My eldest younger brother has my youngest younger brother pinned to the ottoman and is bouncing up and down on his ribcage,  singing the Mexican Hat Dance. 
And now it's a standoff with a throw pillow and a bottle of ketchup.  
And now there's ketchup on the door. And the wall. And my Eliot quote poster that took me three weeks to make in GraphDesg last semester. That's not cool, man. Not cool. 
See what I have to deal with? Try writing like this. Practically impossible.