life is kinda crazy how it can be going to so well and things are looking up
and then without warning it can all turn around and fall apart.

i have it all planned out
of how it should happen,
how i want it to happen.

nothing ever happens as planned
something always goes wrong.

i feel i have lost a part of me
im not in my right "state of mind"
without it.

everybody says that we all have so much time,
so much to look forward to.
i dont see it that way,
i live for today
and the thought that tomorrow may never come scares me the most.
they are so many things i would like to accomplish in my life,
but i fear that i will not have enough time.

i want to just cry
and forget it all
forget all the bad things in my life
and pretend they never happened
but i know that once that is over
they will still be there.
there is no easy way out,
no button to push to make it all better.

im tired of hiding it
and pretending im okay
when really inside, im crying.

i feel i have lost so many people that were so close to me
nobody has really passed away
but they have been taken from me.
/>i hate it, i hate it more than anything,
loosing something so close to me,
a part of me.
the new people that come into my life cant replace the ones that i have lost
they cant fill that void.

/>i dont know what to do
but to keep on living my life
and hope that i wake up one morning and it is all perfect.