Title: At the World's End
Pairing/s: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 24,200+ in 3 parts
Warnings:  m/m slash, facial, AU
Beta: lapis1961   - thank you so much for rescuing me on the Beta hon
Con-crit: Any feedback welcome
Spoilers: None
Disclaimers: They belong to other people I just borrow them for a while
Summary: Alone in a foreign country, Jared searches for himself and finds love.

A/N - written for the Get A Clue challenge at spn_first_time - I took some ideas shamelessly from the manga and film The Crying Freeman

A/N 2 - This wasn't written for Lapis1961's birthday but I'm dedicating it to him as a birthday gift. Thank you for your help and kind words.

Part 1

“Every man should visit the world’s end once in his life. Step off the map and find himself.”

Peter fucking O’Toole. He was the one to blame for all of this. Saying shit like that to him like he was still playing one of his period drama roles. The guy seriously got off on stuff like that and now he was so screwed.

Jared had flown into London a day early. He and Chad were there to promote the new series of Supernatural but he needed to get away. Sandy had broken up with him and an extra day away from pitying family and friends should have done him good. It wasn’t that he didn’t agree with Sandy, they had been drifting apart for a while and a marriage proposal wasn’t really the best way to try and fix it – more like a last ditch attempt to save their relationship. No, he knew it was time. Didn’t mean he wasn’t cut up about it. He loved Sandy; he was allowed a little time to mourn wasn’t he?

That’s why he ended up in London on a Friday night, jet lagged and alone. The hotel let him book in early but sitting in his room wasn’t helping on a different continent any more than it had in Texas.  He may be a lot more upbeat than Sam Winchester but that didn’t mean he couldn’t brood when the occasion called for it.

Jared switched on the hotel internet and searched. Bar, Music, London. Of course, the second hit had to be The World’s End. A pub in the heart of Camden Town and a place pretty much every musician had visited at one point or another. Peter’s words echoed in his head and somehow he had thought it was a good idea to head down there and see how far off the beaten path he could get.

When he stepped off the tube he realised this was a far cry from his usual haunts. He’d seen people dressed up in all kinds of weird shit since he had moved to LA but never this close up. Camden seemed to be the alternative scene’s version of Mecca but strangely enough there was a bigger mix of styles than he thought he’d seen anywhere in one place. He took a deep breath and strode out into the bustle. It had a street market feel to it and Jared wondered if it was like this every day.

After a while he started to relax. He enjoyed watching people. Not as much as he loved being in the middle of any kind of chaos but right now he just wanted to absorb everything. He felt so out of place it didn’t matter any more so he wandered around looking in the shops, a little scared to get close to some of them - no matter how long he lived in LA he was still a Texas boy at heart. Everywhere he turned he saw neon skirts, leather coats, boots that might actually make him taller than his brother, bongs of all sizes and spikes that glinted dangerously in the late afternoon sun.

Jared had already walked past the World’s End. It looked huge from the outside but when he stuck his head round the door, he was confronted with a dark and musty bar that stank of decade old smoke. He couldn’t see why so many people loved it there. He ordered a soda and drank it as quickly as he could before hightailing it out of there. After a few hours of wandering though, he was starving and was really feeling the need for a beer. He gave in and headed back to the pub. Sure there were others around but hey, if he was going to do this he might as well do it right.

 It was amazing. He ordered his beer but this time decided to find somewhere to sit so he stepped round the corner to look for a table. The dimly lit and cramped space opened out into a light and airy bar. There were acres of space with the bar right at the centre and tables dotted round. There was even a mezzanine floor with more seating. He stood there staring around the place for a long moment before going further in. He saw a low archway leading to another, lower area that said it was reserved for diners. 

It wasn’t long before he was settled and tucking into the biggest steak on the menu with all the trimmings. It’d never be as good as back home but it was pretty damn close. After he’d eaten, he felt the post food stupor set in. He did not want to move but he could see them waiting to clear the table out of the corner of his eye. He dragged himself to his feet and headed back to the bar. No way was he heading back to the hotel yet.

Jared glanced round the room from his tucked away corner, well as tucked away as you could get in this place – it looked like it had started life as a warehouse. The crowd was mainly goth and punk – Jared didn’t think he’d seen so much black in one place before, let alone seen those shades of pink, blue and green in people’s hair. He was loving it. He may not fit in here any more than he had when he was wandering around the market but no one made any trouble for him or even looked twice.

It was kinda refreshing not to be recognised or bothered but while sitting in the bar was infinitely better than the hotel he still wished he had some company. His last minute decision to come early meant that Chad hadn’t had time to change his plans and come with him. The guy could be an idiot sometimes and chose the worse things to wind him up about but he was always there if Jared needed him.

