You know, you hear Marlee Matlin, Sharon Gless and Jessalyn Gilsig are all gonna be on an episode together, and you think to yourself, oh, hey, that's a great idea! The mention of either of those three names would have been good, but all three together, and you think it's something you just can't miss. However, the mention of three names like that together somehow short-circuits your brain to stop registering facts before they get to the part where they tell you it's an episode of Nip/Tuck they're all gonna be on. If I had opinionated bunnies, this would be the *my eyes, my eyes!* bunny.

Seriously, for two days I've been trying to watch it, and my eyes, they're bleeding. I've finally steeled myself, and am now fast-forwarding through, with the mute being the default that may very temporarily be lifted. Poor Jessalyn's scenes went out the window about 15 seconds in, but Sharon Gless, while her first appearance made me cringe and shake and wish for the return of Cagney (ah, my DVDs, you and I will hang out soon), her second appearance, in which Marlee Matlin (I almost wrote Jodi! Ilene Chaiken, you're brainwashing me!) appears, oh man, my ladies were kickin' butt! All the men were whiny and stupid and annoying (and ugly) and the ladies were perfectly in sync, obviously knew each other well (or knew of each other well enough to really play off each other very well - yes, still talking about the characters), and totally whupped their asses *good*! Yeah! It's an unlikely pairing, but Gless and Matlin are fantastically well-matched, have great chemistry, and these characters could totally be a pairing.

However, Sharon Gless is apparently one of those amazing people who have great chemistry with everyone. Still, I miss Cagney.

And Julia may be an annoying crazy undecided (I don't really wanna call her a bitch, because from what I can tell, she's more unhappy and clueless than a real bitch) woman, and if I ever met her (not Joely Richardson, totally not Joely Richardson) I would most probably punch her in the nose for dumping Olivia (OMFG). That said, that scene at the doctor's office, and then the other one where she's sick at home and Sean takes care of her. She's pretty. She's pretty pathetic, too, but I still like her, and I would be VERY pissed off if she's the one who's gonna die that's been hinted about. (I haven't actually seen the hints, but other people have told me there are hints and spoilers somewhere that a major character is gonna die.) To move on to Joely Richardson, however, her I adore! Maybe for no other reason than I have a crush on her sister and that she got to make out with Portia, but it still counts.

Seriously, has someone written happily-ever-after threesome fic for Julia/Sean/Christian? Because I think I'd like that. I'd read that, and I'd never watch the show again. So much drama! So much sad! So much unhappiness! Come on, people, try to be happy! Do these people *ever* settle down in the moment and enjoy what they have instead of fucking everything up??

Ah, Cagney.

Sean: "Sorry I was so late."
Cagney: "Forget about it. [faux-Italian accent:] Forgeet abooot eet! While I wash waiting I made friendsh with thish bottle here!"

And I gotta say, I don't know the first thing about Gina and Julia's history, but I gathered that it pretty much sucked between them for pretty much ever. Still, though, Gina's kinda mean. Christian isn't really HIV positive, is he? He is having an affair, though. However, one thing she said, I totally agree with. Julia should totally 'keep that dyke close'. Like, really close. Like exclusive close. Like screw the whole LA thing and go home to NYC and be *happy*. Please?

And like someone else somewhere pointed out, where the hell is Olivia??? They haven't broken up? This is all an affair they're carrying out somehow? Olivia seems pretty savvy, you'd think the fact that her girlfriend hasn't been home for, oh, several weeks, would be some kind of indicator.

And Sharon Gless's character had such promise in her first scene, but I guess this show simply cannot allow a strong woman to exist. Or a happy man. Or any kind of character that is remotely at peace with their life. However, they could have gone with *anything* else but the boring-as-hell, predictable-as-hell, my husband left me for a younger woman storyline. PLEASE. Damn you for making such moronic crap of her character.

Christian killed Jessalyn Gilsig????? The heck?? OMG. I will never forgive him! (Of course, now she can move on to bigger and better shows.)

Marlee Matlin had one scene? They brought her in to do one scene, and she didn't even get to do any signing. I think she even kept her hands beneath the table the entire time. It's not that I mind it when she speaks, but her hands are so beautifully expressive.

Man, I want that hour of my life back. This show sucks.