I'd like to think that I have done a decent job of staying out of the drama that seems to follow the Bobbsey Twins everywhere they go. I don't usually play that he-said/she-said game. Like a special someone I know (of indirectly), I am prone to rage blackouts and binge eating. Thus, drama is not good for the soul.

But ealier today, I caved out of complete and total selfishness. I caved and went against the Monkey Code of Honor and shared with people information that was supposed to be kept confidential. I did this to ensure that all bridges were not only burned, but charred and floating in the atmosphere high above all things holy and unhly that dwell on this earth. Otherwise, I would have (at some point) completely caved and put my tail between my legs seeking resolution. Why? Because after six long years of having my heart ripped out and handed to me in the most ridiculous and childish fashions, I don't think I would have ever learned.

I guess sometimes you just need to do something really shitty to make sure that you (and everyone else) has a fair chance at moving on.

It's hilarious to me that this saga is now spanning four journals. Probably more, but I don't hang with the cool kids. I kind if just sit on the sidelines. I like to think I am the 'boot' to the Massachusetts that is the Internet.

I've read most of the slander being exchanged and wonder if people who read it think, 'Hmm. Who is this Rachel girl and when did she get so mean and nasty?' If you think about it logically, I'm pretty sure if I was as shitty as some people like to believe (slash write about), more people would know who I am. As you can see, word travels fast around here. Although I have been dubbed 'legendary' when it comes to being an asshole, my craft isn't in the drama and/or internet realm. My preferred medium is 'real life'. And since those individuals accusing me of being the 'ring master' don't like in the real world, I'd like to think that they have yet to experience my wrath.

Oh logic, you're always there when I need you.

Nonetheless, it takes someone with a big voice to use someone who has barely left scuff marks on the dancefloor as a scape goat in a desperate attempt to salvage her reputation.

I guess what it comes down to is this: it's a problem when you can't believe a single word that comes out of someone's mouth. It's a red flag in any situation for anyone to really step back and take a look at the situation at hand. If you don't have trust, then what do you have? A bunch of empty words and a whole lot of question marks.

I can't do that anymore. And I won't.

Although a lot of feelings have been hurt and a lot of dirty laundry has been aired, I feel deep down that eveything in the past had lead up to this moment in the present. Anf that my future will no longer be shaped by these people and their drama and their lies and their deception.

Without further ado, for those who may stumble upon this entry...

<lj-cut text>"The infamous 'email in question'. And everything I 'had to say about the subject'. Read from the bottom up.">

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Rachel