Jared didn’t last long before he felt his eyes drooping. Jet lag was setting in with a vengeance and all he wanted was to sleep for a year. Pity he would be on the press circuit non stop from tomorrow. On the way out he thought he heard an American drawl and he glanced over to two men near one of the glass fronted shop displays that ringed the walls. They were both well built, the one with his back to Jared had spiky dark blonde hair and broad shoulders under the flannel shirt he was wearing while his companion was leaner with straight, practically shoulder-length brown hair.

Jared smiled to himself when he saw the blatant appraisal the long haired man was giving him. He was used to the attention and it never bothered him like it did some of the guys he’d worked with. Hell, looks like that were downright flattering no matter who it came from. He saw the short haired man shake his head and bat his companion on the arm and Jared realised he was blatantly staring too, probably encouraging the man which was bad for more reasons than Jared cared to think about. They were probably a couple and spiky hair wasn’t too pleased with his boyfriend’s wandering eyes. Yeah, it was probably time for him to get outta there.

*****

The ringing in Jared’s ears was shrill and unwelcome. His head was throbbing and his throat felt like sandpaper. He needed at least another day’s sleep but the ringing would not let up. Jared grabbed at the phone as best he could without opening his eyes.

“What?” he growled into the receiver.

“This is your wakeup call. You gotta come get me, man.”

“Chad? Don’t you have a driver to get you here? I was sleeping.”

“Nah, man. I wanna see my best friend when I take my first steps in a strange country.”

“You were here last year.”

“Doesn’t stop it being strange.”

Jared groaned. There was no way he was winning this argument before he’d had coffee. He would just have to enjoy making Chad suffer through his jet lag as much as Jared was suffering through his own. “I’ll see you in an hour.”

*****

It was only when Jared arrived at the airport that he remembered the press had been told they were flying in today. It was an opportunity for the paparazzi to get a few shots of them off the plane before the round of interviews and convention appearances began. Jared slipped into his public persona like he was putting on his favourite football shirt. He waved to the fans that always managed to turn up, signed a few autographs and eventually made it over to Chad, engulfing him in a huge hug. Chad laughed and batted him away – he wasn’t exactly a fan of Jared pawing him in public but after knowing him so long, he’d resigned himself to it.

The day passed in a whirlwind of screaming fans, flashing bulbs and PAs telling them where to go and what to do. Normally Jared didn’t mind. This was the price of being famous, especially for a cult hit like Supernatural and he loved the fans so doing this kind of stuff was nothing. Only right now he did not have the energy to deal with it all. His usual vivacity was replaced with indifference.

It was hours later that he collapsed on the couch of his suite with Chad raiding the mini bar.

“So spill,” said Chad with no preamble as he handed Jared a drink. “What’s going on with the sad puppy look?”

“I didn’t think I was being so obvious.”

“Well you’re not much of an actor, Jare.” Chad retorted as he ducked a slap to the head.

“It’s just this is the last thing I need right now. Sandy and I just split and now I have to be the public Jared that everyone wants.”

“The timing sucks I know, but you just gotta do it. It’s like any role. We both know you have off days when we’re shooting but you never let anyone see it. You gotta hold out a few days more and then you can get back home, spend some quality time with Sadie and Harley.”

“Yeah.” Jared said weakly. He really missed his dogs.

“You know what we gotta do in the meantime?”

“Let me guess. Drink?”

“Hell, yeah!”

“Before you say it, no strippers.”

Chad looked crestfallen. In his mind, if a friend was heartbroken you gave them enough beer to make them forget they even had a heart and enough bare flesh to make them wonder what had been so appealing about just one body when they could see hundreds. Unfortunately, this particular method never really worked with Jared. He was too home-spun to think like that. He wanted to fall in love and settle down. He didn’t want the string of one-night-stands most guys his age seemed to be going after.

“So, where we gonna go?”

Jared thought about it for a second and grinned. “The World’s End, man.”

Half an hour later, they were stepping off the tube. Jared heading straight for the bar while Chad took in his surroundings.

“Never took you for the Camden type, Padalecki.”

“What d’ya mean?”

“Leather, spikes and chains.”

“Do you have to reduce everything down to that? No one knows or cares who we are. I came here for a quiet drink and I got one. I like it.”

“Well, while we’re here we might as well have a look around.”

Chad led Jared around insisting on looking in every shop and stall there was. Yesterday Jared had been too self-conscious to do more than glance at the windows or the racks outside. Despite what Chad had said, Camden had something for everyone. The high street was full of shops that had displays spilling out onto the street and that was before you even got to the market. The back streets were filled with hidden shops selling all sorts of strange and wonderful things. People were standing around chatting or wandering leisurely along the sidewalk, of course there was the usual city bustle too but it didn’t feel like a struggle to wander round.

It was when Chad found Cyber Dog that Jared really had to put his foot down. He had picked up a belt with a scrolling message screen for a buckle. Apparently, you could programme it with any message you wanted.

“Chad, you are not buying that. Where would you wear it?”

“That’s the beauty of it. You could have a message for all occasions.”

“Do you really want your Grandma to try and read your crotch at Christmas?”

