4:00 pm

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

“You and I need to talk, dude.” Logan dropped onto the bed next to Duncan and frowned as the Kane heir rolled to his side to put Lilly on the mattress. Duncan motioned to the balcony, and for half a second, Logan debated following him. Duncan was volatile on a good day, especially since he admitted to taking his meds on a regular basis for Lilly’s sake. The last thing he wanted was to bring up a topic that would almost surely make him relapse. Duncan watched him expectantly and Logan realized that he made his bed; he might as well lie in it. “It’s about Veronica.”

 

The plan at the start of the trip had been simple; He would let Veronica tell Duncan about what had happened after he had left, and in turn, Logan would keep his mouth shut through the torture of Duncan trying to set them back up. It had worked really well until he realized that Veronica wasn’t planning on sharing anything with their friend that might upset him. No matter how much he had tried to push, Veronica just kept saying that Duncan was better off not knowing.

 

It was a shame that Logan didn’t feel the same way.

 

They were two days away from returning back to their regularly scheduled lives and it was about time for Duncan to hear the truth. And to hear why Logan wasn’t about to declare his undying love for Veronica.

 

Duncan took a deep breath and blew it out of his nose. He had a feeling that whatever it was that Logan, Dick and Veronica were hiding from him was about to come to light. “What about her?”

 

“There’s something you don’t know about Graduation.”

 

For a moment he looked confused. “Beaver’s nosedive?” He clarified solemnly. “It made the headlines everywhere, man. What’s not to know?” He checked over his shoulder to make sure Lilly was still sleeping and then watched his best friends face. “If this is about you and Ronica being on the roof with him – ”

 

“She was going to shoot him.” Logan confessed, taking a swig from the beer that Duncan realized was in his hand. He set it on the railing and pulled the cigarettes from his pocket, offering Duncan one. “I wouldn’t have blamed her. Hell I wanted to do it.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Beave shocked her with her own taser.” Logan’s voice was even, almost detached as he relayed the events on the roof to Duncan. He described how he had found her, sobbing over her cell phone, and how after he had wrestled the gun away from Cassidy that Veronica had trained it on him and almost pulled the trigger. There was a pause before Logan finally gave up the one piece of information that would make everything better and worse from there on out. “She was right.” He started. “You weren’t the only one with her at Shelly’s.”

 

The silence was deafening.

Logan was almost afraid to look at his friend, especially after Duncan’s hand clenched on his cigarette. He took a deep breath, then another, and just when Logan thought he would be okay; Duncan spun in his seat and fast pitched his coffee mug against the side of the house. If he hadn’t known that the rage would turn on him, he would have fussed that that was perfectly good coffee.

 

“She’s gotten over the shock.” He told his friend calmly, trying to maintain the façade that he always had when he spoke of Veronica’s rape and what he had done to facilitate it. There would always be a time when Logan would feel responsible for everything that happened to Veronica in high school.

 

“Good for her.” Duncan bit back.

 

“Then last year she decided to track down the campus rapist.”

 

Duncan frowned, and then nodded. “I’m going to guess it didn’t turn out well.

 

Logan shook his head. “She used herself as bait.” He clarified. “She was drugged, and if Parker hadn’t heard her, God only knows what would have happened to her.”

 

Duncan could have sworn that Logan was trying to tell him something else. Then again he knew his friend too well. “You keep thinking about what they would have done to her?” He asked carefully.

 

“I can’t get close again.” He took a drag off of his cigarette and then leaned into the railing. “I’m not going to let myself get close again.”

 

Duncan nodded. “You never backed off.” He said sagely, knowing that the conversation was taking a turn away from where Logan wanted it to be.

 

“She’s okay.” He said at last, shifting back to Veronica and their original conversation. Male bonding time was over with.

 

Duncan nodded fluidly, side stepping Logan and heading back into Logan’s room to pick his daughter off of the bed. He held her to his chest with a possessiveness that Logan had only seen once or twice before. “He better be glad he’s dead.” He almost growled.

 

“I’m sure he is.” Logan smashed his cigarette butt on the railing and followed after his friend.

6:55  pm
Saturday, June 16th, 2007

 

“Logan told me.” It was a simple statement made over a simple dinner that tore the entire room apart. From her place next to Mac, Veronica froze, and she and Logan exchanged looks while Dick slammed back his drink. It seemed the everyone knew what was going on.

 

Almost everyone.

 

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Logan said simply, looking to Piz. “But you and Parker need to get in the pool.” It took all of three minutes for everyone at the table to understand what was going on and for Piz and Parker to vacate the room, Parker taking Lilly with her. “Now,” he said simply. “You can say what you need to say.”

 

“You told him?” Veronica was on her feet in almost an instant, pointing a finger at Logan and then looking to Duncan. “You had no right.”

 

“I had every right!” The table was deafeningly silent, everyone waiting for the other shoe to drop. “I had a right to do what you wouldn’t.”

 

“You told him.” Veronica pointed to Duncan again without sparing her friend a glance. She kept her eyes locked on Logan’s and repeated herself.

 

“You were going to.”

 

“I didn’t want him to know!”

 

“SHUT UP!”

 

The entire table looked at Dick, who was now standing on the other side of Mac. “Shut up.” He repeated. “So you didn’t want Duncan to know that Beaver raped you. Big fucking deal. It’s done. He knows.” Dick turned fully to the table and shrugged. “This whole fucking world has taken so much from us, from all of us. And all the Aarons and the Celestes and the Cassidys of the world aren’t around to give it back. So what?” He stopped and Mac reached out her arm to take his hand. He stuttered for a moment and then he blinked. “So I say we hold on to the only things that we can. And that we at least have friends that we can share our losses with.”

