So Renn only recently informed me of the magic that is Growing Up Cullen. Weirdly enough, I only managed to read it after an extremely interesting semi-roleplaying session between her and I last Saturday morning. It wasn't until after we'd done it that I realized that we had produced our own similar dialogue- except ours takes place between the almost always homicidally angry Szilveszter Szabo!Tybalt and the manically goofy Zoltan Bereckzi!Mercutio. (They're totally slashable.)

Megan: So do you think Tybalt just carries around music to brood to?
Renn: Totally. His ipod is full of it.
Megan: You know Mercutio has a laptop with that iPod exporter software on it.
Megan: And he messes with Tybalt's playlists when Tybalt's asleep.
Renn: OKAY, WHO THE FUCK PUT SPICE GIRLS ON MY IPOD?! GOD DAMN IT, MERCUTIO
Megan: 'FUCKDAMMIT MERCUTIO WHY DID YOU REPLACE ALL OF MY 30 SECONDS TO MARS ALBUMS WITH THE VILLAGE PEOPLE'
Megan: 'I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU DID THAT'
Renn: Meanwhile Mercutio's just sitting there laughing his ass off, while Tybalt freaks out more and more
Megan: Mercutio would steal it and send it to the Apple customizer people and then when he got it back, he'd stick it in the couch cushions so it looked like Tybalt had simply lost it. Until he looked at the back.
Megan: 'WHY IN GOD'S NAME IS HELLO KITTY ENGRAVED ON MY IPOD??'
Megan: 'OH, I SEE. ANOTHER CAT PUN. HOW TERRIBLY ORIGINAL'
Megan: 'IT'S NOT MY FAULT, OKAY? IT'S MY NAME, AND I HAD NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER'
Megan: He'd wake up and find Mercutio braided his hair in the night.
Megan: 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NO BIG DEAL? A MAN OF MY STANDING SHOULD NOT AWAKEN BERIBBONED'
Renn: 'NOW WHEN I TAKE IT OUT IT'S GOING TO LOOK ALL STRANGE AND CURLY. WONDERFUL. JUST WONDERFUL'
Megan: 'NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I'M GOING TO DAMPEN IT IN ORDER TO UNDO THE INDIGNITY YOU HAVE INFLICTED UPON ME'
Megan: 'I DO NOT USE ANY SHAMPOO AS WOMANLY AND OVERLY FRAGRANT AS THIS HERBAL ESSENCES CONCOCTION YOU HAVE REPLACED MY NORMAL SHAMPOO WITH. I DO NOT WISH TO SMELL LIKE A FREESIA POMEGRANATE TWIST, MERCUTIO.'
Megan: 'WERE YOU READING MY DRAGONRIDERS OF PERN FAN FICTION AGAIN?'
Megan: 'NO THE HERO IS NOT ME! JUST BECAUSE HE WAS RAISED BY HIS AUNT AND UNCLE AND WAS IN LOVE WITH HIS COUSIN AND LIVES A LIFE OF MEANINGLESS RAGE AND DESPAIR
Megan: DOES NOT MEAN HE'S A MARTY STU!'
Megan: 'NO I AM NOT PUTTING YOU IN THE STORY STOP ASKING'
Megan: 'FINE! FINE! LOOK! BE THEN THE MIGHTY LORD STOPPED AT THE SIGHT OF AN IRRITATING REDHEADED IMP THAT SCREECHED AT HIM MOST ANNOYINGLY, AND IN ONE GRACEFUL MOVEMENT BEHEADED THE INSIGNIFICANT CREATURE!'