“Dude, you are sick!” Jared just stared at him pouting slightly.  “You think Sam’s bitchface is gonna stop me?”

“Here’s hoping.”

Chad reluctantly followed Jared back onto the street, muttering under his breath. Jared knew he was in for a bout of sulking from his friend and was preparing himself to put up with it until he’d bought at least the first three rounds. What he wasn’t prepared for was the gasp of awe that came from three paces behind, pulling him up short.

“Man, have you seen this?”

“What?” asked Jared, puzzled.

“This is just the most amazing work I’ve ever seen.”

“The tattoos?”Jared stared at the pictures that had caught Chad’s eye. There were three in the window of the tattoo parlour. Three different men - two Asian and one white guy with spiky, dark blonde hair. They were all naked and the pictures showed the tattoos that covered their backs. The flowing Japanese designs covered them from the neck down to the tops of their thighs and down their arms. Chad was right, it was amazing. 

Jared stared at the picture of the white guy. He couldn’t make out individual elements of the larger design but that didn’t stop him looking. In the back of Jared’s mind, there was a familiarity that he couldn’t quite place.

“Dude, whoever designed these is a true artist.”

“Thanks, man. Means a lot.”

Jared and Chad started at the American drawl behind them. Jared jerked round and looked into a pair of intense green eyes feeling like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. There was a familiar twang to the accent and Jared felt some of the tension drain out of him.

“H-hey. Did you do these?” he asked.

“Most of it. Some is my Sensei’s work.”

“It’s awesome, man. I love this stuff.”

The guy turned reluctantly to Chad and smiled. Jared found himself staring at the man’s full mouth and the crinkles around his eyes. The guy was stunning but it wasn’t that that drew Jared’s attention. It was the feeling that he’d seen him somewhere before. The voice, the hair, the way he moved. Jared just wished he could pin it down. Where had he seen him before?

“So, you two thinking about getting some ink?”

“No-”

“Yeah-”

Chad and Jared said simultaneously. The guy just laughed.

“Why don’t you come in for a beer? I’ve got to finish up with someone but then I’m all yours.” Jared felt Jensen’s eyes on him and turned back to the pictures in the window. “I’m Jensen.”

“Chad. And this is Jared.” Chad took the proffered hand and they followed Jensen into the shop. It was a strange mix of sterile whiteness and homey comfort. The chairs and coffee table were well worn and strewn with magazines and ring binders but everything was conspicuously clean. Jensen gestured them to the chairs and grabbed a couple of bottles of Bud from the back.

“The binders are full of designs. Have a look through, see if you’re interested in any of them – not that you’ll get one today.” Jared looked at him in puzzlement.

“Why not?” he asked.

“First, I’m not going to tattoo anyone who’s been drinking and second, I like to be sure you’re not going to regret my work. As your friend said, I’m an artist.” Jensen smirked at them before disappearing into a sterile room.

Jared wandered around the room. The walls were covered in designs and there were seven or eight ring binders full of more. Chad flicked through a few as he drank his beer while Jared was still captivated by the full torso pictures that covered one wall.

“Hey man.” Jared called over to Chad. “This one is Jensen. He’s the white guy in the pictures outside.”

“Any good tattoo artist has some.” Chad replied without looking up.

“Yeah, but how many have ones this extensive? I mean, he’s even had his dick tattooed!”

Chad spluttered, his beer spraying over the pages in front of him. “He what?!”

“Seriously man, it’s part of the dragon design on his chest. I can’t make out much from these pictures but it’s definitely covered.”

Jared jumped at the hand on his shoulder. “It’s not much fun but you could say it was part of my apprenticeship.” Jensen had emerged from the other room, clearly amused by their reactions. He moved to clap Chad on the back as he was still choking on a mouthful of beer. “Just don’t ask to see it.”

Jared blushed but couldn’t help the way his eyes travelled to the place in question any more than he could stop the startled exclamation. “You’re from Texas?”

Jensen smirked and cocked his eyebrow at Jared as he fingered the large buckle that had caused Jared’s surprise. “Yeah.”

“But you hardly have an accent.”

“I haven’t been home in about ten years. Most of the world finds the Texas drawl pretty hard to understand.”

“Tell me about it!” Jared enthused, unconsciously slipping further into his native accent. “I’m a San Antonio boy.”

“Yeah? Richardson. Left when I was eighteen, barely been back since.”

“God, I couldn’t imagine being gone that long. It’s hard enough spending most of my time between LA and Vancouver.”

“Much as we all love the Lone Star state, can you dial back the Texan?” Chad asked, finally over his coughing fit.

Jared glared at him. “You should know better than that by now, Chad.”

“Yeah, whatever man. I gotta go anyway. Sophia is supposed to be calling me and I do not want to miss it. She has the most sexy voice and, man she is seriously inventive woman. Mmm.”

“Dude, I do not want to know this stuff.” Jared said as they watched him go with similar looks of amusement.

“He always like that?” Jensen asked.

“Pretty much.”

