion

This policy began to change in the autumn of 1789. the poverty stricken citizens of France were growing bitter and angry over the insufferable conditions in which they lived. Marie-Antoinette was spending 2,000,000 livres on flashy jewels, while they had to scavenge for every scrap of bread. The Royals lived in the lap of luxury, with not a care in the world, while the good people of France slept on dirty floors with moth-eaten blankets-- if they were lucky. They needed a hero, someone to lead them in a glorious rebellion. They found that hero in a most unlikely source. A vampire calling himself L'hero answered their cries, portraying himself as a Robin Hood of sorts. Unlike Robin Hood, however, L'hero attracted impoverished humans to his ranks with promises of salvation, then turned them into vampires. The fledgling vampires then went out recruit more hopeless citizens to the cause, a pyramid scheme for the undead. This growing rebellion drew the attention and the concern of the Monarchy, and was dispatched to Paris to find and eliminate L'hero. Marie-Christine and Edmund were to travel Paris undercover, posing as commoners, and attempt to infiltrate his band of merry demons, thereby ending the rebellion.

Originally Mary was to join them on the assignment. It would be good experience for her, and her unique mental abilities could prove quite useful to insuring their success. Brigid and Cara would remain at the Palace with a nanny, as was the custom for these field missions, while Mary went to Paris with her "Uncle" and his charge. The night before they were to begin, however, Mary had one of her fabled visions. Her training allowed her to summon visions at will whenever she needed them, but they still came to her unbidden when something required her immediate attention. Sometimes they came merely as precognitive flashes, but this time it came in the form of a prophetic dream, like the one that had warned her of Angelus' arrival at her home in London. This time, though, she knew what it meant, and had the training to know that it was a genuine warning, and not simply a bad dream.

She actually had two dreams that evening. In the first, the rebellion had grown to powerful proportions, peopled entirely by vampires. L'hero was still as strong and influential as ever. A great commotion was taking place outside the Palace. It was a public execution. Marie-Christine was standing was standing in the crowd. Up on the platform, his head locked in a guillotine, about to be decapitated, was Edmund, shouting obscenities at his Slayer. As the blade flashed down, light from a torch reflected from it, blinding Mary momentarily.

When her eyes adjusted, Mary found herself no longer standing next to the Slayer amid a crowd of spectators in front of the Palais de Versailles, but alone on a Prussian battlefield. Mary explains:

There were no signs saying, "Welcome to Prussia" or anything like that. I just knew that's where it was. I knew the same way I knew Angelus was at the door that day in London. You know how sometimes you just know something? It was like that.

I was in a field somewhere, in the middle of some kind of tall grass. Sorry, I don't really know my grasses, wheat maybe? I don't know. It was some kind of war encampment, I think. I mean there were tents around. And soldiers. Dead ones. Some kind of battle had definitely taken place. There were dead bodies everywhere. Mostly soldiers, but there were some few women and children, too. I think I heard screaming. There was smoke, and fire. It was horrible. I walked around, looking at everything to see what I could see. At first there was nothing but more death, but then I heard this rumbling sound. I don't even know how to describe it. I guess it was like thunder, or maybe an earthquake? And I looked around, and then I saw it. This giganimous ten foot… rock monster. He was all bumpy, and he had horns. I believe you know him as 'The Beast'? And to this day, I think he's just about the scariest thing I ever saw. He was standing there with his back to me, and you know how it is in dreams. Everything is something to explore. You never run when you really should. So I moved in for a closer look, careful to make sure he-- it-- never saw me. I moved around to the side, and then I realized he was standing there for reason. He was talking to someone. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I saw who he was saying it to. It was Angelus.

I didn't need to see any more after that, so I woke up. Angelus was in Prussia, so that's where I would go. Ten-foot rock monster be damned. Angelus was mine for the killing and I wasn't gonna let some walking statue get in my way. I packed up my bag, got the girls up and dressed, then handed them over to the nanny. I told her about my other dream, the one about the rebellion and Edmund getting beheaded, and gave her the address of the Watchers' Council. Told her to take the children there as fast as she could get there. I said, "Don't even wait around to see if I'm right. Just go. If you wait, you'll likely be next." I didn't know if that part was true or not. It just seemed like a good thing to say at the time. Just to make sure she listened.

Finding Angelus

Mary packed a bag with a few changes of street clothes, some basic living necessities, and weapons-- lots of weapons. Amid the usual array of vampire-slaying implements (i.e. stakes and holy water), she also added some heavier artillery that had been given to her either by the Watchers' Council, or by Edmund as a part of her training. Included in her arsenal were a battle-axe from the Byzantine Empire, a Roman dagger with a bloodstone set into the hilt, her trusty crossbow, and her favorite-- a medieval era British sword. She told me she liked the way it felt hanging in the shoulder-harness on her back, and the fact that it could cut through anything and she could wield as if it were an extension of her arm, were certainly bonuses.

