--If Mr. Bright here told you to vote Republican, would you do it?
--No sir. I don't vote Republican... or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always write in the Lord's name.
--That's Republican. We count those.
~30 Rock

lol. The 30 Rock premiere is tonight, after The Office, and everyone is buzzing about it. TV analysts are waiting to see what type of ratings boost the show will get since it absolutely killed at the Emmy's and Tina Fey has been thrown into the fad-world because of the Sarah Palin skits. I'm hoping the show does extremely well because it is such a well-done and hilarious show. Unfortunately, or fortunately for its fans, the only thing that has kept it on for two years is the raving of the critics and the fact that it received the Best Comedy Series for the past two years. 30 Rock deserves great ratings because it has the potential to have a bigger cult following like The Office, which has a potential to be bigger than Friends, which means it could go into the legendary status that Seinfeld has. There's a new type of comedy that is blowing your ordinary, basic, 3-camera sitcoms out of the way. They are shows like Arrested Development, The Office, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, etc. - the shows that don't need a laugh track so you can know when to giggle along. They are more clever, more subtle with the wit, and slightly, if not blatantly, controversial. And aren't those the best types of comedy?

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On a totally random note, am I afraid to love?
I had a dream last night that was pretty straight forward. I, along with about five other women, went to this sort of dating class, I guess you can say. The instructor relayed to us that we each had to go to a table, and by the table there would be a guy that we had to flirt with. We were basically told to show our technique. Mind you, even in my dreams, I don't have a technique.

These men were gorgeous, so of course, I didn't go to my table. lol. One of my friends was really nervous about going over and trying to talk to her guy (or project lol). So in order to delay my practice, I went over to support her. Anyway, we sat down and I was so caught up on making sure she wasn't near hyperventilation that I didn't notice that the guy I was supposed to flirt with had come and sat next to me. I turned and saw him, jolted in surprise, and didn't really know what to do. So I put my hand on the inside of his knee, smiled at him, and asked him how he was. He pushed my hand away and told me to take it more slowly. I was stunned and felt completely embarrassed. Because of that, I turned back to my friend and her flirting techniques and didn't talk to my guy for the rest of the session.

It's obvious that I have a problem with rejection. I mean, who doesn't? I just had no idea what to say to this guy. I was thrown into a lion's den (except not really because they were there for us to practice on), but still! lol. I'm such a Leo - I'm used to either keeping my mouth shut or being one hundred percent honest. I don't know a middle ground; either I'm in or out. I don't know how to subtly let you know that I think you're sexy. I tell you that you're sexy. Doing that whole "Touch his arm, or smile more at him than you do anyone else" thing doesn't work for me because I do that to everyone I know. Your flirtation skills are my friendly skills. That's me.

Also, in your dreams, you can't lie to yourself. Every thought you have turns into manifestation. You can't hold anything back - which is why I love dreams for better or for worse - they show you what you can't see consciously. Part of me didn't want to talk to the guy because I was afraid of where it might lead; I was afraid of the things he might find out about me. He would come to realize that I was boring as hell, that my life doesn't consist of any cool stories or interesting quirks. He would say, "What a simpleton you are," and I would have to bow my head and sadly say, "Yes."

I'm so happy with who am I, but when you try to date, you want to know if someone else will be happy with you.

I don't just fear rejection; I am literally terrified of it. So much so that I am scared shitless and into immobility. It's like a really bad horror movie where the monster is coming and all I can do is just stand in one spot, frozen, and scream. Everyone is yelling at me to move and react, but all I can hear is the blood rushing through my body and stand in place like the statue David - except I'm not being heroic at all. There's a rock and slingshot in my hand, but I'm too afraid to beat down Goliath.

Remember to love.