Banner by the exceptional paulabm

Beta: anobtuselife - with thanks for your encouragement :)
Rating: PG-13 for adult themes and reference to teh sex
Pairing: Viggo/Orlando rps
Word Count: This Chapter - 1,616
Disclaimer: Not real, not for profit, not mine.
Feedback: Always adored.

Genre: A ladle full of angst, a pint of romance, a dose of hurt/comfort, a dash of historical AU, and a twist of New Zealand. Written for the viggos_50 prompt table.

Warnings: This fic contains major religious themes that could cross into what some might consider sacrilegious territory. My intent is not to offend but instead to explore faith, hope and love. Angst, ladies and gentlemen.

Summary: The angel lay with the man and knew that one Heaven had been exchanged for another. The angel knew the mortal would be gone too soon and so refused to return to Heaven. Refused to return to God. The angel exercised free will in order to indulge in lust... in love... and by doing so, the angel chose to fall.

Prologue ~ Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5



The Tests:
Sand ~ Feather ~ Stern

Sand

Ostriches. They are an obsession of Viggo's for a while. Viggo actually goes to an animal park at one point. Asks to speak to the ostrich keeper, who thankfully turns out to be a fan and familiar enough with Viggo's reputation not to blink at the crazy actor's questions about ostriches. Well, their behaviours really. Well, one behaviour really.

Turns out ostriches don't hide their heads in the sand at all. Viggo knows he looks disappointed, and the keeper, seeing that disappointment, tries to make up for it by saying that they're still pretty cool. She tells Viggo that in Ethiopia orthodox churches have seven ostrich eggs on their roofs to symbolise the Heavenly and Earthly angels. The keeper is perplexed when Viggo stares for nearly a minute and then laughs his gap-toothed, frenzied laugh for at least two minutes more. Viggo's ribs ache. Or is it his heart?

Still, as perplexed as the keeper looked, she has nothing on Orlando's face when Viggo presents him with an ostrich egg.

"You know, something to remind you of me."

"An egg?"

"Why not?"

"Erm. No reason at all. Thanks... a ... er... lot. Really. Cheers."

Viggos, see, they actually do bury their heads in the sand. Or do they just turn the other cheek? It's hard to keep track sometimes. What with the Kates and the Erics and the film projects all over the world and the trips to Antarctica and the summer seasons on the London stage and the car accidents in LA.

Viggo knows that Orlando needs to live his life. This life. He needs to bow to his audience and have his town call his name in adoration. Viggo knows he cannot... must not... always protect Orlando, no matter how much he wants to.

Viggo believes in Orlando when Orlando says he will always come back and that Viggo should feel free to make merry in his absence because Viggo has also promised always to come back to Orlando. Viggo tries, but the thing is, Viggo isn't too sure what his own version of making merry looks like. It's dark you know, with your head in the sand.

~

Feather

When Orlando had remembered, under a perfectly clear moonlit sky, Viggo had imagined that perhaps Orlando's memories would return. He's not quite sure now what he had thought might happen. Romantic reminiscences about that time they climbed trees together back in the 1490s? Cosy chats about how perfectly ridiculous they had been to be so terrified of a deluded priest? Orlando's memories didn't come back like that at all. Even when they did come to him, Orlando was generally convinced it was some wierd piece of déjà vu. What could Viggo even say?

Well, it's like this. I was an Angel of the Lord, you were a perfect mortal, and it was a classic case of boy meets angel, angel breaks all the rules in the book, defies the Archangel Michael (not to mention God), and gets cast out of Heaven. Meantime you died, got reincarnated, and we were still linked - felt it when you broke your back even (I know! Crazy hey?!) - and then you got cast in the motion picture event of the century straight out of drama school and I took the job with a day's notice because my son (who turned out, after all that worry, not to be one of the nephilim after all, thank all that's holy!) told me I should.

Divine plan you say? What ever gives you that idea?

No, Viggo doesn't think so either.

So he waits, patiently, for whatever can break through Orlando's consciousness and stick. Like with the feather. They are walking a river path on the Stour on trip to visit Orlando's Mum. Sidi runs and Orlando chases and when Viggo catches up Orlando is crouched down just staring at a pure white feather he has picked up from the grass. Viggo comes to a halt a few feet away, wondering what might be about to break through.

"Swan's?"

Orlando's voice is small, unlike him. "Must be. It's so pure. Perfect." He stands up and offers it to Viggo.

Viggo takes it and holds it gently in the palm of his hand. "Yes, perfect."

They both tingle as Orlando runs a finger over the soft barbs. "You... I remember light and clattering feathers and... you?" He searches for more words and finally looks at Viggo for help.