After making certain that her nieces were headed safely out of the country and on their way back to London, Mary climbed on her horse and rode in the opposite direction toward Prussia. She traveled on pure instinct, unsure exactly how to get there or what she would do if and when she found Angelus. Her plan, naturally, was to kill him, take her revenge for what he had done to her family, and stop him from killing any more of them. Beyond that, she hadn't a clue. How she would do it, how easy or difficult it would be, or whether she could do it at all, she didn't know. There was also the issue of the ten foot rock monster she had seen in her dream. There wasn't a weapon in her entire arsenal with which she could possibly hope to defeat a beast of that caliber. If he was truly what stood between Mary and vengeance, she knew her desire-- her need-- for retribution would go unfulfilled. There was no other choice. As badly as she wanted Angelus to pay for his crimes against her family, and against humanity, and as much as she wanted to be the one to extract that payment, she wasn't about to let herself be killed by a walking pile of granite in the process. She would have to take solace in the fact that if the Beast killed Angelus before she had the chance, at least his reign of terror would end. It did not even occur to her that the two might be in league with each other.

After a long and arduous journey, Mary finally made it to Prussia in November 1789. Though winter was nearly upon them, no snow had yet fallen, and the grasses were still quite high. As she rode along the Prussian countryside, she came upon a copse of trees. On instinct, she guided her horse through the dense woods, and when she reached the clearing on the other side, she found herself staring across a field much like the one she had seen in her dream. Mary describes the scene.

I knew right away that it was the same field. And I could practically smell Angelus. Not literally, of course. More like a sixth sense. Like the way an antelope knows there's a lion. Also my horse started freakin' out. He did not wanna go into that field. So I took him back into the woods a little ways and tied him to a tree. I grabbed my bag and went in on foot.

I couldn't see much, what with the grass, and it being dark and all, but about half way through I tripped over a body. It was a soldier. I looked up and that's when I noticed the rest of 'em. I'm not saying they were lined up or anything, they were sorta spread out like, all willy-nilly, but they definitely made a trail. Captain Dead Guy still had his gun, so I took it. I knew it wouldn't do me much good against Angelus, and even less against Rocky, but I thought it would give me a window in case I had to run. When I bent down to get the gun, I saw footprints. Fresh ones. And they were shoe prints, not big beastie prints. Angelus had taken that same path just a little while before I did. I could feel it. So I stood up and moved away into the grass a little so I would be seen and started following the body trail.

I didn't have to go far before I finally saw him. But unlike my dream, it was Angelus that had his back to me, not the Beast. I pulled out my sword and held it at the ready and stuck the gun in its place. Then I moved farther into the grass and tried to circle around to the other side so I'd be behind the Beast, facing Angelus head-on. They were wrapped up in their conversation and didn't notice me. I was focusing on my own agenda, so I didn't pay attention to what they were saying. I had almost got around them and I looked down just for a second to watch my step, and when I looked up Angelus was flying past me like a human projectile. Or vampire projectile, if you prefer.

So I scrunched down out of sight and watched the Beast thunder past me towards where Angelus had landed. Once he passed me, I tucked the sword under my arm and pulled the gun out, then moved into the open. I was sure the Beast was gonna finish Angelus off and I wanted to see it. But he never got the chance. These three witches-- well, I guess they were witches, I don't know what else you'd call them-- appeared out of nowhere and started chanting in some weird language. The next thing I knew, the Beast was just gone. I wanted to ask them just what the hell they thought they were doing, protecting Angelus like that, but then they disappeared too.

So now I had Angelus all to myself. He looked like he was unconscious, but for all I knew, he was faking. So I went in real slow like and kept the gun pointed right at him. Like I said, I knew it wouldn't kill him, but it could hurt him real bad, and that was fine by me. I put my bag down and went up to him as close as I dared and took a real good look. The Beast had done quite a number on him. He had a big purple bruise starting to form on his jaw. I didn't even know that vampires could bruise. But they can, and he was. And his lip was cut, like maybe he bit it. He sure didn't look like much all passed out and banged up like he was.

