Tagline: It’s alright to laugh about gruelsome death, really, it is!

Review ----------spoiler warning---------- the following review contains spoilers----:

 So, let’s commence this review by saying that, normally, the two of us aren’t real fans of the hacker/slasher genre. Safe to say we didn’t really expect much of anything, let alone a movie which is credited to be both HORROR and COMEDY. It’s an unusual blend, which doesn’t actually work in 97% of the cases. There is a thin line between making a comedic horror flick and making a horror film stuck with satirical jokes. The timing has to be impecable, the humor has to be spot on and most importantly, even if it’s a film with a comedic twist, you can never let the viewer forget that it is, in fact, a horror film they’re watching.

Fortunately for Severance, they stayed on their side of the line. It wasn’t tasteless (to some aspect) and we even laughed at some of the goofs they put into it.

Severance is a movie you either LOVE, hate, or learn to love. It all depends on your own taste (as per usual-).

The movie starts of with some upbeat or ballet sort of music. The first thing you see is a couple of prostitutes running through different parts of the screen very fast. Not only are they running very fast, they are doing so barely dressed. Which alone, is a sign for some guys to go see the movie. As always, the stereotypical round-breasted Eastern-European women are used as an audience drawer. This is..until they fall into a man-made hole, which seems to be around 2-3 ft. Deep. (the people who made that hole sure must have had their muscles pumping!)

Not knowing what to do, the women quickly do what seems best for them. They take of their clothes. Luckily, a huge stem is also around, which they make good use of. They tie the clothes (well, the little they had on to begin with) onto the branch and throw it out of the hole, hoping that it will stick behind something, making their line solid enough to clime out!

But BEHOLD! A man appears on screen. A terrified man with a terrible dress code might we add. The man, seemingly out of breath, looks into the hole, appologising for not being able to get the girls out (FOR SHAME!). The man runs away and hits...a tree.  The funny thing about this scene is that the camera actually keeps going for another few seconds, making it seem like the camera was chasing the man and, only to the surprise of the camera man, did the man hit the tree.

Hereafter, the man is strapped upside down against a tree and another man appears. He’s wearing some sort of mask, and speaks Hungarian. This Hungarian man sticks a huge knife into the terribly dressed man. Blood streaming down his neck, a lot of blood. Maybe too much blood for one human body to cary. But it does make way for a wonderful visual.

This is the beginning of the nightmare. The beginning...of  SEVERANCE.

*sing* It’s all too beautifuuuuuullll

That’s how the movie begins.

As a nicely painted dark blue bus with orange logo creeps through the screen, the Small Face’s Itchycoo park is playing in the background.

The surroundings are only to be called beautiful. There’s a lot of green.

Let’s start with a small introduction of the characters, as they are also introduced to the public, during the first couple of shots inside the bus.

The main character’s name is Steve (Danny Dyer). He works for a company called Pallisade, which is a weapon’s company.

He’s the person that’s most out of control, eating mushrooms and taking drugs to get through the day. However, troughout the movie, Steve is a valuable asset in the survival game of the group. If it weren’t for him, several other members would’ve been killed either a lot faster or they wouldn’t have made it through at all. Danny Dyer does an excellent job portraying this character, and he is well casted. (Eventhough we’re not sure whether it’s completely Danny’s ‘fault’ that he did so well. He seems to be a little out of control himself from time to time.) He makes for an excellent lead. We love the fact that his character sort of goes through a transition. At first he’s this Fuck-Off-character who doesn’t seem to care about anything but himself (and his uppers) but he then slowly progresses to be more of a caring character. He evolves into more of a group person and it looks good on him.

The female lead’s name is Maggie (Laura Harris). She plays a mid-American girl who works for Pallisade as well.

>In the beginning, Maggie seems a bit stuck up, like she doesn’t want to have anything to do with the rest of the people on the bus (especially Steve). She seems rather annoyed at everything he does, may it be taking pills, smoking weed or eating mushrooms loudly: “I’ll give you 50 dollars if you stop eating.” Leaving beside that an English bloke doesn’t have any use of a 50 dollar bill, it doesn’t exactly get him to stop eating the mushrooms in that very distasteful way. Throughout the movie though, she too makes remarkable transitions. She is equally good at selling weapons as she is in First Aid ‘I need something to tie up his leg.” And as a care giver: “Do you have any downers?” We grew to love this character. We do have a problem (well, maybe that’s a really big word...let’s say it shows) with the fact that Ms. Harris always seems to be playing Mid-American girls, while her accent (and yes, you do have one) screams “Canadian”. Nothing against the Canadian accent though, it’s cute in its richness and remarkable qualities. We’re just making a point in telling you this because we read some comments (we don’t know if they’re from Ms. Harris herself or from her many fans) that said that it doesn’t really show that this 30-someting-year-old bombshell has a Canadian accent. She might have been living in the States for 11 years, accents are a real bitch to get rid of. But we do like some of the lines she had, including “I didn’t want to be accused of not killing him while I had the chance”, which is a wink to other horror movies, where the first opportunity to kill the enemy is never the one where the enemy actually gets killed. Well done also, by both Danny and Laura, is the way they played it out. The next scene seemed like the ending of the movie (already). So when there was that big surprise, it blew us away!

