Board-games that have seen better days...

These were gifts from my dad 16 years ago, when I was in P6. I kept and cherish them like some precious gems till now.

Today, I cleaned up my purple room, and relived those memories again, as tears flow down uncontrollably as they have always been..everyday now, as I watched my dad lasped into a semi-comatose stage.

He does not response much now, even as I showed him Kimi's scan taken from the Gynae's appointment today.


Kimi's head from an angle - I tried pointing out to him Kimi's eyes, nose and mouth

That are so many things I will like to share with him, like I am 52kg, that we have already booked a single-bedder suite for my delivery at Gleneagles, and I am opting for caesarean.  My heart winced, as depression sets in. He used to a man whose so much in control of his life, family, and career - but now, crippled slowly by the deadly illness.

We are seeing a steady stream of visitors at home, from relatives and friends, to the ex-colleagues of my dad.
They have came to attend to the man they love so much, and all have told me the same thing - that he is a good man, honourable and kind. They held him with remarkable admiration, comradeship and utmost respect, and I've cried so much during all these revealation sessions by his friends and ex-colleagues.

His buddies came forward graciously offer us their assistance, in every aspect I cannot imagine, they said my dad had been their benefactor, and has benevolently helped them alot in the past. I never knew all these about my dad until now..

Daddy,

it hurts when you no longer respond to me,
it hurts when you no longer say "I love you" to me
it hurts when you no longer calls me 'girlgirl'
it hurts when you forget Kimi's name,
it hurts when the whole world tells me, that the end is nearing
it hurts that you'll leave us anytime now
it hurts being so helpless and I can't do anything for you at all
It hurts that you will not get to see Kimi at all, and you will not get to buy her the shoes that you've promised to get...
it hurts so much...
even when I am typing out this entire content now

Daddy, my heart bleeds , I am yearning for you and I just want to tell you how much I love you ...

and this love, can never be replaced.

Please remember me, whenever you may be, and be little Kimi's and my guardian angle.
I love you Dad.