I lowered the gun and pulled my sword out and started pokin' at him with it. He didn't even move. So then I kicked at him. Still nothing. So then I brought my sword up and got ready to chop his head off with it, but then I thought, "What fun is it, if he doesn't see it coming?" It also occurred to me that if he woke up I might have quite a fight on my hands. I had to debilitate him first. So I backed up a ways and kicked him in the nuts. Hard. That did it. He woke up screaming bloody murder. Popped up like a jack-in-the-box and started cradling his crushed jewels. So I shot him. Caught him in the left shoulder, sent him right back down again. He starts floppin' around like a fish, tryin' to figure out which thing to grab. It was beautiful. I was lovin' every minute of it.

I could tell he was trying to look past the pain to see who is attacker was, and since I wanted the same thing, I backed off a few steps, but I kept my gun on him. I'd never even held a gun before, let alone fired one, but so far I was likin' it. I waited for him to settle down a bit, then I said something like, "Remember me, you bastard?" Then he squints up at me and says, "Elizabeth?" I go, "Wrong answer!" and shoot him in the left thigh. Just a few inches from his you-know-where. He screams some more, and it was like music to my ears. I waited some more, then finally he looks at me again, and I can see the gears turning in his head, putting two and two together. Finally he says, "Ah, you must be Mary. I should've realized. You're older than she was." It pissed me off to hear him talk about her like that, but I held myself in check. I said, "Good. Now that we've been properly introduced, say 'Goodbye.'"

I used my powers to pull out my crossbow and aimed it, dropping my other weapons. I was just about to pull the trigger when this voice comes to me out of nowhere, yelling at me to stop. It startled me and I jerked, pulling the trigger anyway. I just missed his heart. And I never miss. Never. I caught him in the sternum instead. So I looked around to see where the voice coming from. But there was no one there. I took aim again, and this time the voice stopped me before I even touched the trigger. It was a woman's voice, with a thick Irish accent. She said, "Mary, no! You can't kill him!" So now I'm getting pissed. Not only had this mystery woman interrupted me twice, but she knew my name. And she was making a fool out of me. Angelus was looking at me like I'd completely lost my mind. He didn't even hear her, thought I was talking to myself.

I started looking all around and demanded she show herself. She did. It was Anna. I swear, I could see her just as clearly as I can see you now. Not at all transparent like you see in the movies these days. And she wasn't in my head either. She was there! But I guess I was the only one that could see her, because Angelus kept asking who I was talking to. To which I answered by putting a bullet in his kneecap. Anyway, she tells me that I can't kill Angelus cuz he's apparently got some grand destiny, where he's gonna save millions of lives. [shrugs] I laughed. I couldn't help it. The very idea of Angelus somehow saving the world one day was beyond ridiculous. Then she explains that if she hadn't been hiding from Angelus at the time, my mother and father never would've met, Lizzie and I would never have been born, and the same would go for the next several generations. Angelus had to live, and keep killing us off one by one, or the rest of you lot would never be born. And millions of people would die because Angelus wasn't around to save them. [laughs hysterically] Sorry, but even now it just sounds so ludicrous I can't help it.

An Uneasy Alliance

The bottom line was Angelus couldn't die. Mary had effectively incapacitated him, so that for a time, he would be easy prey for anyone or anything that wanted to do him in, and he had made a lot of enemies in his thirty-six years of unlife. As a result, it was now Mary's duty to see to his well-being, until he was once again at full strength. This left Mary in quite a quandary. On the one hand, she wanted to heal Angelus as soon as possible so she could be rid of him once and for all. On the other hand, the moment he could stand on his own two feet again, and no longer had to depend on her for his livelihood, he would surely kill her.

This indisputable truth was compounded by the fact that Mary made the tragic mistake of repeating Anna's side of the conversation to Angelus. She reasoned that if she could no longer hurt him physically, she could at least hurt him with words. She assumed that the last thing Angelus would want to hear would be that he would one day save the world. The problem was he didn't believe it was true. He did, however, believe that she believed it. Whenever she would attempt to threaten him with bodily harm, he would simply remind her that she couldn't kill him, and would only be prolonging her own misery if she crippled him further.

Eventually Mary and Angelus reached an understanding. Neither of them wanted to be in the position the fates had placed them in, and both wanted to end the arrangement as quickly and as painlessly as possible. Mary made it clear to him that while she did not want to be stuck doting on him any longer than absolutely necessary, she was willing to suffer through a bit longer if it meant doling out the punishment he so richly deserved. His suffering would be far greater than hers if he continued to incur her wrath. Mary elaborates:

It was sort of a "I scratch your back, and you stay the hell off mine" kinda deal. He knew he had no leverage over me, as long as he was broken down like he was, and dependent on me for his survival. And I could keep him that way for as long as I wanted. He knew that too. Not that he couldn't still be a snot at times. He was. But for the most part, he played nice and called truce.

