1. it smelled almost like autumn when i walked outside this morning.

2. i don't want to be here.  i don't, i don't, i don't.  fuck off with your attitude.  fuck off with your thinking you have any control whatsoever over the general proceedings of this office.  oooooh, you get to make the grocery order.  big fucking deal.  you do realize that the reason for that is because my time can't be wasted on something that insignificant, yes?  i have the ability to make your life a fucking living hell from the hours of 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM each day, so back. off.  there's a goddamn hierarchy in this office and you are going to have to deal with it whether or not you want to.  your boss answers to my boss.  you answer to me.  such. is. life.

3. i want a sword.  if i had a sword maybe i wouldn't mind being here.

4. well la-di-fucking-da.

5. i can't remember any moments of perfect right now.  what's wrong with me?

6. i read an article today about how the wealthy are feeling the economic crunch.  how they must choose between extravagant purchases and better deals.  between private jets vs. first class flights.  between selling their homes for millions or weathering the housing market.

please fuck off and die.  come talk to me when you are choosing between the phone bill and groceries.  between electricity and rent.  between everything and saving for a car.  between going to the doctor or hoping it'll just go away on its own.  oh how i feel for you.  oh wait, that's right - i don't.

7. there's so much i want to do.  i want to write that, and play this, and take those, and see and hear and do.  dangerous thoughts, you know.  what's the point of life if you can't do it all?  i need to move somewhere with more vacation time.  *makes list*

8. i forgot just now, about having to stay late.  i wanted to come home and watch a movie, or take a walk, or something.  i'm miserable, can you tell?  when's the last time i made a happy post?  an excited post?  an anything but death and hate and bitter apathy.  i don't know how to un-miserable things.  i feel like i'm lost.

9. i need to work on my own website.  come up with a few ideas on what it should look like, how it should flow.  what it should showcase.  do i want your typical sparse and non-informative design page or do i want something more?  probably more, knowing me.  hm.  that could be a good thing.  more of that work (and less of the type of client i am currently dealing with) would be great. 

10. it's funny.  you don't often get a feel for just how big the world is, or just how tiny it is in comparison to the universe.  i can't help but think of it every time i really look at the sky.  right now the clouds are moving.  slow, but steady, only it's not exactly just them, is it.  we're moving too.  spinning.  did you know, we're spinning at nearly 900 miles per hour?  and moving around the sun at just over 67,000 miles an hour?  amazing, isn't it, that we can't feel any of it.  ha.  that amuses me. :)