We like Laura Harris’ acting in this flick. She brings forth a couple of commemorable scenes and the most beautiful picture of the entire movie.  But what the hell is up about all the issues of the woman’s weight? There seem to be a lot of jokes cracked towards Laura Harris’ weight, and we don’t see the fun. “Skelletor”, “What is everyone’s obsession with what I eat, I am not too skinny.” And most of all, the way harris (Toby) mysteriously finds a skelleton “by the generator” and Laura posing exactly like it in a later scene. Luckily, all buildings in a remote part of the world, in the middle of a deep forrest have a skelleton at their generator. It’s a number one priority! So remember people. If you ever move to a forrest in Hungary, Don’t forget your stack of bones!

Next there is Richard (Tim McInnerny). The leading man on the bus, and seemingly second in command of the corporation called Pallisade. He’s a bit stuck up, yet he doesn’t have any reason to be. Richard is the kind of leader you don’t want to have. Undecisive, credit-stealing and most of all, disregarding the wishes and thoughts of some of his closest collegues. You see him opening up more in the course of the film, not only finding out his love for cheese, but also finding out which of his fellow collegues he would like to...have intercourse with. Leaving room for some “one woman to another” jokes. He also turns into more of a leader (to some aspects) as his co-workers slowly push him to the edge. His personality slowly starts to crumble down throughout the movie, with a huge surprising bang in the end.

Here, it’s completely plausible to give a round of applause to the hair (ahum) and make-up department. You wouldn’t notice (all too much) that, in the movie, Tim McInnerny is wearing a toupet, a weave for men.

Next in line is Babou Ceesay’s character Billy. The quiet man of the group. Seemingly intelligent and romantic, seemingly very in love with Maggie. He’s sort of the brains of the group (and the only black guy in the entire movie, which says something about the diversity in the casting...-). Billy is one of the characters who is most seen standing up for both himself and the entire group. He opens up to Steve about his romantic feelings towards Maggie during a hide-out at a paintball match. Every once in a while, his strong character, along with his insecurities come through. Together with Laura Harris, Babou is part of the most beautiful, heartfelt scene of the movie. The way Babou portrays this character is impeccable and totally credible. Especially if you know that this was, in fact, Babou Ceesay’s first feature film role!

Gordon (Andy Nyman) is a funny little man (proving quotes as “No rambo’s, absolutely no rambo’s” and “If one of those things hits you in the eye, it will pop like a ping pong boll”) . He seems to be one of those yes-nodding employees, which he kinda is. But there’s also a lot of depth in this character. There’s something eery about the way his character is set up from the very beginning. Whenever you see him on screen, you start thinking “this is the part where he’s gonna die”. However, his torture scene seemed a bit out there and short. We had hoped that the character (yes, he dies) would have been given the sort of untimely death. His jumping diving board and serving pie days are over after just a short scene. Dissapointing. He does, however, have the most positive walk about him. Never seen a man walk like that before, only when they have to go to the bathroom.

Toby Stephens plays “Harris” in Severance. Taking on this job because “he had never done a horror movie before” was probably the last thing he should’ve been thinking. There’s a lot of things we didn’t like about Toby Steven’s acting. His character is an uptight employee of Pallisade who’s in charge of sales. This means he sells weapons. His entire “grizzle” seems to be fake. There seems to be little to no empathy or sympathy inside this man. However later he opens up a bit towards the character of Claudie Blakley. (He did kinda look like Damian Lewis, that other Canadian who played Dick Winters in the band of brother series...) Everything about the way the character is portrayed felt wrong to us. The way he smiled after his head was chopped off, this fake bad boy attitude. Luckily, he dies.

Last but certainly not least is Claudie Blakley’s character “Jill.” Jill is one of those nervous types. She always sounds so affraid when she speaks! But Claudie did a good job. Especially since we found out that her, being douzed in gasoline, was actually her being douzed in gasoline. Most actors would’ve either gone for stunt double or water being douzed over them, but not Claudie! Eventhough her death certainly is the most memorable and painful of the entire crew (okay, maybe the man that had a knife up his ass had more to suffer than Jill, but that was a bad guy, which makes it totally acceptable). Poor Claudie had to walk around the house with a mini tarantula on her back, despite her Arachnophobia. She even had to hold the thing in her hand...such bravery we can only applaud! For the limited time she was actually in this film, she did a good job in portraying Jill.

So, we guess that’s about it...our review for the film.

We kid, we kid, offcourse we’re not done. We’re only at 2000 words, which is far too few, considdering our track record.

Speaking of tracks, that’s the way this movie continues. After a short busride, the road is blocked and they are forced to continue their way on foot. Not knowing whether Hungary is “bear country”, they go into the forrest, folllowed by a nice scene with an actual bear. Eventhough the scene itself was kind of redundant, it did make for some nice footage.

