To my surprise (and delight) I no longer feel as if I am entering prison every morning as I come in to work, nor do I feel like I'm escaping prison when I leave. It's still not my favorite way to spend eight hours, but I no longer feel oppressed and depressed the entire time.

It certainly helps that She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named no longer has anything to do with my work day. I've seen her maybe four times in the past six months, spoken with her only briefly and about nothing of consequence.

When I listen to the songs I associate with uncrowned_king I seldom weep, and when I do, often tears of love and gratitude for the blessing of the relationship with him, not the agony of grief at being parted.

I do some form of spiritual practice every day, and my spiritual life is getting ever deeper and more satisfying.

I no longer feel any twinge of fear or nervousness when I get into an elevator.

I am working out with weights and cardio a couple of times a week. I need to expand that, but for now it's still having a positive impact. As I observed a little while ago, my muscles are getting stronger and my lung capacity is improving again.

My non-rational urgency/fear around hunger has diminished significantly. Even when I'm hungry, I'm not going through the drive-through on the way home from work. If I snack at my desk, it's on a few cashews and almonds, not potato chips.

I've stopped having sudden images of myself with my hands bound -- a mental quirk that's been with me for decades.

A particular relationship that's been troubling for much of the past year has decreased in urgency and painfulness because I'm no longer allowing someone else's lack of connection to upset me.

I'm still not the world's greatest housekeeper, but I'm starting to feel both more relaxed and more attentive about my domestic chores. I perceive the energy impact to the clutter and want to do something about it.

Slowly but steadily I am gaining faith in vocation and feel increasing excitement about living it out in public.


All of this adds up to a much happier and more contented Me than I've been in a very long time.