Ahhhh...first day in Champaign where I am not working or unpacking. I am parked on my becoming-jiggly ass at Aroma, enjoying an Au Lait the size of my head. There is a dirty hippie across from me with long, ratty hair and mandals. That's man-sandals, for the uninitiated. In my opinion, unless you are Jesus, (having long, ratty hair and a beard or draping yourself in a sheet does not count)  you should not be wearing sandals. I consider myself a manivore, that's man-eater, for the uninitiated. I love every part of a man, every goofy little thing from the little monkey-hair patch above their butts to the adam's apple. But man-feet? Yucky. Crooked, lumpy, knobby, dirty, with jagged yellow nails. Even if the feet are well-kept, they're still heinous, and they should not be seen in public. They only need to come out for bathing, sleeping,and doing the deed, in which case I am not looking at their feet anyway. I'll bet Jesus had awesome feet. Think the son of God had hammertoes? No way. Bunions? How in the hell does one walk on water with bunions weighing him down? Sheesh.

Speaking of oppressive religions, I'm quite amused by this "writer's block" feature here on LJ. I see it every time I log in, I guess this is a helpful suggestion in case I'm actually thinking of something other than myself for once. Yeah, right. Anyway, I notice today's suggestion is about Ramadan, and what am I planning to do about it? Hm.....Nothing! I'm a lapsed Catholic heathen. So, the Ramadan fast begins and lasts all month. I think for the occasion I will order a garbage pail pizza, extra pork products, and sit outside a mosque and eat it, using my left hand and facing east. How's that? And when the YouTube video of me getting my head sawed off with a plastic butter knife shows up, I hope my sister sues LJ for millions because they made me do it with their suggestion that I get jiggy with the muslims.