"And I arrived?"

"Yes. Isn't that crazy?"

"Nothing but the truth."

"Truth?"

"Truth."

Weeks later, Viggo finds the feather tucked into the inside pocket of Orlando's duffel. So Viggo waits, and piece by piece, Orlando comes back to himself, and to Viggo.

~

Stern

Perhaps the biggest test is Viggo's relationship with whatever higher power it is that has made this all happen. Or did Viggo and Orlando make it all happen? It is just all so difficult to reconcile.

Is there some stern, angry, vindictive God who has condemned Viggo to live and relive his mistakes over and again? Maybe, though it is hard to see what the point of that would be.

Or is there a strict, teacher-type God who expects you to learn from your mistakes and makes you repeat yourself until you get it right? Possibly, but good teachers, even stern ones, give you an idea of where you went wrong so you can try to correct yourself. Viggo doesn't seem to have received a feedback slip with suggestions for improvement.

Maybe it's more that the Greeks had it right and that humans merely walk the boards of a heavenly directed commedia for the entertainment of immortals. Viggo almost hopes so, at least then someone, or some deity, will be getting some amusement from all of this.

He does pray, sometimes. Or maybe it’s more meditation. Maybe.

The answer to this test, if a test it is, creeps up on Viggo. He watches Billy's son Jack toddle to Orlando as Orlando walks backwards on his knees to keep Jack moving forward. Jack's face is full of adoration for his Uncle Orrie as he totters on, not once even considering that the large person he can't really communicate with or understand would ever, ever let him come to harm. And of course Orlando never says, "Don't worry Jack, I've got you." It's unsaid. Everyone in the house knows Jack is safe. Even Jack.

Later he watches as Jack, overtired, throws himself on the floor and sticks his head behind the sofa, refusing to acknowledge anyone's attempts to cajole him out. Henry did it too. Same as the peek-a-boo game. If a toddler can't see you, they don't think you exist.

They're wrong.

You're there all the time, watching. Loving. Waiting.

~

The Now:
Clouds ~ Fifty

Cloud(s)

And God said, "This is the token of the covenant which I make between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:

I do set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between Me and the earth.

The angel found the Lord a difficult task master, but now Viggo somehow knows He is not unjust. The rainbows appear in cloud filled skies and Viggo photographs them. He never publishes those pictures, never exhibits them or sells them. They are evidence of God's promise, that the Heavens and earth are linked and one.

Viggo shares them with one person and one person only. Orlando never chooses a favourite. He says he loves them all for what they give Viggo. Faith. Hope. Belief.

As long as the rainbows are set high and bright and beautiful in the sky there will always be that: faith, hope, belief.

~

Fifty

Viggo is on the eve of fifty. Half a century on from half a millennia ago. He is in Denmark, land of his human father, made of his Heavenly Father. He will turn fifth with his faith intact.

His faith cannot be described by comparison with any of the good books on Earth. Viggo believes in angels and reincarnation and redemption and miracles. He believes in a divine maker who loves, knows and has a plan for every living creature on Earth, even if it takes a lifetime or two to fulfill it. Viggo does not know if he will be saved or forgiven. He does not know if he will ever regain his angelic status or ascend back to Heaven. His fifty years have not been enough to let him into that secret. He has his memories, all of them, and that will have to be enough, for that is all any human has. Humans do not have foresight and human is what Viggo is, regardless of what he may have been before he was... 'he'.

Viggo turns fifty with a son who believes in himself and trusts in his father. He turns fifty knowing he has achieved such that anyone would be proud. He stays true to his artistic and philosophical beliefs. He rails against injustice, tries to help where he can, offers a hand to those he knows are in need. Nothing has changed there.

Viggo turns fifty with Orlando by his side. Orlando never really left him, Viggo knows that now. He has been a phantom but beloved presence from the moment Viggo came to himself under the shadow of a cross, lying in one agony before immediately finding another. Orlando was waiting to be found, or waiting to find Viggo; Viggo is not quite sure which is the truth but is content with either.

Viggo turns fifty knowing he loves and is loved in turn and really, that's all any of us can hope for, isn't it?


end

Author's notes over here :). Link to my prompt table over here.

A last thank you to anobtuselife (beta), paulabm (banner) and idlesloth (general advice) for all the help with this fic. Please do consider leaving a message for them here (although I know some of you have already and that is so appreciated!).

A final, final thank you to those of you who commented on the road to the end (or indeed who are planning to comment now the fic is complete) - it was so encouraging and reassuring, I just can't tell you. I love reading anything you have to say whether it be one word or three paragraphs. Rest assured, Viggo and Orlando will now live happily ever after.