While Angelus recuperated from his injuries, the two passed the time making small talk and getting to know one another. They traded stories about their lives, their childhoods, and the like. Angelus explained about his father, how he came to meet Darla and become the creature that he was. Mary told him about the Penn's, her Puritan upbringing, and discovering her powers. She told him about her training, working with the Slayer, and about L'Hero. He told her what he did to Elizabeth.

Or he tried to, Mary explained. He really only got as far implying what he had done, before I threw Holy Water on him. He changed the subject pretty quick, then, and never mentioned her after that. I found out later that it was all bullshit anyway, except the part about her being alive somewhere. Well, dead, but as alive as I am now, anyway. What he did manage to get out before I gave him the what-for, was just to get a rise out of me. Congratulations! It worked.

Their alliance lasted roughly two weeks. For the first few days, Mary refused to sleep in Angelus' presence, and would only rest during the day, outside the abandoned barn where they made their camp. Winter was fast approaching, however, and sleeping outside, even the daytime, soon ceased to be a viable option. Angelus had been behaving decently, and since he still appeared to be reasonably incapacitated, Mary risked giving him her trust while she slept inside with him.

By mutual agreement they kept their conversations off of sensitive topics like Angelus killing her family, and onto safer subjects such as religion and politics. Mary reluctantly kept him fed, bringing him small animals and the occasional deer or stray dog that she had hunted and killed herself. Angelus was less than thrilled at the notion of eating animals, let alone dead ones, but beggars couldn't be choosers, so he begrudgingly accepted what she chose to give him, and gradually began to heal.

On the final day, when she deemed Angelus to be sufficiently healed to fend for himself, Mary prepared to head out for parts unknown. Maybe she would track down her nieces and they could be a family again. The air was brutally cold, and there was ample snow on the ground, but the sun was bright in the sky, and Angelus would be unable to follow her. By the time he himself would be able to leave, Mary could be long gone, and unlikely to cross his path again.

Angelus, though, had other plans. As has been mentioned previously, he could be quite charming at times, and very persuasive. Mary was not looking forward to braving the bitter cold outside, and since he had begun to earn her trust, when he asked to wait a moment, she stopped to hear him out, though she was still careful to remain in the patch of sunlight coming through the open door. Mary takes a moment to come to terms with the memory, before continuing her tale.

He wanted… The last thing he'd eaten was a badger two days before. Hello? Winter time, not a lot of critters running about out there. I was lucky to find that. He said it would be unfair of me to make him wait another full day, and then send him out into a cold, snow-covered night on an empty stomach. If I did that, I would be no better than him. Yes, he actually said that. He also said that if he should happen to run into one of his enemies, in his current condition, he wouldn't stand a chance against them. They'd kill him easily, and it would be the end of the world. Oh yeah. He played the destiny card. Me and my big mouth. I never should've told him. He was right though. I couldn't send him out like that. It would've made the last couple weeks all for nothing. And there was no way I was gonna find anything for him outside. His only chance was to get to a town, and I sure as Hell wasn't gonna stick around that long. So I gave him me. Stupid, I know, but there was no other choice. He promised that he wouldn't take it all, that he'd be careful, and I kept a cross handy, just in case. I thought it would be alright. But I guess I must have dropped it at some point, and… well… here I am.

Some months after my conversation with Mary, when Angelus had become Angel again, I asked him why he had done it. Did he have no scruples at all? Was it his plan all along, to gain her trust, then cut her down like he had all the others? Somehow, Angel managed to simultaneously hang his head in shame while glaring at me in defiance before attempting to justify himself.

I swear it was accident. I didn't mean to kill her. Really. It was just… You don't know what it's like. I had been living on human blood for the last thirty-six years. Until she came along, I didn't know anything else. And then she just takes it away, and gives me… badgers.

At this point, he has to stop, realizing he's entering dangerous territory, blaming Mary for his killing her. After my own experiences with his alter-ego, and his unsettling relationship with my sister, my patience with Angel was almost nil. It didn't take much for him to set me off, and like Mary, I couldn't hurt him pretty bad without much effort. He averts his eyes and takes a moment to rethink his words before continuing.

That was all I had the whole time I was with her, and I'm sorry, Rowynne, but it wasn't good. It was only slightly better than… Well, I don't know what it's better than. It's pretty awful. Better than nothing I guess. And I know it was only a coupla weeks, but from where I sat, it seemed like forever.

He meets my eyes, then, as if searching for sympathy, but he's barking up the wrong witch. Try being chained to a bed for days while Angelus breaks out his bag of tricks, then talk to me about forever. I have no sympathy for his badger-eating days. Angel recognizes this and continues.