It was the dumbest playlist ever.
Ryan had already listened to the stupid thing twice through – okay, so maybe it was more like five times, but it’s not like anyone was counting – and he still couldn’t determine a single recognizable theme, anywhere.Clearly, Chad was a complete amateur.
Not that Ryan shouldn’t have already known this, as he ruefully reminded himself. After all, Chad was used to charming girls out of their bras with nothing more than a flash of that gorgeous grin of his, so it’s not like he’d ever had to try before. Ryan, though—Ryan was not so easily charmed. And if he’d ever let himself notice that Chad’s grin was, in fact, gorgeous, it had certainly been in a purely ‘aesthetic appreciation’ sort of way. Like that smile was a piece of fine art. Van Gogh’s Starry Night, perhaps. Or Degas’ Blue Dancers. Or Michelangelo’s David…
No. Ryan was not going to think about naked men at the same time he was thinking about Chad. It was just a really bad idea.
Ryan sighed, and tucked the mp3 player back into his dresser drawer, beneath a neatly folded pile of boxer shorts. It was starting to get to him, this whole Chad thing. More than he’d admit to anyone, even Sharpay. With the looking, and then the not looking, and then the gift…. When Chad had first started chatting him up at that party weeks before, it had seemed harmless enough. But then Chad had worked his arm around Ryan’s shoulders, pretending for all the world like it was just a purely innocent ‘we’re like brothers’ man-hug type of thing. But then he’d started pressing closer, laughing loudly at Ryan’s jokes – even the ones that were really kind of pathetic – and staring right into Ryan’s eyes. That whole universal ‘making meaningful eye contact and holding it’ signal—there was just no mistaking it.
That was the point at which Ryan figured it was up to him to move things along, and he’d dragged Chad off to the laundry room. Although, to be fair, Chad hadn’t put up any kind of fight.
And yeah, Ryan had enjoyed himself. And obviously, Chad had definitely enjoyed himself—Ryan had seen to that. Personally. But the fact that Ryan genuinely enjoyed giving head, well, that was just a major factor of why he was so damn good at it. For one thing, he knew that even though he was on his knees, his posture as submissive as could be, he held the power. And he loved that, loved breaking down a guy’s defenses and dragging whimpers out of him, no matter how macho – or straight – he seemed to think he was. Ryan knew that with a little free rein, he could make a guy sweat, tremble, need.
It was crazy exhilarating.
Sure, maybe he’d had his eye on Chad for a while. But that was just to be expected. After all, Chad was a damn fine specimen of a young man in his prime, just past that awkward adolescent stage, and really starting to relax into the confident man he’d become. And Chad was hot, with that awesome athletic body, all taut muscles and lean limbs, moving with a natural effortless grace and smiling like he was friggin’ king of the world.
Gabriella could have Troy. Ryan was interested in something even better.
But that thing, the thing where Chad didn’t play by the rules—didn’t stumble away with his pants down and try and meld seamlessly back into his normal life, all the while knowing that Ryan had fucking rocked his world, and knowing that Ryan knew it too. There was a real edge in that, not that Ryan would ever take advantage of it; he wouldn’t. But still, he liked knowing it, and knowing that they both knew it.
But Chad… Ryan sighed again, deeper this time. Chad was throwing him off balance. What the hell was he doing, anyway? For all the world it looked like he was trying to woo Ryan or some archaic shit like that, and the very idea was just laughable. Ryan did not do the boyfriend thing. Of course, a large part of that was due to the fact that no one ever asked, and yeah, maybe that had something to do with how he only ever hooked up with straight-leaning guys. But still! So not the point. The point was that Chad was clearly stepping out of bounds, and it should never have happened.
And if Chad ever bothered to ask, then Ryan was going to tell him so.
* * *
But unfortunately, when the confrontation came… Ryan just didn’t have a chance.
“It’s been four days,” Chad announced, materializing out of thin air after last period one afternoon, and leaning back against the locker next to Ryan’s.