“So why’d you come?” Jensen asked, suddenly serious. Jared looked puzzled at the turn in conversation. “You obviously don’t want a tat and you seem really uncomfortable in here, so why’d you come?”

Jared blushed again. It was getting ridiculous. He wasn’t usually the type to be so easily embarrassed, in fact he usually delighted in causing embarrassment – just ask anyone on set. He had no idea why an arched eyebrow and quirk of the lips from this stranger set him so on edge. But the amusement in those green eyes had him grinning in return.

“Chad.”

“Okay. He’s gone. Why’d you stay?” Jensen asked quietly, his gaze intensifying. Jared’s breath caught in his throat as he tried to answer the question. Truth was he didn’t know why he stayed.

“I wanna spend some time with a good ol’ Texas boy of course!” Jared exclaimed, laying on the drawl. “That and I do not want to be in the hotel when Chad is taking that particular call. It’s bad enough when she’s on set.”

Jensen joined in with his laughter and Jared felt instantly more at ease. “So, you and Chad. You famous?”

“Ever heard of a show called Supernatural?”

Jensen’s head snapped up in surprise and stared at Jared. Once more he felt uncomfortable under those green eyes, like Jensen could see right through him – not that that should be anything to worry about.

“My little sister is always going on about it. She’s totally in love with Sam.” Jared looked away and rubbed his neck. Being a teen heartthrob was nothing new but he did not want to know that Jensen’s little sister was one of the screaming fangirls. Jensen watched him, his jaw dropping with the realisation. “Wait. You’re Sam?” He laughed again, rocking and gasping for breath. “Just wait ‘til I tell Kenzie I met the great Sam Winchester.” He gasped out.

“You met both Winchesters actually. Chad plays Dean.”

“Oh, this just gets better. Makes me want to go home just to see her face.”

“Want me to sign something for her?” Jared asked wearily. He had really hoped this was not going to be part of his evening.

“Hell no! She wants an autograph she can pay for it.” He grabbed a beer from the fridge and tossed it at Jared.

“You not joining me?”

“I was planning on working later.”

Jared put the beer on the table and started for the door, suddenly anxious to be gone. “I should go, let you get back to work.”

Jensen laid his hand on Jared’s arm, stopping him from leaving. Jared’s heart raced and he stared at the hand covering his forearm. It was strong and lightly calloused; the fingers were long and dexterous and stained with ink.

“If I wanted you to leave I wouldn’t have offered you another.” He said softly. “I was planning on working. Right now I’m enjoying the company.” Jensen removed his hand and shrugged. “I need a night off anyway.”

Jared let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Jensen grabbed a beer for himself and collapsed onto the armchair Chad had vacated. Jared sank into the one opposite and took long pull, watching Jensen through his lashes. Under the plaid shirt and jeans you couldn’t tell there were acres of tattooed skin. He wondered if that was the point, knowing they were there when no one else did – unless you let them.   Jared raised his head and looked into vaguely amused green eyes – he knew exactly what Jared had been doing.

“So what are you working on after hours?” Jared asked eventually.

“I’ve got an exhibition at the end of the week. Need to get the designs ready, match them to the models, mix the paints. The usual. It’s always stressful but it gets my work known.”

“So, what? You tattoo people for an exhibit? Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

Jensen smiled. “Some of them are real tattoos but most of them I’m painting on. Not permanent. Irezumi is too hard on the body to do lightly, believe me.” The puzzled look Jared threw him was obviously familiar. “The full body Japanese tattoos, like mine. They’re done with a needle, not a gun like most tats. It can take years to do them.”

“Why would you do something like that to yourself?”

“It’s a long story.” It was clear Jensen didn’t want to go into it so Jared just nodded. “How long are you here for?”

“End of the week.” Jared replied, accepting the change in the conversation. They sat quietly for a few moments. “Look, I really should get going.” He said after a while, draining his drink. “It was good to meet you. Good luck with the exhibition.”

Jensen stood looking slightly disappointed and shook his hand, the warm fingers clasping lightly. “You too, man. Come back any time and drop by the show if you’re still in town.”

“Sure.”

*****

Jared blamed his sleepless night on the jetlag. He was in a foreign country and had been given no time to adjust. That was the reason he was drifting in and out of restless sleep, that and his break up with Sandy was obviously playing havoc with his peace of mind.

What felt like minutes later, Jared woke sweating and hard to the shrill call of his alarm. He had dreamt of a sinuous dragon with piercing green eyes. He dreamt of dragon scales sliding on skin and chrysanthemums dancing in the air around them.

*****

The next day took on an unreal quality. Jared went through the motions, answering questions from fans and interviewers alike, joking around with Chad, posing for photos and just doing everything he was told from the minute he woke up. By lunch time his face was aching and his throat felt hoarse after the tenth interview of the day.

“I’m taking lunch.” He said without warning, standing up and wrenching his mike off before the sound tech could do it for him. He would get hell for that later – actors are never allowed to mess with the equipment. It didn’t matter though. Suddenly he just had to get out of there.