But we’re running ahead of ourselves. We’re still at the coach. We totally forgot Laura Harris’ character being intertwined with a possibly urinated jeans and her being faced with the male organs of Danny Dyer. Yes, you did completely miss that if you haven’t seen the movie. But now, we’ve covered that, and we’re going on with the review.

After Danny’s... natural side came peeking through, he is forced to walk along with the group with a very long rope. We don’t know how they got the rope, and we don’t know why they brought it, but seeing that, later in the film, they magically wish for hamer and nails, and they find just that, we’re gonna leave it open for interpretation. But it, again, makes room for some quality performances. Both from Danny Dyer as the one who’s being strapped on the rope, as Laura Harris, the seemingly annoyed character who does actually seem to enjoy the moment of power she has over Dyer’s character. –S&M much?

When the group arrives at the, what is to their belief, Luxery lodge, which Pallisade had purchased just in time for the trip, there seems to be nothing wrong. Other than the fact that the lodge isn’t exactly as luxurious as the leaflet said it would be, they all decide to make the best of it and make peace with their situation, only to agree that something will be done by the next day.

Later that night, Harris finds some Pallisade documents, which are conveniently located near the generator as well (if you gotta find/store something, the message seems to be that the generator is the best option!) which indicates that some deranged lunatics are in play. The characters later come to the opinion that all of it is corporate hearsay or a conspiracy.

>Slowly but surely, insecurity and fear creep up on you. This is the moment when the movie starts getting that darker feel of a horror movie. The time when you’re like “okay, now, they’re gonna die.”

The way the characters are written which so much depth is pretty good for a horror movie. They’re very well develloped. Also, location wize, they did something really clever. Part of this movie was shot in (obviously) Hungary, and another part was shot at the Isle of Man, in the UK. They made some smart scenes where one part is the Hungarian forrest and the other part, with only a slight transition, is the IOM. Same with the cabin they were staying at, where the shots at the first floor were all shot in the IOM, where the ground floor was in shot Hungary.

We could very much appreciate the humor in this film. Eventhough, maybe it was a little much to have a rocket launcher shoot down an airplane. It was even a bit much that George (David Gilliam) brought a rocket launcher with him on retreit to a wood in Hungary. We liked the subtle jokes and we loved the in your face jokes. Potentially, the most funny part was Gordon on his diving board. We liked the romantic hints, just because it was so obvious that Maggie had a thing for Steve.

We loved the casting of this film. Dyer and Harris make a great on-screen couple. If they would’ve had another person play either of their characters, we fear that much of it would’ve remained lost in translation. Thankfully, we’ll never know.

The way that music is sometimes ironically pared with some of the scenes is absolutely hilarious, yet it doesn’t feel at all inappropriate. When Steve and Maggie are fighting and holding on for dear life, the sort of ballet music that comes together with maggie killing one of the bad guys (okay...maybe the fact that Laura Harris’ stone carrying is also hilarious) with a boulder was great. Steve, not getting pissed off at someone kicking him down with a rifle, yet being totally aggravated when someone yanks out his precious tooth was hilarious. We don’t like seeing people being douzed in gasoline and being set on fire, yet it’s also in this film.

One thing we have to say though. When Laura Harris’ character is tied up you can hear her yell “Steve, He’s coming!” However, if you hear her say it, it sounds more like a woman giving birth in a delivery room than someone actually being under a great amount of stress.

One thing we didn’t like, though, was that the entire movie had little to no diversity in it. We know that it’s a movie set in Eastern Europe. And that there are much more caucasian people living in Eastern Europe than there are Chinese people, Black people or what have you, but there were, all in all 2 black people in the entire movie. And that IS counting the guy in the corporate video at the beginning! All the Hungarian women were bombshells and, once again, led to believe that everyone in Hungary is a horny prostitute with breast implants and a weave. Just to burst some bubbles NOT EVERY WOMAN IN EASTERN EUROPE has big boobs, breast implants and a weave. They constantly use it in every film and it makes for great stereotypes, we know. But sometimes it’s just too in-your-face and tiring. No wonder many Americans thing Eastern Europe is some sort of sex paradise. They are shown nothing else. Nobody every seems to be interested in the real Eastern Europe, which is nothing like anything they ever show in the movies.

On the other hand, the large deal of strong woman did make this up a little bit. Especially the scene in the end, where the two prostitutes are sort of rambo-ing their way through the scene and save the day, leaving poor Steve and Maggie to rest on the ground in their bowt. We’re sorry..that’s our Canadian accent popping through. You know how it goes when you have relatives living in Canada (which we’re sure of..we just don’t know them personally and have never been in Canada before)

All in all, this movie is definatly worth seeing, if you haven’t already. It’s widely available online in all region codes and the dvd has a crapload of extra’s on them, (WE LIKIE!). We believe it are just a little under 2 hours worth of extras!

The soundtrack: not found L

Our score: 7.5/10

Mood about the movie: humoristically scared

Recommended for: Danny Dyer fans, Laura Harris fans, fans of comedy, fans of horror, british comedy fans, Geographically challenged people

Not recommended for: Squeemish people, blood fearing beings, those who don’t appreciate irony and british humor.