“Four days?” Ryan echoed, determined to look like he was totally consumed with searching for his history book, and not in the least bit rattled by Chad’s sudden appearance.
“Yeah. Since I gave you… you know.”
“Uh-huh.” Ryan pulled off his sapphire newsboy cap – it did wonders for his eyes, he knew – and combed his fingers through his hair, then settled the cap firmly back in place. “Yeah, I know.”
“And?” Chad was too close, way too close, and Ryan’s mind hurtled off-track for a moment, trying to identify his cologne. Whatever it was, it was entirely too enticing.
“And… what?”
“Ryan,” Chad muttered, and Ryan gave up with a roll of his eyes.
“What? You want to know what I thought, or something?” He slammed his locker shut and turned to face Chad full-on.
“Yes. Exactly. I do,” Chad insisted, like redundancy would score him extra points or something.
Ryan exhaled, then drew a slow breath back in, gathering his resolve. “It’s probably the stupidest mix I’ve heard. Ever.”
Chad’s eyes went round with shock, and then his face fell. Ryan’s jaw tightened, but he was so not going to notice how crushed Chad looked. Because that would just set him back days in this whole Operation: Disentangle thing he had going on.
“You—you think—why?” Chad asked, still looking like he’d just been informed that Santa was a hell of a huntsman, and he’d just shot and roasted the Easter Bunny.
“Not a single unifying theme, Chad,” Ryan pointed out, “not one! No intact genre, no unifying message… do you even know how this works?” And okay, maybe he was laying it on a little thicker than necessary, maybe implying that he thought even less of the gift than he actually had, but this was a desperate time, calling for desperate measures. Chad needed to stop.
So that Ryan could finally try and think about someone else.
"There is too a theme," Chad said, obstinately stepping up to the plate.
"Come on—Ben Harper, Nada Surf, Jonny Lang?" Ryan asked, hitching his messenger bag over his shoulder. "And Pearl Jam. Seriously, what are you? Thirty?"
"There's a unifying theme," Chad insisted again, and stepped in a little closer, until he was starting to crowd Ryan back against the bank of lockers. "Don't you want to know what it is?"
Ryan swallowed, grateful that the hall had all but emptied, the other students headed home, or to practice, or to work. "Sure," he said, and wished like anything his voice sounded just a little meaner.
Chad stared at him in silence for a long moment, until Ryan started to worry that his heartbeat was a little too fast, his breathing just a little too shallow. And at any second, Chad might notice.
But if he did, he didn't say anything. Instead, Chad quite obviously dropped his gaze to Ryan's mouth, then looked up to meet Ryan's eyes again before saying softly, "They're all songs that make me think of sex."
Oh. Fuck. Ryan's mouth went dry, and his breath shuddered out in the instant before he woke up and tried to steal back his self-control. "Right," he said, trying to manage as much sarcasm in a single syllable as he possibly could. "Because nothing says 'romance' like Nine Inch Nails."
But that didn't faze Chad at all—damn it, how did Chad keep getting the upper hand?—and he just smiled, that slow wicked curving of lips that was sure to haunt Ryan's dreams for nights to come. He leaned in even closer, until Ryan could feel the sheer intense heat radiating off his body, and when he whispered his next words, the warmth of his breath blowing over Ryan's cheek had Ryan shivering with lust. "I didn't say romance. I said sex."
And for what had to be the first time, Chad strolled away and left Ryan in the dust.
Because Ryan was suddenly so hard he couldn't even walk.
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Chad's playlist (can be downloaded here):
Massive Attack - "Inertia Creeps"
Nine Inch Nails - "The Becoming"The Rising - "Cradle"
A Perfect Circle - "Thinking of You"
Ben Harper - "Please Bleed"
Audioslave - "I am the Highway"
Folk Implosion - "The Natural One"
VAST - "Lost"
Jonny Lang - "Give Me Up Again"
Pearl Jam - "Wash"
Three Fish - "Solitude"
Nada Surf - "If You Leave" (OMD cover)