Chad stared at him and made to go too but Jared waved him off. They knew each other well enough to know when to back off but that didn’t stop Chad throwing him a concerned look. Later Jared would feel guilty as hell about that but right now, he needed to get away. He walked past the crowds of adoring fangirls, ignoring their attempts to stop him for autographs or pictures. He smiled and waved at them without slowing down – he was still a professional and everyone knew you didn’t have a go at the fans no matter what.

It wasn’t long before Jared found himself back in Camden. He hadn’t made the conscious decision to go there but as soon as the sound of the bustling streets hit him, he felt himself relax. He’d been here two days running and both times, he had been free of his fame. He really needed that right now. He didn’t want to play at being Jared; he wanted to be free to act the way he really felt. It seemed like the only time he ever got to do that was at home with his mom.

Jared was just wandering the streets aimlessly when he saw a familiar figure waving at him. He felt his face light up into a smile. Just when he was missing Texas so much a little piece of it landed right in his lap.

“Hey Jensen. How are you, man?”

“Good. Just grabbing some lunch. You wanna join me?”

They wandered through the market looking at the various vendors and trying to decide what to have. It was an easy, undemanding companionship and Jared felt himself slowly relax in a way he hadn’t been able to the day before. They argued over the benefits of Chinese food over Indian and agreed that fish and chips were definitely out. Eventually Jared told Jensen to recommend a place so they ended up back at Jensen’s shop with bags full of Japanese food.

“You gonna tell me what’s up?” Jensen asked without warning. They had shared out the food and Jared paused with a forkful halfway to his mouth.

“What makes you think something’s up?”

“Well, you’re spending all your free time with a relative stranger when your best friend is over in Earl’s Court right now. So, what’s up, Jared?”

Jared sighed. He knew he could cut the conversation short, leave and never come back but a part of him knew he would regret it. “I’m tired is all. I’ve just finished filming and we’re going straight into the usual rounds of conventions and interviews. All I want to do is go home and see my mom and my dogs but I have to come here instead. Here everyone wants to see the fun-loving man-boy they’re used to seeing and I don’t have the energy for it.”

“Wow. Guess I asked for all that.” Jensen said on a sigh.

“Sorry.”

“Shut up. I’m glad you told me. Is it really that bad?”

“Yeah, woe is me, right?” Jared replied with a sardonic twist to his lips knowing he had no right to complain.

“Well, Kenzie tells me you normally thrive on this stuff, that you’re always so good about the fans no matter what else is going on in your life. What’s different?”

“Did anyone ever tell you that this level of perception is annoying?” Jared asked with a rueful grin.

“All the time, so spill before I start guessing.”

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Jensen. He was undemanding – for the most part – and insightful. The unease of the previous day was gone and Jared started to feel like they had known each other forever rather than a few hours. They joked and laughed and Jared found himself telling Jensen about his break up with Sandy.

“I don’t know what happened, or when or why. It’s like one minute we were madly in love and the next it was gone. I mean, I still love her and she loves me but it isn’t the same. We must have been growing apart for a long time, I just didn’t see it. In the end we both agreed to stop pretending and end it.”

“But you’re still sad about it?”

“Yeah. What we had was really good, Jen. I can’t bitch about her because she didn’t do anything wrong and I can’t mope around because I’m the one that finished it. No one seems to get that I need to mourn our relationship. I mean I was going to marry her. Surely that entitles me to some slack when it comes to this press shit.”

“You saying you couldn’t have reorganised this trip if you really wanted?” Jensen asked.

Jared sighed, “probably. You’re right. I wanted to get away but when I got here I realised it was a bad idea.”

“Nah, the idea was good – the execution could use some work.”

Just then, the shrill beep of Jared’s phone interrupted their laughter. Jared grimaced as he put the phone to his ear, checking his watch.

“Get your ass back here, Padalecki. We’ve got a panel in 15.” Chad said without preamble. “Eric will kill you if you’re late.”

“I’ll be there. Stall a little if you can.”

“Whatever. Just get here.” Chad groused

“I owe you, Chad.” Jared cursed as he flipped the cell shut. Jared cursed as he flipped his cell shut. “I’m sorry, Jensen, I have to get back.”

Jensen just smiled that sexy, easy smile of his and nodded. Wait. Sexy? Jared smiled back automatically before fumbling for the door.

“See you around, Jared.”

*****

Jared stayed away for the next few days. Eric and Kim had balled him out for disappearing and warned him not to do it again. His agent had told him to get his act together too - something along the lines of “once in a lifetime chance.” He decided that riding out this trip was the best thing to do and trying to find a little piece of home was not going to help. Of course, it had nothing to do with the way he’d reacted to that smile. That had purely been a momentary aberration hardly worth mentioning.