 

There was a moment of silence, in which everyone seemed shocked that the outburst not only came from Dick, but made sense. And out of the silence, Mac decided that there was one loss that she never really allowed anyone else to know. Smiling she opened her lips.

 

“I was switched at birth with Madison Sinclair.”

8:20  pm
Saturday, June 16th, 2007

Of all of the places to dream about while on a vacation designed to purge the bad memories, the Kane back yard had to top the list in strangeness. Veronica stood at the back door staring at the perfectly groomed lawn that Celeste and Jake Kane paid so dearly for. She was about to turn to head inside when something to her left caught her eye.
 
The stain seemed to bleed itself onto the concrete, overly large and crimson and smelling of wet copper. The furnishings around the stain almost rearranged themselves, the loungers spreading out and tables moving from one side of the pool to the other, and the ashtray knocking itself into the pool to rest on its side in the deep end.
 
“Did you know that it took the cleaning crew a full week to clean this up?” The voice came from in front of her and behind her all at once, and for a second Veronica had to remind herself that she was dreaming to keep from going crazy. There was no reason why the echo that had taken up residence in her head was the voice of Lilly Kane.
 
The lounger to her left shifted slightly and Veronica’s eye lit up as they followed it instinctively. “Lilly?”

There was a gash on her forehead, almost like the way it was after it had been cleaned by the coroner for her funeral. Her pep squad uniform was nowhere to be found, replaced by a pair of tight jeans that flared at the bottoms and a black halter-top that tied around the neck with an asymmetrical hem. Her toenails, something that Veronica had never really noticed on her friend before, were bare, something that Veronica knew Lilly never did. Her hair was down, which helped to hide the mark on her head, curling around the ends in a way that Veronica’s used to.

“Good to see you haven’t forgotten me.” Lilly wrinkled her nose and looked around at what had been the scene of her death. She didn’t try to keep her voice light. If Veronica could change then so could she. “You can relax I’m not here to tell you of your impending doom or some crap.” She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “Well almost.”

Veronica took a step forward and moved around her friend, surveying the back yard at the Kane Estate. Every single detail reminded her of the night that she had stumbled upon the crime scene. She stepped over the smeared bloodstain on the concrete and turned to face her friend. “I haven’t seen you in years.” She admitted out loud.

“You and I both know you’re lying.” Lilly cocked an eyebrow and allowed her sly smile to cross her lips. “After you caught the campus rapist and almost became his next victim you dreamed about me for a solid month.” She turned in a circle and looked down at her clothes. “Granted those dreams were a little more pink.” Veronica opened her mouth to respond and Lilly shook her head. “Don’t feel bad. Logan did too if you can get him to admit it. He kept thinking about what would have happened if Parker hadn’t been there.” She rolled her eyes. “I swear you died prettier then I did.”

Veronica stumbled over herself for all of three minutes. Then she took a deep breath and approached this the same way she would anything else. “What am I doing here?” She asked almost harshly, watching the stain dry and harden right in front of her eyes.

“Okay, so I lied.” Lilly stepped directly on the spot where she had died, her eyes falling to the concrete for half a second, marveling at the look of her pale feet on the dried blood. “You and I are going to have an argument.”

“What?”

“Sorry, I just couldn’t find the right lead in.” Lilly threw her hair over her shoulder and pursed her lips together.

“What could we possibly have to argue about?”

 

There was a second where the air around her best friend was electric. “I didn’t do this to you.”

 

She motioned to Veronica’s body and when the younger blonde looked down she realized that she was dressed the way she was on the first day of junior year of high school. The day she met Wallace. “You just changed my clothes.”

 

“I’m not the reason for the change.” Lilly ran a hand through her hair, skimming over the spot on the side of her head and then she dropped her hands to her sides. “I didn’t cause this.”

 

“I was fine before you died.” Veronica said shortly. So she may have been harboring some resentment for Lilly dying on her. There wasn’t a person around who wasn’t pissed at Lilly for leaving them.

 

Lilly let out harshly, her hands curling up underneath her face. “I didn’t do this to you.” She had made it through Duncan and Logan, and never once had she thought that Veronica would be the hardest. Then again, her conversation with Duncan had set the tone for her visit to Logan, and she had had a hell of a lot more to say to Veronica. “Me dying did not do this to you.”

“I stopped trusting after you.” Veronica said indignantly. “I had to learn to be alone.”

“You stopped trusting after Logan.” Lilly corrected. Her eyes darted around and finally settled on the stain. “I did it to Logan. Logan did it to you.” She paused. “And you forgave him month’s ago.”

“What he did – “
 
“God damn it.” Lilly snapped, slamming her palms into her thighs. “I’m not good with this kind of thing.” She took a step back and sighed. “You need to know that I would give anything for you to feel whole again. I love you Veronica Mars.”

 

“I love – “

 

“Logan also loves you.” Lilly said clearly. “And you need to let him.”

 

“Since when do you play matchmaker?”

 

Lilly laughed. “Since you started to fuck up your love life.” She couldn’t hold back any more giggles. “I mean, come on, the Donut? I handed you hotness on a platter and you went with the Donut?”

 

“I still hate you for this ‘Lil.” Veronica motioned to her clothes and sighed. “Your death did so much.”

 

“Then take Dick’s advice.” She suggested with a shrug. “Hate Aaron.”

 

“I already do.”

 

Veronica woke to Lilly’s voice in her ears. “I love you Veronica Mars.”