The rationalisation would probably have worked too if it wasn’t for the dreams. For the last three days he had woken up from the most amazing dreams to find himself achingly hard or with a wet patch on his boxers that made him feel fourteen again. He would fall asleep and find himself surrounded by a green dragon with piercing eyes that made him melt with desire. The scales would rub gently across his skin as the dragon undulated and curled tighter around him, drawing him closer. Jared would bring his arms up around it, surrendering himself to the dragon. He would feel himself burn up inside and out. He reached out and touched the smooth, dry skin surrounding him and felt the shudder run the length of the dragon’s body – a shudder that was echoed in Jared.

That was when he normally woke up. The smile and lust in the dragon’s eyes coupled with the touch of skin and scales was too much. The first dream he had been able to explain away but then he had seen Jensen again. He had spent a couple of hours with him, had seen the photos again – he knew who the dragon of his dreams was.

It was hard to get through the day when he was so preoccupied with questions he had no answers to. He had never looked at another guy like that, never even thought about it. But now all his thoughts seemed to revolve around Jensen, the way he looked and moved, his perfect mouth, the time they spent together and the amazing erotic dreams.

*****

Jared had become so used to seeing Jensen in his mind’s eye that it took a moment to realise he was actually there, standing in front of him with a queue of fans stretching out behind. Jared felt his jaw drop but couldn’t do anything about it, couldn’t do anything but stare.

“Hey Jared.” Jensen said grinning.

“H-hey. What are you-?”

“You know I told Kenzie she’d have to pay for an autograph like everyone else? Well, she sent me the money and told me to go get it for her. I’ve been queuing for the last two hours.”

“You should have come straight up here man.” Chad broke in while Jared was still searching for a coherent sentence.

“I tried but your fans are not to be messed with. I got scratch marks where one grabbed me.”

“Where?” Jared growled. Chad and Jensen looked at him startled.

“I was kidding, Jay. I’m okay.” Jensen said quietly. Jared looked sheepish, realising how much he had given away. And in front of Chad too. Thing was, Jensen seemed to understand and Jared honestly didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. “So did I queue up for nothing or am I going to get you boys to sign something. I got a kid sister to get off my back.”

“What about a picture of Sam and Dean signed by both of us?” Jared asked finally pulling himself together.

“Sounds great.” Jensen said smiling happily before leaning over to Jared while he signed the picture. “How about after you take me to dinner? I was worried about you, Jay.”

Jensen was close enough for his breath to coast over Jared’s skin. He shivered, a picture of the green dragon of his dreams wrapping itself around him had him jerking back shakily.

“S-sure. I, um, we’re due to finish here in about half an hour.”

“I’ll come back for you.” Jensen whispered, leaning closer still. Jared stopped breathing. He was so close. All he had to do was turn his head and they would be touching, it made his fingers itch. All he wanted to do was feel those lips on his and find out if the skin was as smooth as his dreams. Just when he thought he couldn’t stand it any longer Jensen straightened. “Thanks guys. I really appreciate this.”

Jensen shook Chad’s had, waved to Jared, mouthed ‘later’ and disappeared into the crowd. It was a good job he was stuck behind a table for the next half hour – it might just give him the chance to calm down. 

*****

Jared spent the next half hour in a state of complete confusion. He signed pictures and smiled at everyone, joked with Chad when the situation called for it but it was all automatic. Chad had noticed something was up if the looks he was giving Jared were anything to go by. But what could he tell him? It was crazy. How could he suddenly start feeling like this about another guy? What was it about Jensen that made his heart race and excitement stir in his belly at the very sight of him? Yet whenever they were together it felt right. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before, not even with Sandy.

The last of the fans had been ushered through and Chad was stretching out his cramped fingers but there was still no sign of Jensen. Jared knew he had heard right, Jensen was coming back for him and they were going to dinner. He had barely been able to stay in his seat when Jensen had left but he had because it wouldn’t be long before they were together again. Only, he wasn’t there. They were running late and for the last hour, he had been sitting there watching out for Jensen to apologise and ask him to wait. It had been the longest hour and a half of his life. But Jensen hadn’t shown. It didn’t make any sense.

“Jay!” Chad called, waving a hand in front of his face. “You in there man? I said Jensen is waiting for you upstairs.”

“When..?”

“He got here about a half hour ago when that girl fainted on you. I gave him a pass and told him to go up.”

Jared didn’t even stop to thank Chad – something he was probably going to regret in the morning. He just raced up the steps, three at a time, hoping Jensen hadn’t gotten tired of waiting. He burst into the suite reserved for the stars of the convention flustered and breathing hard. He grinned stupidly at Jensen who had looked up from the magazine he was leafing through when Jared had made his entrance. He grinned back and Jared was struck by how beautiful Jensen was when he smiled freely like that.

“So, where you taking me to dinner Jay?”

“Um...I hadn’t really thought about it.” In truth, all Jared had been able to think about was seeing Jensen again. Dinner itself was a side issue and that should have been the biggest clue that something wasn’t right – Jared never forgot about food.

“Well –“ Jensen hesitated, a delicate flush staining his cheeks. It was the first time Jared had seen him unsettled and part of him was decidedly happy that he had the upper hand for once. He was so used to feeling gawky and nervous around Jensen that it was a nice change. Didn’t hurt that the colour just enhanced the green of his eyes. Jared shook his head, trying to rid himself of the stray thought.

“I don’t want this to come out the wrong way, but...” Jensen stopped again, this time looking straight at Jared, seeking reassurance. Jared smiled at him.

“Come on, man. Spit it out. I’m hungry.”

“Well...How about we eat at your place?”

Jared’s jaw dropped. His mind wanted to scream NO and get the hell outta there. His body on the other hand reacted so strongly to the thought of Jensen in his hotel room, with a bed and sheets, he lost all control of his voice. 

He saw the smile slip from Jensen’s face as the flush deepened. He watched Jensen pick up an artist’s portfolio case and realised he was about to leave. Jared was still standing in the doorway, barring Jensen’s departure.

“Jen, don’t go.” He said softly, placing his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “S-Sure we can eat in my room.”

“Jay, I don’t want to make things hard for you. It would probably look really bad it you were seen going into your hotel room with a strange man. I get it.”

“That’s what you think this is about? My career?” Jared asked incredulously. “I don’t care what it looks like. We’re friends. Sort of anyway.” He sighed softly, dropping his hand. “You just caught me by surprise is all.”

“What? You think I’m gonna jump your bones? Takes more than dinner to get me to put out, Padalecki.”

Jensen gave a relieved laugh, the grin back in place, while Jared reddened. He didn’t even want to think about the way the blood rushed south at the sight. As he led Jensen up to his room, he thought for the thousandth time, what was it about this guy that made him turn into a thirteen year old girl?

They ordered burgers and beer from room service and sat on the gigantic couch watching the soccer highlights. Neither of them had much interest in the sport but it was the best thing on. They whiled the evening away talking about Texas and ragging on each other’s football teams. Jared got so fed up with Jensen’s claims of superiority that he poured salt in Jensen’s his beer when he was taking a leak.

Jensen spat it out all over the coffee table, spraying Jared a little in the process – completely unnecessary!

“Never mess with a Texan’s alcohol, boy!” Jensen yelled as he lunged at Jared, getting him into a headlock. Jared tried to wriggle out of the hold but Jensen was surprisingly strong. Jared reached his long arms back and started prodding at Jensen’s sides, searching for a weak spot. He knew he had it with the involuntary flinch that nearly cut off his breathing. Jared concentrated on the spot, stroking and poking Jensen until he was crying with laughter and trying to bat Jared’s hands away. Jared turned to face him, throwing them both on the floor in the process, Jared sprawled on top of Jensen.

“You are freakishly strong.” Jared said, gasping for breath and laughing.

“I hold people down and stick ‘em with needles all day. Course I’m strong you idiot!” 

Jensen pushed at Jared’s chest to get him to move. Jared stilled, the heat from Jensen’s hand burning through the layers of clothes he wore. He could feel Jensen beneath him, see the way his eyes darkened as he looked up at Jared. Jensen’s hand was still pressed against him but he wasn’t pushing any more. Jared felt his body reacting and panic flooded through him. He leapt up and crossed the room in a few quick steps until he was as far away from Jensen as possible while staying in the same room.

Jensen looked hurt and confused, but only for a second. When Jared risked a second glance he was as composed as ever, wearing a small sad smile.   His gaze slid away from Jensen, unable to look at him with the conflicting emotions surging through him. Now he knew it wasn’t just him who felt this thing between them. Oh God, what was he going to do?

The portfolio case Jensen had been carrying earlier was propped against the wall. Jared reached for it, glad of the distraction and hoping to steer the conversation back to the easy camaraderie of a few minutes ago.

“What is this?” he asked, risking a glance at Jensen, who was looking decidedly uncomfortable.

“Um, I was going through the designs for the exhibition, matching them to models and arranging times to paint them.”

“Can I look?”

“That was kinda the point.” Jensen stared at Jared’s feet and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Jared was just confused – and flattered Jensen wanted him to look. “There’s this design. It came to me when –“ Jensen broke off. “Well, I’ve been working on it for the last few days.”

Jared fingered the zipper, looking at Jensen for permission who nodded briefly. Tension was radiating from Jensen as Jared slowly opened the case and drew out the pictures. Jensen explained they were signature motifs rather than the full designs he would be drawing onto the bodies of his models. Just the thought made his stomach flutter. Jared leafed through them all, pausing on a few and making appreciative comments to Jensen who had come to stand beside him. The tension was still there but he was relaxing a little as Jared praised his work.

It was the last picture that mesmerised Jared. A beautiful green dragon wrapped sinuously around a golden phoenix. Their faces turned towards each other as they flew through the air. There was nothing more important for them than each other and their need to be wrapped closer together. Jared stared at the dragon, seeing it for the first time in true detail. He saw Jensen’s eyes and the supple strength of his body in the smooth lines of the drawing. He knew without doubt that this dragon was the same one that covered Jensen’s body and Jared ached to see it on living skin.

Every time Jared breathed he could smell the fresh, clean scent of Jensen filling his lungs. His insides quivered as Jensen moved closer still.

“I wanted to show you this.” Jensen whispered huskily. “Jay, I want you to wear this. There’s a companion piece to go on your chest but this would go on your back.”

To demonstrate Jensen swept his hands over the breadth of Jared’s shoulders and down the curve of his back. It was too much. The sensation burned through him allowing no room for thought. He turned to face Jensen whose hands now rested lightly on his chest, fingers curling slightly into the cotton of his shirt, and pulled him closer. He saw Jensen’s eyes darken and the unconscious tilt of his head before leaning down. Somehow, it no longer mattered that Jensen was a guy; all that mattered was feeling his lips beneath his own. 

The caress was almost chaste at first, Jensen’s perfect lips were as soft as he had imagined and just begged for more. Jared groaned as Jensen swept his tongue over Jared’s lips, testing, teasing, seeing how far Jared wanted to go. Jared opened his mouth and stroked Jensen’s tongue with his own. He tasted sweet and fresh despite the beer and burgers. It was the taste of Jensen and Jared had never had better.

Jared had no idea how long the kiss lasted. It was soft but fierce and blocked out everything else. It was nothing like he imagined it would be. All of his uncertainty made it a kiss of contradictions and all the more intoxicating because of it. He lost himself in the soft, wet caress of Jensen’s tongue, the taste of his breath on Jared’s lips. Jensen was all gentle persuasion teasing him until he gave in completely and pulled Jensen closer, drawing him against his body.

He was left feeling bereft when Jensen reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead on Jared’s shoulder as they both tried to regain control of their breathing. Jared felt weak and clung to Jensen.

“That was...” he said shaking his head.

“Yeah,” Jensen replied with a shaky laugh as he pulled away.

Jared only then realised he was still clasping the drawing. He smoothed it out and looked down once more. It was beautiful and Jared knew it was an honour to be asked to be one of Jensen’s models. He ached to do it if only to feel Jensen’s hands on him, but that was also the reason he opened his mouth to decline.

“Don’t answer yet, Jay. I didn’t want to pressure you and I didn’t come here for this.” Jared looked confused feeling rejected and relieved – and seriously, this constant ambivalence was getting old quick. He hadn’t wanted the kiss either. Not really. Jared mentally shook his head – there was no point lying to himself now. “I can’t say I’m sorry it happened though.” Jensen continued. “Look, I know this thing between us has come out of left field for you but the exhibition would be completely professional.”

“I, I-“ Jared stuttered.

“I know the look, Jay. I had it myself once. I’m gonna go. Here’s my cell. Call me when you’ve made your decision or if you wanna talk about it okay?”

Jared stared at Jensen as he gathered up his pictures and left. He was still standing there ten minutes later when Chad knocked at the door. Jared wasn’t sure if he was glad or disappointed that Jensen hadn’t come back.

Chad pushed past Jared and collapsed on the couch. “You gonna stand there all night or are you gonna offer me a beer, man?”

Jared forced himself to smile and grabbed the beers. He sat next to Chad and downed half the bottle in one go. He sat there trying not to wish it was Jensen beside him.

“So, what did Jensen want? You can’t actually be thinking about getting a tat. Wardrobe will kill you if Eric doesn’t first.”

“No, that’s not what he was here about.”

“Really?” Chad said a little too casually. Jared gave him a sharp look but Chad was looking fixedly at the late night film that had come on. “You two headed up here early. I missed you at the suite.”

“Yeah. Jen wanted to ask me something.” Jared took a deep breath. “He’s doing this exhibition Saturday. He wants me to be a model.”

“What kind of exhibition? He’s a tattoo artist and you don’t have any tats. Unless...” he paused looking hard at Jared. “Is that what you two were doing up here for so long? Did you get ink? Man, you know how much I want one. You coulda told me!”

Jared laughed so hard it hurt. He was slightly hysterical and he could tell Chad was freaking out a little but he couldn’t stop. It was so far from the question he thought Chad was going to ask, the one he was so afraid of it was funny.

“No, man,” he said when he’d calmed down. “He’s going to paint his designs on.”

“So, will you be naked?”

Jared flushed - he hadn’t thought about that but the size of the picture and the amount of detail, not to mention where Jensen had touched him – yeah, he would have to be naked.

“Oh, man. This is great! You know it will be on all the fan sites, right? They’ll finally be able to see if you’re proportional.”

“You know you should stop reading that stuff right? It’s far too disturbing.”

“Hey, it’s not my cock the fangirls are obsessed with.” Chad ducked the light punch Jared threw at him. He sobered slightly and asked seriously, “so, you gonna do it?”

“I have no idea.

Part 2